16 Replies
tanner789 - December 19

i'm sure some of you ladies have felt like i've felt in the past so i thought i'd share my feeling and hopefully you can help me work past them. me and dh have been ttc for a lil over a yr now. couple weeks ago i had my testing done: bw, hsg, and dh semen analysis. i get the results this wed, but am only expecting the worse. my re told me the hsg test looked good, tubes open and all. i'm a lil concerned b/c if everything looks good that means theres an even bigger problem casuing us not to conceive. i have tried clomid for two monthes and that didnt work for me, my follies were still underdeveloped. i havent had a period in over 4-5 monthes without taking provera nor ovulated in i dont know how long. my cycles over time just keeping getting worse and worse, how can this happen when i've been off bc for over a year. this whole ttc ordeal has turned way too stressful which i know i bring on myself, and i've become in such a fowl mood that i cant stand to see a pregnant person, or be happy for friends/family around us that are pregnant and delivering soon, it all just makes me sick. i know i have a long road ahead of me til i get a bfp, and am sure my future will consist of iui's and possible ivf, how can i prepare myslef, and possibley brighten my mood, not letting this ttc thing run my life?? please help


lovemy3 - December 19

Tanner...big hugs. I'm sorry you are feeling down. I'm not in the same situation as I already have kids but I do know the frustration because it has been 1 yr this month of ttcing our last child. We have always had the dream of having 4. I know how blessed I am etc, but nevertheless it is hard when you have tried for so long and nothing. I have not had any testing done yet myself and at the point I'm going to give up I think, my test day is Christmas morn. So I do have the tears every month and the saddness that comes with af. I'm so sorry we all are experiencing this. Pls just hang in there, there are so mnay medical things that can make it all possible, it will get sorted out and may very well be something very simple to change. I know you are sad now, but just think, a BFP may be just around the next bend. Hugs to you.


tk07 - December 19

i go through all those feelings every month. my cycles also just got worse and worse but that was after a m/c. they got more and more erratic and really long. i get that way about seeing pregnant women or hearing about someone having there 4th perfect pregnancy... but then i think too, about the random people i see i shouldn't feel that way because i dont know what they might have gone through to get pregnant. they might have had problems too. and for me knowing that i am not a weirdo and other people have problems (that do have hapy endings) makes me feel a little better. i am trying so hard to not stress about it all. it is almost impossible when it is time for my period to show though. i am going to be starting my 3rd cycle of clomid in a couple days. and also, my husband always has to remind of the fact that i have some other great things in my life and a baby is just taking longer but i still have a good life and this is just an annoying road block that i am waiting to pass!
good luck and feel better!


tanner789 - December 19

thnks lovemy3 and tk07 i'm thankful for your support i need to keep things in perspective and be happy about my life, as it could be way worse. my time will come i'm sure one day, good lick to you both


cspears99 - December 20

Hi tanner789 I know exactly how you feel, we have been ttc for over 2 1/2yrs now, we are both 33 and have no children. we did three rounds of clomid with everything looking perfect and no luck!! all my test came out fine, dh sperm a little low but nothing to worry about especially with doing the IUI's, we did have his shape checked at the fertility clinic and this is just okay, but good enough to not have to go to IVF, which we cannot afford, we are going to try injectibles with IUI its still very expensive but the results are much better than with the clomid, I am a little nervous we are waiting until Feb cycle to start. In the time we have been ttc I have had 4 friends get pregnant and have babies I actually went without talking to them that is how bad it got for me, my best friend here had her 4th 8 months ago I was really sad since of course she wasn't trying!!! isn't that always the case!! I don't have a happy ending yet, but I did go through an awful state of anxiety and depression and even tried taking anti-depressant pills but decided to stop and clean out my body to start the injections!! I am not just trying to put it in my head if this doesn't work its not meant to be, like your dh says everything else in my life is great, but I understand that getting pregnant would make if fabulous and why shouldn't it be?? I also missed my period last month and had to get the provera shots, hurt like hell, but got my period 2 days later, so now I am hoping I am on schedule and on time in january, I wish you the best just know there are so many woman on this site that know how you feel so vent at any time, it will happen, are you starting any more rounds of Clomid?? maybe you should look into the Gonal-F, best wishes let me know!! Cheryl


Lucky717 - December 20

Tanner I am so with you girl!!! I am having such a hard time not being angry at prego women. I hate hearing about other people's BFPS!!!!! I have played the role of excited friend for far too long. It's sooooo old now. I feel like I am standing outside of a window and looking in. It's awful. I will always remember this time in my life not as being exciting and hopeful but being depressing and full of uncertainty. So far from what I always thought it would be. Don't feel by yourself. I get it.


sumeetha - December 20

Hi Tanner,

I know exactly how you feel. Am in the same boat. Married for 2 years. trying for 1 1/2 years with no luck. Tried clomid without success. Going to do laproscopy on Jan 6 to check out what might be the problem.

