trying and frustrated
6 Replies
Kelly - August 19

I had been on the pill for approximately 13 years. I came off in December and my husband and I have been trying since May. I know it is still early but we both want this so bad. I used the ovulation test this month and then, my period was late and I was excited. However, the HPT was negative, the blood work was inconclusive and then I got a period. I went to the doctor today who basically told me I was crazy and I needed counseling. It was really awful! She said that I shouldn't be using those ovulation tests! Can anyone give me some advice?


chicks - August 19

Hey Kelly! Sorry about your BFN.. You're doctor sounds like a bastard. Don't ever let a doctor tell you that you need counselling because you thought you may have been preggo. A woman's intuition is more powerful than a doctor's. You could very well have had a chemical pregnancy.. What does an inconclusive blood test mean? I hate that word.. My advice would be to continue using the OPK's to see if you are ovulating because if you're not, that will be your first clue that you may need some assistance. I wish I had started using them earlier because I wasn't ovulating for ten months of trying! It's been a year now, and I think I finally ovulated on my own with the Metformin that I'm on because I was recently DX with PCOS. I understand you wanting it bad, we feel the same way, but it's taking us forever to get there. I wish you all the luck in the world and you continue to do whatever you want to do, and don't let doctors make you feel bad for feelings that you have or doing things that you feel will help you.. Good luck and Baby Dust to you!


KellyN - August 19

I can't believe your doc told you that! They are the ones that are crazy, not you. You should definitely see a new doctor.


Anna - August 19

Kelly, that was an awful thing thing for your md to say! Why would she even say something like that? Obviously she doesn't understand what it's like to really want a child, but have diificulty getting PG. I would get a new md-one who is more sensitive towards what your feeling. But that's just me.LOL! I've, also, been trying since beginning of May after being on BC for four years. It's been kinda a mess for me since then....that BC really messed me up(along with crazy cycles in the first place!). My advice would be to continue using the ovulation tests(that's what my OB/GYN told me to use) and maybe start checking your temps every day. A lot of women have found that to be helpful. And remember that it could take a while....especially after being on BC for so long. Good luck girl and I hope you'll be announcing a bfp for us soon! *baby dust*


isa - August 19

Any doc who tells you that you are crazy is an embarrasment to their profession and extremely unprofessional. If it were me i'd be finding a new doc but you have to decide that. This is an emotional time and you need supportive docs. I started doing opks back in Feb and havent used them every month as sometimes it just doesnt work out with me (ie travelling etc) but on the whole it has given me a great deal of comfort to know when the right time is and that i do have an lh surge etc. I use it in conjunction with bbt and it is a great combo i think. My investigative cycle showed i am ok and everything i had been learning about my body from the bbt was dead on. I ov'd when i thought i did. My temps were as they should be etc. Not sure how old you are but if over 35 give it 6 months then get a referral to a specialist. If under than they say give it a year UNLESS you discover things on your own like low or high temps, no ov, no lh surge, no period etc. Then take the info you have with you and why you think their might be a prob and discuss with doc. I thought my temps were too low and that was why we werent pg but found out my temps are ok its dh that has the problem. so best advice and if you can afford the opk go for it. .I use clear blue easy and I'm afraid to try another brand since it works for me. I tried a cheap internet one for a cycle or 2 and went back to clear blue because the cheap ones never showed the line and i didnt trust them.


Becky - August 22

I totally understand how you feel. I went off the pill a year ago because we wanted to try for our 2nd child. I had no problem getting pregnant the first time. Then in December, I had no period. Thinking I was pregnant, the doctor concluded that I wasn't. He gave me Provera to start a period and it came finally 2 months late. Then in March, I got pregnant and unfortunately I lost it at 9 weeks. I had a D&C, got a period 6 weeks after that then exactly 28 days later. Everything seemed to go back to normal so we decided to try again. I was supposed to start Aug 1st and it never came so I was excited and took a HPT. It was negative. After a couple of frustrating weeks I went back to the doctor and he acted like I was crazy and kept telling me that I need to take a chill pill and stop stressing over getting pregnant. He gave me provera again and this time he gave me the Metformin. He told me I had PCOS, which blew me away because I had never heard of it before. I had been normal my whole life up until a year ago. I don't understand how things can change that suddenly. I've been through an emotional roller coaster and I thought he should have been a little more sensitive to my needs, especially after having a miscarriage.


For Kelly...from XOkimXO - August 22

Hello. First off let me say this to you, forget the doctor you have now and find one that understands and takes your feelings seriously. I became pregnant in Dec. only to M/C in march. My doc posponed my D & C for 2 weeks which made me walk aroudn with the fetus still inside me. If that was not bad enough, the day of my D&C she had me take a pill for the pain, well she was running 2 hours late and proceded to do the D&C while i was awake while the pain meds were wearing off. It was a horrible experience and not to mention traumatizing as well. I was so scared to go back to a OBGYN up until my fertility doc recommended a man who has a wife and kids. This man showed me that docs can have a heart and that not all docs have no feelings towards anything. Each month that passes and i get my period i want to crawl into a whole. The whole process may feel like an eternity yet 4 months is not a whole lotta time to be trying. Trust me when i say a week feels like a month and a month feels like a year. But you have to be patient. The first step should be having your husbands semen checked with a semen analysis. We recently had one done which ruled out that the problem was with him. Even though i now know the problem lays within me, i feel better knowing that we ruled out alot. Just be patient and remember there are women out there that have been trying for years. 4 months is not considered a problem. Acutally most docs will tell ya that you are not considered a problem until you have been trying a year.



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