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Lori, I had to laugh at the commeny about Idol. I am 38 and have never watched it until this year. I am a transplant to NC but of all the NC people, Chris did belong there. I have no clue what people were thinking. My thought is...I did not vote so I cannot bitck if I do not agree (that is just me). It is kind of like voting...I do not like what is going on but....I did not vote so, my own fault. I will say so far all the news stations are stunned and it is all over down here. I agree...Kat should have gone. I agree my mom is pretty great. I need to think hard for something for her. I was going to steal D's flower delivery.. Talk to you all in the morning.

Idol sucks man. My guy got sent home tonight... it should have been eliott or kat no chris. I voted for him like 50X last night.. so i won't be watching it next week. so let me know who wins ok. LoL. still waiting to hear about dh's job. doesn't look good.

yep KAT should have went home. I am sooo ticked off..

Ok here is my American Idol post..I had not watched either show (the singing or the vote off) when I got on here tonight. We Tivo'd them both and didnt watch either tonight like we usually do because dh has me literally in hockey hell! So, when I got on here to post, I got caught up and as I read Lori' post I thought "Well at least I dont know who goes home, but know it wasnt Katherine"..THEN I got to Lynn and d's post and well...I just started laughing..We'll still watch, I just told dh now that I know who got voted off (I too am really sad, Katherine bugs me, always has) and he wanted to watch both shows now-its almost 11:00! I pride myself on not hearing or reading articles about how the did the day after they sing so I can be surprised when I finally watch..Guess thats what I get for not watching when it airs!!

Tracy, a lot of the time, my af stops after 2 or 3 days, then starts up again a day or so later. It bugs me.Good news about your blood test right?? Like I said..sometimes it has to be the little things in life. Lori, I guess I forgot about parental rights. Geez..Does she deserve them even? It will be nice for not only you and dh to have time w/ Johnny alone, but I would think really nice for him as well. He needs time to settle in and get used to you all together now as a family. I feel so happy for him too!! Lynn-I didnt forget about your appointment today. I got so busy today working that time ran away from me. Your Mom loves you and wants you to be happy and help fulfill your dream. I think its great!! I sent my Mom flowers for Mothers Day too. Do something special for her, but I love that she is helping you..I am doing my 2nd IUI in June, assuming all the cysts are gone. We should be close in our cycles, my last bcp is on the 22nd, should get AF in a few days after that, and if not, they will give me something to bring it on..Doing IUI w/ Menopur injections again. Im about half way through my bcp and was just thinking tonight after taking it, Im ready to get started again. I bet thinking of delivering today was hard, and bitter sweet. I feel for you. Im sorry, it must have been a little painful..I wont say "it wasnt meant to be" and "your time will come" stuff, but I understand and want you to know Im sorry that had to happen to you. My dh gets his hair cut by a lady who did 4 IUI's (3 w/ clomid, 1 w/ injections) all failed. Did IVF, stuck in 4, implanted 3, lost one, and had twins a few years ago. I know its not a great pick me up story while a lot of us are in IUI land, but listening to my dh talk tonight about it (he had his hair cut today) I think it gave him a new perspective on how I have been feeling. She told him after her 1st IUI didnt work, she was depressed for a month..After hearing that, I felt a little better. I am going through some depression myself, I think the mix of my Dad passing away and this stuff, it has all gotten to me. I told my dh the other night I am going to find a therapist covered by our insurance and start going...I think it will make me feel better to just talk to someone, and just TALK period about it all. So, thats whats been going on with me..Im fine, its just been a hell of ride the past few months..I want to try to go into this next IUI and whatever follows a little less stressed out. Expectations are hard to make go away, but the stress can be controlled. Ok, now I have rambled enough and Im tired..We're all so talkative today! I want the best for each and every one of us..I hope you all know that!

