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oh linds, i am so sorry. i don't know what else to say but to hang in there, try and think positive and pray. i'm praying harder for you. i know this is 10x worse than the 2ww for the ivf. i am really hoping and praying for you and your little bean. Please let us know how it goes at the RE's.
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Hi all. Linds..I was looking at my pregnancy journal from my ds last night, about timing of testing etc. And I noticed that at my first u/s I was over 11 weeks and they tiold me he only measured 9.2 weeks. So, 12 days off. At the time I went back a couple of weeks later and never thought tqwice about it. There was never any mention of heartbeat stuff but i wrote in my journal about the measurements being off. I'm keeping on praying for you all. Try and stay positive. Angelkitty, well, at least with af arriving you can move on. Mine is due any moment over tyhe next few days and my appt is on jan 30. I've never even had bloodwork done yet. What tests have you had done? Any? Tink..Jb...what are you guys in the midst of now? Pam..did you stop showing a surge yet? Also, what are good FSH numbers so I know when I get my tests next week?
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OK, I am now caught up! LINDS, you hang in there, PUPO!!! Pregnant until proven otherwise, I don't want to seem harsh BUT I want to snap you back into positive thinking! I am thinking of you & DH. I am sorry that I wasn't available to you sooner! I have been in my own world. ANGEL, LOVE & PAM, hi ladies!!! I see you are hanging in there. You can ask Tink I was having ISSUES! After the ER, I was immediately hyperstimulated, AGAIN! I was on bed rest for a few days last week and I went to see the RE today, I left feeling very frustrated! I am back on Lupron, I have to stop taking my bcp's on Saturday and go back to see her on Tuesday to discuss next steps! I felt like everytime we took 10 steps forward we fell 20 steps back, you know? So ET will most likely be in mid February! Tink & I are very close cycle buddies right now.l We will be doing different things BUT around the same times! I hope it's not on Valentines Day, Dh & I have to be in court! No worries, we're fine, he's got baby mama dram and is doing something about it!
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Lovemy3, thanks for sharing that tidbit of information regarding your son. When they measured him at 11 days behind, did he have a heartbeat at the time at 9+ weeks? I would assume he did right? Did he ever "speed up" and become on time-or normal growth? I'm just looking at how my cycle went and I can't believe they didn't calculate this problem during the first ultrasound, when I measured at 5 weeks and 3 days and I was supposed to be 6 weeks and 5 days (according to their stupid wheel, which BTW, doesn't even calculate that I didn't get my period for 3 of those days). The second ultrasound (at 7+weeks, showed only a fetal pole and yolk sac)...why didn't they say anything then (I should have had a heartbeat at that ultrasound since I was supposed to be over 7 weeks right?) It took them the third damn ultrasound to say "oh, it looks like you are only measuring 6 weeks and 1 day and you are about 11 days behind." That is really poor calculations and care on their part don't you think? I'm getting pissed off just rehashing this. At least if I would have know something was up 3 weeks ago, or even 2 weeks ago, I would have alerted my mother-in-law not to tell people of our pregnancy, etc. and I would have been more discreet about it too so I wouldn't have all these people to tell about my m/c.
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Linds, I agree with you 100%... You have a right to be upset w/ your RE and at tomorrow's appt you should be sure to ask pertinent questions to either put your mind at ease or inform you of what to expect the next few weeks. Maybe even ask them to double check the measurements and calculations as they goofed it up last week. And definitely ask questions about the heartbeat rate. especially if the heartbeat is on target. argh...we sure have a love/hate relationship w/ our doctors don't we! And you're not going to m/c! I agree w/ JB. Be positive!
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Linds, I know you're pissed BUT you are carrying, so try to calm down, I know my words are probably empty to you right now and that's ok. I just want you to know that WE are all here for you! I do agree with you that maybe someone should have been more diligent in your calculations but let's wait for tomorrow when you go see your RE. Don't be afraid to voice your concerns to your RE, ask all and any questions you feel like! Don't go in there like you want to kill them even if you want to, remain calm and be firm. Love ya much!
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Pam, looks like we have cross posted! We are on the same page, look at the posts, LOL!
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Pam, JB, I appreciate optimism from you ladies. Really, I need that to at least string me along as I nail bite the next few weeks. Who knows how long this can go on. Will I ever get peace of mind this whole pregnancy OR when will I m/c? Those are my questions for them tomorrow. And I promise, I will remain calm. (As best as I can.) Please keep your fingers crossed for me girls...
