I can't take anymore, is counseling the answer?
19 Replies
crystal74 - May 5

I am driving myself and everybody around me crazy. I went off on my best friend of 15 years yesterday. I think she is trying to have a baby because i can't. This whole ordeal has made me very hateful and bitter towards life. I've been officially ttc for over 15 months now and nothing. had the dye test done, tubes fine. had husband sperm checked, their fine besides some motility problems. but all in all dr. said they could use his sperm as donor. we've quit drinking and smoking. i've had a 28 day cycle my whole life except last month i didn't o in april so my period was over two weeks late. now i don't know when i o anymore. i just feel like a big f-in failure and i hate life. i think i need counseling. please help me. does anybody feel this way?? and what should i do?


Katt - May 5

Have you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility? It's an awesome book with much insight and may give you hope. Hang in there crystal when it's meant to be it will happen. I have to hold on to that as I am 32 and on my second marriage and have never been pregnant. ttc 2yr with current dh.


wannabeamom - May 6

Crystal, have you had your progesterone levels checked? Also are you charting BBT or using an opk at all? AF was always 28 days for me, tubes were fine, DH fine and found I don't O every month and I have very low progesterone levels. Go figure. We all can relate to how you feel. I have been ttc for almost 4 years. Just know you have all of us for support and understanding. If you think counseling will help then do it. You can also try us first. These ladies have really helped me in the last few months. I honestly don't know how I stumbled on this site but it was the best thing for me. Well GL and YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!


KDR - May 6

Hi crystal, I have been ttc as long as you. My cycles got really screwed up on bc pills. I am on my 3rd cycle of clomid. Also had the HSG and DH has SA. All normal. Trust me, I feel your pain. That's why I really haven't told any of my good friends that we're ttc.B/c I know I will get pissed about their enormous fertility capabilities. My dh asks me why I am sooo jealous of women who have babies and I just think "you really DON'T understand." That's why I find this site helpful. Remember we are all here to listen to each other vent. Feel free anytime. Counseling can also help you clear your head so if you think that's what you need, go for it- there's no shame in that. Good Luck :-)


soimpatient - May 6

Hi crystal. I feel your pain too. I just bougth this book...The Infertility Survival Guide...Everything you need to cope with the challenges while maintaining your sanity , dignity and relationships. I just started reading it and so far it has helped me relax (a little bit). I would recommend this book. Taking Charge of your fertility is good but this book seems to focus on the emotional struggles a little bit more. Hang in there girl!


cmelissa - May 6

Hi Crystal,
I feel that way sometimes too. I've been trying about the same amount of time and we have had every test and everything is normal. I honestly think the BC pills screwed me up. My problem is irregular periods< i get them every month, but sometimes they are 30-4o days long and its hard to track ovulation, etc.. Hang in there!! This is a great place to vent b/c we are all going through the same thing!! Keep your head up!! I was always tell myself they are preparing me for multiples thats why I have to wait longer :)! Talk to you soon1


crystal74 - May 7

thank you for the support girls. I just don't get why i haven't conceived yet. everybody in my family gets pregnant at the drop of a hat and here i am wondering why not me. it's killing me. the doctors never checked my progesterone level. I have been using the opks for the last six months or so and have o every month except last month. the dr. keep telling me that i'm normal and to keep trying. and i'm like yeah if i was normal then wouldn't i be pregnant by now? i think they treat me different because i'm so young. i've got a question for you guys-I didn't o last month then my period was two weeks late. i use the fertility charts and it thinks i did o on the tenth of april then i had my a/f on the 21st. now it thinks i will o around the 21st. i don't get that. i hve always o two weeks after my a/f. which is two weeks before my next a/f. so i've been temping and using opk's and haven't detected my surge. although i have increase c/m. i think i am about to o but then again who knows. what do i do?


greeneyedgemini616 - May 7

Crystal74 most dr's won't do anything until you have been trying for a year and been unsucessful. I begged my dr. before but until I changed dr.'s and tolf her that I had tried for 2 years and never got pg that's when they insisted that they test. Come to find out I don't produce any eggs or ovulate on my own.When my dr. tested my progesterone it was supposed to come in at least at a 6 and it was a 1.Which meant not only was I not o but my uterus was producing a thickened lining either. Our you detecting a surge on any of your cycles?


