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Ok if I am not pregnant then af will be aweful this cycle. I have been crying over ever little thing lately. Last night I was watching the new show "Dirt" to see how it was. Well one of the charactors had a cat with cancer so that set me off. Then I thought the cat was going to die during one fo the scenes so I am crying over that. Then the cat does die and I lost it. Thank god dh was in the other room or he would think I was crazy. Then on the way in to work listeners are calling in about getting engaged over the holidays and I am crying over this. What is wrong with me. I feel like I am losing it. Pepsi - You are testing on Saturday too? I am going to hold out as long as I can. I think I can do it since its almost here. Newmommy - So glad you liked your first day for the most part. Once you get the hang of everything it will be much easier. I always hated the first day at a new job. Its like going back to school after summer vacation when we were kids. Where is everyone again with their cycles? I am on cd25, 10dpo.
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Baby & Pepsi - Do your bbs hurt at all? Normally by now my bbs are so sore but I have nothing. I hope thats a sign. My temps stay at 98.1 this morning. I don't have much of an appitiate either. I could not for the life of me figure out what I wanted to eat. The only thing I really wanted was a coke from McDonalds. But when I drank it, it had a funny taste to it. The same thing happened to me this past Sat. That one really tasted weird. Thought it was me but this one tasted wierd too from a different McDonalds. I know I shouldn't look into things because I don't want to be disappointed. Is it Saturday yet? Thank god today is going by fast. Only two more days of work then I get to test. I am so nervious. I don't think I can handle a BFN. I have been so emotional lately and I think this would send me over the edge.
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Hi guys! The u/s appt went pretty well. Of course the nice follie was on the right. It measured about 17x23 which is good. I had the triple lining (she kept calling it triphasic) and that measured 7.5. I made more follies this time-probably 4 tiny ones one the right and left and then the nice one on the right too. Got the trigger shot and we're set for the IUI tomorrow at 4pm. Here's a question. Our last bd was Friday-we couldn't bd because of our guests for New Years then dh's work schedule prevented us from it. Should we bd tonight, then have the IUI tomorrow. I am leaning towards no so dh has a really awesome sample tomorrow for the IUI, then bd after the IUI. I just don't want to miss it, but I think we'll be okay. Let me know your thoughts. Newmommy-thanks for the cervix class. It was helpful. I will have to try it if this month doesn't work out. Sorry, your first day was so hectic. They usually are crazy, plus you are so nervous. Hopefully today was better. K8 and pepesgirl-you guys have really good signs, but I don't want to instill false hope. That's how I am, I scrutinize every little symptom. Try to make it til Saturday to test if you can. We'll be cheering for ya's. Where is everyone else at. I'm on cd12 trigger shot day...
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Hey K8 - Sorry you are so emotional. I hope this is the real deal for you. Clomid is tricky because the side effects can mimic pregnancy. It's so cruel!!! I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you. I noticed things tasted funny too. Please keep us all posted.
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Hey Bina - Don't BD....Save the good ones for tomorrow. You want them to be potent girl. =) Swim little guys...SWIM! I hope everything goes smoothly for you. Fill us in on how you are. We will probably try IUI after my surgery. I am soooo ready for it to be over with.
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If ya'll ever want a good laugh check out the pregnancy & sex boards. There's some crazy stuff out there. Newmommy how's the new job going? Give it time and you will catch on. It must be crazy right now. My job is really intense right now and there is so much going on. Of course with the new year everything is getting switched around.
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Hi guys, how is everyone doing? I did something stupid and it took a huge toll on me. I used a EPT 5 days sooner results yesterday and got a BFN. Soory K8 I cheated... This was the worst thing I could have done because I'm now so depressed. I haven't left bed since yesterday, only couple of hours to go to work. I'm just watching tv and not thinking about my life right now. I'm supposed to get af on Friday so it was 3 day before and it was 11dpiui. Why did I fool myself so much thinking that this was it? I had new symptoms that I had never had before and all of that made me happy. I jus wanna sleep and wake up when I'm pg because I can't take much more of this. It is so hard financially and emotionally. I completely broke down today and cried for an hour with dh. It made me a little better, but I'm so sad that I don't even feel like talking to anyone. No one knows about about is happening with us and all of our close friends have kids so it is extremely hard to do something and forget about us not being able to get pg. I already accepted the fact that I'm not pg because I just don't feel it. K8 I don't have sore boobs at all either this month. I keep asking God what is it that he wants to teach me. What is going to take for me to get to pg? I wish someone would tell me so that I would just do it. Cheri told me that this was my month and that the IUI would work right away. I guess I got carried away by that prediciton and truly believed that this was it. I feel like screaming and crying my eyes out right now UGHHHH! I hate this feeling of not knowing what to do. We'll try another IUI this month, but every time I go in for some different procedure I wonder where will we end up. We don't have $ to pay for IVF or injectibles so our options are very limited... I'm sorry guys! I tried to control myself and mot say anything, but I had to tell you guys. I'm still going to test on saturday if af doesn't show on Friday, but now my hopes are really low. Bina, good luck tommorrow! Are you doing 2 again this time? Try to lay down and relax for some time after the IUI, ok? K8, good luck! You're our hope for a bfp this weekend. Whoelse is testing soon besides us? Good luck ladies! Thanks for listening to me. I love you all!
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Hey gals, I have been having a few days lately of some pg sxs I am trying not to obsess over....headaches, realllllllly tired, nausea at times during the day, funny tasting food (metallic) or strange appetite (not hungry at all or verrrry hungry for sweets), high temps the past few days (98.04-98.40) when I have been in the low 97's or high 96' s, and an overall blah feeling...
