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Hi Girls : ) Sorry for the delayed respond .. stuck with work through the weekend at the office : ( How's are you girls doing : ) Oh COL .. Sorry Af showed up : ( DON'T SAY THAT ... "YOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE MEANT TO BE A MOM" : ( Like you always say only God knows and we should just leave it God : ) And you have been totally busy for the past weeks moving to your new apartment and all, it's just stress. I hope your new place will bring you good luck : ) COL ... read Marranie's story (she responded to me from the "Pregnant Over35" board) she is pregnant and she not only over35 but over40 ... she is 43 and she will be due in a few of weeks : ) Most of the time ... things happen when you least expected : ) I'm a walking proof ... I didn't think I could get pg the last after trying for months. We are all ... just to uptied on getting pg and we should consistently remind each other to relax : ) Don't you think : ) Val - Sounds ... very promising to me you may just get that positive this cycle. Pray you get that BFP this cycle : ) You have to test and tell us in a couple in days : ) I'm excited for you : ) How are your Fertility Meditation tapes : ) Relaxing? ... I think COL & I should get our hands on some too : ) Girls ... I kept forgetting to you this story. This clinic nurse at my ob/gynae office, she and Dh(both in their 40s) had been trying for years and nothing has happen .... zero. All fertility tests showed ... she has PCOS and Dh has extremely low sperm count and was told there was close to a zero chance for them to have kids on their own and was told to do ivf. Even that they were told to have -10% chance. Just as they were about to embark on to the ivf journey, she got pg on their own. And she gave birth to a healthy baby boy begining this year. This clinic nurse had just started working at my ob/gynae office for a couple of months when I came in contact with her last Aug05. My ob/gynae did all the diagnosis and testing for them. She was totally surprised when she found out that her nurse got pg naturally. My ob/gynae said she believes in God's will(after years being in practice and she will be 60 next year) She too believes age is not a factor if a woman is in good health and still oving .. no reason why she can't get pg. The concerns and tests are only for reassuance that all things goes well during pregnancy which normally does unless due to "chromo disorder". She said ... these days anything can happen at any age during pregnancy. The main important issue is health and a woman's/man's mental/emotional well being : ) That's one of the reason why she's been wanting to put me on ov inducing meds to quicken the process. She feels I'm being stressed out with TCM (it's just taking too long this time and emotionally taxing on me) or maybe I'm not reponding to TCM this time. However ob/gynae did say if a couple had tried all western meds and nothing has worked then TCM should be tried before doing ART (which is more financially and emotionally taxing in comparison with ART) What are your thoughts ... girls? My updates ... I'm on 14dpo(69cd). I don't think there is chance for a +ve hpt this cycle cos my temps dipped on Sunday morning(99.1F) and this morning(98.3F) it's been averaging 99.6F for the past week plus loads of PMS (very irritable lately and my lower right side hurts from getting up whenever I'm in sitting position for too long) so I'm waiting for af to show : ( I haven't done any hpt yet will do one if af doesn't show in 2 days. By the way ... I have some time at home this week lots of time to chat. Talk to you soon. Take care & God Bless : ) : ) : )

Sorry girls ... I didn't realise I wrote a "novel" Hope the both of you wouldn't have a have time reading : )

Hi Girls ... typo again. I meant to say I hope the both of you wouldn't have a hard time reading, dyslexia kicking in : ( COL ... Sorry! I think we should start a new thread, it isn't just me and Val ... mothers-to-be ... including you : ) Val : ) What do you think? And COL ..don't you say that again "You don't think you're meant to be a mom" .... it's taboo and don't jinx yourself : ( you hearrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!! Val, tell COL that it isn't her talking ... it's stress and fatigue : ) HUGS : )

