mother in law from hell
29 Replies
jennifer - March 14

Hi all,
well I am trying to cope with one of the most rude people whom I happen to be related to. My mother in law had started about a year ago to make comments on why her only child (my husband) didnt have a child on the way(meaning me) Well we made the mistake of telling her our troubles. We have been married for 4 years and have been ttc for 3 years. She started off being somewhat comferting and encouraging, but last night (granted she had, had a couple drinks) at a family gathering she loudly announced , " Well jenn isnt exactly fertile. She's a barren thing. figures. My poor Jim gets stuck with a half-women and I dont get any grandkids" I was right there and mortified. I hadnt told everyone in the family, but now they all know. Then my uncle in law, trying to help, but not, said that there were too many babies in the world and it was fair that some women cant get pregnant as it helps with population control. I was so upset I made Jim take me home. He is upset, but thinks I am over upset. I never want to see his mother again. Actually I just want to die.,


ConfusedMom2B - March 14

I'm sorry, Jennifer. There really is no excuse for someone to act like that. I don't care how many drinks she has had. Try not to worry about her, I know that you are mortified by her comments. Your day will come and you will have a beautiful baby. Don't let her comments get you down, girlie. You'll do fine.


jg - March 14

I have "poor taste'd" shelley's comments above. As for your MIL, what a wicked woman to say such hurtful and evil things. You must have your husbands full support on this. What incredibly mean and bitter words from her! There is no way in the world I would ever ever ever put up with it. Confront her. That is just so nasty and you do not need to hear her garbage, drinks or no drinks! Evil wench. Totally out of line. I know your pain of TTC and if anyone had ever said those words to me, let alone in front of others, it would be the last time they spoke to me. She is an absolute cow. I don't often get heated up, but on this one I'm on fire! Your husband must stick up for you - it is his RESPONSIBILITY to stand up for you and make sure this never EVER happens again and to make sure your MIL apologises - publically. Grrrrrr I could slap the stupid woman!


SashaP - March 14

I'm so sorry that your mil is so bad. You think she would understand what your going through since she's a woman. I guess people that have never been in our situation will never understand how devastating infertility is and how lucky they are. My mil wanted to me checked out before we got married to make sure I could conceive. We've been ttc 27 months still no baby. As for Shelly's comment I poor taste'd it too. There is no reason to come on here and be rude. We here to support each other. Good luck and baby dust.....


dea - March 14

If I were you-- I would tell DH "If she is going to be somewhere- don't expect me there also." What she did is completely outrageous and incredibly rude. I would not be anywhere near her. Perhaps I am not forgiving enough, but until time had passed (a significant amount) and ammends were made (whatever you feel is appropriate), I would have absolutely NOTHING to do with her. And- if your husband does not stand behind you on this one-- think about that long and hard. Infertility is not an individual problem-- it's a couple's problem. He didn't marry you to have children. He married you and then decided to have children. I hope this helps somewhat--


Justine1 - March 14

Jennifer - I feel for you, your MIL sounds horrible. My MIL was just like that too. We ttc for 2 years and when I didn't get pregnant she said it was because I was too old (I was 27 when I started ttc so I knew that was rubbish but it still hurts) and that I wasn't normal. I stopped seeing her and it helped me. Either you MIL should be nice to you and apologise (or at least not be so rude) or I'ld seriously consider stopping seeing her. Its one stress you don't need. Have you and DH been to the doctors for tests? In our case it turned out to be male factor infertility.


Mega - March 14

Jennifer--I'm so sorry about what your MIL said to you. Absolutely untrue, & very hurtful. And I too "poor taste"d Shelly's comments. I hope you didn't read it. It's rough, as the previous posters have all said no one really understands the pain of infertility unless they've been there too. (And sometimes even they make stupid comments). Hang in there!


d - March 14

Jennifer sorry to hear about your MIL. Every month that goes by for dh and I that we are not pg. my MIL says "good". yep ladies could you believe that. I still can't believe that my MIL said good. Neither can dh's sister. Again. Jennifer sorry your MIL has to spill your business to everyone. I know sometimes I just want to tell MIL off but i can't. I have since stopped going to my MILS house. SHe has said other things too it wasn't just the good thing that stopped me from going there.


