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OOPS... I pressed something wierd.. Anyway...poor DH I am the biggest crab apple ever. I was so tempted to go buy maternity pants today since not 1 thing fits me. These hormones have been awful this month
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Hola!!! I'm here for the weekend in our new house! I wish I could stay instead of having to go back. I told my work that I would give them 2 more weeks, so I'll be able to move permanently on the 27th!!! No BD last night, but hopefully tonight. We've both been pretty tired, and I'm pretty sure it's not close to "o" yet, so I'm not quite as insistent---but it IS overdue! ;-) It seems so wild that I don't know exactly what cd I'm on, and not opk testing and all the works. I'll probably opk test next weekend, just in case. K8---I'm sorry 'bout the BFN. I'm hoping that it was just too early for you. LUCKY---I'm SO sorry you are still having a hard time. We're thinking about you!!! Sounds like everyone is trying too tough it out lately. We are a strong bunch! BARZEE----WELCOME!!! Well, I'll go for now (although DH is quite pissy right now, and is getting on my nerves!). This should make BD fun tonight! Grrr.
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Good Morning!!! Has anyone tested today????? I am on pins and needles waiting for your bfp's ladies :-)
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No dice girls. AF came late last night.
I am so heartbroken. My best friend is MIA. I have no idea if she's delivered or not. I just can't bring myself to pick up the phone and call. Half of me feels like she should be the one to call me and see how I am since she knows how incredibly difficult it's been on us. Her DH called my DH and said he wanted to go out for a beer before their kid came. whatever. couldn't he have at least acknowledged that we are not in the same place as they are?!?!?!? Maybe said I know things are tough on you guys right now how about we grab a beer one night and hang out a little.
They are so self absorbed right now. My Mother in law (MIL) has been in ICU this whole past week. Girls it's awful. She is an alcoholic and has been drinking and talking pain pills. Her stomach gave out on her and she started bleeding internally. It's so sad. So on top of all the shit I've been dealing with that is piled on too.
I think I am going to walk away from this friendship for a little bit. It hurts too much. She has NO CLUE as to what I am going through and it hurts that she can't so much as call me to see how I am. Whatever.
Hopefully I'll make some connections in my support group. I need ladies that are going through this and can understand my pain and tears.
Anyway today's a shitty day. Sorry for the downer. My emotions are just so raw today.
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LUCKY!!!!! I'm sooooo sorry about AF. I know what it's like to have high hopes and have them crushed month after month. I wish I could come over and give you a hug. People who get pg easily will NEVER understand us. It's a journey I wouldn't wish upon anyone....yet wish they all understood. I'm glad that you can at least vent here. AF sucks.....this journey sucks....having pg friends suck.....but we have wonderful dh's and we have eachother to get support from and give support to. Your friend is in her own world right now...as we would be if we were about to give birth. Her mind is consumed with selfish thoughts as ours will be also. It's ok to feel alone and jealous. I do everyday. But it's not her fault that she is giving birth and excited about it. Please cut her some slack. She is your best friend and wouldn't purposely make you feel shitty. If you have to break from her for a while it might be a good idea. But I'm sure she needs your support right now too. Doesn't it suck that we CONSTANTLY give support to people when we feel like we need it most? Its part of being a good friend and be unselfish. Though at times all I want to do is be selfish because it's my (our) turn!!!!! I'm sorry you are feeling like crap. It's ok to feel like crap. It's normal. Don't you wish there were a miracle pill that could make you not care so much about the ttc journey and all of it's heartaches? I sure do. It would make life a lot easier. It's not fair. TTCing and having no luck is not fair!!!! I am with you and feel your pain :-(
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Lucky - I will be right there with you. I think by Tues AF will be full blown. I am not spotting on the outside but I have a little pink on the inside. This sucks so much!!! Next weekend I get to see my pregnant sister in law. It will be the first time since we found out she is caring twins. So of course I will have to be all excited to her and put on a fake smile. I have a feeling I will end up breaking down and crying and have to leave the room. They have no idea what dh and I are going through. And I know I will hear. You guys are still so young and you are not ready yet. Who is really ready anways? In our hears and minds dh and I are ready. Ready more now then ever. I'm going to starting crying now. I am so happy to have you guys. I really thought this was it. I wasn't trying to look into everything but I was having cramping and fluttering feelings for almost a week now. Guess it was just gas. Well I did have fun yesterday with my dad at SixFlags. It was so busy tho. We only got on three rides and went through there Haunted Trail. But it was still fun. Well I am off to watch some horror movies and pig out. I love food when I am depressed. Newmommy - I am so happy you are going to be at our new home permently soon. At least that will take some stress off your TTC journey.
