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Georgia- I just wanted to say hey. I test on the 6th too. I triggered on the 21st and had the IUI on the 22nd. How are you feeling? I understand the $$! This was our first cycle, and insurance pays for nothing. Anyway, I hope all of you find comfort in your losses. I am sorry. I cannot even imagine what some of you have been through. Good luck to all of you testing soon. These past 10 days have seemed so long!

well after 12 days of stopping my progestrone, i am finally starting to spot. Hopefully this will be over quickly, without too much pain. my hubby has another semen analysis next friday the 18th, and depending on the results we will talk to the doc about other possible ttc opinions. i may be a little quiet on the boards during this time, please keep me in your prayers, hopefully i'll be back ttc soon.

oh and goodluck to all the ladies in the 2ww. I hope you have good news to report soon.

Hey girls - sorry I was on vaca for a week, but I wanted to check-in and say hey! Saint - you are so strong, and I'm definitely praying for you that this is over quickly and painlessly so you are able to grieve and try again. Good luck to you and everyone. lydeats - how are you hun? I'm doing well - 25.5 weeks now...I'm approaching the 3rd trimester. I'm super excited, but getting a little nervous about labor and being ready for the baby. No complaints, just a few nerves here and there. Mem and zoey - I'm so excited for you two girls too!! How far are you now Zoey? I hope you are both feeling well... And, Vicky and Aly - how's it going?

ladies, i really need some advice from those of you who might have some knowledge on the subject... right now i am a mess, my sad story is now worse. let me please share a part of the nightmare i have been going though for the past few days. i will keep the more graphic details out, as not to offend anyone.... 1st thing, kasier informed me that the gestational sac would be in pieces, disenergrated due to the fact that it had been in for so long... well turns out they were wrong, i was not expecting what happened. i passed a huge sac about 4 inches in lenght. it was by far the most painful expierence ever, and no the motrin they said would work did absolutly nothing. so after that was out, i was glad that it was over, my levels dropped to 2,500 and i was begining to cope with the loss of a baby that in my doctors words (was never there) as cruel as that sounded it got me through it. having to imagine that there was a baby was just too hard as i was miscarring. even if there was a baby, they told me it stopped developing very very early on. i was told this at every visit for a month. so i made it though it, as it was very difficult and very painful. i took the "remains" to kaiser to be tested, and thankfully they took it and sent it. well i thought it was over, but last night things went really really bad. i felt something down there and when i looked, i saw my baby. granted it didn't look perfect, but it was about an 1inch to 2 inchs in lenght, with a sac attached to it (presumably the yolk sac) although the features weren't defined. i could clearly see a head, along with a back rounded out at the bottom, with a leg bud knee and arm. ( it was on its side) needless to say i freaked out. very very badly. they told me there was no baby for weeks, 3 doctors scanned me, 1 nurse, they told me they saw nothing. it was an empty sac. they looked down on me when i clung to every little bit of hope that i had left. yes my numbers stabled off at a low number (27,900) but it is on the very low side of what can be considered normal. i told them about my tilted uterus, they told me it didn't matter. i truely had a baby in there. and they never saw him. for months i had felt stupid for talking to my baby, planning for it, being sick with nausea, only to be told i wasn't really pregnant, just with "an empty water sac" as you can see i am beyond devisted. i went around thinking there was a little baby, and told no i am worng, there is no baby, and when i finally came to terms with it, when i finnaly let go of the shread of hope that i had been clinging too for months, i see my baby. needless to say i am an emotional wreak. who knows what would have happened, maybe my baby had problems and was going to be miscarred anyway, but now i am living with the guilt for stopping my meds, not going to shady grove for an u/s ( they caneled my appt) shady grove said that chances are the baby seperated from the gestational sac as it was coming out, thats why it happened it 2 separate incidents. as to why kaiser didn't see it, thats a quesiton for them. i need to have them send this in for testing. then after they do that i am going to demand some answers.

sorry my post was so long, but thank you to those who still read it.

well i just got back from kasier... i spent the whole car ride trying to convince myself that maybe i am seeing things that its just a funny shaped clot, but upon further examination, i found the baby's other arm and hand. so there was no doubt in my mind then. so i take it up to obgyn, and the nurse said the doc has to look at it, b/c he might not send it to be tested. i just begged her, to please for my own sanity please, i need to know what happened. well she came back out and said that he will send it for testing. i think a chomosome study. btw... he has admitted that yes that is a baby, no doubt about it. :( as to why he never saw it on u/s i get to talk to him about it next tuesday.

im sorry to be going on and on, but i have no one to talk to. i just looked online about the measurements of embryos from crown to rump and mine measures a little over 9 weeks. i feel tremendous guilt. i stopped taking the progestrone at 9 weeks. and my baby turns out to measure approatly for 9 weeks. so how can it be possible that my baby just stopped developing, wouldn't it also stop growing too??? i am so confused and sad about this whole thing.

