starting new thread-ttc#1 over 40
57 Replies
Citrine - June 27

Just wanted to join in and say hello. I am also 41 and ttc#1. My dh is older than me and has adult kids from a previous marriage. We've been together for years, but he has finally agreed to really put some effort into ttc. I don't have any health problems & have very regular cycles, so that keeps me somewhat hopeful things will work out. I have just quit smoking & am hoping that I didn't ruin all my eggs...I have been using pre-seed & Robotussin, just bought some raspberry tea, taking my pre-natals, joined a gym & quit smoking. My Dh though is very skittish about the whole thing though. And it seems like he is traveling every darn month at the wrong time. I should be ovulating tomorrow, and he caught an early flight out this morning. He'll be back tomorrow, so that's good. But we'll miss bding today. And then, last night...well, I guess he felt too much pressure. It was miserable. We couldn't pull it off & I felt like jumping off a bridge. I seem to be sabotaging myself...Has anyone else noticed feeling a little more emotionally insecure during the few days before ovulation?


COL - June 28

Hello girls, sorry I did not write before but I was so busy, welcome Citrine, I am 41 too and TTC #1, I don’t think you have any issues you should worry about, you are healthy, and you should be fine, as for your husband issue, I would advice you not to tell him about when is the right time for bd, men in general get anxiety attacks about it, so don’t tell him and save yourself the headache, you don’t need to deal with performance anxiety : ) : ). Its men issue. as for your question about the insecurity before ovulation, yes I do , but I would not call it insecurity, I would call it emotionally disturbed, its not easy what we are going through Citrine, we are fighting almost everything around us, our age arguments, our bodies, our fears, time and TTC. I was in a very bad shape when I started, to the point were I missed up my period, then I started to see a naturopath, she helped me a lot, I would recommend that to everybody. Plus coming here and read about other ladies experiences gave me some comfort too, it’s good to vent and talk to people who understand where you come from. Mmalo, it’s a very good idea to call your ND, keep us updated. Prisoner of hope, how is going there?
For me I am 4dpo, wish me luck or pray for me : ) : ) TTYL


Citrine - June 28

Hi Girls - COL, thanks for the advice & encouragement. DH caught a late flight home last night instead of today b/c he felt bad about the other night. I swear it was one of the sweetest things he's ever done! I'm a little confused though b/c I fully expect to O today, CD 13 of 27 days. But I just today got a positive on the OPk, using Dollar Tree test I guess the test is good & I suppose we now have a little more time to make a good effort this month...I'll be starting the tww Friday I guess. Where is everyone else?


COL - June 28

Citrine , i am so glad that your DH is back , that tells me he is intrested way more than you think. trust me they think diffrently: ) :) . as for your opk , make sure to bd today and tomorrow and the day after, watch for all the signs. do you temp? watch CM? Good luck


COL - June 28

i useually get positive opk the same day i ovulate.


Prisoner_of_Hope - June 29

Hey girls!! Just wanted to wish everyone a wonderful Fourth of July weekend. I am off to the Carolinas for a week. DH could not get time off so I am going with friends.

My cat scan was cancelled because insurance co says doc no give compelling reason for scan. So when I come back I have to get an abs ultrasound.

I made appt for consultation for colonic hydrotherapy, an ayurveda facial and I have an appt with an "Integrative nutrition based" MD. She specializes in nutrition therapy, endocrine issues and is also ob gyn. I just really need somene to paint me a pic and a roadmap with a baby at the end. LOL

Anyway, welcome Citrine and lots of baby dust to all while I am away.

Hugs and you are in my prayers.



Citrine - June 30

The tww starts today. But I don't think I'm going to let it get to me like I did last month. This is just the 3rd month of making an effort at ttc. So far, we've had a dismal performance, and I'm pretty discouraged about the whole possibility of this happening with my DH. If I count the first month, well, he wouldn't have sex with me at the proper time....Blamed it on the dogs in the bedroom getting on his nerves. Last month, a little more encouraging, but we only did it 1x at the critical time b/c he had to go out of town...This month, between his traveling and worse, his inability to perform, we did it 1x the day before or day of O. He does take high blood pressure meds, so that can cause ed, but I think its in large part psychological....At this rate, obviously, I'll never get pregnant...And we haven't even gotten to the point of knowing if we could naturally or not. Right now, I am inclined to think we can't....I also read that Viagra and the like can cause the sperm to swim too fast, lose their heads so to speak within 2 hours so that they are already fizzled out by the time they meet the sperm. - though of course the mfg disputes those findings). COL - I just started using these opks more regularly - I thought the surge was supposed to be 24-48 hrs beforehand? But that wouldn't work with my charting. No temping, tried it before, seems hard toremember...Just starting to monitor cm & cp.