KDR - May 7

Crystal, do you see an reproductive endo or just regular ob? Just 'cause an RE might monitor to you more closely and run other tests. I am going to ask ob for a refferal soon. :-)


crystal74 - May 7

well at first i saw a ob for the first six months. she told me to figure out fourteen days before my next a/f is when i o. she told me to try this for the first six month. that didn't work, so i went back in all pisst off about it and saw an RE. She ordered the dye test which came out clear. which sent me the results in the mail and said to try for another six months. well it's been five, and i went around that hospital and went to another fertility ob/RE. a one man who has his own practice. he actually delivered my sister 25 years ago and delivered my sisters first baby about 9 years ago. he's been with my mom and sister forever. i actually saw him when i was 19, and had been with my husband for the first year with unprotected sex. my mom told me to go see him because i would cry all the time that i wasn't getting pregnant. he gave me an ultrasound and said looks fine and come back and see him when i am serious about having a baby and have trouble. so anyway's i saw him back in march before i was suppose to o and he told me when i do to have sex then four hours later come in to get my c/m checked for hostility. well i never o. fertility chart thinks i o on the tenth of april when it should have been march 24th. this is the first time this has happened. so i got my period april 21 finally and still haven't detected o. been using opk's all week cuz i o two weeks after my period which is two weeks before my next a/f. i have 28 day cycles. but now i'm all screwed up cuz last month. been charting my temps for a couple months now. i'll continue to use the opk's and bbt till i see something. then once i do i will go in and see my RE/fertility doctor to get c/m checked. now you know my whole life story--hehe-sorry sooooooo long. but hope you understand now.


crystal74 - May 7

okay girls it's about midnight here in oregon. i think it's bedtime. am anxious for tomorrow. I took the monday off work cuz my honey reserved us a nautica king suite in lincoln city/Beach. this way i can relax and get my mind off thinking about everything. my honey is so good to me, i love him so much. well i will talk to you guys on monday then. love you all and thanks for your support. it really helps. have a great sunday. i know i will. it's suppose to rain on sunday and my honey bought us a frisbee. he's so silly.


crystal74 - May 7

here's another cute something for you all to get to know me better. go to www.fusion-graphics.com. on the left side click on the 3 p's. then click on pictures. then click on brians wedding. that's my honey and i getting married on december 31st. this is my MIL web site.


crystal74 - May 8

hello, i'm back. had a great time. beach trip was just what we needed to relax. i'm still not sure what i should do about my bestfriend. she knows we've been ttc for ever now and how sensitive i am about it. last week she told me that she's late and thinks she might be pregnant. i went off on her. i told her that's not fair, and she can't even afford a kid let alone keep her b/f in check since she calls me up every month to tell me that she found his ex phone number on their cell phone bill AGAIN. but he keeps telling her he's accidently calling her. she's so pist at me right now. but i feel that i finally told her the truth about how i feel. i think it's stupid to stay with him and want to have his baby. i'm sick of worrying about hurting her feelings. what should i do now? her b/f called up my b/f which there best friends and told him to not worry cuz she started her period so i can calm down now. I thought that was so rude. what should i do? don't you think it was rude of her to tell me, NOT KNOWING, that she might be pregnant after all i've been through. i'm so confused and frustrated. has this happend to you guys? and what's the right thing to do in my situation? thanks i really need some advice. this is drving me crazy??


crystal74 - May 8

ooops. i meant her boyfriend told my husband.


crystal74 - May 9

anyone-am i wrong for going off on her? and feeling this way?


mommy2josh - May 9

Hi crystal, I hope you don't mind me butting in. I know how you feel. I have been ttc #2 for 2 years and everyone around me is getting pregnant. In 2 years that i am trying one of my best friends had 2 babies and with only one ovary. Two of my cousins conceived and delivered and more friend or co workers then I can count. I find myself snaping at my husband and my poor son, who doesnt know what he did wrong to get yelled at. So I relaxed and said the hell with it. We are still trying and I am on my 4 round of clomid. As for you going off on your friend, if she is a real friend then she will not be mad at you (god knows my friends have been great and understanding) and will be more understanding in the future. Good luck. By the way I looked at your pics and you guys are so cute. Just have fun and try to enjoy yourselves, you look very young.


crystal74 - May 9

thank you mom2josh. i am glad i'm not alone on the "freakin out at people" part. i am only 22. my husband is 28. my friend said she was never going to talk to me again, but i apologized. i don't know anymore. i think at my next appt. i am going to seek couseling



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