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hey Holly. it's funny you said there's something in the moon that makes you get emotional...i swear i get that way too. i flipped out on dh on sunday over something stupid...i was yelling and crying because he didn't clean up the backyard like he said he would. i stopped after a while and was like, why the hell am i crying over the back yard not being cleaned up...so then i went and appologized for being a crazy lunatic. yeah, i'm just doing this to pay the bills too. i always wanted to be a neonatal nurse or a ultrasound tech...i just have to get caught up on my bills so i can start school. well, yesterday i had to go into a meeting with my boss (that i got into it with) and the human resource manager to talk about why i dont want to help out anymore. i basically told her i was promised a promotion before i even moved over to this office 6 months ago, and i've been helping out and i just dont like that they're making false promises to me and telling me i need to do more work and that i dont need the stress because it adds to my stomach problems. the human resource manager appologized about the false promises and said she'll work on getting me promoted. i dont know how long that will take, but i have an interview on sunday with another company and if they offer me better money than i'm going to go with them. i just hope this company has good insurance. is your daughter feeling better? i hope so because it sucks being sick. i stayed home on monday because i wasn't feeling well. how much longer will your dh be in school? if it's not to much longer, than maybe you guys can start setting everything up now so that when he's done with school you can start the iui. have you had a sperm analysis done on your dh yet? if so what were the results? because it's odd that nothings wrong with either of you and you cant get pg...it's weird how some people have unexplained fertility. it just makes me wonder why people cant get pg if there is nothing wrong with them. i guess that's God telling us he has something else in mind, huh? i'm sorry you had such a rough weekend...af can really get to you especially when you think she's not supposed to be coming to visit for a while. on the months i have sworn i was pg i have cried my eyes out when af showed up. dh doesn't get emotional, he just says something like, well there's always next month...which just makes me more emotional for some reason. i cant help it though...i finally start to think we did it and then af shows up. it's such a vicious cycle. well, that's good that the sleep over went well. yeah, sometimes i miss being able to have sleep overs and talk about the boys i liked and doing girly stuff too. i miss high school sometimes too...go figure, all i wanted to do when i was in school was get out and now i miss it. lol funny how life works out. hey i wanted to ask you-are you using an opk? if so what kind because i want to go buy a nice one and i cant decide between the microscope kind or the ones that are like pg tests. i bought cheapy ones from walgreens and i could never really tell if the one line was darker than the other, so i want some thing digital or the microscope kind. i just want to get pg this year so bad i am willing to do anything at this point. i never really wanted to do things like iui or ivf before, but now i'm at the point where i just want to have a baby and i am willing to do whatever it takes. i know God will give me a child when the time is right, but i'm going to see if there's anything i can do to speed things up. i think waiting for 2 yrs is long enough and i'm getting really impatient now. alright, well i'm going to stop writing my novel now and get back to work. i'll drop in later if i'm not to busy, otherwise i'll talk to you tomorrow. *~*baby dust*~*

bumpin us up there...

Hiya Dee.. sorry for the late response.. been busy at work today.. 1st day back and everything has to get done..geshh! As for the moon thing.. I really think that everyone can be effected by the moon.. May I ask what your sign is? I am a cancer and we are really emotional with the moon phases. I hear you about the work stuff. I feel like just leaving as they are not treating us secretaries very good at work.. we use to get every Friday off .. and it was paid for.. this was for a year.. and when one of the secretaries left they stopped doing that..that really ticked us off.. as we had planned in months our fridays. We have other employees talking behind our backs and just saying we don't do anything.. I don't like working in that kind of environment. So maybe it is time to look for something else soon. Hubby won't be done school until May 2007.. so I have a while to go. He just started school. Don't think we can afford the IUI until then.. hubby needs to get his wisdom teeth pulled.. all 4 and we don't have $1200 to get it done.. uhhhggggg I really hope life gets a bit easier and more things start to work out the way I want them to. I have not tried a OPK as of yet.. as the price on them is a bit pricey..so that will be our next big splurge.. hubbys sperm count was great.. nothing wrong with him.. so I figure it is because of stress and cysts.. sorry for my short novel..lol I have to get back to making dinner.. I am sooooo hungry.. I barely had time to eat today.. Hope to chat with you tomorrow. *~Baby Dust~*

