giving up
7 Replies
val - March 31

I'm really close to giving up TTC.I've been doing everything right,tracking my ovulation, taking vitamins and folic acid, not drinking ever, no smoking,exercising,I'm at a healthy weight, we've been married for almost 2 years, we own our own home,we practice the hip elevation when having sex, I even spent the $25.00 on the "pre-seed" lubricant, and still nothing. My husband does not understand what I go through every month when my period arrives.I know I've been told "just relax, don't think or worry about it" or my favorite " whatever happens, happens." The worst part of that comment is, that I don't have a sex drive. I lost my sex drive when I was taking Ortho-tryclene b/c pills.So it's not like we have sex everyday or every other day. Now it's more like maybe once a week. I thought things would be so much different when I stopped taking them. I'm starting to feel like less of a woman. I mean, come on, the reason god made a woman is so we can reproduce. We can do something that a man will never be able to do. It's not like I'm old either. (No offense to the older readers) I'm just saying age isn't against me,I'm only 25.My sister has 5 children,but she started really young. She was only 17 when she got pregnant. And my brother has 1 child and 1 more on the way and his wife has endometreosis. My husband has been layed off more in these two years that we have been married, than he has actually worked. Last year he was layed off for six months, went back to work for 6 months, then was layed off again, went back to work for about a month, got layed off again, went back to work once again, and now he has been layed off for a couple of weeks.He is in the trades, and right now the work is slow and he's the low man on the totum pole, so he's the one that gets let go. It's nothing that he's doing wrong,other guys have also been let go, not just him. But anyways.. Each time he tells me that he's layed off, I just want to scream and rip my hair out, and automatically the first thing I think about it is our TTC besides money of course. I don't know how many times I've told him that we're going to stop trying because we just can't afford it. Now, even though I have been doing everything right,even changing my diet,he has done nothing. I've asked him to quit smoking cigars and switch to boxer shorts, because I've heard that these two things can help the sperm. I've also brought to his attention that his 2 aunts on his dads side,1 was not able to conceive and the other took many years. She actually did not get pregnant until after they adopted. He says that has nothing to do with the males in the family. Am I being to over-bearing? All I'm trying to do is start a family, and trying to eliminate any possible things that could be preventing it from happening.I'm at wits end with everything. I know that stress could be a factor, but who wouldn't be in my situation. I pray to god every night, and I've come to the conclusion that god just doesn't hear me anymore.I'm losing my faith, my patience, and my mind. Nobody seems to understand where I'm coming from.I have nobody to talk to. I'm almost to the point of giving up on having a family, maybe it just wasn't meant to be for me.I don't want to hear, Oh your so young, you have time. Im my opinion, I don't have time. I don't want to be old having children. I want to be able to enjoy my grand children.I'm ready, and there's nothing holding us back except for whatever is stopping us from getting pregnant. Has anyone gone through any of this? Does anybody have any words of encouragement?


May - March 31

Val. I really feel for you and can kind've identify with what you are going through. I am 29 and have been trying to get pregnant again for over a year. I have a 3 year old and got preg no problem. I am so frustrated bc I have always dreamed of a big family and I really do not want my son to be an only child. I have tried everything and ordered everything. The doctors have checked my tubes, progesterone, and done bloodwork. No problems. They did put me on meds bc my thyroid was a little off, but that was 6 months ago and still no preg. Anyway, it is so upsetting every month. My husband just says it will happen when it it supposed to, but that does not make my heart feel any better. I did just order this natural supplement called Ovulex. It is supposed to get your body in tip top shape for preg. I will let you know how it works. I ordered it over the internet after reading tons of stuff from women who got preggo after using it. Also, do you use Ovulation Predictor Kits. Turns out I ovulate at different weird times every month. They at least help you know when to have sex. Good luck and please write back whenever you need to vent. This is one of the most trying things I have ever experienced!!!


Amanda - March 31

Val, I hear you loud and clear. All but the problems with your husband. NOw, please don;t take this the wrong was but it sounds to me that maybe the issues with your husband maybe a huge part of your problem. Does he really want a child? Because if he did, he would want to do everything in his power to help. But even before that it sounds like maybe your marriage had some issues that need to be worked out first. Once your marriage is on track, happiness may help your sex drive, your ttc, and your sense of self. Your are no less of anything. May be you need some medical intervention. There is nothing wrong with seeking some outside help. And by the way how long have you been trying? I will continue to check here for your reply. I hope I helped a little. Please don't give up. We can stress out together!!!!!!!!


Cutie - April 1

Val, I completeley understand you. Sometimes man can be that way even if they want a child. My husband is really helpful and he really wants a child but he can not understand why I cry so often especially when I get my period :) Good Luck Val. NEVER GIVE UP... A LOT OF BABY DUST.
Did you hear about
It can be helful . God bless.


amy - April 1

How long have you been trying? Have you seen a fertility specialist? Don't give up hope yet! You may just be getting started...there could be lots of factors impeding your success conceiving!


Molly - April 2

Hi val,
I really feel for you, and although my husband and i have only been trying to get pregnant for 6 months, i can completely understand how you feel. I am 26 and my sister in law got pregnant twice, the first time she tries. its hard watching family members be so fertile! Please don't geive up praying, God is with you, he is listening and he will belss you. But remember that we have to keep asking, keep 'knocking on that door'! Don't listen to anyone who says you're too young... don't give up hope. It will happen...


Lisa - April 3

Hi Val: I can truly empathize with you. I am 35 years old and been TTC for 7 mos. There is no medical reason why we haven't become pregant but each month AF keeps showing up!
Money has never been "right" for us and dh hasn't been ready for many years either. My best friend made a comment to me that stuck... simply put the money will never be "right". Getting dh to do the little things to help our process along has been challenging. Getting him to wear boxers instead is a recent accomplishment but he has no ambition to loose some weight or to quit smoking.
I want you to know that women are truly stronger than we give ourselves credit for. I know that you can make it threw this and achieve the ultimate goal of having a baby! You are surrounded by women who will listen and offer whatever they can to you! I tend to show up on this site whenever I am down or seeking information and this group has always been here for me and we will be here for you too!
I have determined that I will become pregnant when I become pregnant. I will continue to all the things I feel are necessary to acheive. I have also vowed to bop then next person who tells me to "relax, it will happen when you least expect it". Chin up! Baby Dust to you!


dawn - April 3

To all you ladies that have been trying to have a baby!!! I couldn't get pregnant for over 2 years until a friend told me about some herbs a nutritionalist formulated. I took it for 2 months and was pregnant. the nutritionalist said that everyone he has put on this has gotten pregnant in about 3 months. I have been telling all my friends that can't get preg. and it has worked for all of them!! There are no side effects. And my med. Dr. said that when I delivered that my placenta was one of the healthiest she has seen. I now have a healthy boy who is 19 months old and the joy of our lives. Anyone interested can email me at [email protected]. I have faith in this stuff!!!! It staightens hormones out and gets body ready for pregnancy.



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