wife tried to abort baby over csection
20 Replies
Matt H. - March 18

Hi,
I posted earlier this week, and I wanted to thank everyone for your responces, as I believe they may have saved my childs life. My wife has a morbid fear of a csection, and as you may remember we tried for 4 years to get pregnant. She is 26 weeks pregnant and two nights ago when I came home from work, she was acting odd. I decided to show her the emails you folks wrote and she started to cry and confessed that she had just taken a whole bottle of tylonal Pm in a hope to end our childs life (and her own) instead of having a csection. I rushed her to the hospital and she has been perminatly admitted untill our baby is born. Because of your responces and her reaction to them our baby and her are still alive and safe. If I hadnt shown her those at that time she and our child may have died. I am pretty shaken up over this and will include all of you who took the time to respond in kind ways in my prayers every night for as long as I am alive as I may now be able to be a father and hopefully a husband once my wife gets her senses back. I plan to help her as much as I can. Although I lost my temper pretty bad when I took her to the hospital.(I did yell) I relize that this is just temporary and that after the baby is born she may come around. I think it is the fear of losing the baby that caused her to want to just control the loss herself. Her mother is flying down this weekend to stay out here indefinatly to help my wife in the hospital and help after baby is born. The doctors confirmed yesterday that they believe we are very lucky and that our quick reaction probably ensured little to no damage to my soon to be daughter. Once again thank you for your kind words. May you all be blessed. Matt H.

 

patty - March 18

i followed your last post- it seems so hard to believe that over a c-section your wifw would do such a dramatic thing ! i am ttc for one year now.---have pcos possibly endo -i need lapaoroscopy--when they operate you---yes---i need an operation just to look at my insides---and i am not even pregnant---and do not even knew if i can actually get pregnant ! many woman need an operation without even carrying a baby !---so it is insane that over a c-section your wife wanted to abort ! if you ask a million women who are having difficulty conceiving 99 percent would say they would do anything to get pregnant ! and a c-section would definetely NOT stop them from wanting to fulfill their dream !

 

Nancy - March 18

Hi Matt H, hope you are doing fine...i read your other thread and decided to post here...Thank God that your wife and your baby is ok...Stay being supportive to your wife, you need a lot of patience and love for her and your baby. Always give her the assurance that there is nothing wrong with C section. Maybe you could also ask the ob-gyn's help of reassuring your wife that she will definitely be fine and ok with csection. My husband and I been trying to have a baby for 2 yrs, we got pregnant but ended up miscarriage, you are so lucky that after waiting for 4 years you are blessed so don't waste that opportunity to be parents to this wonderful miracle. I do have a lot of friends undergo csection and some of them even prefers to have a csection even if they can deliver their baby vaginally, my friend said that having a csection is much better coz there's no pain and long labor and just a matter of 10 to 15 mins your baby will be out. I guess all soon to be moms are different but i really don't think that having a csection can be so frightening. Just tell your wife to relax and there's really nothing to worry about csection 10mins and then it's done, you won't feel anything at all. I really pray to God that your wife will be ok...i'm sure she's going to love this baby when she comes out. Just be strong Matt H for you, your wife and your baby.

 

Justine1 - March 18

Matt - I'm so sorry to hear your wife tried to kill herself and your baby but so thankful it was caught in time to save her and your daughter. I'm glad too that she's got such a lovely and supportive husband to help her through this - its you who saved their lives. Its good that her mother is coming down to stay indefinately - I think that will help her a lot, mums are great! I'm sure you'll make a lovely family when the time comes. Your wife will need a lot of love and support but she will get better and soon you'll have a beautiful daughter too.

 

Lynn - March 18

Matt H. I pray that peace will come your way and thankful you got this all in time. Good luck to you, your wife and your daughter. I hope god finds a special place for all of you.

 

crystal - March 18

she is so lucky to have you. you are a great man to stick around and continue to love her unconditionaly and that baby. i hope everything turns out well. i know once she hold her little baby girl in her arms, her heart will melt. i wish you guys the best

 

Ann - March 19

Matt, as tough as your situation is, this is great news. I am so glad your wife and baby are safe. Obviously your wife is not thinking clearly, and once she has the baby, everything will work out. Try to be strong the next few months. Best of luck to you and your family.

