starting new thread-ttc#1 over 40
57 Replies
mmelo - June 22

Hello everyone,
I was wondering if I could start a new thread for those of us ttc first baby over 40, anyone want to join in?
Any words of wisdom, stories, support?


Prisoner_of_Hope - June 22

Hey girl,

Let me the first to join you. I am also in the over 34 TTC #1 thread. But I am happy to join and support you here as well.

I am Elise. I am 41 and TTC #1. We have been TTC for approx 7 months since Oct 2005. I have some health issues which may stand in my way and will be having LOTS of tests in the near future. I am just praying to God that some of the health issues can be reversed (like anemia and hypertension) and I can still make a solid run for it towards the fall of this year. I just want one little girl for my DH. He has been REALLY depressed over my health and the possibility that he will be the only of his siblings without a child (I would the same - all of mine are parents).

I am trying to eat primarily whole foods, lots of juicing. But like most humans I mess up and am often only 85-90% compliant. I am also walking as everything else makes me dizzy because of the iron poor blood.

I do need a bit of TLC and prayers.

MMelo, what about you. How is everything today?


mmelo - June 22

Hello, nice to hear from you Elise. My name is Maria. My dh and I were diagnosed with primary infertility 15 years ago. It was a hard blow but we were both young, working on careers etc. Thought that things might sort themselves out. Well nothing happened of course and one day I woke up and I was 40 and it hit me like a ton of bricks. If I still wanted a child, it was now or never. However, we are unable to conceive naturally of course, and now dh thinks he is too old so I am going to a fertility clinic on my own to try to conceive thru IUI and fertility meds. I am really scared that I left it too long. As I am techinically doing this alone, I need all the help I can get. Right now my prolactin levels are too high to I am on dostinex to bring them down and then hopefully in a few months I will be able to try another IUI. I have attempted one already but was unsuccessful because of this. I am also petrified of birth defects and complications because of my age. I have posted on other threads, but there isn't one really for us gals over 40. I sympathize with your health issues. As we get older the complications just seem to keep mounting don't they. Not to mention the fact that I have minimal outside support as most people I talk to think I am crazy for still wanting a baby at my age! Physically however, I feel healthier than I ever have! Have you been to a fertility clinic or are you TTC on your own?


COL - June 22

Hello, I am 41 and TTC#1, I am hopeful that I can be a mom. I have faith this will happen. I believe in what meant to be meant to be. I have been trying since October 2005 too, nothing yet. Me and my husband never been parents before. We are trying to take it easy and not stressing out about it, although it’s hard for me to do that. I am doing some naturopathic treatments like supplements and acupuncture. I have the same issue like both of you have, people around me talk a lot about the age issue, it bugs me a lot, but deep inside me I know that God will never let me down. And the age issue is something exaggerated, I am denying the age fact, but it’s not the end of the world. So I thought I join you ladies. Good luck for all of us.


Prisoner_of_Hope - June 23

Hi Col! Welcome!
Maria, my DH is way younger and just does not get it. He expected to blink and have a kid. Even though we discussed this before we married and agreed that we would adopt if I could not conceive and carry to term, he now feels a bit defeated. I am now beginning to get referrals for an RE and fertility clinics.
I agree with you COL - on even my saddest days, I still feel deep in my soul that this will happen. That God will answer. I even have her name chosen and in other languages her name means Rejoice! The Lord answers! I have a lot of people praying for me and that helps me. And you are right Maria, as soon as I seem to have bettered one issue another one pops up. So I just have to take it one day at a time. My goal between now and the end of September is to lose about 30lbs, bring up my hemoglobin to 12 and my ferritin to 70 and bring my BP down to 120/80 or as close to that as possible. It has come down some but not enough.
I was telling God in my prayers that He is one who said in His Word that He knits us together in our mother's wombs, so I will try to do the things within my control and let Him handle the knitting. :-)

So where are you all from? I am in New York City.

So even we are three strong, let's support each other.

What about books? Any thing you want to recommend?
Do you guys eat meat? Dairy?

Gee I am full of questions. LOL

Be good until....


COL - June 23

Hi Prisoner_of_Hope, I like your nick name by the way : ) : ), I think men in general have there own mindset about almost everything, they are different creatures I would say. They get overwhelmed by any small detail, so, what I do is, do not shre any details, just do what you have to do without telling them, am talking here about the TTC process : ) : ). I live around Toronto Canada. I do eat meat, dairy products and all. As for the books recommendation, if you are asking about TTC books, I would strongly recommend Taking Charge of your Fertility, it’s an amazing book.
Now I am reading another one, it’s The Infertility Cure, it’s about the Chinese medication, and it’s a very good book too. TTYL


isa - June 23

Hello, I am 40 1/2, never pregnant and my dh and I met late in life and married 1 1/2 years and trying pretty much as soon as we got married. I have tried 6 iui's all failed, dh has motility around 30 % and counts between 30-58 mill before wash and after wash he is about 85-90% motil with about 9 mil to 11 mil (enough to get me pg but it hasnt happened yet). 2 months i was on clomid and injections and clomid thinned lining both times so doc said no more and just did injections. I respond very well to the meds and make follies but never got pg. We were told to now try ivf and due to a vac. we put it off and now due to the stress of FIL illness I have delayed it and thinking I dont want to spend the $$ anyways so we are going au naturelle and think it is up to God to give or not give us a child. I am coming to terms now of maybe never being a mom. Depends on the day how I feel. I too have some health issues but mine are muscular and sleep related. My core temp is also lower than normal and always thought it might be part of the problem. Dh has anxitey and panic issues as well as sleep disorder and perhaps the stress of those keep his sperm counts and motility down. We are doing the best we can. I have learned tons on my own through the net and this site, I chart bbt most of the time, cm, cp position, opks etc and even when I wasnt doing iui I can go for u/s , b/w to be monitored at no cost (health plan covered for our provincen Ontario canada- ) but now I 'm even fed up running there all the time and doing it on my own trying to keep all stresses down. I do eat meat, dairy etc etc. I try to eat healthy but I'm not to good at the veggie thing.


