Is there another couple like this?.....
12 Replies
LH - May 25

I'm almost afraid to ask a question on this site....after seeing the attacks posted to some of the others who asked questions...but I'll give it a shot and hope ya'll don't come down too hard on me....Here goes....My husband and I (him 36 and me 29) just started trying to conceive #1 (on our 3rd month of trying now) and I'm worried that I won't get pregnant....The only reason I feel this way is because I feel as though we don't have sex often enough....I mean, we have sex very often during the time I ovulate, however during the rest of the month, we don't. Before TTC, we had sex about once every 2 weeks and were perfectly fine with it. I know that may sound crazy, but there was MUCH more to our relationship than just sex...We show our love for each other in more ways than just that one. Anyway, I read somewhere that a man must ejaculate at least once every 7 days or his sperm become immobile....I'm afraid that may be a reason that I don't become pregnant....Is there anyone out there who has/had a "sex schedule" like ours but had no problems getting pregnant?....I'd love to know in order to put my fears to rest.....Thanks!


Christina - May 25

Hi...well we use to have sex maybe 2 or so times a week, and now recently since trying for so long, this month we decided to do it every day, but not just doing it we have gone for romantic dinners, and not really planned it that way, but we dont know why we are missing this, or what is going on, so there isnt anything wrong with the way your doing it as long as the timing is right with ovulation and for the sperm i heard that too, actually when my husband got tested lastyear they told him that but also told us to let it build up and dont do it so much and that alot of foreplay excites the perm more and they move better when he doe sinside you, does that make sense or even answer the question,lol....and i have a friend who says she just wants to get pregnant and has sex just to have it and get it over with her husband and i thought where is the love? and here we are this couple who stayed strong for so long and love one another to death and it isnt happening, by the way i am 29 and my hubby is fear in any questions here, we are all here for each other and to vent! baby dust to all!


christina - May 25

oh i am laughing at my post i read perm it is obviously sperm,lol....


VR - May 25

I have an issue with a lack of a sex drive. I really didn't know why I was like this seeing as how I'm only 25. It has nothing to do with my husband or anything. Anyways, we have been ttc for 7 months now. Of course sex seems less intimate because it's planned. But I thought we weren't getting pregnant because of me, because something was wrong with my hormone levels. So I went into the doctor to have a hormone level test, and right away she asked the normal questions when your ttc. She arranged for my husband to have a semen analysis test. So now we have both been tested. My levels came back well above normal. However, my husbands sperm was in the normal range but on the low side, same with the motility.On average, we would have sex maybe once a week. I've done some research and came up with some conflicting answers. It said that building up sperm immobilizes them, then I also read that frequent ejaculation does the same thing. So take that for what it's worth. I'm leaning more towards ,the less a man ejaculates, the less "potent" the sperm becomes.At first we were going to try this method: we would wait at least 4-5 days before I should be ovulating before we have sex, then have sex every other day while I'm fertile. I can't tell you whether or not it's going to work. Then we heard that the more they are stored, the less mobile they become. So I think we're going to wait just a couple days, enough to let them restore themselves, then of course have sex every other day when I'm fertile.I have been doing alot of research on low sperm counts/motility. We're going to try a natural method first. My husband is starting to take a multi-vitamin everyday which contains the vitamins that are suppose to increase the sperm (zinc,selenium, & vitamin C). I also take a prenatal vitamin and extra folic acid. If this method does not work within 1 year, then we'll look into other options. Just remember that these days, it is more common for the man to have "fertility issues" due to all of the pollution and things that he might be subjected to. Believe it or not, something as simple as a man being around to much pestiside or certain metals can reduce the sperm.But about 90% of male infertilty can be corrected with supplements and vitamins. Even if you don't have sex that often when your not ovulating, be sure to at least have sex every other day when you are ovulating.I use the Clearblue Easy ovulation test to predict my most fertile days. I would try to have sex 1 to days before you ovulate, the day you ovulate, and maybe 1-2 after just to be sure you catch it. Trust me, I know planning sex isn't fun, but try to make it fun. Buy something sexy, use toys, or whatever the 2 of you enjoy. And if you use a lubricant, I recommend using Pre-seed because it is the only lubricant that won't kill or harm the sperm.I don't know how helpful that it is.Good luck!


christina - May 25

ps- we use to use the schedule now we just keep doing it, thats how frustrated and stressed we are to get pregnant, and its true we went to the adult store nearby got some toys, sexy lingerie, try to make it different exciting so its not just baby sex, even if its not all the time thats ok, when there is love shared and the timing is right, you are perfectly normal, everyone is so different.