CC - I am SOOOO SORRY!! I didn't even think about the fact that someone might not have seen the show yet. PLEASE forgive me. Next week my big mouth is zipped!! Hey if you feel that you need someone to talk to then go for it. I see my therapist about once a month. She really helps to "clear the cob webs". We all know how the monthy disappointment can drag a person down. And you have been through a heck of a lot more than just that!! Lynn - I hope you are doing ok today. I can't even imagine how yesterday must have felt for you! (((BIG HUGS))). Tracy - Hope you are doing ok today too!! EMM - WHERE ARE YOU???? D - When do you have your next Dr. appt for your knee? If you do need surgery I hope it is a quick and painless recovery!! JCR - I hope we don't have to wait too long to know whether it is a boy or girl!! Shauna - How are you doing today? What are your plans for this cycle??? Andrea - How are you doing today??? Well, chat at ya all later!!

Morning homies. CC-I think the idea of seeing a therapist is a great idea for you right now. It would really help you sort out all of your feelings and give you coping mechanisms. I know it's hard for us to go through our monthly disappointments, but to add loss must make for some pretty overwhelming emotions. Talking always helped me. I went to group therapy once a week for childhood sexual abuse, and it was the best thing I ever did. I spent a year and half just talking my ass off and came out renewed. Cry, talk, feel; just get it all out. On a lighter note......I don't watch american idol because I don't have the patience to sit through it. It just doesn't do it for me for some reason. I'll watch the crap out of Law and Order though, or Extreme Makeover; Home Edition. Actually, I watch a ton of those home shows like reDesign, or House Hunters. I love interior design shows. Anyway......can you believe that ever since that lady did the ultrasound on me that I feel pain where I think those fibroids are???? Like I woke up at 6am and my right side had a throbbing pain in my abdomen. It was inrtra-vaginal, so I think her rubbing against them and stuff has irritated them. Also, when I am standing at work for a while, I feel achy in my abdomen like she woke them up from their sleep.

Lori, you dont have to be sorry. It was pretty funny, really. I told my dh w/ a show that big, we need to watch it when its on! We have only watched for 2 seasons (this one and the last) and we Tivo because like Tracy, sometimes its hard to sit through a whole hour of crap. When you record it, and fast forward through all the commercials, and banter, you are amazed at how little show there is.-ANYWAY! Lori, whats the haps today?? Do you have Johnny yet? Tracy, I to record every single episode of House Hunters there was. I think I have seen them all a million times! That show is cool. You know, before my IUI last month, when I got my follie scan, I was uncomfortable for days after the ultrasound. Those are trans vaginal ultrasounds as well. I think you are right, they sort of nudge whats there, and disturb them, especially if they are really trying to get a good view and touch it a lot. Thanks for the postive vibes about the therapy..My Mom always has said that everyone could use some good therapy some time or another..When I was younger, I thought she was nuts. Now I get it! Hope everyone is doing well today.

CC & Tracy - I love all those remodeling shows on HGTV too!! That's where I get alot of the ideas for our remodeling!! CC - Glad that you are not upset about AI. I really just wasn't thinking!! Tracy - sorry to hear that you are having pain with those fibroids. I know the pain I feel when they are doing those u/s... so I can only imagine if you have fibroids on top of that, how you must feel. Yes, Johnny is officially with us!!! I picked him up around 1pm. Then we did a little shopping. I brought him a couple of really cute outfits (One is Winne the Pooh - Lynn!). Then we went and picked DH up from work... and Johnny got tired so he is taking a short nap! Check back later.

HELLO.......... I did not get a chance to post this morning. What a crazy month this is going to be. CC, did not mean to blow who got booted. Sorry. We both are going to be the injections and IUI queens next month. Who knows.....maybe Tracy will join us. Advice, you do need to be as stressfree as you can possible get. RE did say he was glad I took a month off and we will jump in when I get AF next. I am on cd 8 so it cannot come fast enough. Hockey Hell...hey there, be careful. I miss following it. In PA it was on tv so much more than here in NC. I cannot even really find when Hurricanes are playing. Oh well...you and your dh can keep me posted on who is going to fight for Stanley Cup. D, wanted to comment on your HOTTIE. I had to laugh when you were talking about get a message from him. Girl, this is probably the one safe place to comment on that. Any info on the dh job? What does he do for a living? Tracy, any news on the insurance front? May 31st is just around the corner. JCR, tomorrow is the big day...your appointment is what time? This whole thread is going to be on pins and needles waiting for details. Keep us posted. Any potential names? Shauna...how are you doing? How many foster children are living under your roof? I am so glad there are caring people out there for these kids. Lori, I am so EXCITED for you. Did his foster family make him a little care package? Way to go on the outfit....lol. Just keep tigger going, he is once pouncy animal. I just love him. If ever a child...tigger nursery we will have. So, how was dh when you and Johnny pulled up to pick up daddy? I am so glad it worked that you cna have him forever at this time. What a wonderful present. So what do you have planned for your new family? Please do not forget to give us daily updates. Me...I am on cd 8. Attempted to BD tonight but dh ruined it and I just could not after so comments. Why do men make comments and then in 10 minutes think everything is okay. UGH!! sorry, small venting. check back later.