hiya... Col, thanks for opening the thread. Others can definitely join if they want to! So, I'm 11dpo, and waiting for af in 2-3 days. Been HUGELY irritable/bitchy today. I'm on my 2nd rum and lemonade and it's the only reason why I'm not in a terrible mood. (Alcohol is usually not a depressant for me - yay!) Anyway, despite my best intentions at not getting my hopes up this month, my hopes have been up and today they are just crashing down with the expectations of af arriving again. This, despite not wanting to get pg during a bad allergy month, and knowing that we probably missed our window. I just started getting really pissed off about how easy it is for some people and how my m/c anniversary is now less than a month away and I just really expected to be pg by now (and even though it's mean, can I say how tired of am of having to look at friend's cute new baby photos?!) and not have to go through all the crap (sorry) of this past year. ANYWAY, forgive me for not being more positive on this post... I'll probably feel better in the morning. SANN, thanks for the positive story. I really should listen to those meditation tapes, they'd probably help. And despite being depressed today, starting clomid was definitely a good idea for me - at least this cycle will be over by cd32 or so... I totally feel for you and the long cycles- they are just really hard on your psyche. Hugs to both of you, and welcome to anyone else who might want to join our thread. -V

ok, sorry about the rant last night - was feeling a bit down. I actually have been enjoying the photos from the women I've met on this website... I know how precious their babies are! Anyway, I'm feeling better today and I'm hoping you both are doing well...

Hi Girls : ) Af is here (I think cos it doesn't look like af) .. so no hope for this cycle : ( VAL, don't worry about the ranting and vent away should you need to .. we're here for you. Bit*chy ... I shake your hands on that ... I was bit*chy too ... being nice seemed like an impossible task. Guess what Girls ... one of my staff (she's 42) just announced her "9 week pg" with #1 and she's taking the rest of the year off from work cos she's spotting on and off. I trying hard to be happy for her that she's finally pg after years of trying too but it's hard hard hard :( Trying to stay positive is even harder : ( I feel like I'm in a sinking boat :( trying to stay alive :( I have neighbours with infants most of them are born last year ... I get totally irritated when I hear them cry when I'm working from home ... I have to lock myself in the study most of the time : ( cos it's a constant reminder of my mc. VAL, come end Aug will be my MC anniversary too :( I'm not sure how would handle it :( I feel heartache and sadness creeping in slowly, soon it'll be in full swing I sure of that : ( I've been so stressed out by this long cycle I haven't seen my TCM physician for a month now. My doctors aren't agreeing :( they used to work so closely and I'm not even sure if I want to get my bloodworks done .... I'm so lost right now :( My doctors said I have to do one or the other ... Ov meds or Chinese herbs not both at once. My updates, 2cd if it's af that is. GIRLS, I can't tell what is it. I have lots and lots of brown clots, the flow is not heavy which is should be for the first 2 days. Plus I'm in pain and lots of PMS, still feeling bloated after a meal and I eat like a bird. My temps are still on the high side 98.3F it should lower. VAL ... COL, WHAT ARE TEMPS LIKE WHEN AF IS HERE AND AFTER OV? I think coming to this board is really a good thing for us. I keep reading about women getting pg from the other boards. I feel really happy for them and want to send my well wishes espeially to those who have given us support and I feel hopeful. But after which I feel a little depress and heartache that it's not us getting pg ... my moods are so messed up : ( I pray God anwers our prayers soon ... I think I'm going "psycho" soon :( COL, we haven't heard from you :( Have you got internet excess at your new place yet? Look who's talking .. I still have this loging in issue here and I can't buy anything online too( I still haven't read TCOYF yet) I'm wondering when or if IT will be able to fix it :( I feel like throwing my home(and office) computers aways, it's driving me nuts ... see what I mean by mood swings. So VAL, you're not alone : ) This is getting long : ) My prayers will be with the both of you : ) LOL & Tonnes of hugs : ) Take care & God Bless : ) : ) : )