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Too funny JB! No kidding Linds, I'll keep fingers and toes crossed for you! What time is your appt?
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About 9 in the morning. I'll try to write in by noon...If I don't lose my mind with grief and anger tomorrow. Hey Pam, when you had your m/c, was it painful physically? Could you actually experience a lot of "obvious fetal" tissue? I don't know if I could handle that...anyone else have a m/c and could tell me how much it hurts (not just emotionally?) I kinda want to prepare myself.
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Linds, not that I think you will go through this but my m/c was painful in spurts... I had a "period". I was told that the pains were minor contractions, go figure! I was 5.5 weeks along and you could notice nothing in the blood. Just heavy bleeding for me, yes there were clots BUT understand that I never saw/heard a heartbeat, I never got that far, mine never developed properly! I hope that you don't have to go through this! At that time, I was pissed, not hurt, just pissed BUT with the help of this thread, I got through it with flying colors!
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Hey, well when I m/c first at 9 weeks the fetus was only measuring 6 1/2 or so but since I hadn't m/c naturally I had a d&c. No physical pain at all there. But I did have to hold out for 2 weeks in hopes that the baby would grow. I refused to abort it before the heartbeat stopped. So I was really 11 weeks but still measuring around 6 1/2 weeks when it's heart finally stopped. I saw it on the u/s and I thought I'd die... I had a d&c the very next morning. Then #2 was the worst. I was 12 weeks and measuring 12 weeks. Things just stopped over night. I was a devasted mess so I had another d&c and alot of numbing meds b/c I was really a wreck. Got over that and then the next 2 were natural m/c. I wasn't far enough along to experience more than a heavy period. I do remember feeling the tissue slide out. I would go the bathroom whether I needed to go or not and I would just push.... push really hard to try to get it over with. My guess IF things go south for you that you could ask for a d&c. I wouldn't wish a first m/c on anyone. It's devastating no matter how you look at it and getting it over w/ quickly is better than waiting for a natural to happen. It could take days or weeks to do it naturally. I AM SO SORRY if anything I said freaks you out and I'm tearing up as I type, but it happens... To the best of people. I was so positive w/ all of my pregnancies. I really was even up until the end. If I'd been negative then I would've felt like I was giving it a fighting chance. Whatever little person was growing in me had to know that I had 100% faith. That's why I want you to be positive! I don't wanna drag you down w/ my sad stories. I'm sorry :) Are we still friends??
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JB, Pam, thanks for posting your experiences. I prepare for everything and try to keep things real...that is just my nature I guess. As awful as it was to read what you went through Pam, thanks for sharing that, now I know what to expect, somewhat. We'll always be cyber buddies...and our kids will be cyber buds too! Anyway, I must say, you have certainly been through enough. That many miscarriages, I wonder how it changes you? I have to admit, I am terrified of seeing my little baby's tissue, I will probably take your advice and inquire about the D&C. After all I have been through, all the money I spent, this whole year of hell, I worry how this will change my character. Will I become one of those forever pessimissts? I never used to be like that. But really, I never was totally prepared for infertility and all the hell it brings.
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Linds...my u/s that I was telling you about was the first one with him and no everytime I had one they told me he was behind...looking back I've probably always ovulated late, like cd22 versus cd14. Thats how I always figured it. Linds, you are one of the most positive people I know, you will not become pessimistic. Wait till tomorrow and see hwta the y say. You may be worrying and all will be fine. As we already know worrying can not and won't change the issue. (I am truly the biggest worrier) but really don't. Just surrender it all and know God is in control. He absolutely is. I want you to read Jeremiah 29: 11-13. Hang in there. We're all praying for you. Also, you won't worry like this all pregnancy. get thru tomorrow and then we will conquer the next step. Sleep tight. Hugs.
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It hasn't hardened me in the least! It makes me terribly sad, but not bitter. The last 2 pregnancies I was actually quite anxious when I tested positive. I was scared... I've grown much closer to Rob (I have a hard time calling him dh ;) and I've learned so much about my body . If anything bad came out of it - it's that I've become cautiously optimistic. I don't sit around and giggle about being pregnant. I take it one day at a time and I KNOW that the right egg will drop one day and meet the right sperm and live happily ever after. For me, it's just taking some time. It won't change you Linds.. When you become a mother! Now that will change you ;) and you will. Don't doubt that.
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Linds, I hope you have a restful slumber tonight and wake up ready to take on the world tomorrow. I am thinking of you!
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