Hey guys...kind-of bummed out today. Doc's office called me and talked all kinds of insurance crap woth me before I had to go to work, and the way it stands right now, not even the sono will be covered by my insurance until after July 31st. Long story....it's all about a lapse in coverage and a pre-existing clause on my new insurance that ends in July. Apparently when I went to the gyno last February, they diagnosed me with some small fibroids and dysmennorhea??? which is painful periods....thus the pre-existing condition. I have to talk to both my old insurance and new insurance companies tomorrow, because technically one policy ended on october 31st and the new one began november 1st, but they are saying there was a lapse in coverage so a pre-existing clause applies to me. I think it's a load of shit and intend to call the insurance commision to find out what the law states tomorrow. First of all, I have felt like shit all day long (strep) and secondly, this is bringing me down. I have cried at random times today out of sheer frustration and lack of will to go on. I just don't have the strength for this. I can't even talk to dh about all this because I can't handle his frustration on top of my own. I've lost my will to fight.

(((((TRACY)))))..sorry. I can say I am so with you on all the insurance SHIT. I know it is hard to digest eveything but please be strong and lean on us. Call tomorrow and see what you can find out. Did old OB even say anything about what they diagnosed you with? If not, maybe that is a starting point. Frustration I understand....and I am sure each of us this share your frustration. Please try to stay focused and we can help you move on. Hope you feel better. Talk to you girls tomorrow.

Good Morning...Just checking in but I see everyone must have been busy last night. Lori, how is Johnny? Has it all sunk in he is your now? Tracy, are you feeling a little better this morning? I hope so, if not..keep venting to us. D, any news about dh job? I hope for the best. CC, are you still panty liner free? What cd are you on? Shauna, how are you doing? JCR and EMM...have not heard from you girls. Anyone read anything from Serine and Andrea? Hope they find us. Well...off to work so talk to you all tonight.

Tracy - I hear and feel your pain. All of the stuff that goes along with infertility & ttc IS very frustrating!! You WILL get all the insurance crap straigtened out in time. I was in a funk much like you not too long ago... thinking why is EVERYTHING in my life so darn difficult when it seems to be so easy for everybody else. Everyday I wondered what was going to go wrong next!! Sometimes it is hard to see the forest through the trees, but you ARE an intelligent woman and you WILL take care of "business"!! One of my favorite sayings became "And this too shall pass". ((((BIG HUGS FOR YOU)))).

Well today is cd3 and I have not even called the RE yet. I am going to do that today and let them know that I will be on (what I am going to call) an "indefinite break". Lynn - Johnny is doing well. It really hasn't sunk in too much that he really is "ours". I think that will happen once he has been here for more than just a few days (longer than our weekend visits have been). I am going to make the necessary phone calls to get him evaluated and check into getting his botched circumcision fixed. Then get all of his things unpacked and get his room totally set up for him. Well I hear him fussing in his room so I guess it's time to get the "party" started. Check back when I can. Have a great day everybody!!

Thanks for the words of encouragement ladies. I am about to start making those phone calls....I'll let you know what happens. Lori, in the midst of my pitty party I meant to congratulate you on becoming a mother. It must feel so good to have the responsibility of loving that child and making him happy. He deserves you as much as you deserve him, and that makes for a great relationship. He will always love you for this. As for me, I think it's time to get a puppy, but I know DH won't go for it, especially since our landlord doesn't want any new pets. It seems everything is just out of reach for me, but a puppy would make me happier right now and shift my focus just a little. I'll check in a bit later to tell you what I learn.