hey there Holly! dont worry about not writing...i know about being busy from missing work. doesn't it suck when you miss a couple days of work and you come back and it seems like you missed a couple weeks?? i almost dont even like taking days off because i know when i come back it's going to be horrible. I'm a sagitarius, i was born on november 27th. i dont know a lot about astrology, but i would like to learn more. i had a friend who was a die-hard astrology nut-she knew everything so i always just asked her about stuff, but we dont talk anymore so now i know nothing. :o) a year and a 1/2 isn't that long to wait...i mean it kind of is since you've already had to wait 8 yrs, but 1 1/2 yrs isn't to far off. it will be here before you know it....hopefully you dont have to wait a year though and you get pg before this one is over. well, that's good that his SA came back good as well as your tests...at least that's 2 hurdles you've jumped over. wow, that sucks your dh has to get all 4 wisdom teeth pulled. i had mine pulled earlier last year and it wasn't as bad as i had expected. i had never been put under anesthesia before so i kind of had a little panic attack right before they started, but that was the worst of it. as long as you dont smoke for the first 2-3 days after and you rinse your mouth really well after every meal (and i mean really well) then it shouldn't be to bad. i only had 2 wisdom teeth, so i only got the 2 pulled, but i cant imagine it would be that much worse with an extra 2 teeth-plus they give you loratabs or percacets afterwards for the pain. as far as the opk's, i was looking into buying a cleablue easy fertility monitor because they tell you your low, high, and peak days (with a little egg), but everywhere i go they're $200 w/o sticks and i really want it but dont want to spend that kind of money. i was looking on e-bay and found some from $25-$215, but my computer at work wont let me buy anything (just look) and i dont have a credit card so i might just have to settle for a $200 one at the store. i really want to start using them because i know i dont always O on day 14 and it would be nice to get a 24 hour advance notice on my O...it might just make things a little easier. alright, well it's almost 5:00, so i have to get off now. have a great weekend and i will talk to you on monday! *~*BABY DUST*~*

Hi Dee.. hope that you are having a good weekend! My Friday really bugged me.. I had a workshop and the lady who was teaching was PG! She did not even look like it.. (well either did I) anyway.. she kept bringing this up in her workshop and it was driving me nuts! She came over to talk to our group and we started talking about kids etc.. and she asked if any of us planned to have more.. I said we have been trying for 8yrs.. kinda puts some people into shock.. but I mention that I have a wonderful 9yr old. That night we went and saw a film preview at one of the venues here and it was about the human body.. omg! once again it had to do with a PG woman!! I could not get away from it! My hubby knew right away that it would bug me and was worried.. if I wanted to leave we would have but daughter and hubby were watching the film.. good film but did not want to hear anything about pg ladies. My horoscope says that this year would be a good year to add to the family.. haa haa I will have to wait and see... My mother is getting on my nerves today too.. I am trying to tell her why work is so frustrating and why I am soooo stressed out that she does not hear what I am saying..!! do you know what I mean? She questions everything and if I tell her something that I have said before.. like eg: that I am working on a mural 9x12ft and I told her this in December and what it is for etc.. she asks..oh what is it for? what gala? Arrrggggghhhhh!!! I really some days think that I should not talk to her that much as she really is too caught up in her world and everyone else around her does not matter that much.. guess not much has changed since I was a child. And hubby is getting on my nerves.. I would say it was PMS but it is not even around that time at all! He just says the wrong things at the wrong time..I know that he is not trying to hurt my feelings but just needs to stick his foot in his mouth once and a while. I really have no idea why I am so cranky.. I am sorry.. I just feel not very happy lately.. My stomach gets so upset I feel like I am going to be sick. I want to wake up and feel wonderful and greet the day with happiness.. knowing that I am going to job that I am appreciated at.. we have the temp in who everyone is telling her how wonderful she is and what a good job she is doing etc.. and they are forgetting how hard I am working. I don't want them to tell me all the time but there is so much office politics going on right now that I have had enough! I don't want to hit burnout .. a lady at the workshop on friday said that it sounds like heading towards burnout..time to get a new job! (then hubby will get cranky and tell me that I never make up my mind) I am so sorry.. I am just really stressed out .. feeling depressed. I hope that you get pg this year.. 1.5yrs is a long time too.. sorry don't want to compare years.. we all are equal when it comes trying to get pg.. just others are frustrated for longer. Yeah.. hubby may go in for his teeth on wed.. but not to sure yet.. I dislike how much it is going to cost us.. but we get refunded.. glad to hear that they will give him something for the pain. Ouch $200 is expensive.. the one I was looking at was $98 .. Need to save up.. I really think that will be the next best step.. hope that you can get one too.. then we can compare and make sure that we are doing temps right. I don't own a credit card so I know how you feel. Ok enough of my book.. Talk to you on Monday.. I hope a good nights sleep helps me.. *~baby dust~*