All my husband's friends who got married around the time we were are having babies now. Coming from a traditional indian family it is difficult to convince my in laws that many women have fertility problems.

I get scared everytime I get my periods coz my Mother in law would get depressed and angry.

Anyways we just have go on and keep trying I think. So you hang in there girl and give your best shot!


star_4_baby - December 20

Tanner-you are in my prayers everyone of us goes through the same feeling once in a while and i was feeling very depressed last month a most of my friends are having babies and two of my close cousin had babies last month..i actually got depressed shopping for everone babies...and woundered when i will be doing for my baby...i know i shouldnt be thinking like that but its very natural......we both are sailing in the same boat...but i believe there is a beautifull baby for all of us...we just have to waite for the right time......Baby Dust


Tink - December 20

Tanner- we are all here with ya. i have unexplained infertility. it is frustrating. i have had all those tests too, plus 6 months on clomid and am now doing my 4th IUI.....still not pregnant and never had been. it is hard to get through, but i find it easiest to take it day by day and cycle by cycle. i just move on past the old cycles that had no results and try and focus on being positive and hopeful for the next one. i even had a lap in late october for endo. then did an IUI in late oct, then developed another cyst, right after my hard. i had to sit out. i was like 'why me?'......just take it one day at a time and come here for support. i know sharing my feeling and journey with everyone here helps tremendously.


tanner789 - December 21

thanks for all the wonderful support, it feels so much better to not have these feelings alone, and know i am normal and not an evil person. everyone around me has no idea what its like, they think i'm rushing things or too stressed, or it just isnt my time, i'm so sick of the same pity advice, and they dont know what its like. i have a girl at work who tricked her bf by getting preggers first time she tried bam it happened, now shes trying to give me advice and tell me, oh yeah were gonna try for baby #2 when their first turns 1, i mean come on why does she get to get pregnant and shes doign it for all the wrong reasons when theres girls like to be given a chance with loving supportive hubbies. well anyway my dr appt was today, and we decided to try clomid again, but this time we are using the injectables too, its very confusing, so i will be posiing a new board too on this b/c i need some help and advice form anyone whose tried this before. my re sounded very hopeful , ut then you hear about the people on here who have tried it all with no success so i cant help but not be positive. well i all hope we can get that bfp sooner than later, we deserve this.


iampg - December 21

hi tanner. have you tried bd every other day for the whole month. i say this because we claim we have been "trying" for most of 2006. but when we got down to counting the bd sessions (it gets pretty exhausting) we were missing in action. my dh isn't the stud anymore but we do want to have a sibling for our 7 yr old.'s what we're doing to take the stress away. every other night before i go to bed i give him a fresh instead cup. he goes off and comes back with a sample - no stress. i insert the cup and go to sleep. no stress. humans have been inseminating females for eons. it's only fairly recent in our evolution that we lumped it all together in a monogamous bond. we're going to have to get creative. best wishes to you -hmm. let's can you get more sperm more often enough not to stress you out?


cspears99 - December 21

Iampg, tell me again what do you do, insert what kind of cup? I am confused but I am willing to try anything let me know, thanks Cheryl, its says fresh instead cup??


tanner789 - December 21

iampg- i have never heard of that, but the problem is we do bd every other night during the supposed fertile time, but he works afternoons so i am waiting til 12:30 for him to come to bed and its very casual sex b/c were so tired at that point, i wouldnt mind hearing more about these cups even though my hubby isnt into masturbating too much-weird guy i know>


iampg - December 21
if you go for IUI, dh has to learn to masturbate into a cup - he may as well practice at home. priming the pump every other day increases the sperm count. it takes 70 days or something to make healthy sperm. so get pumping!
you don't have to watch! if he's shy he can do it privately. noone gets stressed.


cspears99 - December 22

Hi Iampg I just went to that website, I remember seeing something on those a while ago, so you fill the cup with sperm and insert it inside you? do they hurt going in and coming out?


iampg - December 22

no it doesn't hurt (unless you have some issue) you pinch it & insert it like a tampon while standing (if you lie down you might spill the contents accidentally - personal experience) THEN lie down. trust me, this is less intimidating than IUI. you should at least try it - it's cheaper (about $5 for a pack of cups) advice - their so cheap, don't be tempted to recycle them.


iampg - December 22

i want you girls to have a lugh today. so i told my husband this one - he laughed too. you get 10 guys and line them up. ask each one how often they masturbate. (most of them will lie or exaggerate) the guy who says everyother day like clockwork is YOUR man! enjoy also, many girls feel weird about porn so let him have it in private (they do this at the IUI clinic anyway) guys HAVE to orgasm to conceive, girls don't. we can have our orgasms whenever we want & without porn! aren't we just soooooooo lucky.



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