When will the pain of ttc stop
9 Replies
Shannon - February 19

DH and I have been trying for 2.5 years. All my married friends are either pregnant, have a child or pregnant with their second child. I just found out another friend of mine is pregnant. It really drives me crazy because she told me that if she could never have kids she wouldn't care. What do you know - comes off the pill after 15 years, isn't regular and is pregnant in two months. Life is so unfair. I am not sure how to cope anymore. It just hurts so bad to want something and not be able to get it. I have unexplained infertility. I have tried clomid 5 times and nothing but cysts and crazy hormones. Does it ever get easier? I guess I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like it is never going to happen and this makes me really sad. We are going to try a fertility clinic but I am even doubtful that this will work. I wonder, am I just not supposed to have children.


wannabeamom - February 19

I can understand your pain. I am going through similiar pain. Try to remain positive. I know it is difficult. I had to stay away from my married friends who were pregnant for a while. I explained to them that I am happy for them but it is a painful time for me. They understood. The people on this site are full of positive hope and are great to vent to. they have a lot of great insite. I found this site a couple of days ago and already feel stronger. I just try to think about what I do have. Goodluck and keep trying.


Know the feeling - February 19

I wish I could say soon but I don't know. Me and DH have been trying for the same amount of time as you and no results yet. When I hear those words "I'm pregnant" it feels like someone put their arm down my throat and ripped my heart out. It seems every other month someone else gets pregnant without trying! And we are still waiting after 2.5 years. Just remember good things come to those who wait, and you will have your turn. Good luck.


shannon - February 20

Thank you for your kind words. It is so difficult to stay positive. Some days are easier than others. I am trying to focus on other things but hearing my friends tell me they are pregnant always seems to throw me for a loop. I am hoping that things turn around for me and good luck to both of you.


J - February 20

Shannon, don't lose hope! We tried for 3 1/2 years before going to a fertility clinic. We were told that, due to my husband's sperm motility and morphology, we only had a 5% chance of conception. We decided to try IUI for a couple of months even though the doctor wasn't very hopeful, and I got pregnant on the first try!! I am now 29 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. I have been there and I know how you feel. Every single one of my married friends had at least one child during the time that we were trying, and some of them had two. I know it's heartwrenching, but believe me, it makes it that much more special when it does happen for you. You are doing the right thing by seeking help. I wish we had done it sooner. Good luck to you!!


jg - February 20

Unless you think you can come to terms with not ever having a child, I am sorry to say that the pain of TTC does not go away until you have a baby, and believe me, all that pain goes away in a heartbeat! My DH and I TTC for five looooong years and although it was supposedly medically impossible for us to have a baby, after 5 IVF attempts and seemingly billions of other treatments, we fell pregnant naturally with the help of clomid. All the buckets of tears, the heartache, the physical pain in our hearts, the desperation, the emotion, the helplessness, the anger, the despair, is just washed away in an instant as soon as you hold that little baby in your arms. I think back now and wonder how I ever coped. There were times when I could understand why people self-harm, because I felt although I cried myself into the pit of despair every month, I just felt like those tears were not enough to express the stabbing pain I was feeling. Wow that was really hard to say, but ladies, you must hang on and try and try and try for as long as you are able. You cannot possibly imagine the absolute rapture of having a baby. My son is now eight months old, and I do not take him for granted for a second! The tears I cry now are for joy and amazement. Not a day goes by when I do not thank God for this perfect gift, and the love you feel wipes away any feelings of the past. Good luck everyone - I do know how you feel, and now I know just how incredible it is to keep on trying until you achieve your goal. The blessings far far far outweigh the pain and desperation of TTC.


shannon - February 20

hearing everyone's stories makes me feel more optimistic. I didn't know if I wanted to go through with the fertility clinic but hearing your experiences makes me feel like I have the strenght to try it. I was worried about the procedures and wondered if I really wanted to go through all of that but hearing the joy from the mothers makes me want to continue on. Thank you and good luck to everyone.


Ann - February 20

Shannon, I have been ttc for almost 2 years, and I don't think it will ever get easier except if getting a BFP. What you said about your friend saying she wouldn't care struck a cord with me. I say the same thing to people, because I don't want them to feel sorry for me if it doesn't work. Maybe that isn't the case with her, though. I am glad that you are going to see a RE. The way I see it is that we have to try everything we can to get pg. I don't want to look back in 5 years and wish I had tried harder/gone to greater lengths. I too wonder if I am just not supposed to have children. It can get very depressing. I am glad you are feeling more positive!


jcr - February 20

I too know your pain, we tried for 6 years naturally before concieving out daughter. I wish I would have had my dh's support to go to a fertility clinic or at least consult with a Dr. We tried for 1.5 years for baby #2. I had one m/c almost a year ago. Broke my heart. I tried clomid, metformin, accupuncture. Finally 1 round of femara, metformin and hcg did it for me. I am very fortunate, but very afraid of m/c. Shannon, don't be afraid of fertility clinics. They can help! If they don't let me tell you, before and after having my daughter I would hold babies and fall in love immediately with them. Some, I could have taken home. I would love to adopt 1 when I am finished with baby #2. There is so much to love and whether it is from you or a gift from god and another loving mother, it is possible to have a child and love it like crazy. Hang in there! Bellyrubs.


shannon - February 21

It makes me happy to hear everyone's success stories. I feel a bit more optimistic now.



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