Spiritual question to ponder...
14 Replies
Filmmaker24 - February 24


Has anyone ever wondered why some people who end up harming their newborns are able to have them in the first place, whereas couples who have a loving home and would make great parents can't seem to conceive if their lives depended on it? I know life is not fair, but it's got to make you wonder sometimes. My wife wondered why I even tried to have any hope for a child near the end of our frustrating time of trying to conceive. My argument is this: if God allowed a virgin--mind you, a virgin--to get pregnant and her cousin Elizabeth who was beyond her years for child bearing to conceive as well, why doesn't He allow people who would make great parents to conceive? I know this is a spiritual matter, but I think everyone has a right to ask this. Something to think about.


jg - February 24

I know how you feel, but this is what the Bible says about the matter. It goes right back to Adam and Eve. They were made perfect and put in the "Garden of Eden", but as you probably know disobeyed God and became imperfect humans, sinners who would pass on sin and death to their children. When they disobeyed God by eating from the "Tree of Life" in the Garden of Eden, they challenged Gods "right to rule". At that time, God gave Satan the Devil authority over the world to prove that Satan the Devil, and humans themselves are not capable of ruling the world without Gods help. We see this every day, right? War, famine, children being disobedient to parents, nations warring against nations, inter-country battles and wars, terrorism, crime etc etc. But the Bible promises that God will step in at His appointed time to take back rulership of the world and to put an end forever to Satan and his Demons, bringing the world back to a perfect state as He originally purposed. And the matter of His "right to rule" will be proved. TRUST ME, I know how you feel. My dh and I TTC for five looooooong years. We went through every procedure possible to try and make our dream happen. It did happen by the way, naturally!?! TTC was the most heartbreaking time of my life. There were times I blamed God, when I thought the exact same things as you. But you know, as soon as I became pregnant those feeling lessened. It ISN'T fair that young kids with no idea and no means to raise a child become mothers. It still kills me to think of the hopelessness for the little lives that these kids bring into the world. But..........it's not Gods fault. It's easy to blame Him for every upset that we experience, but most do not thank Him or give praise to Him and glorify Him for the things that DO go right for us. The scriptures tell us to KEEP ON asking, to PRAY INCESSANTLY that the things we hope for might happen. Just because they don't happen in OUR expected time frame does not mean that those things will not happen at all. And when you hold your own child in your arms, you appreciate the love God has for us - the miracle of life that is gifted to us. WOW sorry for making this SO long. But something to ponder, eh? :-)


LN030905 - February 24

Wow..well done, jg! I could not have said it any better. Filmmaker, we all feel this way..but ya know what..as a strong christian, knowing that Gods timing is perfect and that he has a reason for evrything..gives me comfort. I dont understand..and no, I dont like it..I have a really ahrd time with it sometimes, but I know God wants what is best for me and whatever happens is for the best. Be strong..and I will be praying for you and your wife! BTW, Thanks JG, I needed to hear that.


wantanotheraftertr - February 25

Film I sometimes think that those are the people who are ment for a bigger purpose ie... To adopt a child that may have problem or special needs because these are the ones who average people ditch and and decide they can't handle it. I think God knows what he's doing and this is what I think about and believe it sure makes it easier. God bless you


linds99 - February 25

I've seen you post a few times, and I sense a big feeling of despair and sadness. I feel that for myself as well, ttc and nothing. I just want to say that life sometimes throws us rocks that are big and hard and knock us down, or we get thrown little pebbles. Regardless of the size of rock, getting hit always seems to hurt. So I have learned that we need to choose our battles in life, and this is one battle I am willing to try every medical means out there that there is to try to make this happen, regardless of how bad they hurt, and see if we are able to be blessed that way. If not, then I know for sure I won't have regrets that "I didn't try hard enough..." and living with regrets is always worse then living with none. Also, I think I have become more resiliant, meaning, those darn pebbles that are thrown at me don't hurt as much as they did before we were ttc, we are soooo much stronger! (And I think I can take on the biggger rocks now!!) Good luck and don't give up! Keep trying and trying and trying. I read before you wanted to take all your money and travel, etc. and spend it on yourselves, you can do that, but I would still live your life and ttc (if that makes sense)...meaning don't hold off on doing other things that would make your life happier...you should travel, etc...but you should also hold ttc as a battle in your life you are poised to win too and over come...it doesn't have to be one or the other.


