Trying to understand men forum??
6 Replies
mg - February 13

I have been on this website for almost a year now, and have seen many different forums about different topic. The one I havent seen but feel it could be very benificial is a forum about trying to understand our men (and behaviors) during this trying time. Like most men my DH is a man of very few words, and when it come to dealing with fertitliy issues he is copes completly different then me. Example, he needs to go in for a SA tommorrow, but he has been very reluctant about wanting me in the room ( I even offered to help) This makes me feel very sad and insecure becouse its like WHy doesnt he want me in the room, I am his wife. Is it becouse hes embaressed? Is he afraid that he may not give the best sample if I help? I just dont understand, and I am not sure how willing he will be to discuss this. But maybe another women has gone through this or has a different perspective I havent thought of. So hopefully this will be the start of the men forum.


MuzikGurl - February 13

My DH said (hope you don't mind I read this aloud to him to get his prospective) but, he said that maybe he's afraid you're going to be too tempting to mess with instead of getting the job done and staying focused...if that makes sense. Maybe he just doesn't want you to see him you said maybe he's afraid we won't give his best efforts if you're there to distract him. You can tell him that studies have shown that men do "squirt" out more semen when fully relaxed and in the "zone" per say than men who are focused and pressured and not in their comfortable habitat. It's strange I know but, it has been proved through a bunch of studies. Don't feel sad at least you did get your husband to do a SA, mine still hasn't gone but, it took a lot of talking just for him to say ok when the dr. ask for him to do it he will. Strangely our new dr. hasn't asked yet, but as already put me on Clomid. Humm...assumtions. Well, anyways...hope this helps and maybe others will respond to you...dont' stress over it just let him go through the SA thing alone...and you just wait outside the big deal...the last thing we need is stress...and maybe it's just me but I don't see this being one of those big deals to be stressing over. But, anyways...good luck and let me know how it goes!!! Take Care!


Dianna - February 13

He may feel that he can be the cause of you not conceiving. A lot of men don't feel like a man if they find out they can't produce.Some Dh will feel you will leave them to conceive with another man.This is just my thought. Don't make a big deal out of being in the room with him, It will just cause more stress and you wil be stressing your self as well. Even if you don't understand just be there to support him that will go a long way. If your DH is doing a SA that is a big step. You must be able to support one another just remember what you are doing this for. A BABY. Baby dust``````````````


Tracy - February 13

I agree with the other girls. It took my DH three months to find the time to go get his done. I went and picked up the cup, and when we were out one night, I even showed him the building where he had to drop it off. I know he was afraid to find out he had no swimmers, because when he found out he did, he made a big, manly deal out of it to me. He is nervous enough as it is and it's probably easier for him to relax without any outside influences distracting him......yes, even you. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, he just needs to focus and stay as relaxed as possible given the situation. Good luck.


SashaP - February 13

mg it took my dh 6 months to do it. I even brought it to the lab for him. About a week before he agreed to do it he told me the reason why he was putting it off was that he thought I would leave him if we couldn't have a child b/c of him. But as soon as he found out his results of 68 mill. everybody from work brought him out for a beer. Men are just very strange in how they deal with things.


mg - February 13

Well he did tell me why, he like if this isnt emabarressing and uncomfortable enough we have to talk about it. He said he thinks he would have an easier time getting it all in the cup if I wasnt there. I just left it at that, he went in the morning did his thing and left. I feel so bad for him he didnt make eye contact with me once before or after ( hes very shy about that type of stuff) I was joking with and asked him if I was going to come home and find him curled up in the fetal position in the shower staring at the wall. I not sure he thought it was so funny. But he has been willing to do whatever he needs to do without questions or fuss, he really wants this so he has to do his part. I just need to make sure I give him his space when he needs it.


Tracy - February 13

MG--glad you guys got it done and also understand each other. I'm glad he communicated with you. Best of luck to you both.



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