 

Galina - March 19

Dear Matt, I too flollowed your last post and kept your family in my prayers. I am relieved for you and your family and will pray for a healthy baby and good health to your wife. There will be a day that you guys will wipe away these bad memories and just look at your beautiful baby, smile and build many wonderful new memories. I wish you the VERY BEST from teh bottom of my heart. G-d bless you, your wife and your baby. :)

 

isa - March 19

Matt it is wonderful to hear you were able to save your wife and daughter. Try and keep in mind she is not herself and that something biochemical is probably at the route of her instability and irrational thinking. Many women go on and have healthy lives once they are diagnosed correctly and get the help they need. I'm sure your wife will get the help she needs and before you know it you will be a dad, her a mom and she'll be back to being the wonderful woman you know her to be. Don't give up on her,keep the faith and let the doctors/psychiatrists do their magic. You are a wonderful loving man and you should be commended for your actions for not only finding this site but requesting the help you needed and getting her the help she needed too. You're in my prayers.

 

Mega - March 19

I'm thankful that your story is going to have a happy ending. As other posters have said, you're the hero in all this for saving your wife & baby and getting her the help she so desperately needs. Have a wonderfully blessed, healthy life with your beautiful daughter. You all are in my thoughts & prayers. Take care!

 

Jayeln - March 20

Hey Matt, you are a fine man and will make a fantastic father, for you have already put the needs of your child over male pride (by asking for help!). I hope she doesn't have to have a c-section. I did and they are very painful, don't know why the one poster said there is no pain? During the actual delivery there is a lot pressure, pulling and tugging and there can be some pain when they push down on the top of your stomach to get the baby out. It is afterwards that there is the real pain, so be strong if she really does end up with one. I really think you need to find out who felt she needed to be informed of a c-section before she even had hit the 2/3rds mark. A lot of things happen and change before term and then during the last few weeks. If she really doesn't want a c-section, that is certainly more normal than wanting one so support her. Most people don't want operations unless absolutely necessary and I understand her fear, but not to the point of wanting an operative abortion of course. Glad she and your baby are safe.

 

olivia - March 20

Hi Matt, I followed this from the c-section board. You have been in my prayers and I am so thankful that your wife and baby are safe. You are very brave and do trust that the doctors will get your wife's emotions back on track and that the woman you married is still in there despite her current depression. She will come back to you and you will be a daddy too! I had a c-section and everything went very well. My husband and I were very frightened but as soon as they put my daughter in my husbands arms there nothing in the world that mattered more. He got to carry her out of the O.R. in his shaking arms and nothing could have made me more proud. God Bless you and I'll be praying for a full recovery for your wife. Good luck on the road ahead.

 

Tracy - March 20

Matt, you sound like such a great guy. I am glad that you and your wife have made progress on this and wish you and your beautiful family the best!

 

CC - March 20

Matt, you should be proud of yourself the way you have handled things. I am glad your wife sounds like she is where she needs to be for the duration of her pregnancy. I hope she gets some help and is able to do some soul searching. May you both be blessed with this baby, and have all the happiness and health you deserve.

 

Pinky - March 20

I can not beleive your wife did this!!!!!!!.....Thank God both of them are fine. Good luck

 

ConfusedMom2B - March 21

God bless you, your wife, and your unborn baby girl.

 

Action - March 21

Your being in tune to your wife has saved her and your child... I really think things will get better with all of the wonderful support from you, her mom, and the docs. Denial is what makes these things worse. I think your wife is acting like someone with postpartum psychosis. I had a light case of postpartum depression or severe case of baby blues after my c-section. Before my experience I thought ps or pd was bs but now I know differently. There are so many hormonal changes. I didn't want to be around the baby, felt guilty about that, wished I hadn't had a baby, wanted to die, and had horrible hot flashes. I started experiencing this the day after I came home from the hospital and went to the doc because I was scared. She told me she had gone through the same thing and it would get better soon and if it got any worse to contact her. She even gave me anti depressants (which I didn't end up taking.....I told myself I would if it got worse). Fortunately talking about it with my husband(I was too ashamed to tell anyone else), going outdoors, joining a mommy and me group, and time helped me get back to my normal self. Now I am happy and love my baby more than anything. Your family is still in my prayers.

 

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