Prisoner_of_Hope - June 23

Hi Ladies,

Welcome Isa!!
COL I have both those books! LOL I am now making my way thru them...wish I had read them a few years ago. :-)

Have a great weekend!!!


COL - June 23

HI , those books are really good, both of them, Prisoner of hope, mmelo and isa, did you try to go for the natrupath route? its worth the try. TTYL


isa - June 23

Hey COL, depends what you mean by naturpath route. I do take fish oil capsules, vit e etc, massage therapy, acupuncture though my body flipped out on me a few years back on another reason not fertility related but I am afraid to try it again.. is that what you mean?


COL - June 23

isa, yes this is what i mean. supplements and accupuncture. :)


mmelo - June 23

Hello again everyone,
Great to hear from all. To Elise, I am from Ontario Canada and have been going to a fertility clinic in Mississauga, which is near Toronto. I have not adjusted my diet, basically I just eat what I want, although trying to cut out junk and excercise regularly. I have read fertility for dummies(pretty basic stuff) and "midlife motherhood" as well as "pregnancy over 35". midlife being inspirational and over35 being more technical stuff. I am taking supplements, a pre-conception vitamin that has folic acid as well as vitex and a few other herbal ingredients. I do yoga for the stress. Isa, I have sleep issues as well as anxiety/panic. So I can relate and it frightens me a little about trying to cope with pregnancy with these issues because I don't really want to be taking my anti-anxiety meds but if I really need them then I will worry about the effects on the fetus(I think I am putting the cart before the horse a little here, but this I attribute to my anxiety anyways) It is all so scary sometimes, so many things to worry about. I am not overly religious, but Elise, Isa and Col, I see that your faith has helped to make you stronger, so maybe I should re-aquaint myself with mine. Col, what info did the naturepath give you? What is recommended in Chinese medicine?
I see all these ads for these fertility supplements like"ovulex". Anybody try any of those? Anyways, keep me posted. Maria


COL - June 23

Mmelo, I work in Mississauga by the way : ) : ). As for your question about what the naturopath did for me, I am telling you she helped me a lot, she is great. Started with her with anxiety and fear that I will never be a mom, since nothing people talk about these days other than my age : ) : ). So she started with me by the supplements and another thing that helped me elevates my PMS symptoms, which was like magic for me. To be honest I went to see her, but I was so skeptical about the whole thing. After what she did with my PMS, I became a believer. Then she gave prenatal vitamins. Then recommended that I use flax seeds and pumpkin seeds before my ovulation, and after ovulation sunflower seeds and sesame seeds. Before seeing her, I had a very irregular period, now I have a very regular one. She gave some supplements that helped me to relax about the whole TTC thing. Then now I am doing acupuncture, I had my first one Tuesday; it was painless and very relaxing. She has answers to all questions. I am so happy to find her. I am so happy with the results. I hope this helps. TTYL


Prisoner_of_Hope - June 25

Maria and COL, I loooove Canada. I have family in Toronto and Oshawa. I have been to Missi......can't spell without looking...Mississauga once. :-)

I am currently researching Naturopaths in New York City. I knew a good one, but his wife ran off with their infant son, so he cut back his hours a lot.


mmelo - June 26

Hello girls,
I think I will try calling my naturopath because I have only been on the dostinex for 3 weeks now and already I can feel the side-effects creeping up on me(exteme anxiety, insomnia, hot flashes, etc). Maybe there is something holistic that can bring my prolactin levels down without turning me into a wreck?


Prisoner_of_Hope - June 27

Hi Maria! Good luck with the Naturopath! Let us know how it goes. I believe Eastern Medicince has an anwer for everything. I grew up in South America and my grandparents were not sick until they got old and died. They just chewed on all sorts of barks and drank this tea and that tea. I swear as a child I had the cleanest intestines, because they made sure of it. Believed that colon was key to all disease. So true.
So keep us posted with what the naturopath says!


Citrine - June 27

Just wanted to join in and say hello. I am also 41 and ttc#1. My dh is older than me and has adult kids from a previous marriage. We've been together for years, but he has finally agreed to really put some effort into ttc. I don't have any health problems & have very regular cycles, so that keeps me somewhat hopeful things will work out. I have just quit smoking & am hoping that I didn't ruin all my eggs...I have been using pre-seed & Robotussin, just bought some raspberry tea, taking my pre-natals, joined a gym & quit smoking. My Dh though is very skittish about the whole thing though. And it seems like he is traveling every darn month at the wrong time. I should be ovulating tomorrow, and he caught an early flight out this morning. He'll be back tomorrow, so that's good. But we'll miss bding today. And then, last night...well, I guess he felt too much pressure. It was miserable. We couldn't pull it off & I felt like jumping off a bridge. I seem to be sabotaging myself...Has anyone else noticed feeling a little more emotionally insecure during the few days before ovulation?



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