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You must realize right away that NO women enjoys showing her cooter to the doctor. However, you must also realize that 1) Doctors are professionals and are not "judging" you and your anatomy, they are trying to help you. 2) You need to get a hold of reality quickly because the reality of the situation is that women with PCOS will need many doctor visits to help them to conceive. 3) And most importantly, do not let vanity get in the way of your dreams to become a mother and have a healthy pregnancy in the future, because this is what is comes down to when you think of your fears and need to know why you have them. Good LUCK!!!

Oh, I also have PCOS, did you know that a symptom of this is low self esteem and depression, perhaps this may be contributing to your anxiety.

Andri, I completely understand how you feel. It's funny because I was just talking to a friend of mine about this very thing... How I used to absolutely dread the physicals. I would cry the night before and feel panic setting in weeks ahead of time. The reason I was able to get over the fear was actually 3 things: 1 - I knew I had to do this so that I could have a baby. And having a baby was far more important to me than worrying about a stranger looking at my V-JJ! 2 - With the number of vaginal ultrasounds I have had while TTC, it seriously is like going to the eye doctor now... not a big deal. No panic attacks, no tears, just "business". 3 - I thought, if I can't take care of myself in this way, how can I expect my daughter to take care of her self in the future. You have to love yourself enough to take care of yourself. The earlier the doctor can discover problems, the more likely the chance of fixing the problem. Take Care of YOU! Trust me, it's scary and horrible for the first couple of times, then it's okay. Try and think of something else that you were afraid of that you got over. And when you are at your appointment, which I know you will be making and going to, just keep doing deep breathing exercises and positive self-talk (in your head of cours... lol!). I kept telling myself- I need to do this to take care of me, to take care of my body. I need to do this so that I can bring that little soul into the world. I need to do this because it is the right thing to do. I need to do this to take care of me. Hope that helps a bit! Smiles!!!!
T

P.S. I also have PCOS. T

When I was younger, I have cried at the dr's office before! But, I have gotten used to the checks. It also helps to have a dr that you feel comfortable with. I prefer to go to a female ob/gyn, but with all my ttc issues I have gone to males as well and am ok with it now. I assume that you are ttc now. It is better that you face your fears and go now before you get pg. If you don't go after you are pg, your baby will suffer from that. I saw a special on tv several weeks ago where a young, healthy woman in her 20s hadn't been in for a pap smear in a few years. When she went in, the dr couldn't see her cervix, because it was blocked my a cancerous mass. She died a few months later of cervical cancer. You definitely should go and take care of yourself. Good luck!!

Andri, girl, put your fear behind you. I hated going to my gyn. I ended up going when I thought I was pg, but it turned out to be a 7 cm cyst. I ended up having a PAP, which showed extremely abnormal cells. I had a biopsy and a procedure called ALEAP. In the end everything turned out well, but my doc said that the cells were a begining of cervical cancer. Scared the living shit out of me, pardon my language. That was a reality check. I now have to go 2 times a year for a PAP. Dont be embarrased or ashamed. The whole thing takes 15 minutes and then you have a whole year with no worries. Be strong and do this for yourself. :)

andri- i dont have pcos but i can relate to the fears and the embarrassment of being exposed at the docs office. i have been trying to conceive for many years now (almost 10) with no luck because i was scared to go to the doc. after so long trying and no luck i decided that i had to go for me. if i ever wanted to conceive. well i went this year and had all the testing done and everything. and after a few visits i was alright. the first couple i know my blood pressure went up but i knew i had to do this if i wanted a family. so i did the first clomid cycle in june it didnt work. i took a month off and i did the 2nd clomid cycle at the beginning of august i had follicle monitoring (vaginal ultrasound) on days 5 days 11 and days 12 of my cycle on day 12 i had hcg trigger shot and on day 14 i had iui. well after all this and being exposed and embarrassed i took a hpt this mo rning and it was +. so it is really important that you go to the doctor. it does get easier after a few visits. also my doc was super nice he explained everything that he was doing and did everything he could to make me feel comfortable while i was there. he answered any questions that i had. it really helps when you are comfortable with the doc. also it helps if you take someone with you for support. i took my sister to most of my appointments. i took my dh to the last iui he got to watch it all and he was really amazed. he said that he now knew how strong women were to go through all of that to have a baby and he said he didnt think a man could do it. now he says that since he was in the room during the last iui that that was why i got a + this time because he was there supporting me..lol..it may be true who knows but i do think that it is important to have someone there for support. it really helps ease your mind. good luck