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Nans, Natasha, Ann, KC---how are things going? Kalyn has her first fever...100.9, she's drooling some too and has loose stools--not sure if it's teething b/c that's a little early...maybe an ear infection...hopefully the Tylenol will decrease the fever. I can't believe how emotional I get when something makes her uncomfortable---hope to hear from you guyz soon!

Kerri, I am so sorry about Kalyn's fever. Delaney had one about a week ago. She had the opposite problem and could not go the bathroom, she also slept all day. And when she wasn't sleeping she was crying or eating. It broke my heart. The doctor said it was a little virus and it did go away in a couple of days. Hang in there I know it's rough on you as well as your little one. Let us know how she's doing. (I also used tylenol and it did help her.)

we actually had to take her to the ER b/c of her explosive diarrhea and temperature of 101.4--it was a long night! They concluded that it was a GI virus and to treat the symptoms...so she got Tylenol every 4 hours and Pedilite to prevent dehydration. She still has a low grade temp of 99.0 but she's doing so much better and nursing so well. Tomorrow is our 4 year anniversary and we previously booked a bed and breakfast about 30 min. away from home that is nonrefundable--so I really hope that her temp. breaks and that she'll take bottles from my mother...I know that I'm going to worry the whole time, but I know she's in good hands. Natasha, did you use OPK this cycle? Pray'n the Bd days are right on target.

Hi ladies, Well, I went to the specialist today (was waiting 2 months to see him for some final advice). Firstly, I thought I remembered that my FSH (on day 3) was 12 (which isn't very good) but I asked him and he said that no, it was actually 8.2 (which is not great, but much better than 12). I was kind of relieved. BUT, with that he also gave me some bad news. According to him, we should not waste time (since I'm almost 36 now) and move right into IVF. I don't think I'm prepared to go that far...dh and I will have to discuss it some more, but I'm leaning towards no. Ugh..this is SO hard! The worst..REALLY bad news, was when I asked the specialist what he thought my chances are of getting pg naturally (now that I've taken my LAST clomid pill..by my choice) and he said that after all this time we've been trying? "Oh, about 1 or 2%". Nice guy, huh? I was NOT impressed at all, in fact I felt like crying right then. For the record, I don't believe it. I think that dh and I will try it naturally again (with the help of herbs and weekly acupuncture) for a few months and I'm going to try not to think too much about it and hope that God blesses us. People keep telling me to 'let it go' and it will happen. I can try!! (wish me luck with that!) ...What else can you do? Kerri and Ann, I'm glad to hear that your little ones are feeling better. I'm sure it's scary to deal with a little one who can't tell you what's wrong. I hope you can take your trip Kerri and have a nice time. Ann, I did use 2 opk sticks this cycle, just to confirm. I had decided that I wasn't going to obsess and would just bd on cd 12 and cd14 and be done with it (O'ed on cd 13 last cycle and cd14 the one before that). So..that's what we did. I believe O was today (cd14). Of course with the whole 'only a 1 or 2 % chance' in the back of my mind, I didn't feel very good about it... I'm trying not to give up on this baby thing, but it's getting harder and harder. My best friend is due next month and it's quite hard to spend time together, I can't help but feel jealous and on bad days, I really don't want to be around her at all ..and feel myself pulling away from our frienship. I really am happy for her and can't wait to see her baby, but on the other hand, I dread the idea that we can't go out for dinner anymore or have a conversation without her talking about her baby...it makes me so sad and I feel damn sorry for myself. Then, I try to focus on the things that I'll be able to do that she won't..that only helps a bit. I'm sorry if I sound callous, I really do love my friend, it's just hard... Do you guys have any friends who're trying and if so, how do you handle this? Any advice from your perspective would really be appreciated. Sorry if I sound like a bummer, I think it was my appt..really got me down. I hope everyone is doing well..kc, should be SOON right? Best of luck my dear. And NANS..come back!! I hope you're doing okay...

