TTC #1 and over 34?
418 Replies
Tracy88 - August 30

Laurie, it's nice to hear things worked out with the HSG. I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday, I got into a major funk. I left my house to run my pre-tropical storm errands when I got a call on my cell from DH. He said he had something to tell me and wanted me to know before I was suckerpunched with the news. His brother's wife just got a BFP. I can't really get into the details about why this hit me so hard without writing a novel, but this is the same girl who smirked when I told her clomid didn't work for me and I was due for a lap. This is the same brother who ragged on my husband when he confided that we were having trouble conceiving, this is the same couple who is miserable every day of their lives and do nothing but complain about each other. So I cried my eyes out until I became numb. I am still reeling with anger and resentment, but trying to find peace within myself through reading Buddhist proverbs and inspirational quotes. I know my anger will get me nowhere, but this one just hit very close to home for some reason. I'll come around and take the high road, I always do, but for now, I just want to cry.

 

Kristi1 - August 30

I'm sorry Tracy, I wish there was something I could do help you.... I think that is the hardest part of this whole process, is knowing people who probably dont need or deserve to be a parent are the ones that have no problem getting pg and those of us who would make great parents and will provide loving homes are the ones who struggle at it. It just never seems fair. My 19 year old unwed neice has a 2 year old baby, that was rough...and one of my best friends is pg with her 4th, she is also unwed and did not want more kids, was even on the pill and got pg, then actually came to me crying for weeks about how she did not want this baby! Its just so hard to understand it all. So, now that I probably did nothing to cheer you ;-), I hope you are doing better today!

 

Tracy88 - August 30

Kristi, everything you said is true. I think that's why this bothers me so much. Thank you for sharing though....that's what we are here to do. I'm really on the brink of crying again. I talked to my sister earlier and it almost started, but I held back. Sometimes it just takes talking to the right person to bring on the waterworks. I broke down in front of my Neurologist yesterday. He is also into psychiatry, so he just knew something was weighing on me. He has also spoken to my fertility doc, so he knows about my struggle. Yesterday he confided in me that his wife had trouble TTC and actually saw the same doc I am seeing now. I said, "Please tell me she got pregnant." and he replied with a yes, so all I can do is persevere. That's all any of us can do. It will pay off at some point. A saying I found yesterday that somehow helps right now is, "Try and fail, but don't fail to try." That and, "Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." I guess the lessons there are perseverence and patience.

 

meme_g - August 30

Hi ladies - I'm back from Atlanta. We had a good time. We brought our dog - Georgia (a standard poodle) whom we love dearly...and our friends have a beagle. Well for 4 days straight the beagle just kept chasing Georgia and driving her crazy - so she is so happy to be home - has hardly moved all day. Too funny! Anyway - I had told DH we should BD last night as I thought I was getting close. I mentioned I'm using the OV Watch - well, we got home about 11:30 from driving back from Atlanta and took care of a few things and BD'ed. Yeah - because the watch switches at midnight, and it showed Fertile Day 01 meaning today is CD11 and FD01 and we did last night yeah! The watch gives you a 6 day window - FD 01-04, then OV1 and OV2. So they recommend twice during the FD 01-04 period and then once during OV 01-02. So - we got in one nookie try on FD 01 and I must say wow! - we hadn't done since like Wed/Thurs before and it was good! And there's more...

 

hopeful-for-one - August 30

Tracy, I feel for you & completely understand what you are feeling & have felt it myself many times. I have 2 sisters that are unwed with toddlers of their own when I try & try & nada. It makes you miserable, frustrated, & feeling worthless at ttc. You just have to tell yourself that things happen for a reason (although I would LOVE to know the reason why we are all having such a hard time ttc). I work in the court system so I see people all the time that are alcoholics & druggies that have babies and/or are pregnant without a care in the world for the babies. It just drives me absolutely nuts to see these people day in & day out to have kids & not care about them when there are so many people out there who can't have kids & would offer a much better loving environment for these kids. it is especially hard lliving in Utah were it is mormon country & everyone just about has a minimum of 5 kids to a family. Oh well. Tracy I hope that you are out of Ernesto's harm & stay safe. Baby dust to all! ~j~