Sann, sorry you are feeling down and that you're getting conflicting advice from your doctors. If I was in your shoes, I'd probably have to pick one for a certain amount of time, and then just go with it. (Easy for me to say - I actually often have a difficult time making decisions!) Since it sounds like your cycles are so unusual lately, you might consider going with an RE if they are going to try to figure out what is going on. It's a hard call though. I know that the clomid seems to be helping regulate my cycles, and that alone is a big stress reliever for me. That's a bummer about all the people with kids around you. I know I keep seeing pregnant women EVERYWHERE! I don't know if I'm looking at people's stomachs more or something, but today (for example) I saw like 3 pg women and I just have to look away. Re: temps ... My pre-ov temps are around 97.9-98.2 and my post-ov temps are usually 98.6-98.8. My temps usually drop down to 98.3 when I'm about to get af, and continue on down. Well, I'd better get to sleep soon... have a busy work day tomorrow. Hugs...

Goodness Val : ) it's almost 3am and you're still up : ) Look who's talking again ... I've been having a hard time going to sleep : ( not till 3 or 4 am. Yep ...Dh & I have to make a decision in 48hours if I want to get my bloodworks done. I think, for this werid cycle ..I will have to stick with my ob/gynae, she a RE too but she does more ob/gynae work these days. Last year during D&C Ops, she did an investigation at the same time she said it's less stressful on me that way (except bloodworks which can't be done yet). She checked that I was fine. And since I could pg in + - 12mths and not being able ttc every cycle due to Dh's frequent work travel, the lenght of time taken to conceive is considered normal for any couple under this situation ( We started trying Apr04). Well .. I'm not so sure everthing is fine now. Anyway, she did say something like going back to see my physician, after I ov (when she put my on ov meds) for herbs to help with implantaion since most ov meds thins the lining. Thanks VAL, took a load of my mind. Actually ... I have kind of made up my mind sticking to my ob/gynae first but I'm just such an indecisive person when it comes to this. Cos I did get pg after seeing my physician ... taking herbs. Well .. I thought it might for me again, guess it not working or I need to be more patient. I still wish for them to work together again ... my mind would be more at ease : ) LOL TTYL : )

Hello ladies, sorry for not writing before, I was really busy with the moving and the family (they are driving me crazyyyyyyyyyyyyy). : ) : ) : ).
Sann, I am so sorry AF showed up, but, well, at least a new hope started too, don’t you think?? Sann, Val, don’t worry about being in a bad mood, and vent as much as you can, that’s why we love coming to this forum, vent and find someone to listen and relate to your issue. Venting some where else is not helping. I am on CD 6, and as I mentioned before, I am not going to be obsessed about TTC anymore, I can’t handle it. I am preparing myself for my training course in 2 weeks; I will be a way from home for 14 days. Tomorrow I have a acupuncture appointment. Plus I am going to go for my blood work too. I have good news to share, I lost 4.4 pounds and I am so happy about it. Did I tell you that I gained lots of weight lately because I quit smoking 5 months ago? so now I am trying to get my body back on track.
Girls, I am so happy I have you as cycle friends, and I wish you both the BFP very soon. TTYL

Actually, it was close to midnight when I posted here! I usually get to bed between 10:30 and 12. Sann, glad you're making a decision. Patience is definitely the hardest thing during all this! And I'll be fine for a while, and then just get really inpatient again. Col, glad to hear from you. Sorry the family is driving you crazy! ;-) Congrats on the weight loss! I need to get back on the weight watchers wagon. I'm not sure if I've gained any weight back, but I haven't been very good about watching what I eat lately. It sounds like you are very busy but that's probably good for helping getting your mind off ttc. Nothing new to report here. It's 13dpo, and my temps are still up. Af should arrive in a couple of days. Anyway, I have to get lunches ready for dh and I (we carpool several days a week.... kind of nice, except when I'm in a bad mood!) Have a good day!