I just have a quick minute and will write more later.........Kerri, I am sorry that you went through that with Kalyn. It is so scary when they are tiny and sick. I am so glad she is feeling better. Natasha, I am discouraged for you. IVF is a big step and it is good that you are really thinking about it. What do you feel are the pos/neg's of IVF? Does it cost you money in Canada? Are you worried about multiples? Just wondering, because my dh and I talked about doing it if IUI didn't work for us. I'll be thinking of you. Nans - we miss you!

Hi, just checking in. Still wondering where our Nans has gone. I'm still hoping that it's a computer issue and that you haven't abandoned us for good. Last we heard, you were on the 2ww, I'm really hoping something good came of that. Ann, thanks for still being here to chat with me! :) I guess I'm fortunate that I'm able to chat with other women on a couple of other posts. I still have to check in here though, because I want to hear how those babies are doing, and how Nans is etc. kc..are you feeling very uncomfortable? I hope everything is well with you. Please check in soon. Ann, IVF here in Canada will run us about $10,000 (minimum) and I don't believe that any of that is covered by any insurance..that is, we'd have to pay that whole amount ourselves. The cost is definitely prohibitive, but not necessarily the main reason we're not keen to do it (we could always budget for it and save etc.). I found being on Clomid was not something I'd want to do again and I've read that the drugs from IVF are worse. Also, the idea of going through ALL of the processes involved in IVF and not have a guarantee is just more than I can bear. If we did everything just right and paid the $10,000+ and still didn't get pregnant..well, just shoot me now! I'd be absolutely devastated. Never mind that we have to go to a city 3 hours away for all the treatments. Anyway, I'm not saying no, I just keep praying that it'll happen with the acupuncture etc. in the next couple/few months. Kerri, hope everything's good with you too (almost forgot you). ..take care.

hello to all, I miss you all, well this gonna be a long post ...so be ready...LOL It's been 3 weeks since my last post and i really miss all of you, i'm sorry i wasn't able to get in touch with all of you as quickly as possible since we moved.....i'm really thinking about you guys all the time. Natasha V don't worry i'm still here and it's really just a computer thing...As i told you before that we're moving to Queens and finally i'm here. I've been so busy with this whole moving thing and the don't have internet connection here. DH applied for internet connection and let us wait for 2 weeks for schedule of installation. So i had no choice but to wait for my internet. It going nuts for having no access with my cycle buddies and very dissappointed why do i have to wait for 2 long weeks before they could install it to our house. Geez....it was terible. But then as i said I have no choice but to wait. Finally the long wait is over and today the internet was installed and now i'm back again. Anyways last Aug 7 AF arrived for me...It's supposed to be my due date if i didn't had MC, so it's really a bummer, having AF on your supposed to be Due date...We'll i just keep myself busy with our move, decorating the house, buying some stuffs that we need. Right now i'm on my 2WW again and really hope and pray that i'll get pg very soon. We'll got a lot of catch up to do....Natasha V i really hope and pray that these last rounds of clomid will work for you. It's really a sad news what the specialist told you and it's ok to feel a depressed about it...But I still pray that God will perform miracles on us. If IVF will be your last plan i think you really have to pray for it. I myself don't know what to do, i guess we're in the same boat until now. I still wanted to get pg naturally. I still believe that i'll get pg naturally but don't know when. I'm still taking the herbs right now and it's my 3rd month already, i still keep in praying that one day we will be bless. Don't give up and don't loose hope. I know it's hard. Sometimes I also feel that i wanted to give up but this is the desire of my heart I can't simply give up that easily with all the time, efforts, money and prayers i've done just to get pg I think it's not the time to give up. Let's continue this journey and who knows what will happened in the end. I will always be right behind in all your plans and I know that one of those plans will work for you. What kind of herbs are you taking? how about your accupunture how's it going? Just be strong, be patient and i know God is listening to us. He hears our prayers but in his time he will answer our prayers. Kerri is Kaylyn feeling better now? Hope that she is fine after that terrible fever. It's really a heart breaking moment when your baby is sick and just wish to take the sickness away. By the way how was your orientation to her nursery? hope that everything went fine. Ann how are you? how's Delaney hope that she is great..So few more months and your're going back to work. I know that it's so hard to go back to work and leave the baby. Kc due date is very near praying for your safe delivery. Keep us posted. Have a nice day to all of you and definitely back here again. Talk to ya all later.