June - March 14

OUCH! what an evil woman......sorry but i would never accept that strong and put your foot down and let it be known that an apology is required.


EMM - March 14

I think it is horrible what happened. I will have to be honest and say that it is nice to read a post from someone who also has MIL issues. My MIL does not think that we will be able to conceive...again. My DH was also married once before and is in the process of getting his marriage annuled. She does not think that will happen either. I just try to avoid her. We have had it out a few times because DH gets tired of being the middle man and tells me to "do it." Now she hardly ever calls the house (she calls DH's work instead) and we just don't talk that much. Sometimes DH makes it worse by including her too much in her life, ie giving her way too much knowledge of our personal business. Anyway, I just choose to ignore her if at all possible. I also take her ignorance and use it as fuel to try and achieve anything and everything that I want no matter what she thinks. Good luck to you. I hope that we don't end up on Dr. Phil talking about divorcing because of our MILs! We have to try harder to forget about them and live our lives the way we want.


KDR - March 14

Wow. That's absolutely unbelievable behavior! I would be embarrased, humiliated and not to mention so angry my head would explode. My mil is a manipulative witch but she has never outright berated me like that! Do you live near her? I would try to spend as little time as possible around her and try not to be too rude (i probably couldn't help it) but definately don't go out of your way to be nice. You DH should be behind you 100 % on this one. And he should be working to try to fix it because you wouldn't know her if it weren't for him and you wouldn't have to see her if it weren't for him. I am sooo sorry that happened to you! She obviously is a very selfish, immature, uncaring person who doesn't understand at all, or just doesn't care, what you are going through! Good luck with everything and when you do have your baby, which your will, I would really be tempted to not let her have very much contact with the child because I wouldn't want her bad influence rubbing off on my child!!!! Take care and hang in there!!!!!


Lori - March 14

Jennifer - I feel for you. I can not believe that anyone could be so cruel as to announce something like that during a gathering! Seeing that your MIL only had one child, perhaps she wanted more and wants to live that through her only son. So she feels pain too. NOT that that is an excuse for that type of behavior no matter what!! My MIL said to me one time "I can't help but think that if my son were married to any other woman, I would probably be a grandmother three times over by now." So, I know somewhat where you are coming from. Like others have said, I think your DH has to speak to your MIL and let her know how unacceptable that was. She should apologize to you. Hopefully she has recognized the error she has made and is on the phone with you right now. Take Care.


Sally - March 14

Hi Hun, what a cow! My MIL is ok but my sister in law is really horrid. Hubby (35) and i (30) have been TTC for 2 years, in those 2 years she (age32) has found a man got pregnant in a month married him and now is taking great pleasure in rubbing it in my face at every oppertunity. We told her when we started ttc as she kept asking when we were going to have kids, we have told noone else and it got very hard when she made comments about infertility being a myth!!! and its easy to get pregnant and women that dont are not doing it properly!!! I wont go on as i get to angry. But i had to stay quiet. I stopped seeing her but i know i will have to see her one day and im preparing for that. But for now im ok and my hubby to is not very sypathetic he says ignore her. as you know it cuts through your heart like a knife. Just remember youre not alone you have all of us to come to. I would go mad otherwise. Good luck to you.


Jeanette - March 14

I would kick the beaches AZZ! She would have left that party limping!


jg - March 15

Jennifer (and all you with horrible mil's) - you should print all these posts and mail it to your MIL - LOL. Hope you feel a bit better that we're all on your side.


sophia - March 16

wow.. what a beachhhh... sorry hun!


Lynn - March 16

Jennifer......I can relate to a MIL from hell but I do not think mine can top that (or at least she better not). I am with the girls and dh should most definitely take a stand with her. Sometimes I do not think they understand how much it hurts. I have had to confront mine a number of times. Dh was married before and has 2 kids. She makes it a point to make comments. She also has gone even to the length of teeling me we would never have a child seeing my husband was "fixed". She had no clue I was already pregnant and had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. So I blasted her out of the water and told her she should really get her facts together before spreading a rumor. She did not talk to me for a while (no big deal). I never did tell about pregnancy and it was not until ectopic in Sept of 05 when she figured out my husband was not "fixed" as she thought. UGH!!! I would talk to her and tell her how much that hurt. I am sorry you had to be put in that situation. Hey EMM and d. Lori, is that you?



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