Relative woes?
4 Replies
Lori - November 30

Hi. I was just wondering if any one else has relatives that are just too involved with the whole process of YOU trying to conceive. My well-meaning mother-in-law asks question after question... I feel trapped into giving her answers (to keep the peace). I don't want to tell her about her son's sperm count, my cycle, when I am ovulating, what the RE said about this or that, etc..... But, some how she drags it out of me. Every conversation I have with her ultimately ends up on the subject of a baby. Has anyone else found themselves in this predicament? What have you done to curtail it? Thanks.


Lisa - November 30

Hi Lori!
My husband and I decided not to tell ANY of our family that we were trying for that reason. I know this sounds horrible, but maybe you can just tell her that you have decided to take a break from trying for a little bit due to all of the stress. At least that might buy you a little time without the constant badgering.


Karen - November 30

That sucks. I too have very involved in laws but thankfully they live 600 miles away! It's not my mother-in-law that bugs me but everyone else including my 5 year old niece! That's why I dread going to visit for the holidays. I just tell them we are working on it. I wish my husband would step in and tell them all to shut up and leave us alone!


Lori - November 30

Lisa, thanks! I would do that except my mother-in-law wants a grandchild probably almost as much as I want a child. She thinks her grandmother "clock" is ticking. She only has two sons, the youngest being 36 and no grandchildren. I think it would desvastate her to think we weren't "trying", so I think I would be badgered even more! Karen -- I know what you are saying about wishing your husband would step up and say something, my husband just hands me the phone when his mother calls. Hopefully the "effort" will soon pay off, and she will stop asking such personal questions. Sometimes I think if she could be in the bedroom cheering us on, she would! LOL - I guess if I can laugh about it, I'll get through it. Thanks!


Ana - November 30

My DH and I didn't tell but a few close people that we were ttc. I regret telling family, though. (except my sisters) My friends and sisters were supportive, but the in laws were not helpful at all! My ignorant SIL went out and told other people about us ttc when she knew we weren't telling them! My FIL got upset because he wanted us to have a child when he was ready to be a grandfather! SO IGNORANT! My advice is to either tell your MIL that your keeping that info. private or (ok...little white lie!) your not ttc right now so you two can focus on other things and you'll let them know when your ttc, again. Maybe that will get her off your back and out of your business for a while. I really think ttc is a very personal thing and people shouldn't expect to be told all about it unless info. is offered or it is made clear to them that it's ok to ask about it. Good luck!



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