how do you cope???????
9 Replies
ann - September 2

How do you all cope, we have been trying to concive for 9 months with no luck so far, im 30 and hubby is 34, we have been doing everything right all this time and took on all advice and diet changes etc. i took a test this morning and it is negative again. its getting so hard to keep positive and sometimes i feel like taking a break to have an emotional rest, but i just cant, i think its worse now as my family and freinds have taken 3 - 6 months. i know stress is a part of it and ive even given up work to lessen the stress, but i just cant calm down and forget it. please can anyone tell me how to cope with the negative result a bit better.


Sara - September 2

Hi ann. I know how you feel, and I have not an answer for you, but I just wanted to let you know that there is hope. My advice is to keep a chart with your body basal temperature, if in three months you didn't get pregnant go to your doctor with those charts. Keep track of temps every day, when you have sex, your cervical mucus, etc. The doctor will be able to tell you if something doesn't look right. If evertyhing looks fine and you are not pregnant they'll run some tests and will see what's going on. As for the emotional part, I just can't advice becuase I feel the same way, all my friends are having babies and sharing their happiness with me and I just want to cry my eyes out. I guess you just have to get up every morning with a positive attitude and hope for the best.


Ann - September 2

Hi! I may be able to help you! I couldn't get preg for over 2 1/2 yrs. I found out about this company that grows their own herbs and formulates their own supplements. I called them and they told me what to take and was preg in 2 1/2 months. My son just turned 2 on Wed. I had a m/c back in April and started on the herbs soon after that and I just found out yesterday that I am preg again! I know that these supplements work. If you or anyone else want the info. I will be more than happy to give you this! All these herbs are safe and natural! No side effects.And they come in liquid form. Please email me at [email protected].


Dawn - September 2

Sorry about the name above. I meant to write -To Ann-


Ann - September 2

Thankyou both for your advice, at least im not alone, that makes me feel a little better. i will start charting then talk to my doctor after 3 months.
Congratulations to you Dawn, its so nice to hear success stories, and happy birthday to your son. I live near London so would they deliver the herbs there?


Susan - September 2

just an fyi, here is my story... I was ttc with my exhusband for a year before I nearly lost my mind and headed to a fertility specialist, I was convinced it was me because he already had a child from a previous marriage. Everything was fine with both of us, but still no baby. mass rounds of tests, drugs, shots and bizillion dollars later - still no baby! So we stopped trying. we ended up getting a divorce but not for those reasons. I got remarried and within a month I was pregnant, a year later again, and I found out yesterday, am 5wks with # 3. My ex also got remarried and has 2 with his new wife. I am dont want to step on anyones toes, I just wanted to let you know that I understand what you are going through and I know it is hell (and we should all get a discount on pgts). I just wanted to share my story, and tell you all that just because you just cant conceive does not mean you will never have babies.


Ann - September 2

It took me 3 years to get pregnant and IVF with ICSI treatment (due to male infertility we can't conceive naturally) and the waiting is hard. All I can tell you is what helped me get through it. What helped me was going away for the weekend or on holiday somewhere I could forget about things. I live in London too and we used to take the Eurostar to Paris/Brussels or Bruges for the weekend. Bruges is my favourite. Also I got a kitten (small tabby female) and that helped me so much because I've always wanted one and it gave me something to mother. You should also remember that 9 months is not unusual, its only after 2 years ttc you need to go for tests so there's every chance you'll be pregnant soon.


Justine - September 2

Sorry that was To Ann!


kelly - September 2

after 3 1/2 years of ttc I hated everyone that was pregnant, it seemed liked everyone else was having a child but me. I also seemed as if I only ran into pregnant women wherever I went. I got obsessed with the thought of getting pregnant, the 2 weeks of waiting after O/ trigger shots became unbearable and every month after taking sometimes 3 tests a day, I even ended up taking them apart just to try to find a second line and then my darn AF came again. I stopped fertility treatment and convinced myself that I would never have a child. I got a puppy and started to plan out my life (travel, career etc) without children, I also stayed away from counting my cycle and sex fianlly became fun again instead of the "must do it now" that it had become over the years. That was month one after "giving up". Month two I painted my apartment and turned the "baby's" room into a brand new office for my super-career in progress. THEN my period did not start. I figured it was because of me getting off drugs and now I dont even ovulate on my own anymore.....But I took a test anyways (I bought only 1, something I had never done before) and looked at it the same way I did for years, watch the pee go accross and then stare at it just to not find a second line.... I could not believe my eyes, there was a really faint line in the result window. I callled my doc and went in - I was 5 weeks pregnant. So after all there is hope for all of us, try not to obsess with it too much, then it will all work out. the career is over, I am a stay home mom now and the brand new office is now my sons room. babydust to all of you......


Ann - September 2

You all have such wonderful stories to tell, im so glad i found this site. thankyou all so much. i know its only been 9 months compared to you lot thats nothing. i am going to book a holiday for christmas (my hubby only has time off then) and im going to throw as much of my mind into planning it as i can. im also going to try one month of no charting or testing to see if i can do it and relax and try and enjoy sex instead of planning it.



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