Jealousy is killing me
24 Replies
embarrased - March 29

I am posting this because I need to vent. My DH and I have been TTC for 8 months now. I just found out that my good friend has gone into labor and I can't help but feeling horribly jealous. I almost feel angry. I don' t understand why I feel this way and I wish I could just be happy for her without these jealous feelings. Has anyone else felt this way and what did you do to control your jealousy.


Sweetpea - March 29

I get jealous frequently. Sometimes at friends who seem to accidentally cincieve multiple times, and occasionally at complete strangers at the market who have six kids that they can't control and have a bump on the way... I just try to take it in stride and think positively that my day will come very soon.


JENZEY - March 29

Being that I have been ttc for 2 1/2 yrs. I have been experiencing this for quite some time. I feel the same way, I swear if one more person in my family or my dh's family gets pregnant I think I'll just completely lose it. I have watched so many of my friends & family get pregnant & have their babies. And here I am, still not pregnant. I want to be happy for everyone but it's so hard. I dred going to baby showers, that for me is the worst. But yet I still manage to put on my phony smile & torture myself by sitting thru the baby showers. I just keep telling myself that it will eventually happen for me. You are not alone on this one, keep your head up. Lots of babydust to U~*~*~*~*~*~*


Sally - March 29

A big YES from me, i have been TTC for 2 years, we are having tests soon. My sis in law is a horrid selfish person and was jelouse when hubby and i married, she grabed the first man she could got pregnant within 3 months and married him and then sadly lost the baby, now she is 4 months preggers 3 months after lossing her 1st. Then she told me on Boxing Day off all days knowing we were trying!!! Then a week later My best friend told me she is pregnant after 6 months of trying and they are both due in september. I have cryed alot and thinking "one day it will be my turn" is not working anymore! Then 2 weeks ago i found out My other freind is 3 months Pregnant! Well i was just getting used to the last 2 now this! My next door neighbour is starting to try this month and another of my freinds is thinking about starting! I am turning into a very sad angry woman. I keep asking hubby when it will be my turn?? He just says our time will come and the longer it takes the more special our baby will be to us, that helps me. Although it doesnt apply to everyone but i have noticed that some women that get pregnant quickly dont realise how lucky they are and what a blessing babies really are. (ie my sis in law) Good luck to you and your feelings are natural just have a vent and a cry to get it out of your system. Its ok to feel like that (so ive been told by my doctor). Baby dust.


embarrased - March 29

Thank you so much for sharing your stories with me....hearing them has allowed me to realized that my feelings are valid and that I should be allowed to FEEL them instead of trying to push them away.


Sally - March 29

I forget to say one day you will feel fine and strong and then the next day you will be in floods of tears thinking the whole world is either pregnant or against you in some way and you are not normal!!! This to my doctor said is normal and she hears it about 5 times a day from different women! So hang on in there honey we can all be strange together x


Nikki - March 29

I feel just like the rest of you! Jealous, angry and frustrated!
I want to kick the women at the supermarket who seem like they don't even want their kids because they don't even know what a blessing they are!
EVERYONE I know seems to be pregnant and they always know how to say the wrong things: "I'm surprised you're not pregnant yet?" "Are you pregnant?" "When are you going to have a baby for my kid to play with?"
It's their fault, but it still upsets me. My pregnant friend actually said "I hope my baby won't be one of those that cry." Nice. Why can silly women like that get pregnant without even trying?!!


Nikki - March 29

Ok, that should have said "NOT their fault."


Sweetpea - March 29

Nikki-I love it when they ask why you don't just have a baby... its not that easy for all of us to fall pregnant the second month of trying... I hope we all get out baby's soon


lilly2 - March 29

Hi embarrased, it is actually yours sadiness reacting from inside you for not being mom yet.It'll go a way if you concentrate just on your and as you know every person- other story!I am ttc since last june. nad 2 m/c and i am 39 with very bad past behind me.(been in abbussive marriage for ages, had my family in war, been a lone for 4 years...)and a had all wright to become jealoce on all other people who had normal life, families arround, babies...but i never alowed myself to become jeloce, i just knew it God will help me to go trough.... and hi is.He gave a wanderful guy for a husband and happy relationship and war stopped, so the whole my family is alive and safe all i heed somehow in this ages to become mom.My brother is younger 6 years and he has 2 boys, my first cousun younger 11 years, has a boy, my 3 best girfriends have a bunch of kids, and my dh and my friends in australia(were i live) every day some of them anouncig pregnancy.I had as well 2 iui and now every moment i am feeling af is here and it makes me sad but not jelouce.I know, i am different story from other people i and i am blessed as well b/c look 10 years younger than my ages, so i have to be happy for other thinks and wait my turn to be blessed with 1,2 or 3 babies.Your turn will come as well, just trust yourself and insteed accumulating negative energy arround you, try to spark with positiv energy.I wish you good luck in ttc and to you and all girlls baby dust.


embarrased - March 29 now i'm going to see my friend's baby. They are still in the hospital and I'm going to try my best to hide my utter jealousy. Thanks for sharing your stories. Everytime I read one of them it makes me feel better to know that I am not alone.


crystal - March 30

i'm the same way my dear and everyone know's it. there all very careful about what they do and say around me cuz they all know how i feel. i just want to pack my bags and move far far away till i finally get pregnant. i am so jealous but when i finally get to hold their baby in my arms, it all goes away and all i can do is just smile and be happy for them. and know my time will come. watch you'll see, when you hold that cute little new born in your arms. you'll probably wanna turn and run with it. hehe. i do.


somedaymomma - March 30

I get jealous very frequently. My DH and I have been trying for six months now, and it seems as if nothing is working. My sister in law, who has an eight month old, just found out that shes pg again. My best friend is five weeks, and two of my cousins are pg.I just feel so left out,and alone, and I feel so angry sometimes. I am so thankful that i found this forum. It feels great to be able to vent.


kellyann - March 30

i understand! i went through a major breakdown when a few weeks ago a friend of mine went into labor, and we have been ttc 6 years! she got pg on her first try, and it distroyed me!


Nikki - March 30

I know some of you say that you have moved past the jealousy, but I just can't seem to do the same. I feel like such an evil bitch, and sometimes I even act like one. I have actually kept my dh from seeing some of our good friends because the wife is 32 weeks pregnant. I just can't deal with the pain. It's wrong, but it's how I feel.
I had anxiety and depression problems when I was younger and now I see myself acting the way I used to, just because of the TTC stress. It would probably be better for my marriage if I just gave up! Have any of you ever considered adoption?


soimpatient - March 30

I have thought about it but I really think that I would feel like I was missing out on the whole pregnancy experience. I think my DH and I are going to wait until we get to the 2 year mark (we're at 7 months now) before we seriously look into adoption. I also have the jealous feelings and they are so painful. Not a day passes that I don't wonder why I am not able to conceive. It truly is heartbreaking. Everyone says "oh, your time will come" and when I hear that it makes me even more angry because how do they know my time will come...what if it doesn't? Thanks for letting me vent


Nikki - March 30

I know how you feel, it's been almost 8 months of TTC for us, and I am trying my best to be patient. I'm just thinking of adoption as a back-up plan - something that keeps me from falling apart and giving up hope. I helps to think that even if I can't conceive, I can still have a baby. But yes, I want to be pregnant and give birth to my own child - it's not really the DNA think that bothers me. I know from experience that you grow to love the people you consider to be family whether you share the same genes or not.
Another friend of mine told me not to be sad, because personally, she had hated being pregnant. That certainly didn't make me feel any better!



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