NANS!!! Thank goodness! I was really starting to wonder what happened to you. My sense was that you were having computer problems... I'm glad that was all. And, I'm so glad you're back! I've missed you terribly. The mommies have been keeping me company, but you & I are in the same boat and that means a lot when ttc-ing. I'm sorry to hear that af arrived for you..what dpo are you now? I gave up on the gross tasting/time consuming herbs that the acu guy gave me already. He ordered me some capsules, and I'll start those next week. I'll continue to do the acu for another month for sure, then we'll see. Thanks for your support nans, I was pretty much devastated by what the specialist told me, but I know now that if I never have a baby, I'll be okay. I REALLy still want one though, so you're right, I'm not quite ready to give up yet. You're also right in that you WILL get your bfp..it's for SURE! Your body knows how to get pg, it just needs the perfect healthy egg to connect with the perfect healthy sperm and ta daaaa! I've no doubt it will happen for you ..and soon! i'm 8dpo today and trying to just live my life. I'm off to a family reunion out of town this weekend, hopefully no one asks me why we don't have kids...I dread that question as it's such a sensitive issue for me. Anyway, I've got to run, but I'm SO glad you're back Nans. Kerri, Ann and kc..please continue to update us...take care!

hi Natasha V...we'll i'm really back and so sorry for letting you guys worried...it's really a computer thing...actually it's really the internet installation coz my computer works perfectly fine...LOL..anyways i think i'm 6DPO right now, CD20 and still have a week to go to find out if we made it or not again. I'm still taking the herbs and vitamin E and still using clearblue fertility monitor. I just stop taking my temps coz i find it so annoying to set alarm every morning and put the thermometer in your mouth, but once in a while a do that most especially if i'm on the last few days of 2WW...just want to find out if my temp is lower, at least i don't make my hopes too high. I really don't know what to do to conceive naturally, i just pray and talk to God, I think being a Christian helped me. I always seek for his guidance and ask to give me more patience and help me get through my everyday life even if i'm struggling with with TTC a baby Sometimes it seems that our dreams is so far away that we can't reach it but I always have to fight for that thinking and believe in HIM and believe that it will happen to us one day. I know he has HIS own reason for keeping us to wait this long. Sometimes I also get depressed going out coz all the women seems to be pg except me. Everywhere my head turns there seems to be a pg ladies popping out. Going to a party or reunion with friends and family is also hard, but i guess we don't owe explanation to anybody our situations. When friends or family ask me why we still don't have kids or why it's taking so long, we just answer " we're still in the process of trying"...and that's the truth...Then go back to my table and eat anything I want...LOL...I think that's life sometimes you have to let go of the weights we are carrying, I know how heavy our burdens because of this whole TTC thing and if those insensitve people will add on to it..Geez...life will be harder. So sometimes I just don't pay attention so much with their questions and go on with my life. I really hope that you'll have a wonderful time with your family reunion and just enjoy the food and picture taking and all those small stuffs. I just hope that with clomid, accu and herbs will give you your bundle of joy. Just believe that it will happen to you. As you said we are on the same boat so please hang'in there. Talk to ya later...