K8: my bbs have been sore since the weekend, which is new for me... I am going to try to hold out till sat am but I have to admit I am actually scared to test cause I fear a BFN and I don't have the heart to see that right now...DH keeps saying "Hello baby" to my stomach and I really hope he is right, but if not, I am going to be soooo depressed and heartbroken!!! I have been a little emotional but more so just blah and not really caring or into anything...definitely not myself though. Well, I will do more personals later today if I am still awake or tomorrow when I am home from work...I am kind of just feeling down right now but not sure why...
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Hi, girls. I'm SO glad that I'm home now. Work was hell again, and I'm completely drained and frustrated! I was able to ask some more questions this morning, but after lunch, my trainer left for the rest of the day. One of the other girls came out and helped a little, but basically all I did was try to watch a few training videos about our booking system (in between a billion calls and patients which I didn't know how to help!) which taught me very little---it didn't even show me how to book an actual appt.! During this time, the other trainer also left, and it was just the other new receptionist, me, and the new billing person. I could not believe it! If I didn't need to work, I would have probably quit! I know things will eventually get better, but the complete lack of training is just the worst possible thing for me. UGH!!! Counting the days until Saturday! AND, I'm not feeling positive at all about this cycle anymore. I'm afraid that I'm not ovulating, because I haven't had a temp jump yet, and I haven't detected a surge on either opk or my monitor. I'm really trying to be positive, but if there's no temp jump for me then I can't be ovulating, right? I'm also concerned that my cm was SO watery. I read that if it's too watery, sperm don't have the viscosity needed to be able to swim. I think my cm is starting to dry up, too. There's not a lot at the opening or in my underwear (tmi alert!) but there is still the really watery clear stuff just inside, and runny, whitish cm near the cervix opening. My cervix still feels open or partially open, so I'm so confused! *sigh* BAD DAY!!! TWhit or Baby, don't you guys check your cervix regularly? How many day have you noticed your cervix open/partially open for, and how long after "o" does it close? Oh, and DH doesn't want to BD tonight, either. It may be good for me to take tonight off, too. TTC SUCKS!
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Baby - I am so sorry. I think thats why I have not tested yet. The fear of the BFP. You are not out until she shows up. Pepsi - I feel the same way as you. Emotionally and pyshically. I don't think I could face another BFP. I feel the same things you are feeling plus while I was cooking tonight I had this cramp that I have never felt before. Almost like a pinching. I just stood there for a moment and actually pictured the egg burruwing into my cervics. I know I am crazy but it felt right. Plus I had this dream the other night that I was picking out clothes for my little boy and it seemed so soon and he was about 2 months old. It just seemed so real. Bina - Save those swimmers. Just bd after your injection for extra support.
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Oh Baby Baby!!! I am so sorry you are so down. I read your post thought I was reading my own. I have felt EXACTLY like you do right now. The let down is the worst part of this whole process. Especially when you believe that it is really happening. My advice to you is to look at doing the lap surgery. Maybe there is something that they can correct. Before you spend another dime on fertility meds or IUI's think about doing it. I am right there with you as far as not being able to cover IVF. It's ridiculous how much it costs. It's ok to feel like not talking to anyone. I cried for 3 days straight and refused to talk to anyone aside from my family when I found out I wasn't pg in Dec. It was rough. Christmas sucked this year. It was one of the hardest ones I've had to go through but I made it. Somehow. I am sending you big hugs and lots of baby love!!!!
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I figured I'd split my postings today since I'm writing a novel to you guys. Looks like a bunch of us are down today. Baby, SO sorry about the test. I know how you are feeling. I know I will be the same if this cycle isn't positive for me. Test again in a few days when you're up to it just in case. K8, Pepesgirl---hopefully your symptoms are positive for you. Why is it that we are all down towards the end of our cycles this month? I hope we'll all be able to laugh at ourselves soon! Lucky, are you still waiting on "o"? Bina, I'll be thinking about you and your IUI tomorrow!!! BABYDUST and SPERMDUST!!! Everyone else okay? TWhit? Diem, still thinking about you!
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Thanks Newmommy! I think I o'ed but who the hell knows at this point. It has been nice to be off of meds. I don't miss them at all. I know we all seem to be flat towards the end of our cycles. I get that way too. I don't start until Jan. 11 th or so. I have my pre-op appt. on Jan. 10th. Whoa! K8 - I just saw previews for Prison Break!!! thinking of you girl. Had to get that in there. =) Newmommy - sorry for the interuption. How are you feeling physically? Anything different? I know I miss Diem too. I hope she is ok. She is one of the originals and is missed. Well ladies I am heading to bed. It's been a super long day.
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I've been really tired lately. I know know it's mostly from starting work, but even before then, I've felt really tired. If I had already ovulated, I would have thought it was a pregnancy symptom. I've had some cramping here and there too. But lately like I feel like I've analyzed my symptoms so much that I don't even trusy myself anymore!
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Hi girls. I just read this only an it really hit home: "This is not the hardest thing you will ever do for your child."
This is so true and I'll try to keep that in mind from now on. Good night and good luck!
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Baby - Well said!!!! Lucky - I can not wait for it to start again. Newmommy - I know how you feel about over analyzing everything. Its driving me nuts. I saw this comercial last night that just got me bawling. It starts off showing a baby in a u/s and then it shows the parents and the doctor and they are all happy and then the dr. asks them if they want to know the sex and they say yes and its a boy and they are all excited. It just made me cry. The ad was for the doctor and their maternity care. I know I shouldn't let that get to me but man it was so hard to watch. My temp went up again this morning so if it stays high tomorrow then there is a good chance this is it. But I don't want to get my hopes up yet. I like feeling like this so I will hold out testing until Sat. I can't handle a BFN right now.
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