Blakey - February 25

It is hard to understand why things happen....As you said Film, good loving people, who re trying so diligently to have a baby, will spend all of their money, in hopes of conceiving a miracle...and yet, others who have no problem at all. I often wonder also, and that'swhen I get spiritul. I would like to beleive that God has a plan for all of us, and sometimes some of us have to try harder for things, why? I don't know...but maybe we will understand someday. I know it doesn't make it any easier, it is such a difficult road..beleive me. My husband and i have been trying for a fe years now, and we are older. Sometimes I feel, it's my fault, and we should have triedwhen we were younger. We had a long distance relationship, he was from Toronto, I was from Boston. We had a 4 year long distance relationship. When we were finally married in 1995, I was 29, and we honestly wanted to enjoy being with each other for a few years before trying to conceive. It was so wonderful being together everyday, and not having to say goodbye anymore, we loved, and enjoyed our time. Then my dear Mother was ill, and I couldn't stop thinking about her...she passed,and it was a healing period. Then all of a sudden I was 36 saying, I need to start focusing on this!! We tried for a couple of years on our own, and nothing happened . Went to a feritliy clinic, had all my tests done, I found out I had endometriosos, and my husband found out recently he had a vericocele, and low count. We didn;t know about his factor, until after 3 iuis, that failed, and the count was always low. He was sent to a specialist, who told us about the vericocele. HJe opted not to have surgery, for at 43, their was no guarentee it would work..so we have been doing IVF/ICSI cycles. Just finhsed our full cycle of #2, really # 3 but, last cycle was cancelled. Anyway, I am sorry I go off track....but I guess, I am saying that sometimes I feel if we hadn't waited so long. But, we weren't ready then. I hope that God is watching over all of us..and that we will all be able to experience being parents someday soon!! I am sorry for your frustrations Film, we feel the same way,...Life dosen't seem fair sometimes..but keep beleiving, it will happen!!! Warm regards,


Filmmaker24 - February 26

To everyone who responded,

I have to admit that I was hesitant to read any of the responses I was going to get to my post. I feared I might get slammed with things like "who do you think you are?" accusations or the like. But, I was quite relieved and reassured to get the responses which came. I'm so glad all of you agree life is not always fair and things do go awry. Well, after reading everything I can honestly say I do count the blessings in my life: loving, devoted wife, nice little home, two kitty cats, good jobs, etc. This baby situation has just been the one heart wrenching stake in our lives. Well, thanks to everyone who responded. I do feel better now. Despite my wife saying because of her age of 42 now it's physically impossible for her to conceive, I want to believe it can still happen. I've heard of women older who did it. I'll try not to give up and to just relax about it--and get her to do the same. It just feels good to vent on here. Thanks for everyone's time to read, and care. :-) We'll keep praying.


angelkitty - February 26

Filmaker....one of my friends was 42 and got pregnant last year. She was 43 when she gave birth. Things are great with mom and baby. It will happen for you!!!


addie1717 - February 26

I've wondered the same thing...I have 2 friends that have had abortions and have children now and expecting...and I also have another friend who just had a baby and she does not even believe in God! Does not make sense!!! I feel you!!!


lovemy3 - February 27

I too have also wondered how come sometimes non-believers are blessed with babies and have no faith in God whatsever and don't even claim too. For me, I have come to the conclusion, God uses big things like baby blessings to catch their attention as He loves to have His lost back. Sometimes with non beleivers it takes the big things to make them search for Him.


angelkitty - February 27

Well said Lovemy3 - well said!!!!


wendi98 - February 27

I grew up in a Christian home and went to a Christian school. My husband and I have been ttc for over 6 years now and I still ask myself that question every day. I don't understand why God gives children to people who end up putting their baby in a trash can or beat them or pen them up like animals, etc. I don't know if I ever will. Everyone tells me that he has his reasons and if it is meant to be it will be - those answers are so hard to accept!! I am 30 and I know I am still young and have some time, but after 6 years of trying and the frustrations and hurts, it drains you to the point that you want to give up and there is no more will power to continue to try - it seems like there is no hope. As much as I keep trying to tell myself that it is all in His timing, I still have a hard time accepting it. I am trying to learn patience as well. Don't give up... pray every day and know that God does answer prayers, just sometimes not how we want them answered, unfortunately.


Blakey - February 28

Hi film
I posted on sunday (Blakey) I found out yesterday I am pregnat. We have had a long road also, and I am still in disbelief. I am 41. My sister was 42 when she had her 1st, and beleive this...47 when she had her 2nd. It will happen for you both, it will. We kept trrying, and after my 2nd full IVF attempt (it would have been 3rd, but last cycle was canncelled)- we finally got good news. We have overcome a lot of hurtles trying to conceive our 1st baby, and I am still in disbelief. I do beleive in the power of prayer, and I am thankful I had a lot of people sending prayers out to God. Please keep beleiving, ....Dream really do, and will come true for you and your wife!!!!!! all the best to you both.



MsMonet - February 28

Filmmaker-I totally understand what you are saying but then I can also see the flip side of it. I was born to my parents over 30 something yrs ago. I was sexually abused by them for many yrs. It started when I was 3 or 4 yrs old. (Yes, they are my birth parents.) But I turned out to be the complete opposite of my parents... I am a very caring and compassionate person who is especially sensitive to those who have gone through in life. So, a positive came out of a negative situation. Unfortunately, we can't pick our parents or our walk in life. But I am pushing fwd and hoping to create a wonderful life... All things are possible if we have faith!!!


MsMonet - February 28

wendi-never give up on anything in life. there were many times that i wanted to give up on my life but did not. i drew closer to God an he transformed me. never give up!



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