Help - what would you do next...?
11 Replies
NatashaV - May 10

Hi ladies,

I'm 35 years old, and have been ttc for exactly 2 years this cycle. Dh and I have been married for almost 8 years, and are so ready for a baby (we have none and have NEVER had a bfp) - we waited until we were ready and now ..nothing's happening! We've been to specialists - dh's sperm is good, and they've found nothing wrong with me. I've had an hsg done, had all the blood work done, and everything showed up fine. I've been on Clomid for the last 2 cycles, and also had 2 IUI's done. I'm on the 2ww right now, but don't feel like I'm pg this month (no symptoms). Everyone around us is pg, or has a's SO hard because I'm jealous, and I don't like that, makes me feel like I'm a bad person. I feel like maybe I have to stop torturing myself and quit ttc-ing, but another part of me doesn't want to give up either. This has been going on so long that it's starting to affect my personality. I'm starting to become a sad and bitter person because I feel I'm being denied the one thing I want - a baby. I know a lot of you can relate..that's why I'm seeking your advice. If you were me, what would you do? Would you keep trying with Clomid..? (which I don't like taking by the way - bad side effects), take a ttc break..?, try something else..? Thanks ladies..and healthy baby dust to all!


Galina - May 10

Hi Natasha. I am also 35 and have been ttc for 2 years. I am fortunate to have 1 daughter who is 10 years old, who was conceived w/no problems at all. Now, dh and I are diagnosed with what you have, "unexplained infertility". I have tried 2 cycles of IUI with injectibles. I decided to skip the Clomid route b/c I heard that you get a better result w/injectibles. So, I did Follistim for 2 cycles. I was over-stimmulated for both cycles and got BFN for both. Funny, I produced many follies and none were able to get pg. I had to take off 1 month, last month, b/c I ended up with follicular cysts, from being over-stimmed. Now, I am doing Follistim again adn am on cd10 today. This time things are moving much slower, as I am on a very low dose and follies are not being over-stimmed. My 3rd IUI should be some time either over the weekend or next week. So, that is a little about me. NOW, about you. I totally understand where you are coming from and how you feel. Dh & I are literally the only couple with 1 child, as ALL of our friends have 2-3 kids. I am constantly being asked, "why aren't you having your second yet? Why such a big age difference?" Those questions just kill me. First off, you may be pg now. When I got pg, I had absolutely NO SYMPTOMS until about 8 weeks. If this IUI doesn't work for you, I think your next step would be to try injectibles. With injectibles, the drs usually do 3 cycles. If that does not work, they recommend IVF. That is what I plan to do if this cycle does not work. I know it is much more expensive, but if you add up all the costs of IUI and the drugs (injectibles are much more expensive than Clomid) than ivf could be an answer. How is your FSH level? If it were me, I personally would not take any time off, as this is something I want so much. However, this last month that we took off really helped me relax and lose some bloatedness that I ended up with after Follistim. I amsorry for such a novel post, but I just wanted to share my experience with you. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you and a BFP. Also, DO NOT GIVE UP!!!! Oh, what dpiui are you now???


Ann1 - May 10

Natasha, I am 36 and ttc for 2 years (been with dh for 7 years). I echo what Galina said about having your fsh checked. Even if you had it checked in the past, if it has been 6 months, you should check it again. Also, make sure you also have your Inhibin-B and estradiol measured pm cd3 at the same time and do the fsh check as a part of the clomid challenge test (to make sure you don't get a false answer). If I were you (if this cycle doesn't take), I would do the blood work and clomid challenge test next cycle. If your levels are good, I would move on to injectibles. If not, I would weigh injectibles with ivf. If you are mentally up for it (I know it is tough!), I would not take any time off. Good luck!


Keeli - May 10

Hi Natasha. I'm 37 and dh and I have been together 9 years. We do not have any kids, nor ever had a good bfp for more than one faint line on one day. I had an u/s last summer and found out I had PCOS. Did you get an u/s test yet? I have no other symptoms of PCOS other than the cysts on my ovaries, which you can only find out about with an u/s. I even ovulate and have a regular af. Since the medical stuff didn't help me, I'm trying an herbal remedy this cycle. I took a soy supplement for 5 days early in my cycle (like clomid). Soy, which you can buy over-the-counter, apparently works just like clomid - reduces estrogen to give you a BIG LH surge. It may even make you grow multiple follicles like clomid does. We'll see how it works. I certainly do feel for you, though. Two years is a long time to not get pg when they can't find anything wrong with you. What other things have you tried?