SaintRose, I'm sooo sorry to hear this. I can't imagine how traumatized you are. Try not to feel guilty, because you couldn't have known. You put your trust in your dr., which is all you could have done. I don't know what to tell you, but the tests should definitely be able to tell you more. From what I understand, if your HCG levels weren't going up properly, there more than likely was something wrong with the fetus. If there was a problem with the fetus, it probably would have miscarried eventually, with or without progesterone. Also, a lot of drs. say that it's ok to stop the progesterone around 8 weeks, because the placenta although not working completely, has begun to take over, so you stopping may not have contributed to the loss at all. Also, keep in mind, that even if the baby measured what it should have, it may not have been healthy. As hard as this is, you've worked so hard and waited so long, that you'd definitely want a healthy baby at the end of it all. I hope you can get some answers. You're in my thoughts.

Saint - I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how devastated you are right now. I agree wholeheartedly with what babee said. This is not your fault....you have to trust in your docs. You did what we all would have done. And, I truly hope you can get some answers from your docs when you meet with them. Also, I agree with what babee said about progesterone - again it's not your fault. I've definitely heard that stopping progesterone at 8 weeks is considered fine because the placenta starts to take over then. And. I've also heard that progesterone can delay a miscarriage that is going to happen. If your baby wasn't healthy, taking the progesterone may have just delayed the inenvitable. I'm so sorry if that sounds harsh. I don't mean for it to. I'm just so sorry that you are going through all of this, including the physical pain, but more importantly, the emotional pain. You will pull through this, and hopefully you will get some answers as to what really happened. Please try to remember though that this is not your fault, no matter what. You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.

I'm so devastated by Reading this Saint I have been tearing as I read your story, I just can't belive it!!! I'm so sorry honey you don't know how much I wish I can give you a hug, I just don't know what to say... I agree with Babee and Kimmer about the progesterone honey you are not at fault here you are the victim, but yes the progesterone will not prevent a mc but it will just delay it..I think once you get the results of your baby you can finally have some answers as to why and what happened..What I don't understand and pisses me off is how the hell they did not see the baby in any of the U/S???!!! you had even mantion to them about tilted uterus and still they did nothing about it and stacked to their story about nothing beeing in there, Clearly something was in there!!! When you feel better please don't let this go demand answers as to why they did this, I just can't believe that if you are able to see your baby on the outside that they didn't ever with an u/s..Honey please be certain that this is not by any means your fault, you put yourself and baby on the trust and hands of supposely experts that know what they are doing, and this is the unfortunate outcome of this..I know I have been there honey I put my self and Daughter in the hands of Drs thinking they were going to do everything right by me and at the end at the very end they killed my Daughter they took her life from the very beginning...If theres something I learned about my sad tragedy is to never, ever trust your Drs 100% and to always, always listen and follow your heart and instincts despite what the Drs tell you... Honey I know is too soon to talk about the next time, but when you do decide to ttc again and when you do get prego again which I know you will get prego again soon, Please always , always make sure that in all U/S you get to see the monitor and have them point everything out for you and explain what everything is, always make sure you see things yourself in every appmt and make them, yes Make them spent quite sometime looking at everything in there with the u/s machine and if you have doubts or concern don't walk out with out addressing them first and without a reasonable explanation and answer with proves backing up what they are saying...I have learned tha hard way and I'm tellng you I personally will be a EXUSE MY LANGUAGE, but I will be a total Bitch with my next OB bc I am going to make sure that they do right by me and my next baby and I'm going to make sure that I'm beeing heared and dealt with the right treatments and means.. Honey As hard as this is now , this will make you stronger and this will never happen to you again....I'm thinking of you honey and if you ever,ever need me you know how to reach me, I will be here for you as well as the rest of the ladies in here...Hang in there honey you have come so far , don't give up now , specially not now......Please, Please let us know what they find out about your Baby.....

SaintRose, I am so so so terribly sorry that this is happening. I would have tons of questions the same as you. Bless your heart. I am thinking about you and sending prayers up for you. I wish there was something I could say but just know I care and will be thinking about you.

Thank you all for being so caring and understanding. Destiny, yes I am going to demand answers. It was very hard not to go into the doctors office when I dropped off the remains and yell and scream about how they could have missed this, but I was afraid that if I did that they wouldn't send it to be tested or say they did and it must have gotten lost in the mail, or something. I wouldn't put it past them, they have done shady things before. Especally now seeing how 4 doctors were clearly wrong, I would be afriad they would try to cover it up. So on Tuesday I will talk to one of the doctors (he is giving me an exam, although I really don't want to be anywhere near him seeing how he was one of the doctors who told me there was no baby) and ask him what the hell is going on with him and 3 other doctors in his practice. Believe me I am no where done with this. As for seeing the screen, I saw it all 4 times, and yes it appeared to be empty. Next time I'll have to grab the wand and do that for them too, because ovbiously they did not know what they were doing. I hope I get some answers with the testing they are doing, but honestly either result will be hard. If they find out soemthing is wrong, doesn't that make it more likely that it will happen again?? so I don't want that, but if they say everything was fine, I will know that a perfectly healthy baby died and it could have been prevented, and that I don't know if I can handle. Its really hard, maybe with some answers I an have some closure. Oh, question, our genetic blood testing on my dh and I came back normal, so does that mean there is nothing seriously wrong with either of us?? So even if there was something geneticlly wrong with the baby, it won't necessar;y happen again.