bumping us up

hey, holly. sorry i have not been in here lately. i've been at home sick (not w/ a cold though). i'm appologizing in advance for to much info, but everytime i tried to go #2 nothing but blood has been coming out. so i had to see my gastroenterologist and now i have a colonoscopy scheduled on Valentines Day (the same day AF is due to arrive)-yay. :o( so i've been stressing and crying a lot for the past few days. i'm so scared right now...i just keep thinking i might have cancer or something and it's really freaking me out. dh keeps telling me not to stress until they figure out what's going on, but it's so hard not to think of what could possibly be wrong. anyways, i know what you mean about not being able to get away from everything that has to do with pregnancy or babies...it's like a ghost that haunts you where ever you go! it's like you have to walk around w/ a blind fold on so that you dont have it rubbed in your face every 5 minutes! i know it's probably kind of mean to think that way, but it's hard when you've been trying for so long with no luck. yeah, i know what you mean about your mom...i have a aunt that when i talk to her it seems like she is just waiting for me to pause long enough so she can start talking about what she wants to talk about and just totally ignores what i'm saying...i adore her but it's really frustrating. ooooh-hopefully your horoscope is right! i was reading something about how the moon affects your body and if you use the date and time you were born to see how the planets where aligned when you were born you can figure out when the best time you are able to get pg (or something like that). it seemed pretty interesting, but i dont know how true it is. wow, it sounds like you are about to burn-out with the way you explained how you feel! you should definitely try to find another job where you will be happier and less stressed out. it would help you in more ways than 1 because you will be less stressed and feel more like yourself again...and you might get pg finally with less stress. atleast weigh out the positive and negative with your current job and if the negatives out weigh the postitives then you know it's time to find a new job. so when do you think you will get a CBEFM? i want to get one soon, but i dont have much extra money right now. i would definitely like to be able to compare notes with you...especially since we know everything the other is going through. i love the fact that i can come on here and share everything with you and know you wont be negative about anything...just helpful and understanding. it's nice to know i have someone that understands and doesn't ask questions like "so why dont you guys try adoption"...boy i cant tell you how much i am tired of hearing that one! anyways, i hope things are going well for you. please pray with me that nothing is wrong and that everything goes well...i really need the support right now. thank you...i'll talk to you later.

just bumoin us up there....hope you're doing well.

