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TINK, must be nice to do work in the comfort of your own home... how jealous am I!haha Well I am leaving in about 10 minutes as I have to go to a commencement ceremony. I just received all the meds for the 1st IVF cycle and Holy Cow Tink there is a shitload!haha Kind of scary, especially because I don't like needles and it's dh's first time around giving them... MSMONET, hmmm I think your the only one that can really make that decision BUT I think you should go fwd with it. Why.... because I can really tell (plus you came out and said it) that you WANT your reception... and you are entitled to it. Put it this way, will you look back and always be hurt/upset that you never had your reception? Because once you have kids, my guess is it won't happen. Do it now when you can! Enjoy each other and your special day before you have another or others that will take priority w/ diaper changes, feedings, etc.... :0)

Thanks, Chele. I know that I am the only one who has to make the decision. Just wanted to get other peoples opinions. I agree with your response.... :)

Ms Monet, if you want the reception, then go for it. i understand the concern and being torn about saving money etc. We actually got married in vegas (mandalay bay) for that reason. 35 friends and family flew out and we had a casual reception, keg of beer, margarita machine, just low key, but still nice- that way we saved money since we were saving up for a house. i still got to see my family and friends, that is what mattered most to me, not the flowers or the decorations or food. we had a friend cater for us cheaply etc. I was never a big white wedding dreamy kind of girl, so that was fine for me. you do what you want to so that you have no regrets!! ;) sorry about the fibroid, but glad they got it removed. and great news on telling one of your bosses and gettting great support. that must be such a relief, i am so glad!!!

Hey girls just got home havent had a chance to read the posts Anthony will be home any minute just wanted to say hi and will check in later. love yas

TINK- I think... I think entirely too much. My mind is going in so many places.... What if I have to wait a month and the er or et will occur during that wk... Maybe I am thinking too much. I really want this!!! I've been through so much in the last yr. Uggh!

I saw a Cinderella Carriage online... Ugh! It is a clear glass pumpkin shaped carriage. There are two large horses that pull you and 2 British men that sit in front in costume. When arriving at the location... One guy blows a horn and another announces that (we) the Royal King and Queen have arrived. Oh, its so magical.... But it's also $1800. Ugh! Just venting... Think I am getting off of the IVF subject.... Sorry.

Hi everyone. I'm feeling down today. I think all of the blood junk has finally caught up with me. I had a dream last night that I was bleeding and woke in a panic. I wasn't able to get back to sleep after that. Sigh. Hpt'ed last night. The lines was pretty much the same as the day before. Not exactly what I was hoping for. I want it to keep getting darker...affirm that all is well in here...reassure me. It didn't do any of those things. Instead it left me nervous and worried. Tomorrow is the beta. It will all start again. I know this is fear coming through. I am just afraid. I want to be the kind of person who can just enjoy being pregnant. You know the type. The take the test once and nine months later they've got a baby type of person. I have seen too much. I know too much. It sucks. I'll talk to you later. Thanks for listening to me vent. Stac

Hey girls well finally caught up. Ms Monet i think you should have the reception. If its what you truly want. As for prioritizing i completely understand what you are saying. Lets see .. last year we got married, went on 2 honeymoons, moved into our house we waited 2 years to have built (because of hurricanes in Florida) and did IVF. We added it up we spent over 150 thousand dollars last year would have been nicer in our savings account but shit happens. We wouldnt have done it any other way. Also this is something for you and hubby I say go for it if your preggo then you will be newly preggo so nothing would really be showing anyway (: STACI - try not to worry a positive is a positive you know that and as for darker hpts it could also be they dye in the test. I mean just by looking at your blog you can see an tremendous difference over just a few days. I know you are more than worried and its totally expected. When is your 1st beta? WELL girlies i just did my 1st injection its official. I was having flashbacks again LOL. I thought damn i havent done this since November that Lupron makes you itchy as hell. CHELE - congrats on receiving the meds its overwhelming to say the least. The 1st injection we did i have hubby do because i was scared which was the Lupron in November then i realized i was freaking out more waiting for him to jab me so i said i will do it. So every injection except the PIO i have done myself now the more complicated ones that need mixing Jason mixed them and then i injected myself. So maybe try them on your own except the PIO.