 

meme_g - August 30

We originally got our dog from a breeder in ATL, so when we were there, I took Georgia back to see her. Louise was thrilled and I met her best friend and fellow breeder Karen. Well - we all just bonded immediately, and I think Karen asked me if I had kids - because I'm Georgia's mama and refer to myself that way and that I know lots about kids (remember I take care of my nephew many days a week). So I just happily said, not yet, but we sure are trying. So she said some nice things, and then just before I was leaving she told me about her sister. She had diabetes - doc's said no way would she ever get pregnant, and she tried for like 18 mos, and nothing. So Karen says do you want me to pray for you - ask for healing and pregnancy? I'm like, absolutely - what can it hurt? So she says - well it did work for my sister she got pregnant the next month. I'm thinking - I will try anything - so bring it on. So she did - a lovely healing prayer to fix anything if it needs it, and then I'm a good person and ready to be a parent and so please give this to her. It was just an amazing experience. So I'm not typically inthe habit of taking prayer from strangers - but it was just such a fluke - that this Monday she decided to call Louise and mate the dogs that day - and it coincided with my trip. So here's to the OV watch, healing prayers and the mantra - we will all get pregnant, we WILL ALL get pregnant. Now - on to Tracy and your story - I can completely relate - I'll share it in just a sec...

 

meme_g - August 30

I knew y'all missed me - with my long-winded messages and blah blahs - but I love this site and chatting with you guys, so lots of nookie wishes to those trying - I was thinking of you guys with the IUI's and praying for you this weekend - I do hope it all works.

Now for my story - when DH and I got 'mauied', yes we got married in Maui - 4 years ago we just went and took two sets of friends with us - good neighbors and friends of DH from England. Well these friends from England were always anti - kids, hate them, they're expensive and we like our freedom. DH & I were never kid haters but took our time deciding if it was right for us and when we decided - then we became very excited about trying. But we always understood choices people want to make. So earlier this year, our friends knew we were trying and asked how it was going and DH says, well the trying is awesome but no luck. So the guy says - what the hell is wrong with you - your boys not working, ha ha.. Well enjoy it man - you know kids suck and are a big hassle, so don't worry if it doesn't work out, and DH is like - yeah ok whatever. DH asks him about trying, and again he's like hell no - maybe she wants one, but I'm not interested. This was like us trying for 6 mos. Then at 9 mos, the guy MSN's my DH - only it was actually me at our home pc, and tells us his news! They are pregnant and oh yeah, we are now 4 mos pg. So when he was giving my DH all this crap AND saying he didn't want one - he already knew that they were pg, the girl just didn't want to tell anyone until they got past 1st trimester. Needless to say - I politely got off that MSN chat and just crumbled - I was absolutely devasted. Devastated that he was such an a$$ to my DH but also these were kid haters - didn't want them and didn't like them, and then drops in oh yeah and it was on the first try. Again - I just fell apart - as now it was like 9 mos for us with nothing, and these horrible evil people get a baby first try AND he gives my sweet, lovely nicest man you'll ever meet DH crap. How dare he!!! Well DH was devastated as well, and to be honest the friendship has just died. After I found out, I spoke to two of my friends and they were just great - they were like be mad, cry (I was like yeah I think I got the market cornered on that - I wasn't crying, I was SOBBING) you are entitled to hate this and be mad & upset. Anyway they were wonderful - so hopefully Tracy we can provide some support to you. I know you can't just let the relationship go since she's your SIL, but I know we all understand how horribly unfair it is. Let's just keep the mantra going - we will all get pregnant, we will all get pregnant. Big hugs and baby dust!!

 

Kristi1 - August 30

Meme good to see you back and that you found our new thread!! Sounds like you had good time, and I hope the extra prayers work! I have two min schnauzers that are our babies....they are the most spoiled dogs you have ever seen and we treat them just like out kids!! Don't know what I would do without them really.... Laurie, glad the HSG went well... Stacie, Natasha how are things going? Tracy, Meme, Hopeful and everyone, we just have to remember that our day will come.....

 