Hi Dee, oh man.. I really hope that you are feeling better and that your dr
will be able to give you some answers. It is scary when we have no idea
what is going on. I hope dh has been good to you. I hope that my
horoscope is right.. I believe that things happen for a reason but we can
alter our future.. nothing is written in stone. Yeah.. I feel like I am burning
out.. when I am dreaming I am dreaming that I am so tired in my dreams..
lol is that telling me something?! lol I need less stress.. I need to wake up
every day and feel good about the day ahead and not feel blahhhhhhhh!! I
am hopping to get a OPK sometime next month.. hubby had to get his
wisdom teeth pulled on Wednesday.. (all 4) so we are really short some
money this month.. until we get refunded.. grrrr. and I am short on my
cheque do to a payroll problem and I have been on hold now for 15min...
uuhhhggg I need this fixed before the weekend. I am glad that I too can talk
to you and have you listen and actually understand .. it is a relief.. seems
that none of my family members want to talk about it. adoption is nice.. but
it is not the same as having your own flesh and blood... and being pg is the
best feeling.. there is nothing like it..I will pray for you that there is nothing
wrong.. and that you and your dh have a child this year.. you are a great
person.. I don't see there being anything major wrong with you :o)
Chat with you more later.. have a great Friday! *~Baby Dust~*

hey holly. yeah i really hope my dr can give me some answers to...i'm so nervous right now though. i just hope it's nothing bad. it's true everything happens for a reason...sometimes i just wish we knew what those reasons were. it would be so awesome if we both got pg around the same time because then we could go through our pregnancies together like we've been going through all of this ttc stuff. do you still remember all of your symptoms from your first pg or do you think that if you get pg this time that it will be like going through a first pg again? yeah, i think your dreams are definitely trying to tell you something! lol that sux your paycheck got messed up...i had that happen to me when i first started this job because they left out the 2 days of training i had the week before. they fixed it pretty quick though. yeah adoption isn't that bad, but like you said-it doesn't compare to being pg and having your own flesh and blood. i would be very greatful if i could just have 1 child...but it's been really hard just trying to do that. but i think i know what the problem is...dh has been sneeking cigarrettes behind my back, i found out the other day he's been smoking a whole pack a day again. i'm not very happy about it and i suggested hypnotherapy since he cant quit on his own and he laughed at the idea. so i got mad and asked him what he was going to do when we are pg? he said he's going to quit, so then i laughed at him and told him if you cant quit just so we can get pg, then how are you going to quit if we do manage to get pg? all he could say was, i'll quit. yeah right! lol i really wish he would quit because atleast that would give us an advantage. even though we haven't had any extensive tests done, i think dh has a low sperm count because i have looked up symptoms of pcos, endometriosis, and other stuff and i dont have any of the symptoms. so the only thing i can think of is him having a low sperm count from smoking so much. so i think i might ask my dr to do a vaginal ultrasound and if she doesn't see anything then i'm just going to send dh in for a SA so that i dont have to go through any painful/uncomfortable procedures just to find out he has a low sperm count. alright well i have to get back to work, so i will talk to you later. have a good friday!

bumpin us up again....

be back later today.. :o)

Dee.. how are you doing? What did the dr say? I really hope that you are ok. Still trying to figure out that everything happens for a reason thing.. One reason is I would not have you to talk to if I did not find this site.. you are great to talk to and I like knowing I am not alone.. I know that it is not the best thing in the world to happen though. I think if I get pg again that it wont be the same..lol my mother when she had me she was smaller.. when she had my sister she gained a lot of weight..so crossing fingers that everything works out for both of us.. I got my paycheck fixed so that is good..they messed up so they got right on it.. So did your hubby say he would try the hypnotherapy? That would be a good idea to try.. took me several times to quit smoking but I did it over five years ago.. will he get his sperm checked? That would really help.. Hubby and I went to the Dr today and they want to try me on Metfomin.. don't know yet... I am going to look it up on the net etc and check the boards.. I really am thinking about the vitex.. they also said we could try artificial insemination/clomid so that would be hundreds of $$$ less than IUI with superovulation.. they said that may work to.. don't know yet... will let you know what I am going to do.. thinking for a bit.. I hope that you and your hubby had a great Valentines day! mine was great.. hubby gave me flowers (had them sent to work.. ) orchids and mums.. (don't like roses) and a balloon..lol that stood out as really cute.. He made me dinner too.. except I feel bad as I fell asleep at 7:30.. I was not feeling great.. hope I am not getting sick.. I had an upset tummy for the morning and then a headache.. other family members have the flu so I am crossing my fingers... going to bed early tonight.. sorry took me a while to write.. I hope you had a great day!! ~*baby dust~*