LH - May 25

Thanks Christina and VR...I really appreciate the info......and Christina, I figured you were telling me that foreplay excites his sperm, not a perm....laughing...That was so funny!....Since I'm just coming off of the pill, my cycles aren't quite regular yet...I did use the CB OPK last month and plan on using it again this month...(my O time will be some time next week)....I suppose hubby and I have just become lazy in the sex department and need to step it up a notch....I told him that we MUST have sex at least once a week during the time I'm not Oing just to keep his sperm "alive"...but as soon as the time comes, we just tend to get lazy and let it pass us by.....He thinks that it's no big deal and that it isn't harming his sperm at all, but I'm really worried that when I am Oing he's giving me "lazy" sperm since it sat there for so long...giggle....After I O'd at the beginning of this month, we went exactly 14 days before having sex again.....and it's no more his fault than mine....Anyway, thanks for the input....It was really appreciated...and I'd love to hear from others who may have had the same issue as me but got pregnant anyway....So, if ya'll are out there, please let me know....and Thanks again!.....


christina - May 25

well i wish i could have said i got pregnat,lol.....the perm,oh boy typing fast is crazy,lol, anyway there were times we did that though i thought thats why we missed it cause around time of ovulation you just dont feel in the mood. understandable been there, but my friend was like that and accidently got pregnant on one try no timing and her husbands sperm was considered lazy sperm. so you never know, all my best!


LH - May 25

Well that's certainly encourraging! Let's hope I'm worrying over nothing and that this month is it!....<fingers crossed>........Good luck to the two of you also!.....


BabyO - May 27

LH- My husband and I pretty much have the same schedule as you and your husband. We have been TTC for almost two years. I heard the sperms does become immobile (a book called "Taking Charge of Your Fertility) but mine has more to do with an irregular period. Are you irregular? Well, I have all the symptoms and will go to the doctor on Tuesday for a blood test. I will keep you updated. I hope I am so that it can show us that we still have a chance and make use of that baby But just be patient. I also read that doing it every other day or every three days also helps. Plus there is what is called the lunar phase when you still are fertile during your cycle besides your ovulation day.


LH - May 27

OH BABYO!....I'M SOOOO GLAD TO HEAR FROM SOMEONE LIKE US!!!....I was beginning to wonder if maybe we were just weird because we weren't jumping on each other every chance we know it isn't because we don't love each other or find each other attractive!....It's just that we live an active life and don't feel like we have to have sex every other day to prove our love for each other....I'M SOOO GLAD YOU WROTE!.....I'm not too glad to hear that you've been trying for 2 YEARS though!.....I'm sending LOTS AND LOTS of baby dust your way!!....As for being regular...I believe I am...I mean, I just got off the BCPs in March....My first cycle starting on my own, I was exactly 1 week late (that was April), then my May period started exactly 28 days later...So, I assume that it just took a couple of months for me to get regular....If I'm calculating correctly, I should O at the end of next week...So we'll be VERY busy BDing ;-).....I've already told my husband that we HAVE to have sex Mon., Wed. and Friday!...and Today just to get us started...giggle.....PLEASE keep in touch with me....I've been reading through sooo many posts hoping to find another couple like my husband and I...It's not that I don't appreciate advise given from everyone, because I TOTALLY do...It's just that I sometimes feel like...oh, how can I say they don't understand....Does that make any sense?....My sisters and friends say, "just have sex 3-4 times a week and you're bound to catch your O time"...or "just relax and it'll happen" and I'm like, "You don't understand...I have to know when I O and I have to plan it because it'll never happen since we don't have sex but once every two weeks....and no, I guess you can say that we just don't have the sex drive to do it 3-4 times a week!".....Although I do understand that he needs to ejaculate at least once every 7 days and each month, I tell him..."Okay, we HAVE to have sex once a week!"....But so far in the 2 months we've been trying, after the week that I O comes around, we get lazy and do nothing for the next 2 weeks!....AAUUUGGHHH!....I just don't know what to do!....Anyway, I'm sorry to ramble on...I was just sooo shocked to see my post at the top of the list (from your reply) and even more shocked to read that your BD schedule is kinda like mine!....I really hope you keep in touch and I wish you LOTS of luck with your DRs appointment...You'll certainly be in my prayers....I can't imagine your frustration after having trying for almost 2 YEARS!......My heart goes out to you!....Perhaps after the Drs. help, you won't have to wait much longer!........Oh, name is Liz......Hope to hear from you again soon......


LH - May 27

I'm sorry, I meant that I appreciate advice, not advise...giggle....I was typing too fast.....


Nicole - June 4

Hi LH, my husband and I had a similar sex life. We didn't use protection for a 1 1/2 year, no luck getting pregnant, then last Fall, we were more conscious, sex every other day around ovulation, and got pregnant this January. However, I miscarried in March and now we are back to trying. I think the usual time (according to my Dr) is average 6 months to get pregnant, and I don't know if that's by really trying or by just having no protection. Good luck to us both!


Jill - June 4

I've got tons of pregnancy books and they all have something to say about how often to have sex when you're trying. Some of them say have sex every 3 days, but that doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Who honestly has sex every 3 days like clockwork, and manages to keep the spark? The ones that make sense to me say that the testes are constantly producing sperm and the older sperm are reabsorbed. So according to these books, it doesn't matter how often you have sex, the sperm don't get old. I hope this helps.



New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?