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eb- things aren't going well here. Dh said he is done trying - he only wants to try naturally and that is it. There is no compromising or anything. He doesn't want to do injectibles because I could get cancer or we could have multiples. Doesn't want to do ivf because we would be messing with God. Doesn't want to adopt - he doesn't want to be responsible for raising someone elses kid. Needless to say he has made all the decisions and my feelings don't matter. I would love to compromise and say fine, no injectibles, no ivf, but lets adopt. I am pretty much at my wits end - I feel that there is nothing more I can say or do to make him change his mind. How did you decide to separate for awhile? Was it a mutual decision? He pretty much said it was his way or the highway for me.... why does life have to be so difficult?

Oh Jamie, sorry things aren't going well for you. When my dh and i seperated it was my decision. It was very hard, but in the end I think it helped. There were sooo many things that weren't going right between us and had caused such a strain on on relationship. I realy ttc was a major factor for both of us. If you remember, he really didn't like the idea of iui's , and i was really tired of the way the meds made me feel. I know how important this is to you and it will be a hard situation. Only you can decide what is right for you and how best to handle this situation. I'll keep you in my prayers and I hope i've helped.

sorry for the type errors!!!

Thanks eb. I honestly don't think our marriage is going to last. He is very set on that we are done trying. I can't imagine my life without him or my stepson but on the other hand I think I will end up resenting him for making the final decision. There are so many other things wrong in our relationship and I realize now that I cannot change him. He says that I am obsessive and nothing is ever good enough for me. Maybe he is right - maybe he deserves better than me.... I am just so scared, lost, confused. We have said so many hurtful things to each other - i don't think it will ever be the same. He agreed to go to counseling but I don't think it will help - he already said he isn't going to change. Maybe I am selfish but I am only 28. I had a miscarriage in July - I know it can happen. He said to me tonight that I cannot have kids - and to deal with it. I don't think he can make that statement when we aren't trying all of our options. I am already starting to resent him - he says he resents me already for doing the last two iuis when he didn't really want to. I am sorry I am rambling on, but I think you are the only one who understand a little of what I am going through. So how are you feeling? Thanks again for being here!!

Help eb!! I am so nervous right now. I finally poured out all of my feelings about everything to my sister-in-law. She then told my dh's brother because she cannot believe the way he is acting - there is a lot more going on than just the ttc issue. So right now dh is on the phone with his brother talking about this. I am beginning to wonder if telling them was a good idea. I guess I was just so desperate for someone to get through to dh - and the only one other than me would be his brother. He would listen to him before anyone else. I couldn't wait for my counseling appointment - they have canceled on me twice now and I can't wait around for them to get their act together. Well I will keep you posted. I guess if he gets mad and doesn't get this after talking to his brother then he will never get it.

Sorry to hear things aren't any better Jamie. I so know what your going through. I was just there myself, hell I even saw the lawyer, ect. Hang in there. As far as resentment , I understand that to b/c I just didn't think my dh understood how important it was to me b/c he had a child and I resented him for that, and I didn't know if I could be in their lives if I couldn't have a child of my own. TTc adds a lot of stress to any relationship, so give it alot of thought and make the best decision for you, whatever that may be. I hope your dh does a 360 like mine. Keep me posted. I am feeling fine, glad to have a break for a little while from school.

Thanks eb! You are truly the only one who really understands how I feel. As much as I love my stepson, I don't think I can continue knowing that dh will not allow us to continue to try and conceive. I know that is probably selfish of me and all but I am only 28 - he is 41. I am not ready to through away my hopes of having a baby - for anyone....I honestly believe if we cannot come to sort of agreement - an agreement that in the end will ultimately result in a baby - I am going to have leave. I just cannot deal with this. I feel too young and have too many options left to just give up now. He is still out there talking - I am sure that everything is my fault and I am the crazy, obsessive one (as he told me last night).

Your far from crazy or obsessive . It's most womens dream to have their own children, and you have to have faith that it will. I sure hope things work out for ya'll.

Well whatever my brother in law said worked. Dh is willing to go to counseling with me. We have decided to put off ttc until after Christmas. He has agreed to do a round of injectibles then. If that doesn't work we will just try on our own. I thought about it last night and we never tried on our own after I went on the metformin. So who knows. I feel a lot better about things. We talked late into the night last night - and it was the first time we actually just talked about this without fighting. Thanks again for being here. I am hoping that this will work out for us. I am willing to try and he is now willing to try too. I just think that this whole ttc things has consumed us to the point that is was ruining our marriage. I am actually kind of looking forward to not trying for a few months. So how are things with you? It must be nice to have a break from school. I know that was stressful for you and you definitely don't need that being pregnant.

eb - I wanted to let you know that I would like to continue talking to you on here. Even if we are not trying right now I would still like to keep in touch. I want to hear all about your baby and don't want to miss out!! I will still check in on our thread but I also don't have a problem e-mailing either. My e-mail address is [email protected]

I'm so glad you and dh talked things out. My best advice is to relax and enjoy each other and you never know what might happen. Look at me. We were just emjoying each other and trying was not on our mind. So, maybe that will work for you to. I would love to keep in touch. Let me know if you still have my email or need it again.

Hi Jamie, Had my first ultrasound today. They saw the baby and a heartbeat and could also hear a heartbeat but it was around 88 beats per min and they prefer it over 130. So I go back in 1 week to have another ultrasound. I'm alot nervous and hope everything is fine. So, for now all i can do is pray. I hope things are going well for you.

I will be praying for you. I am sure everything is fine though. Things are still going well here. We are just focusing on our relationship and trying to relax and have fun. It has been really nice actually. I go on Wed. for my first counseling session. I am looking forward to it. So you aren't working right now right? How long are you going to be off? Stay positive and keep in touch.

Thanks for the encouraging words. I'm still feeling great just nervous and trying not to think about it. I am not sure that i'm going back to work. It's going to depend on how i feel and our finances. I'll keep you posted.Glad things are going well for you and dh.

Hi Jamie, my dr's appt didn't go as well as i had hoped. The baby has grown, but the heart rate hasn't changed or has gotten weaker they said. They told us to stay optimistic, but to prepare for the worst. My heart sank, and i cried all day. Today i'm feeling fine, praying alot and holding on to hope that things will work out and that i just have a stubborn little one. I go back on this Mon to be rechecked. Whatever it takes!!! How are things with you?? I'll check back in soon.

eb - I am sorry that your news wasn't any better. I have been thinking about you a lot and praying that things go well for you. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better - just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Don't give up - there is still hope. Things are going well here - things are great with dh and I. We go for counseling together next Wed. I am looking forward to it. I am actually waiting for af to show up -so far nothing....Keep me posted and take care!!