had abortion, now I want that baby
47 Replies
Gwen - January 19

I'm carrying alot of guilt and grief. I really made a mistake. I am 31, american and my boyfriend lives in the Netherlands. He and I are having troubles relating to 4000 miles distance but are in love. The second time we were together last May I did express that I wanted to use a condom. He felt he didn't need it and we went on having sex. He went back home and I found I was pregnant. I was so panicked because of recent events and being in two countries I felt I wasn't ready. I aborted it by D & C. I felt fine and there was no infection. Now, less than a year later, I want that baby very much. Here's my question. Has anyone conceived after 30 and after an abortion? I don't understand why I haven't been able to conceive since. It's hard to live with what I have done.


noams - February 11

hello Gwen,
I had a termination and D&C last year due to another medical problem. I am healthy now but can not fall pregnant.
I had no problems falling pregnant with my son or the second pregnancy. Has I am wondering if the D&C has caused problems for me too.
When I had the D&C the doctor told me that I would be able to have more children. Were you told anything like this?


Angie - February 14

Hi Gwen,
I want to tell you that I am going through this. So I know how you feel.
I just turned 35, I had 2 abortions when I was 26 then when I was 30. I hate what I've done and pray to God that I made the right decision. I wish I had both of them today. My new husband and I have been trying for 2 yrs now, and nothing. I hope we both still have a chance.
Good luck to you.


mulgajill - February 17

well, i had a termination done when i was young (genetic defect in fathers family, huntingtons disease)... this left me riddled with guilt for quite some time, after all there was a 50% chance that the baby would have been fine. Unfortunately, womans right to choice has made it very hard for women... you make the choice then regret later. However GUILT is a wasted emotion and reality is that d&c does not generally affect future fertility. Though not a religious person, I do wish that women did not have so many "choices", as you get older you have to make the "test for downs syndrome" choice... i dont know what the people with downs syndrome think about this, the ones that slip through the testing process quite like living i think... pony riding, cooking meals etc... Gwen, and others, relax, it is not some type of punishment (though the thought crossed my mind when i had miscarriages).... and yes i did go on to have two kids, first at 34, second at 38 years... and am ttc right now for no.3
and Angie, praying to god that you made the right decision, well in retrospect it was probably the wrong decision, but we ALL make wrong decisions along the road of life... trick is to try not to repeat them... also for ttc people... if you use lube, it is a sperm killer... hope this is some help to someone :-)


AGREE - March 4

i agree with last statement im affraid, you all had a choice and you chose to do what you did. Your upset now but its to late


a - March 4

I have a friend, she has three abortions, after getting married she has no trouble at all to have baby who is a four years old cute little girl. I did't say she did right thing, but science and religion not always same. Baby dust to all.


Jen - March 6

I had an abortion in Feb 00 and concieved again in April of 01 and had a happy healthy baby. Just keep trying. And for those who do not agree with abortions never say never you have NO idea what you would do if you were in our shoes. I'm not saying you should go whoreing around and terminating babies right and left but sometimes women are left with difficult choices to make and they have to live with these choices and look in the mirror at themselves everyday so lay off a little I'm sure you have made decisions you regret


xx - March 7

We all have opinions but don't be so rude about it!


Mythili - March 7

We cannot judge another person's decision.


mina - March 7

i hade a same problem like you i was maried with some one who i love so much and when i get pregnent i had a problem with him so i deside to loos my baby now i hate what i ve done i feel so guilt and i wont have a baby but i cant the docter say you cant have a baby s so now i regret and i pray to god to forgive me


WantBabyNArizona - March 9

I have wanted a baby for over 10 years and it hasn't happened. In that time my sister has aborted 4 babies...she had her reasons and I don't judge her for them. She went on to have children during that time as well. She has two healthy daughters. My opinion is that you may be letting guilt get in the way - I have a relationship with God and believe he forgives. Now forgive yourself and realize that you have the love for 2 children - the one you didn't keep and the one you'll be blessed with. Good luck to each of you struggling with this.


Bekah - March 13

To all those asking about fertility after abortion-
Whether they told you this or not, abortion can cause some women to have fertility problems. It can cause scarring in the uterus preventing implantation, or incompetent cervix, or some other things. These are complications of abortion, it does not happen to every woman so some women have no trouble conceiving after abortion, others do. There are also emotional and pyschological side effects of abortion. This is a awful thing to face alone, and you should never suffer in silence. Please seek help if you are facing guilt, anniversary grief, sexual dysfunction, depression, or other symptoms of post-abortion stress. There is help out there.


Shocked - March 14

to mommy of 5 posted March 9th, I cannot beleive that you could say that to these women it is fine for you to have your own opinion but come on you have no idea what it is like to have to make that kind of decision, there is no need to be so harsh.


anna - March 14

I think the effect of abortion to your fertility should be just like having D&C when you miscarry but didn't clear natually.


rakhi - March 16

hi im 24 year old unmarried indian, In our society its very shameful to have baby before marriage.SO we have decided to have medical obortion with pills. Just wanted to know will i be able to have babies after this. I mean is it safe to have this obortion as im 5 weeks pregnanat.


christine - March 16

to the coward who called rakhi a slut---you shouldn't judge her because you don't know what her reasons were. Maybe you are angry because you're hiding some guilt of your own? Anyway, what is it to you anyway? I think you should worry about yourself and leave others alone. We were created with a mouth to speak and eat, not to fart and shit.


To Christine - March 16

We were also created with a BRAIN and surely we should use it when people are sleeping with people they shouldnt be and not even bothering using a condom or something! She had it coming to her! Abortion is a cowards way out if she is old enough to drop her kegs then she should practise safe sex! Plus you dont tell people on this borad yr killing a baby just cuz yr suppose to save yr cherry 4 yr husband! Women on this site are having problems getting pregnant and she comes her telling us she is killing it!!!!!! christine yr saying im a coward 4 my opinion how am i a coward when im here saying it??????????



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