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Good Luck to everyone that is waiting.
Tomorrow at 6:30 AM in the morning I take a bldd test to see if I am prego. The nurse normally calls me around 2:00. Since I am a teacher I am going to wait to answer my phone bc if it is a BFN I dont want to cry in front of my students. I will give everyone an update soon. Keep your fingers and toes crossed.
I still have the worst cramps, and I am peeing like crazy....oh and finally my boobies hurt---wooohoo.
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I'm in such a crappy mood right now. I think I'll just be cryin all night. I can't explain the empty feeling I have right now....... But DH is working tonight so I should get my tears out now! I'm feeling so very depressed. So down. I feel like you all are the only ones that understand. Sometimes my ttc journey feels so lonely.
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Sorry you are all feeling so down... I feel for all of you because I know what it's all like. I guess there's not much I can say to any of you, other than what you already know, which is that we're all hear to listen and vent to! May the coming week be no worse than the last.
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Thank iyou Diem for the heartfelt advice. I sincerely appreciate your opinion. You are so very right. I am going to give this relationship with my best girlfriend space. I just can't be there right now. She finally called me today and I told her everything. All of what I was feeling and about my MIL. She said she didn't want to call and talk about the baby. She said that she didn't want to hurt me. My response was nothing can hurt more than the pain I wake up with on a daily basis because of my inability to conceive. Maybe not the nicest thing to say but you know what it's the truth. I left the conversation saying that I wished her well and to call us when she had the baby.
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Jersey - I hope all is well for you. I so wish I was in your position and had a BFP. Everyone is down this week because it's been a rough one. Keep us posted on your progress and don't forget us. We need your support still.
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On another note. I spent the afternoon thinking about our game plan. Here's the deal. Tomorrow I am calling Gyno. Getting on Femara right away and insisting that they monitor me closely. Blookdwork on cd 21, sonograms to measure follicle size, etc. I want to know where in the process things are going wrong. We will go two cycles on Femara and then it's on to the RE we go for injectables and IUI. If that doesn't work then it's on to International Adoption.
BOTTOM LINE: I will be a mom. =) My body will not dictate this to me. (sorry girls kinda got issues with my body right now for not working right) Hope that didn't come across bitchy. You know where my heart is.
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Sorry Diem and K8 you are in the dumps. I am sooo with you girls. You are right this can be a very depressing journey. I can't wait to get to the support group and seek out connections with others like us that are trying and having a tough time. I promise to share all with you. Baby Dust and hugs!
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Lucky - That sounds like a great game plan. I hope it all works out for you. Diem - I am with you on being crabby. I was going to test tomorrow morning but I think I will wait until Tuesday which will be 14dpo. Af should be here by then. I guess I am not out until she is full blown. I guess its easier to say its over so your not to upset when she does come. I guess if she does come I still have my appt with my new doctor next Thurs. Well of to finish Desperate Housewives. ~~~~~~~~~~~~Baby Dust~~~~~~~~~*****HUGS******
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Thanks K8. I wish you the best sister. Hang in there and good job on waiting to test. I am thinking about you!!
Newmommy - congrats to being in the new house. I am thinking of you too girl.
Roxy? How are you? We haven't heard from you in awhile. Give us an update.
+++++++ BABY DUST++++++++
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Hi, girls. I'm with all of you and your frustrations. The drive "home" was terrible tonight. Raining like crazy, zero visibility, and crappy winshield wipers to match. I was on the road thinking "just get me home safely", and after a while, the rain let up, and I could finally see again. I distinctly thought, "thank you". THEN, it hit me: so why did I get what I asked for on the way home, but I can't get the one thing I ask for every single day? Why do I not have a baby right now???? I hope this doesn't sound too crazy, but it hit me so strongly. I almost said it out loud. I at least need the HOPE of a baby. What if I don't get pregnant again? I think that's the fear we all have. Lucky, I'm glad that you got to talk to your friend about what's been going on with you. I hope it will help her understand where your feelings are at, and at the very least, she'll understand if you're not there as much as you'd like to be. Give yourself time. k8--I hope you're not out of the running quite yet. I'm still rootin' for ya. I hope the witch stays away. Diem---I think this wait just to "o" may be even worse the the 2ww! It feels like wasted time, doesn't it??? DH and I got in some BD last night, and I was hoping to get in one last session today also, just in case. Instead, we installed a microwave range hood above the stove. Woohoo. ;-) Damn, we're sexy!!!! Now, take a deep breath, girls: tomorrow's Monday.....
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