Hi, I'm back from the family reunion, feeling sleepy, so it's going to be a quick post. I got to play in the pool with my baby nephew (15 months old). What a sweetie, he smiled for me, and cooed and laughed. If I would've let it, it would've broken my heart since I want one of my own so badly. I'm proud to say that I didn't really 'go there' though, I just enjoyed my time with him. I'm about 11 dpo today, and af should be arriving in 2-3 days. I've got a couple of symptoms that could be pms or..lord knows what. I have sensitive nips, a bit tired and nauseous in the mornings for the last couple of days. BUT, before you get too excited, I also had diarhea..I know tmi! It's just that I don't think the nausea is pregnancy, just a stomach bug. I've never heard of ANYone saying diarhea is a symptom of being pg! :) Anyway, you never know till af shows...How're you feeling Nans? I meant to ask, what form are your herbs again? Capsules or a tea? I'm sure they're helping you, so keep it up! kc, ann, kerri..hope you all are well and that you're getting your rest. I so enjoyed spending time with the babies and kids at the reunion, but I have to admit that I enjoyed being able to go sit down and relax afterwards. You mommies are so BUSY!! Take care... N.

Hi all, thought I should write in to say that my temp was low this morning..too low to be pg. This was my last cycle on Clomid, so no more help in that regard. I'm disappointed, but because I'm trying to keep busy in life, I'm not letting it get me too down. Of course once af actually hits, chances are I'll be WAY down (all those hormones always make me feel worse about not being pg). Sigh..what can you do? Hope you all update soon...kc, did you have your little one yet, or are you still going in this weekend? Best of luck with your birthing process my dear..I know it will go really well. Take care all!

hi NatashaV how are you? Hope that i can cheer you up even if your temp is low. I really know how you feel about it but i will still pray that AF will not show up for both of us this month..i'm CD 24 today and expecting AF not to show up in 3-4 days, Geez the 2ww is getting slow for me. I'll keep you posted. By the way the herbs that i'm taking is in liquid form. you just take like a tablespoon a day and the other one is 1 tsp 3 times a day. I can't explain how it taste but one thing for sure they are not good. But if that can help me get pg again why not. I will definitely take the bad taste of that herbs, because My friend had her 2 bundle of joys because of that herbs. Actually those herbs are all in liquid form just combine with distilled water. So i think it's really natural and i never had any bad side effects taking it. just in case you want to try it i will let you know the details. Kerri and Anne how are you ladies doin? Very busy with your little ones. Kc i'm so excited for you you about to deliver anytime next week or this week. let us know how your delivery goes. Talk to ya all ladies and have a wonderful day. Please continue to pray for me and Natasha.

Hi Nans and Natasha! Nans it is so good to have you back :0). School starts this week and although I am not going back just yet, I have been busy helping my substitute set up for the school year. The kids come today, so my work for now is over! Natasha sorry to hear about the drop in temp. IVF is very expensive here too. Some insurance companies cover one try, but limit your amount of eggs to be transferred. It is a huge financial commitment only because, like you said, not getting pregnant after is devastating. When we were having trouble ttc, my dh and I talked about every option including adoption. Two women that I work with were not able to conceive and they adopted (one in the US and the other from China). I had mixed feelings and some fears about IVF and adoption. It is hard in my line of work, because I see wonderful parents who are loving and caring and those who are very limited and sometimes abusive. Just a big reminder that life is not fair I guess. I just know you will be a terrific mom and I really don't want you to give up. But, I know the realities and I also don't want you to hold on until you have lost yourself in this journey. I guess I just want you and Nans to be happy and part of that happiness to be the joy of a child. Well Nans I hope that Af doesn't show up for you, thanks for coming back to us! Kerri, I hope Kalyn is doing well. KC let us know how you are doing and when your new bundle arrives. Take Care.

hi ann! thanks for those encouraging words. I really appreciate it..i know what you meant by life is sometimes not fair, and sometimes we don't have control over some circumstances in our lives, i'm just happy that you, kerri and kc are still here with me and NatashaV...we really need your thoughts. I really would like to continue this journey. I really doesn't want to give up my desire to become a mom one day and I know that God knows that.Kerri, kc how are you doin? Natasha it seems that the family reunion was so tiring...anyways have a wonderful day to all of you.

