11 Replies
Star - July 9

I have been told that if we want a child we need to do IVF. I feel that if God does not want me to have a baby at this stage of my life, why should I do IVF? I have heard of stories of people going on IVF and then falling pregnant naturally in the end. I would like other womans opinion on this as I'm torn... faith or medicine??


Justine - July 9

Star - It's totally a personal choice. We were told we couldn't have children naturally and needed to do IVF-ICSI due to male infetility. The doctors said our chances of having a baby without ICSI were very, very slim but in England they have a policy to never say never these days. You could tell though they think it will never happen naturally. I was terrified of doing IVF but we desperately wanted a child so I agreed to do it once. I decided we could always try naturally for a second - we want two but the most important thing to us is to have one. It worked first-time and I have no regrets that I did it. The IVF clinic told me that it was very sad that many of the women it treats leave it too late before getting IVF (38+) and the chances IVF will work for them are very, very low and the clinic believes most of them will end up childless. It's so sad because these women would be brilliant mothers. Some couples told they are infertile do manage to conceive naturally and if you are young - in your 20s you can afford to wait and try naturally. IVF does however allow many couples who would 50 years ago remained childless like us to have children but its a personal choice and you must find what is right for you. Good luck.


Liz - July 9

My husband and I were told that we had unexplained infertility. We tried to have children for 11 years. In the early 90's you had to exhaust all avenues before IVF. We tried IVF first when I was 33 - success a beautiful son. Then we tried again when I was 36 - another beautiful son at 37. I am now 24 weeks pregnant with a naturally conceived child to whom I will give birth when I am 39!! I believe that God works in mysterious ways and I am truly thankful for our blessings. Do what feels right for you. I must admit that my first round of IVF was truly under protest because I felt like a failure. However two cycles of IVF and two pregnancies made me realise that my body was trying to tell me something that my mind couldn't cope with. Good Luck.


Justine - July 9

P.S. If anyone is over 38 and trying some clinics have high success rates with this age group (20%). My clinic did not (only 6% a cycle) but if you get a good clinic you can get a baby. Good luck to anyone trying!


merlee - July 9

Star, I am having the same feelings. I'm glad you asked, I have needed someone to talk to about this exact thing. I don't want to offend anyone with my views, who has chosen fertility drugs as their route to pregnancy, but I just can't do it. I have weighed all of the pros and cons for me and DH and have decided that IUI and IVF is not for us. I feel that I personally would be giving up on God giving me a baby if I did IUI. I do not feel that others are, everyone has their own relationship with God and He is guiding them to their path and me to mine. I believe that He has given me signs that I will not succeed with IUI and that He wants me to let time work things out. I am 37 and feel like I am running out of time, but I still trust God. Sometimes I feel this is foolish, and that I should just go to RE and get clomid and IUI (which I have been told is my next step). But then I get another sign from God. I keep going back and forth. We have been ttc for 2.5 yrs and still waiting. I have been researching and using herbs for the last 6 mo. I think it is an individual choice, so you should just go to God in prayer and ask what He wants you to do and I believe He will let you know. Just be open to His answer. Thank you for letting me express my opinion. ~~Baby Dust~~~


Anna - July 9

Hi! I think your question is very interesting and I'd like to add my thoughts. I think that every person needs to make their own choice concerning concieving naturally or with help. It really is a personal decision that only you can feel comfortable with in the end. But why separate God and medicine? It is God working through doctors and medicine to save peoples lives and do incredible things. So why not with pregnancy, too? It's only through Him that good things happen. I believe that He works through fertility drugs and IVF treatments to allow people to have children and give them the chance to be parents. I don't think that having these treatments means that we don't have faith in God-for some, this is a last resort and they have to trust God that whatever happens is meant to be. Sometimes, it's God's way of helping along those who are struggling. And I'm sure that anyone who now has a little bundle of joy due to IVF doesn't regret it. Thanks, for letting me express my thoughts and good luck with your decision!


Beth - July 9

I also have faith in God, but also believe he provides ways for us through other people. Here's a story, and I'll try to remember most of it: there was a bad storm that was causing a lot of flooding, and unfortunately a person was left on a rock, and was waiting on God to rescue them. All of a sudden, a boat came by, and offered a helping hand. The person refused, because they were waiting for God to rescue them. A little more time came by, and a helicopter came overhead, offering a ladder. The person again refused, waiting for God to stop the rain so they could go home. Soon after, the person ended up drowning, because God never saved them. When they got to heaven, they asked God why didn't he rescue them. He replied: I sent you a boat and a helicopter, you refused them both. I tried to rescue you, you just didn't see it. Man. When I first heard that story, it really makes you think about things. Maybe you can't get pregnant with the conventional ways, but God has another way for you to try. My cousin had to try other ways, and it worked, and they have a beautiful daughter to thank God for. God provides in strange and wonderful ways. I think we should use the ways he has to offer, even if it's not him specifically planting the seed the "conventional" way. But it's up to you. I hope you like my story.


merlee - July 10

Beth, I have heard that story before, and it is very appropiate here. I am glad that everyone is being very delicate with this topic, it is very much a part of my life - this decision. I thank you all for your input. But I pray that God will help me to conceive and guide me to the path He wants me to take. I do not feel that I am closed to the suggestion of medical help, if it comes from God. But every time I think of making the appt for the IUI, I get sick to my stomach and can't breath. I know it is the wrong path for me. But When I think of when I finally get that bfp, I get tingly, and light headed, and excided, like I know it will be the best thing that could happen. Believe me, I struggle with this every day!! Thank you for listening and not judging.


Beth - July 10

It sounds to me like you already have your answer. I'm sure God has his plan for you. You just don't know what all it is yet. :)


Jill - July 11

I believe that God allowed man to discover this technology for a reason. Look at it this way, if you aren't meant to have a baby, it doesn't matter what you're on or what you do. I figure, it can't hurt to try it. If it doesn't work, you're still in the same boat you're in right now. And if it does, you're where you want to be.


Kelly C - July 11

Hi ladies, I would like to share also. I believe that God is sovereign and from the foundation of the world He knows who will be born and by what means it will happen. Even if you try IVF if it is not in God's plan you will not conceive. The Bible states the following: "I am your Creator. You were in my care even BEFORE you were born." (Isaiah 44:2a - CEV)You are not an accident. Thanks for letting me share and baby blessings to all :)


merlee - July 12

Kelly C, thank you so much for that. It really helps me. Maybe God lead me to this site and Star asked this question b/c someone out there was God's messenger to me. Thank you all soo much



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