isa - June 30

Hi all. Citrine we are close on our cycles. I too am about the 2ww. I"m a bit confused with FF as it said I ovulated Tues but my opk didnt go + til Wed and it has been + for Thurs and again this am. I had to discount my Wed temp (I woke up hot and didnt think it was accurate) and by discounting it, it erased my tues ovulation. I think more likely I ovulated yesterday. I also temp, cm, cp but waking up hot a couple mornings may have messed that up a bit. Try not to stress over dh and ttc because that is like a death sentence when ttc. If he has performance anxiety then try and do anything to get him going even if it means orally (and yes I know we are not to use saliva but some sex is better than no sex and if that gets him going try it out). For Maria, I am sorry about your panic and anxiety, my dh has it and I know what you go through. We are lucky he is not yet on meds for it. I see you are from Msga, I go to a clinic there too. Check with mother's risk at sick kids in toronto re your meds and they will tell you if they are ok for TTC or suggest ones that are. They are amazing I called them all the time when we started to check out my meds. Phone # is (416) 813-6780 - Motherisk's Home Line. Also if you check their website it has different articles to read up on. this time it has one that says: NEW This Month
Motherisk reviews use of antidepressant during pregnancy and warns against abrupt discontinuation (and has more info on it). Website is at There will be a www in front of mother risk and no hyphens or dashes if they show up.


isa - June 30

Col where is this naturalpath you see? Is she in Msga near where you work ? What is the purpose of the seeds before and after. we use flaxseeds in protein shakes, should I not be having them after I ovulate? What do the seeds after ovulation due or is it they dont do anything they are just healthy?


Citrine - June 30

Isa - That is weird about your opk. Mine wasn't + until Wed. I took it Thursday to see what it did and the 2nd line was very faint, had faded from day before. That was it. The saliva test never worked for me. Maybe I'll try temping again. I think I will get some initial fertility blood tests or something. It is covered by my insurance. Baby dust...


COL - June 30

Hi isa, my naturopath is in Oakville, and the reason for the seeds, to be honest with you I never asked, but for me I think they are helping in CM quality and the regulation of period. I will ask her the next time I see her. But I am sure they do something : ) : ).
Hope to hear good news from all of you ladies, it’s a hard time we are going through here, but I am sure we will be fine. I am 6dpo, I am not expecting anything, but as usual I always keep the hope. At least I do not feel I am alone in this battle. oh BTW, does any of you ladies using the Clear Blue Fertility Monitor? Let me know if I can help. TTYL


isa - June 30

COL I used to see one in Oakville too a long time ago but I forgot her name and where she was. I will keep that in mind if it works for you and ya I'm really interested in the seed answer. I've never used a fertility monitor because I always can go in for u/s and b/w when I want to check my status b/c OHIP (provincial coverage pays for it). I had a cousin send me 2 containers of 20 sticks of opks from "answer" so I manage to use 1 container in 30 days to cover 2 cycles. I started using it last cycle and only needed 2 days til I got my + and the sticks are good for 1 month June 1-30 so I just squeezed in my 2nd cycle. I have one more container to use. I decided I could tell myself with bbt, cm and cp that I chose not to spend the $$ for the monitor.


mmelo - June 30

Hi ladies,
Not much to report as I am currently just continuing with my dostinex until I do another blood test to see if my prolactin has gone down. I feel so useless right now because there is nothing I can do to TTC, because of my situation everything has to be done at the fertility clinic. I have been doing some reading about herbal supplements and Vitex seems to be touted as being able to lower prolactin levels. I just don't know if I should take that along with the dostinex in case they interact. Isa, thx for the info on Motherrisk regarding anxiety meds. I already have the phone number, but I will check out the website. I don't know about you guys, but I have become obsessed with all these celebrities having babies over the age of 40. Mariska Hargitay just had her baby yesterday and she is 42. So that gives me hope. Then I read those nasty statistics about the odds being so low at our age and I get depressed again. I guess I should just try to relax seeing as my next attempt probably won't be until September. It just gets frustrating as I am sure you all know.
Anyways, have a great long weekend everyone.


Citrine - July 6

Don't look at those statistics!! Mmelo. Try not to get yourself too down....I didn't know about Marishka, but I did see a 59 year old women on the Today Show had twins!


Prisoner_of_Hope - July 6

Hi Ladies,

Hope those of you stateside had a nice 4th of july (I forgot some of you are canadian :-) )

I too have a question about the flaxseed. I just plain like it and put it in my smoothie every day (1 tablespoon). This is what I read on

In addition to lessening a woman's risk of developing cancer, the lignans abundant in flaxseed can promote normal ovulation and extend the second, progesterone-dominant half of the cycle. The benefits of these effects are manifold. For women trying to become pregnant, consistent ovulation significantly improves their chances of conception. For women between the ages of 35 and 55 who are experiencing peri-menopausal symptoms such as irregular menstrual cycles, breast cysts, headaches, sleep difficulties, fluid retention, anxiety, irritability, mood swings, weight gain, lowered sex drive, brain fog, fibroid tumors, and heavy bleeding, a probable cause of all these problems is estrogen dominance. Typically, during the 10 years preceding the cessation of periods at midlife, estrogen levels fluctuate while progesterone levels steadily decline. Flaxseed, by promoting normal ovulation and lengthening the second half of the menstrual cycle, in which progesterone is the dominant hormone, helps restore hormonal balance.




Citrine - July 7

Has anyone tried these progesterone creams? Apparently, you can buy them without a prescription. I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts on that...Today I'm about 9 dpo. I'm trying so hard not to obsess this month like I did last month, but I am starting to anyway!! I had some strange pains in my stomach last night, my bbs feel larger, etc...but I felt the exact same way last month & nothing. So, I guess I was just never paying close enough attention to my body/cycles until the last few months. I think I will start temping next cycle though. Of course, DH will be *&@$ing traveling again at that exact time!



New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?