Military couple wants to conceive before deployment....
93 Replies
tmsyq1229 - April 24

HI all. My name is Teresa and my husband and I have ben trying to conceive since December, when we got married and I stopped taking the pill. He is deploying either in September or Dcember of this year and wil be gone for 15 months. We really want to conceive before he leaves ( I know all about raising a little one on my own as I did it with my daughter). Our daughter (mine biologically, his adopted) is now 2 and a half and we would like her to have a sibling before she gets too much into school age. My cylce has been really long, but regular since I stopped taking the pill. 44 days, then 41 days, then 42 days. So, if this truely is my cylse length, then I will not ovulate every month like many do. That mean we only have 3-5 chances of conceiving left. I have been charting my BBT and CM and I really felt like last month I was prego...cause I spotted about a week ago, but then I started my period today :( I know that many people try for a very uch longer time than us to conceive, but I can't help feeling anxious and frustrated. I'm beginning to thinkt hat it might not happen before he leaves. And one of our biggest fears is that we won't and then someting might happen to him.....GOD FORBID. Any helpful words or support or advice or ANYTHING would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I'm losing my mind every month when my period time is approaching :) I want to get prego sooooo bad. Thanks in advance to all!!


tmsyq1229 - April 24

Oh, I guess I should add too that my husband is worried about all the shots that the Army has given him affecting his fertility......Anthrax being one of the many. How long should we wait until we see a specialist? I don't want to wait until he gets back and then try again for another year to then find out something is wrong, ya know??

Also, it just seems so funny to me that all those people out there that don't even want a baby are "accidentally" getting pregnant and everyone who is trying is having troubles. I got prego with my daughter when I was 18, in a bad relationship, and on BC....taking is religiously! I guess that's just irony for me, eh?? Plus it feels like everyone around me here in this damned military base is prego!!! G'z.....


jlee27 - April 24

Hi Teresa. My name is Jessica. I am in a similar situation. My husband is deploying probably in Sept. he will only be gone 4 months though. We have been trying for 16 months to get preg. with no success. We had to start fertility treatments and the first one was unsuccessful. I am on 50 mg of Clomid and we are doing IUI since I seem to be killing his stuff. I am very hopeful that we get preg. before he deploys. My dr. told me that most women get preg. the first six months of trying, if nothing is wrong, so you still have at least one more try. If you are over 35 you only have to try for six months before you can try infertility treatments. I don't know if Tricare agrees with that but you might look into it. You should try ovulation kits, buy two and take them so you center them in your cycle, since your cycle is so long I would recomend doing two sets a month. They did not work for me but they have for others. I wish you all the luck and Baby Dust to you. Keep me informed.


am - April 24

I too, am trying we just started in the last few months. My DR gave me 4-6 months to get preggo so I understand the pressure. Try not to worry (I know that is hard to do:( ) if you are not relaxing when having sex that is going to decrease your chances. Also I have heard taking robitussin thins your mucous which aids in sperm migration to your eggs. Also try an ovulation kit. that is what I am going to do. I also read that you should ovulate 14 days before your period should start and you should have sex every other day because the sperm are more potent that way. I hope this helps. just try to relax and not worry. My thoughts will be with you.


jlee27 - April 24

I feel the same way. Everyone on this base seems to be preg. too. My friend here just had a baby, our husbands met in tech school. I know when we first went to the fertility clinic they had a question on the paperwork about exposure to some chemicals through the military. My hubby is fine, but he has not had all those shots. He is in the Air Force. My husband asks all the time why so many people who shouldn't have kids have them with no problem and we have so much trouble. I knew someone who got preg. her first time trying with her hubby and then they got divorced before the baby was even born! I am getting really frustrated and every month I just assume it is not going to happen. I go in on the 30th for an U/S to check how many eggs I have and how big they are. If they are ready we will do the insemination the 1st or 2nd and then I will be on the tortuous 2 week wait. And to top it off in the middle of that my hubby has to go to Florida for a week for training. I'm just glad it is after the insemination.


tmsyq1229 - April 24

Thanks again ladies :) By the way, I am 22, just turned April 19th and my husband is 22 also, so we should be like at peak ages for fertility I've read. I know about hte every other day thing so taht's what we've been doing. We start trying on day 12 (incase I might ovulate early and go every other day...sometimes everday :).....until I start my period again, just to make sure all our bases are covered. We also make sure he never finishes with me on top, and I remain laying down for at least ten minutes after sex to extra extra ensure. I just feel like we are doing everything right....but nothing has happened yet.

Jessica--how long did you wait before you started fertility treatments? And how did you find out that your "environment" is killing his men?? Just wondering. Thanks for the advice. I thing we will try those ovulation predictor tests this cycle to see if it might give us a more definite answer than BBT, which only tell you AFTER you ovulate....very helpful.