Hi Ladies...it's been so long since I've been able to log onto CycleBuddies. I went to visit my folks for my 10 year highschool reunion and their internet is soooo slow and doesn't work half of the time and then when I got back home my dh needed the computer to study. My heart feels for you and the not so encouraging news from the doctor about getting pregnant naturally...where did the 1-2% come from, is it related to age? I remember crying my eyes out in the docotor's office when my OBGYN said after my first round of Clomid when my follicles grew some, then shrunk, that our chances of getting pregnant naturally were 5% with my PCOS and dh's low sperm count---boy, was he wrong...I don't think that they can place a percentage on it--you ovulate and your dh has great sperm count....I know that you'll make the right decisions. IVF runs about the same 10000.00 here--I just had a friend that found out she's P with her second child and this is the third time to do IVF. The first time was covered by insurance and she had a little boy and then the second time was covered by insurance but no successful pregnancy and the third time they paid for it and she's 5 weeks now, but she's the only one that I personally know who has done IVF. I'm hoping whle you and dh think about it that you'll get pregnant naturally and not have to worry about IVF at all!!! Nans, Sweetie...2ww is killing you....hope there is good news to share and that the herbs will help bring a healthy BFP. Glad to hear that you got moved in and now have the internet set up. As for me, I've been down this week thinking about returning to work and trying to pick up insurance coverage has been a big pain for me. My boss keeps switching coverage for us every month which is so annoying--we have a 1200.00 ER bill here and she can't give me the info for the insurance company to submit the bill to and now anything we pay towards the deductible is trashed when a new policy starts over--sorry to vent but it's driving me nuts! I brought all of Kalyn's items to the church nursery yesterday and the ladies in the infant rooms are like second 'Grannies' they've been there for 10-15 years and have lots of patience for little ones. Hope she will adjust well--I go back to work on the 5th. Anyways, I'll close for now---KC are you in labor yet???????????????

Hi all, Ann & Kerri your encouragement means a lot to Nans & I..thanks for being here! Ann, how do your friends feel about having adopted their children? Obviously they love them, but do you think they feel just as happy as if it were their own? Dh and I aren't really thinking seriously about adoption at this time, but I never say never. As for IVF, we said we'd give ourselves the next few months (till the end of the year-ish) to try with acupuncture and herbs, then we'll reintroduce that topic. Oh, I'm cd2 today... sorry forgot to mention that. I took it really well this cycle though, I think a part of me has decided to let go of the strong emotional reactions to getting af, it's just too hard! (also, checking my temp on 12dpo or so helps)I hope I can continue this attitude, but knowing me, it won't last. :) The 1-2% that the specialist quoted me is due to my age and due to the fact that we've been trying SO long (27 or 28 cycles now). Although dh begs to differ, he reminded me after that appt. that we really weren't timing bd-ing right until about 19 months ago, so ...I guess that helps a bit! :) As much as I was upset by that 1-2% some part of me doesn't believe him, so ..there ya go. Nans, I'm really hoping this is your month..it would make sense with everything that's been going on with you - new place etc...do you like it by the way? Do you have a new job too? Or..do you work? (sorry, I don't recall you ever mentioning work) I believe that to some extent 'letting go' of trying to control getting pg (by getting more involved in other aspects of your life), allows it to happen, so hopefully your busy-ness did it for ya! Was it that was for you Ann? Kerri? kc..? Kc is probably too busy birthing to respond. :) If so, good luck kc! Anyway, I TRY to let it go as much as I can. Kerri, I feel for you in that you have to think about going back to work so soon. I would find that so hard..sounds like you're coping really well though..keep up the good work! I've started some capsule herbs from the acupuncturist today, so maybe that'll help me get my bfp? Keep us posted Nans!!! Take care ladies...