NatashaV - May 11

Galina, Ann1 and Keeli - thanks so much to you all for your kind words and support. I know that others must be feeling like me, but to hear from you really helps. Now, let's see if I can answer your questions. Today, I'm 9dpiui... NO symptoms at all and frankly I prefer to imagine that I'm not pg, it makes af showing up easier to take. I did have my Day 3 FSH checked 2 months ago, and it was just okay, apparently it was on the borderline of being a little low (like 12 if memory serves) but not so low to be a concern. Interestingly, apparently my day 21 progesterone was really high..apparently this means I have great ovulations (big deal if there's no baby!)..but I guess that's one good thing. I did have a regular ultrasound as well as a transvaginal ultrasound, although those were both over a year ago. They saw absolutely nothing wrong though, so I don't imagine that's the problem. I've not tried injectables..I heard they can be quite scary in terms of emotional side effects. Have you noticed this Galina? I know that ivf seems like a logical next step, but I just don't know if I can do it. Part of me thinks it's no different than what we've been doing, but another part thinks that is the ultimate in 'playing god' to make a baby and I don't want to force it if (for whatever reason) it's not meant to be for dh & I. And, the idea of taking a break sounds logical too, but after ttc-ing like a crazy woman for 2 years, I don't really believe I could just let it go like that. No matter what, I'm always going to be aware of O coming and try to bd at that time etc. etc. How can you stop that? What else can I share...oh, my cycles are very regular (around 28-29 days for the last 6 months) and I've been O-ing on my own on days 13-16 since I started ttc. I should also mention that my mother tried unsuccessfully to conceive for 3 1/2 years before she got pg (she was young too..24 years old). Fortunately for her (and for me, I guess! :)) she ended up having 4 kids in FIVE years after that. Like her body finally went "Oh! now I know what I'm supposed to do!" :) Anyway, I'm very curious about how you all are coping - thanks again for your responses and baby dust to ALL!


Galina - May 11

Hi Natasha--as far as FSH levels, my understanding is that the LOWER it is the BETTER. The number should be under 12. For me, injectibles have been ok, as I have only done Follistim. The first 2 IUI's, my dose was too high for me, but I was never an "emotional rollercoaster". I just felt really bloated. This time, my dose is significantly lower and I feel just fine. Actually, I feel the same way as I would w/o the injectibles. I don't know what to say to you about your situation. If you were 10 years younger, I'd say, "oh, it's no big deal, just keep trying". However, now, unfortunately at our age, it is a different game. The ultimate decision is yours and yours alone. I personally don't believe that ivf is playing G-d b/c so many people need medical help in that department. I see it more like a gifted physician is going to take something of mine and put it w/something of dh's and put it back into me. It may not be the most natural way, but it may be an answer to something I want so much. I don't think that you are at the ivf stage though. I think maybe you should talk to your RE and discuss the option of injectibles. Whatever you decide to do, I truly hope you are blessed with a healthy beautiful baby.


slowpoke01 - May 11

I agree with Galina I am 28 years old and my husband and i have been ttc for close to 8 years I have just decided to see someone this year and so far all of my tests have been alright I go in friday for hsg test and then I will probably start going the IUI route if that doesnt work I am going to do IVF I dont think that IVF is playing God I think that God made these doctors smart enough to figure out how to do IVF's to help people like us who are just having a hard time getting pregnant I wish you all the best of luck


NatashaV - May 13

Hi ladies, I guess before I make a decision not to do ivf, I should know a bit more about it. Does anyone know what you need to do? I've always heard that it's really quite a lot to go through, and is painful to have your eggs removed etc.etc. but I don't really know what's required. Thanks in advance! Oh, and by the way I'm 12dpiui today and temp went down a bit..looks like it's going to be another no this cycle. :( Hope the rest of you are having better luck! :)


Galina - May 13

Natasha, you should talk to your RE about ivf and what it entails. From what I know, you are asleep during the egg retrieval so it shouldn't hurt. Also, you should googe ivf and see what comes up.


Tracy88 - May 14

Hey Natasha, I am 36, been TTC for a year and half, and did three rounds of clomid with no luck. I took a couple cycles off of meds and switched doctors since clomid was killing me.....I was a mess on that drug....side effects galore. Anyway, new doc just did an ultrasound and found two large fibroids. One is large enough that it may be causing me problems with implantation, etc... so now they are going to do a high resolution scan to see exactly where they are and if they need to take them out. My point is that up until a week ago, we were "unexplained". Keep going with testing. Have you had a regular old ultrasound done lately? When you do clomid do they do ultrasounds to check your lining and follicles etc....??? If not ask for that. I went through 3 months of clomid hell without one ultrasound and never knew why it didn't work for me. Perhaps my lining was too thin for implantation, etc...I'll never know. I think we all feel jealous at times and even sad when we see others having fun with their kids. There are so many emotions that come along with not being successful at this. I've considered therapy at times just to get over my negativity and to try to be more positive about the future, but just haven't taken that step yet. My doctor's wife is a therapist, so I just may go see her. I know it's hard to hear this over and over again, but your time will come, as will mine. I have a sticky note on my computer that I read everytime I sit down here (I stole it from another girl on another forum...I liked it so much) and it says: "Don't let it shake your faith....what you see is only a broken piece of a perfect whole." (Cadfael)


Galina - May 14

Tracy88, that quote gave me is beautiful.


Ann1 - May 15

Hi Natasha. Any news?? My fsh is 12.9 and my RE is very concerned by that number. It is still in the "borderline" range by most standards, but he says it is definitely a sign of diminished ovarian reserve. I am going to do ivf if this round of injectibles/iui doesn't work. I agree with everyone else that posted about how we have the technology and should use it. With ivf, you do an injectible cycle similar to iui. When you are ready you do the trigger shot and they retrieve the eggs while you are asleep. They fertilize the eggs and transfer them back inside you in 3-5 days. The transfer is supposed to be just like an iui. I hope you already got a BFP and don't have to worry about ivf!!



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