hey Holly. things went ok at my dr.'s, but mostly it was just embarrasing to go through. they said i have several aggrivated hemroids that are rupturing (that was why i was bleeding), so they gave me some stuff to help and if they dont go away then i have to have surgery to have them removed. i'm mostly glad it wasn't something worse though. anyways, my hubby hasn't really gotten back to me on whether he'll do the hypnotherapy or not...i just hope he'll do something though because i want him to be healthier. he did say that he'll get an SA done, but that wont be for atleast a month because we have to wait for his insurance to kick back in. i've heard a lot of good things about Metformin, i mean every med has it's down sides, but as long as it doesn't do to you what the Clomid did (or worse) then it's probably worth it. i haven't heard much about Vitex...is that kind of like Clomid and Metformin? either way, if you really want a baby try everything that you can because some methods might work for you and some might not, but you wont know until you try. our bodies are all different so you might respond to a drug that i may not...so you have to try them to see what will work. maybe work out a plan where you'll try Metformin for 3 months and if that doesn't work try Vitex for 3 months and then if that doesn't work try the AI with Clomid for 3 months and somethings bound to work! i hope that something does work for you. Valentine's went alright besides having to go to the hospital. my dh has been working overtime for the last week so he didn't get home until around 7pm. i bought him a little gorilla holding a heart that says "i love you" on it and a card. we agreed to not really buy anything for eachother for V-day because we're going out of town this weekend on vacation and that's mostly our present to eachother. oooo, orchids are sooo pretty! that's so cool that he made dinner for you....unfortunately my hubby doesn't know how to cook unless it goes on the grill. :o) lol that sucks that you might be coming down with a cold...just start taking medicine now before it has a chance to really kick in. i went and bought my dh Nyquil, Dayquil, and cough drops because he's starting to come down with something too....i made him take a bunch of medicine and some vitamin c last night so i hope he gets rid of it now. well i'm on cd 32 and no af yet, but i do have cramps today so she'll probably be here soon. :o( i just dont know why it's so late this month...usually i'm only like 2-3 days late and now i'm 4 days late so who knows. i feel like she's coming, but if she's not here by the end of this weekend i'm taking a test. i'm trying to restrain myself from buying them this time because we're trying to save money...but it's soooo hard!! i have a Walgreens right across the street from where i work and i feel like it's calling me to come in there and buy 1! lol so i just figure if i can hold out until i'm like 6-7 days late then i have the right to go buy one. :o) alright well i'll talk to you later. works slow right now so i'll be in and out of here all day. talk to you later!

bump....

Hi Dee.. wow our post is getting longer again.. glad to hear that nothing completly serious was going on with you.. it still is something but nothing major.. I think Vitex is more natural.. from what I have been reading about Metformin I don't think I want to take it.. feeling sick to the stomach and direah are not something that I want on a daily basis.. won't work while I am working.. can't have sick time at work. I hope that you and your hubby are feeling better..I feel better today.. have a day off.. Family day today so no work... thank goodness. I will be dealing with a pile of poop at work tomorrow.. do not like my job very much right now. So did AF show up? I have had really sore BBs the last couple days so maybe AF may show up soon.. 32 days so maybe on time for once..lol I want to go buy a test but am holding back.. ahrrrgggg takes a lot of strength ..lol Hope you had a wonderful weekend and did not get hubbys cold... *~baby dust~*