AM--I have also heard about the RObutussin thing, but both my husband and I are Straight-Edge (no drugs, alcohol, etc) so we would prefer not to take naything unless it is prescribed by a doc. I've looked online into herb and such that may help fertility and there is an herbal doc here in town, so maybe I'll try to see what they have to say. Thanks for the advice anyway....I'm eager to see how the ovulation tests work for both of us :)

We also even go to the extent to time our orgasms so we do at the same time....I've heard when females orgasm, they kind of vacuum the sperm in more. IDK.....worth trying I guess.

Good luck to both of you ladies and TONS of BABY DUST!!!


jlee27 - April 24

Hi. We had been trying for about 13 months before we went, and the first day I was there they did an U/S to check if my uterus looked normal, they noticed that I was probably about to O so we tried naturally that month then went to the IUI. They can do a post-coital test, you have intercourse the night before then go in, within 12 hrs, and they take out some of the mucous and check to see if there are any living sperm. My hubby's count is VERY good (213 mil) and when they did the test and didn't see any moving then they knew I was probably killing them. Which is weird because I did get pg back in 2003 naturally (m/c 7wks). So I don't know if we just got lucky then or if this is a new problem. I have heard to put a pillow under your butt when you are lying there, I think it is supposed to tip you the right direction.


tmsyq1229 - April 24

I know all about them being gone for training during important times. I feel like my hubby might possibly have been gone while I was ovulating. Also, I can't ell you how happy I am to have found some people that I can discuss my feelingand concerns with. All the "friends" I've made around here (who all are already pregoa nd got there "on there first try") are just telling me to relax and to stop trying to hard. It's hard for me to hear that from thema nd take them seriously when they all don't have any worries cause they are already prego and there husbands aren't deploying until after the births. I wish you so much luck on you insemination. You'll have to keep me informed!!


tmsyq1229 - April 24

either of you ladies have a myspace?? i check that more than i'm on here :)


jlee27 - April 24

I will definately keep you informed and I want you to do the same. I'm hope I was a little help. Most people don't understand the stress and it's nice to have someone to talk to about trying to conceive and having our hubbies deploy.


jlee27 - April 24

no I haven't gotten into myspace. I'm not on here all that often either though.


tmsyq1229 - April 24

Will this be your hubb's first deployment?? You're so lucky he'll only be gone for 4 months. I know that is an eternity in itself though too. My husband just got back from a 12 month tour in December......supposed to be guaranteed 12 months home between deployments, but looks like he's prob going back in Sept rather than Dec.....I hope it's the latter. Plus he keeps going to the field for a week at a time.......I wish they wouldn't take hime away from me so much while he is supposed to be spending time with his fam before leaving again.


jlee27 - April 25

I think it is ridiculous how often some people get deployed. It is my hubby's first he had to do a year of on the job training. I know I am lucky and it could be worse. He will be on a base the whole time in a secure building so he won't be in as much danger as others.


jennifer_33106 - April 25

Hey there! I feel for you. My husband left May 7th of last year and got back on the 21st of September. Your DH is in the army? Mine is in the airforce. We had gotten pregnant before he left but unfortunatly had a miscarriage. But since he has been back have been trying. As far as your question about a specialist goes, I have read that for someone under the age of I think 30 it can take up to a year before they actually get pregnant. So alot of civilian docs want you to wait. We too are in a hurry though. So I went to the doc on base who refered me to a civilian doc in town. I have an appt. in May. But I guess it depends. What does your husband do? Mine is a air traffic comtroller so he just stayed on base the entire time.


jennifer_33106 - April 25

Also contrary to popular belief you do not need to wait to have sex. You actually have a 20% chance of Concieving if you do the deed every other day and a 25% chance if you have sex every day in a cycle. Hope that helps.


tmsyq1229 - April 25

Yeah, my DH is in the Army. You're very lucky your hub gets to stay on base. Mine is a Combat Medic so he gets assigned to a platoon of infantry guys and goes to Iraq with them He just found out too that he's going back to the exact same place where he went last time, whuch was attacked 4 times by chlorine bombs and six of his guys dies. I'm so scared. We both are, that's why we want to conceive so badly before he goes. We've been thinking if going to the doc, even though it hasn't been too long cause we are so desperate to get prego asap. I know a lot of people are telling me to wait til he gets back to try incase something happens to him while he's over I don't have to raise the child by myself, God forbid....this might sound bad, but I would rather have a piece of him to raise by myself than nothing at all. We've even talked about having some of his sperm stored if we don't get prego before he goes, so that if something does happen.....I'd still want to have his child. Morbid, i hate thinking about it, but it's a reality I can't just ignore.


jennifer_33106 - April 25

No its not a bad thing to think about before he goes. We thought about the same exact thing before he did. There are alot of people that do not understand what we go through as military wives. You know, a friend of mine said something to me. Shon just re-enlisted and she said "why would he do that! Doesnt he love you? Why would he want to leave you?" and little do other people know it has nothing to do with that. haha I dont know if im making sense. But regardless I do understand how you feel. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a baby before he goes. Do you know where he will be stationed?



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