Hi Girls : ) COL, sorry ... everything is happening at the same time and it's driving you crazy, I can image that I have my fair share of family driving me nuts when we first move back home. Sounds like you're feeling better, I'm glad : ) I agree with VAL keeping ourselves busy takes a load of our minds. COL, great! you quit smoking. I've been trying reallyyyyyy hard to quit. I'm smoking alot less these days except when I'm stress with work I smoke alot more :( Yes yes yes ... quiting smokes does make you put on weight even smoking less makes you put on weight. Last June I dropped smoking the minute I got that +ve hpt and I put on almost 10 pounds in 8 weeks unfortunately I picked up smoking again in Sept05 : ( I used to be a size 10 went up to 14, now I'm in between 12 and 14 sometimes : ( my ob/gynae says I'm still in the healthy BMI range cos I'm taller than most asian women but I think losing a few pounds wouldn't hurt, don't you think, ladies : ) Oh VAL, whats the time difference I assume this site is running in US time. I usually don't watch what I eat too ... but I not really a meat person so that helps to keep the weight constant for me and I put on and lose weight quite easyly. VAL, I hope your temp stays up : ) 1 more day and you're ready to for testing and keeping my fingers/toes crossed for you : ) Like I said before, Patience isn't one of my virtures when it comes to this :( Dh has more but men they're usually not on the go when it's come to getting pgggggg, right girls! Back to the losing weight thing ..... when I am trying to lose weight I subsitute regular lunch with a fruity low fat milk shake with a banana/ piece of papaya and I eat regular breakfast and dinner. Or I eat several small meals spread throughout the day. Girls ... we shouldn't pineapples and watermelons when we're ttc, physician said they are too "cold" (too yin) for the womb, bad for implantation. An old wife's tale of some sort from the chinese side of my origin .. most chinese women here eat lots pineapple and watermelons after they bd on their ov days. And one more (not an old wife's tale, it's states very clearly on the packaging).... do not drink any tea made with rose buds when ttc, can cause mc. Chinese women drink rose bud tea(high in vit c) for clear, fair and rosy complexion. To help ov eat yams, I read this from journal, Nigerian women had the highest twins rate in the world. Research lead doctors to believe it due to yam cos Nigerian women tend to have yam-rich diet and yam contains a hormone( didn't say which one) that stimulate ov, I haven't tried it yet. My concoction of tcm has wild yam too. Maybe that explains why this cycle is long, haven't taken any meds from my physician for the past month. Ok ... it's definitely af, my temp dipped really low this morning so it's 3cd. This is long again ... I working from home, have some time on my hands to :O heeheehee : ) LOL & hugs God bless : ) : ) : )

Hi ladies... nothing really new to report. 14dpo and got a bfn. Not surprised - don't really have any symptoms anymore (even my irritability went away, which is definitely a good thing!). Temps are still up but probably will fall tomorrow. I just hope the clomid doesn't make the luteal phase extend really long or something... DH has planned some work trips based on ~32day cycles for the next couple of months. If he's out of town again during ovulation, I think I'll have a major breakdown! That's tough about the smoking... I know it's really hard to quit. I'm an occasional social smoker (I'll have a cigarette every few months if I'm out at a bar with friends) but that's it. SANN, thanks for your diet and food tips! I haven't been going to my weight watchers meetings, but I have kept up with exercising and I'm still trying to watch out for fats and portiion sizes. I think I'll start doing my sit-ups again today... I usually stop during the tww. Well, today is one of my days "off" but I have a ton of things to do. Hope you both have a good day!