Well, I had my first official maternity clothes shopping trip today. I only spent $157, so I hardly broke the bank, but I got a lot of good stuff that I needed. Until this point I had gotten 2 pairs of jeans (one $20, one $40) and a pair of shorts for $14. I could wear just about all of my tops. That's coming to an end :D So I got two dresses--one for graduation, one that is more casual--a pair of lounge/yoga pants, cotton shorts, about 5 cotton t-shirts, a skirt, and another khaki pair of shorts. Oh--and pregnancy bikini underwear since I didn't have enough pairs that were low-cut in the front before. So I'm stocked for a good long time :D I'm kind of in-between a size M and L for the cotton drawstring stuff, but am still in a medium for the dresses and panel shorts/skirt. It's great to know that I have stuff I can wear now!! Stacie--don't worry about the HPT line--each individual test is different and I hit a point where a lot of mine looked the same as well. That's totally to be expected...and I can't wait to hear what your beta is tomorrow :D BTW I had dreams and stuff too, and every time I thought I felt something I would run to the bathroom and check...ugh, that stress! Robyn--ooo I had forgotten about that itchy Lupron! I remember it got better over time though. Ms. Monet--I'd definitely have the reception. It's one of those times in your life that only comes once, and if you don't do the things you really want to at that time, you regret it later on. Money is important, true, but you won't be able to buy back time later on :D I regret not going on one last fly-away vacation with DH before I got to my current state; I was worried about money and DH taking vacation time that we would need later on, but we should have just done it. Can't go back now though! Michelle--sounds like you're feeling better lately--is that right? I've been keeping my fingers crossed for you :D

Thanks you guys! You are wonderful! I am trying so hard to think positively, but you know how it is...

Staci-I am sorry you are having anxiety. I think we all go through it from time to time. Just try and focus on what you view to be a positive outcome.... I've been there where we can sometimes think about the negative but then everything always turns out to be good and I think to myself "silly girl". We all go through it just be patient and positive. Take things day by day as you try and work on your thoughts... You will get through this, girl. ROBYN-Thanks! Last yr and the beginning of this yr have been somewhat dedicated to health problems. I got married and it was abit uncomfortable to have to throw this on my dh but it brought us closer together. He says that he now has a Phd in women inside and out! Lol! I am going to go ahead and have it. Things will fall into place, I really believe it. You know girls... Having a family means so much to me... I lost my family... My parents abused me physically and sexually as a child up into my late teens. I walked away but didn't know that everyone would turn against me. It hurt. I have always been a loving person. So, I finally confronted both parents by sending them ltrs in 2001. Never spoke to them again... Walked away and ended up 3600 miles away. Although, I was alone at first. God brought me some great friends... Then he brought me a husband and soon kids... I will finally have a family. Although, we didn't have the reception, last yr. I am somewhat happy. You see, I was alittle embarrassed that I would not have family (a mother, father, sister, etc) to support me and others would see and know this... Uggh! Sorry to vent... But I am somewhat OK with it now. My Dh is wonderful! I am actually freely expressing myself and allowing myself to love since we have been together. It is so wonderful!!! I feel so free but you know it still angers me what my parents did and I never confronted them, face to face. I also thought about doing it before I get pregnant but I know that it might be too stressful on me... My husband would come with me... My husband and I discussed it tonight and we will wait until we have kids, get settled and then return if by then I even desire that. Everyone feels I will be more secure once my family is complete.... Although, I am elated to be here on earth... I never understand those who have children and abuse them. Although, the odds were set to be against me because of what I experienced... I made it. I didn't resort to alcohol, drugs or violence. And I didn't become a lesbian. I am only addicted to shopping and decorating... He he he!

Thanks, Jodi. I do think that I would regret not having it...

Ms Monet - i am so sorry you had to endure that its the most awful thing to do a child i have words that i will not post it absolutely sickens me to my core you are a very very strong person and you are truly blessed to have found a husband that loves you and supports you. You will have a family and will be complete. We focus so much on the infertility and becoming pregnant that it consumes us. I am so addicted to this site that i had to take my computer with me. Its crazy. But your priority is yes getting pregnant but doing something for the both of you. You deserve that.

Hi girls, I know I havee been MIA lately.
I have to take some time and read through all the threads to see what has been going on.
As most of you know, I am pg with twins.
I went to my first OB appointment Tuesday, and on one of the twins they found a thickening of the neck which can me a marker for down syndrome. I got 2 other opinions, and it is definately there. Yesterday I took a CVS test where they take a piece of the placenta and test it. PLEASE PRAY WITH ME that my baby will be ok.
The only thing that is keeping me sane right now is that they did see a nose on the baby, which is a postive thing. Babies with downs dont have noses that show up on the ultrasound.

Barzee - OMG i will pray pray and more than pray that this works out for you. What do you do in this situation? What options have the doctors presented to you. Can anything effect the other twin. I am so very sorry. Please keep us posted you are very much in my thoughts.

Barzee--praying for you. Keep us updated. Stac