baby1234 - August 31

Hi everyone! Tracy, I totally understand how you are feeling. We've been trying for close to 2 years. During that time, there have been 6 babies born to people we have close relationships with. A SIL, three best friends, 2 close cousins all became prego on the first or second try. One of them even had the nerve to say, "We only did it once this month." UGGGGGG! The latest is a cousin of my husband's. She got married just 12 months ago and went on and on about how she didn't want kids, blah, blah, blah. She is due in a week. I can't even bring myself to go to family functions if I know she will be there. I know it sounds horrible to people who don't understand all the TTC feelings you get, but I just had the hardest time not feeling sorry for myself and an incredible anger toward her. I do like her, and on some level I am happy for her, but come on. I am only human! There is only so much a person can take! Tracy, I feel your pain. Please keep the faith that we all will get pregnant! To all the other ladies: Meme, have loads of fun the next few days! Kristi, how are you doing? What day are you on now? Natasha, hope all is going well with you. How are you doing? Laurie, glad to hear the hsg went well. Be one of those pregnant right after the hsg statistics! Hopeful, did you O yet? My situation is still moving fast. Went to the dr for a scan today and found I have five follicles: 27, 23, 22, 21, and 16. The four bigger ones are on the right (hope that doesn't mean I am in for it when I O!). I do the trigger shot tonight in about 15 minutes. I am doing 2 IUIs again, Thursday and Friday (CD 10 and 11 and still before I should have started af if I didn't start so early--does that make sense?). My lining is thicker than it was with clomid and measures a nice 9 so no supplements there. Yeah! I will get to test on the 15th. Maybe this will be the month. Back to our mantra: we will all get pregnant, we will all get pregnant! I am so thankful for you guys! I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you all to talk to about all this stuff! Sticky baby dust to all...Stacie

 

Tracy88 - August 31

You guys are the best, and the fact that you are allowing me the time to wallow in self pity, shows your good nature! Stacie, wow, my eggs weren't even that big, but they were big enough. I think when I ovulated I had four good sized follies and ovulation HURT! My whole abdomen just hurt and it actually hurt to sit. I didn't care as long as babies were possibly on the horizon. Thanks again for your stories guys. I have so many people praying for me and hoping that this is my month, that if it's not, I think I'll resort to drinking, smoking crack, and selling my body to see if that works!!!

 

Tracy88 - August 31

You know what, I lied, at least three of my follies were comparable to yours Stacie. I also meant to say YAY!!!!! I'm happy that you stimmed so well and I'm hoping for great things for you !

 

Kristi1 - August 31

Hi ladies! Stacie, I am on cd18, 4dpo....so just waiting.... Hope everyone is doing well today. I will check back later!

 

baby1234 - August 31

Well, IUI #1 is complete. Everything went well and dh's count was double what it was last time! Dr. was very happy. Started saying stuff like they don't do returns or babysitting. #2 will be tomorrow and I hope dh's soldiers will again be there in full force. As far as the ovulation pains, they've already started so I will be in for it by tomorrow afternoon. Oh, well, if this is it, it will be worth it. Keep your fingers crossed for me. We will all get pregnant, right?!!? Thanks for the good wishes. Sticky dust to all... Stacie

 

NatashaV - September 1

Hi ladies, boy I missed a lot. Well, I'm on cd2..yep, af arrived. I'm proud to say that I didn't cry this time..that's an improvement! I'm starting to try to get used to the idea that I may never conceive, some days it feels awful and other days I think there are worse things in life (like my cousin who's 30 and is now in a wheelchair because she has terrible MS). I think part of me HAD to let go of some of the emotional aspects of ttc..it was just way too hard. But, I haven't given up yet and you ladies help to keep me motivated! I'm starting on capsule herbs today from the acupuncturist (and still doing the acupunture), so maybe that'll help? Tracy, BOY can I understand your feelings around the SIL and pregnancy among those around you. Suffice to say that my best friend is 9 months pg and they didn't want kids! (never mind that I'm the reason they got pg..told her about OPK's..she was O-ing on cd 6! so it may never have happened otherwise). Also, about 2 years ago, I knew 10 (literally) women all thinking they'd start to try. Well, 2 years later, they ALL have babies except for me and one other woman. Some of them are now onto #2..these are not just friends but some are also family, so there's no getting them out of my life either (although I have to admit that a few of them have been axed from my life..I couldn't help it, and frankly mustn't have really loved their friendship to begin with if I let them go, right?) Anyway, it sounds like a few of you are on the 2ww..baby dust to all of you..may this be the month!!!

 

Tracy88 - September 1

Stacie, good luck tomorrow with IUI #2!!! I had ovulation pains when I went in for IUI#2 as well. I hope this is a lucky month for both of us. Natasha, I've been where you are right now....got AF and didn't cry. Some months have just been easier than others. I am sorry that she showed, but glad to hear that you are strong right now. I wish I had your strength at this moment. Just had a long talk with DH about SIL. That helped too because he didn't understand why I was so devastated.....now he does. He is optimistic though, so I guess I just have to press on. Take care girls.

 

Tracy88 - September 1

Kristi, the waiting sux doesn't it????

 

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