Hello ladies, I love talking about loosing weight, its my favorite topic, : ) : ) : ) I go to weight watchers, I love this program, worked perfect for me before. I came down from size 18 to 12. I gained now as I said because of quitting smoking. Sann, I have to share my quit smoking experience with you. I always wanted to quit, I smoked for 14 years, I never liked it, never been impressed with the fact I smoke.: ) : ) I know its strange. But it’s a fact. Anyway, I tried to quit once before, I failed. This time, something big motivated me, a fact I never thought of, I never relate it. A friend of mine said to me, you should quit smoking; it’s not good if you are trying to conceive. I did not think too much about that, and I ignored her comments. One day when I was trying to know why I am not getting pregnant, I came to know about the CM quality. So I decided, to start charting and monitoring CM as everybody. For my surprise, I noticed that I do not have any kind of CM, not EW nor creamy nothing. I thought something is wrong with me, and then I noticed that even during BD I am dry badly. ((( I know what you are thinking, at this age and you don’t know??) yesssssssssss I was clueless before, I did not know any of what I know now. Anyway, I started to search why I am so dry, and I discovered the horrible fact, smoking dries out your uterus, believe it or not, its not only that, its makes your uterus lining thick and prevent implantation, I was in shock to know. I was in disbelieve, I thought its just one of the net info that means nothing. So I thought what if it’s true, I decided to quit, I quit, February 15th 2006. Now, the CM I get is something I never seen in my life, yes I am talking about my own experience not something I heard or read about. I use to think I am dry because of my age: ) : ). So please Sann, try to quit, cutting down is not enough. Val, I hope your temps stays up, one of us should have good news by now : ) : ). Keep doing weight watchers, is a good program, we can exchange recopies here if you want : ) : ) : ).
Ok girls, talk to you soon, love you , god bless

Good Morning, Girls : ) Friday morning for me. I'm feeling good this morning ... no more mood swings and bloating : ) 4cd for me, temp's down and af has turned into spotting from yesterday afternoon. I just called for an appt with my ob/gynae for next week but they have no opening for my bloodworks and Dh's SA : ( VAL, don't give up yet, it's still earlyyyyyyyy : ) Last time, I did 4 tests on alternate till 38dpo then finally it was a +ve. Your Dh is so sweet, planning his work trips base on your cycle days : ) I sure things will work out fine : ) Sounds like you are doing well on clomid, no side effects, don't worry : ) You ov a few days earlier than before which I think it's posssible. You gave me confidence to try any ov meds : ) I really hope you get that +ve then you shake some of that sticky baby dust on COL and me : ) COL, thanks for sharing your experience with us. How did you do it? Did you just dropped smoking one day? You must have great will power : ) I'm really weak : ( I know smoking less isn't going to help much. I didn't know smoking dries uterus and thinken the lining : ( From my u/s report, my uterus lining is thin ( 0.8) it should 0.9-1.1, right for implantation (maybe I stick to smoking, just joking) well ... that's what I read. Yes, you're right about CM. It's alot better now that I smoke alot less. COL, I was clueless too when we 1st started trying we've got start somewhere/sometime. VAL, Dh and I started off as social smokers too, we've got no will power. And probably causing of this infertility issue for us, that's what my ob/gynae and physician said but it isn't a definite cos they have seem many couples who smokes and got pg quite easily. And we know lots of people who smokes and they have lots of kids. Dh's co-worker and his wife, both are heavy smokers (at least 2 packs a day) and they got pg easily. (They have what people here label as a "shot gun" marriage, is that what it's called over there? Pg by "accident" before marriage. Society here is as such, they "label" you, really sad!) I guess it differs from people to people or they're lucky or we're in denial : ( RE : Loosing weight ... keep up the good work, girls! Anyone of you doing acupunture for weight or smoking? VAL, you too, don't exercise during 2ww, was it your RE's advice? I was told not to any at all by my doctors. Girls, do you think exercising during 2ww can affect implantation? Got to get back to work, have a dateline. And VAL, tonnes of sticky baby dusts : ) LOL & God bless : )

Girls .. I spoke too soon. The spotting is gone. I barely 24 hours of af and now habrely 24 hours of spotting. I forget to tell you, I have this pain in my bbs feels like neddles jabs. What do you girls think af or ib? TTYL

Girls .. typo I meant to say barly 24hrs of spotting. As you see ... I can't get my mind to get to work and I have "deadline" dateline to meet and I can't afford to "mess up" ... major $$$$$ deal : ( LOL