Hurt about DH
5 Replies
SerineMali - April 28

Hey ladies, I know this is a trying time for all of us, but I know our day will come.... I'm sorry I'm posting this here, but I didn't know where else to put it...
I just wanted to vent about something that's been bothering me a lot. All of my neighbors have new borns.. it's like they all get pregnant at the same time. Well it was very beautiful to hear a baby laughing and playing and all those nice things, but it's really been getting to me when my husband ignores me and goes to hang out with them and their kids. I know how much he wants a baby, and we're trying very hard but all he ever says is to wait and our time will come. I was just diagnosed with having high grade dyplasia and PCOS. So it's even a harder time for me. The pregnant neighbors are really nice, but they're always doing their "pregnant" thing and they never try to include me. Being in the military it is kind of hard to spend every day with them, but I just feel hurt that DH ignores me even sometimes on the phone to play with their kids instead. I've talked to him about it, but he always claims it's just my emotions getting in the way. Maybe I am a bit jealous, but I'm not even that type of person! Anyone have any advice?? Please share...


Maren - April 28

my heart goes out to you, it is very difficult to be around people are are getting what you want. Sometimes when I want to be mad or sad about my troubles my dh says the same thing, it will happen etc. That doesn't always make me feel better though, I want to feel upset about it. And, sometimes I want him to acknowledge that I am upset without trying to make me feel better. But, then he gets made that I won't let him try and be comforting.


SerineMali - April 28

Hey Maren,
It can be really hard. I just don't get it sometimes. I wonder doesn't he want to be comforting to his wife instead of someone else? I know he cares, but it's just hurtful when he blows it off sometimes. It's hard when you're already suffering from all the problems keeping you from conceiving then you get ignored... I don't know.. well good luck to you!!!


MelissaV - April 28

I feel for your Serine. DH & I just got in an argument an hour ago over ttc. This month was the first cycle we'd been able to try since I had a LAP in Sept for endo. My period was 3 days late but then it started & I found out from my obgyn that my progesterone test came back low. I'm really struggling to keep my emotions in check. I broke down the other night & DH did try to hold me & console me, but now he says the same thing as yours...just wait, be positive, it'll happen. I told him today that one of my co-workers who is pregnant & doesn't know about my infertility problems came up to me telling her all about her first visit to her ob yesterday & her first ultrasound. It took everything in me not to start sobbing. When I told hubby, he just ignored me & said basically said, "you just need to be positive and stop stressing". Then he starts complaining about his allergies & how they're killing him. I exploded! How does he expect me to sympathize over stupid allergies! I don't know...they just don't get how ttc wears on our emotions. I just keep telling myself that I am/will be a stronger woman for having to go through this. Hope it helps you knowing you're not alone in the frustrations. (Sorry, this turned into more of a vent than I expected!)


SerineMali - April 29

Hey Melissa.. I don't mind at all.. I kinda needed to vent also. The same thing happened to me last night when DH had a headache and I just got home after working 15 hours at the hospital. He's been on vacation for 2 weeks now and it's nice to have him at home. I was upset when I came home because he was hanging out on the couch and hadn't told me he had a head ache, then when I started talking to him he started complaining about how I was "too loud" and he had a head ache. Then after I made him dinner he fell asleep without eating it. Normally he's a wonderful person but when he's got a head ache he can be so mean to me! What hurts me the most is when I tell him about my ultrasounds for my cysts or treatments I have to go through, he says it's alright, don't worry. Yet, he's the one always saying to other people " I can't wait until we have a baby" I mean it's hurtful because he'll say it to all our neighbors who just had babies.. all 3 of them, but when I try to explain how we can work around things, it's kinda like.. it's alright, it'll get better. I guess my frustration about all of this is eating me up. I wanted to finish college and then have children, but now I'm into because he wants to have kids so much and he's made me want them more than anything too. It's just hard when he doesn't want to listen!!! (sorry... I'm alone at work and I live in Japan-military- so I don't have much friends here)


LeighAnn1979 - April 29

Hey Serine,
I understand your pain. However, I'm on the other end of the spectrum. My DH is a wonderful man, but I just don't feel that he cares if we have a baby right now. I know he'll be excited when (if) I get pregnant, but I feel like I'm in the "trying" process alone. I wake up at 5:30 every morning (even on weekends) to chart my temp. and I'm taking meds for PCOS, and looking up info online and worrying all the time and DH never even mentions wanting a baby. Granted, we're buying a house and are moving in about 3-4 weeks so he has other things on his mind, but I need him to at least want to discuss it. Then, he gets mad when I tell him how I feel. He attempts to "reassure" me that he wants a baby. I told him yesterday about a girl I work with who just found out that she was pregnant that morning and she hadn't been trying or preventing for 10 years and she has a record deal and was afraid of how her producer was going to handle the news because she didn't think she would be marketable as a pregnant woman. Doesn't she realize what a miracle a baby is? Who cares about being marketable! You'll only be pregnant for 9 months and will have a wonderful child for the rest of your life. People kill me! Don't even get me started on Britney Spears being pregnant with her second child when she can't take care of her first one. Sorry to go on and on, but this I could talk forever about this subject.



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