Feeling lonely..FTTC....anyone else?
22 Replies
Diane - November 8

My hubby & I have been trying to get pregnant for about 5 months now and every month it's another big let down. Add to that the people who've been able to conceive evidently by just using each other toothbrush & the friends who have kids who tell me that I have to stop trying and then I'll get pregnant. If it were only that easy. I've been driving my friends crazy because that's how I cope with things...I talk and I plan and I think out loud. Anyway, I'm due to ovulate next week and would love to find someone who is in the same boat and who could use some support as well.


cw - November 9

diane i now how you feel. we have been ttc #2 since 03/05 and havent had any luck except to find out that i am not ovulating. i was on 2 cycles of clomid and then switched to femara. i am currently on day # 2. i have kinda kept it a secret that we are trying from family and friends b/c i didnt want people constantly asking if we were pregnant yet. i am due to ovulate in about a week and a half (if it works)... do you have any other children or will this be the first?


Brooke - November 9

Diane~ I am with you girlfriend! My hubby and I have been tttc for a year now. I havd a miscarriage last July, (I was 4 mos and my water broke!) No rhyme or reason....I know what it feels like to be so let down each month....I can't think of anything else....I count the days over and over....It is tough when our friends are becoming pregnant....uugghh!!! :) I am here if you need any support, or to just vent....this is only my 2nd time to this web site....and reading everyone else's posts have helped.....it is nice to know I am not alone....and either are you! Hang in there hon! :)


to diane - November 9

no offense--- 5 months?!? ah- the days of when i was only on the 5th month. technically- drs. don't consider that you are having "problems getting pregnant" until the 12th month. you are still under the statistic honey... try not to get let down, it's still early for you!! but i hear your frustration


Hi Diane - November 9

I can't possibly be in the same boat as you- I've been TTC for 18 months. Go through some testing- find out hubby has low sperm counts, get an HSG, an IUI and all kinds of blood work- then maybe we can row a boat together. Take Care- Baby Dust to you.


Molly - November 9

Hi Diane, I am hopefully due to ovulate next week too. Have been ttc 13 months, soon to be 14. I completely understand how you feel. It is hard when people around you keep saying 'stop trying so hard' or 'stop thinking about it' - how can you 'stop thinking about it' when you have started trying. Know that there are many people on here - no matter whether they have been ttc 2 months or 12 that know how you feel. Although you have only been ttc 5 months, its still 5 months - I was a bit concerned that other replies you have gotten were so insensitive. At 5 months ttc I was starting to get concerned and I had reason too, when it has ended up taking 13! So keep your chin up and ignore poeple that are so patronising... Give her a break girls!


Diane - November 9

I know I "shouldn't" feel bad as it's only been 5 months. One of my best friends tried for 3 years. But I see how hard it was for her to go that long. And like I said, it's esp. hard when one of my friends told me they didn't want any more kids and then a week later they found out they were pregnant. And here I just want one. cw, I know what you mean by not really telling anyone. We've not told anyone in the family (the parents) because I have this terrible image in my head of my mother in law looking for tell-tale signs everymonth. So far the only ones who know are my two best friends who I've gone to for advice. I'm due to ovulate next week so here's hoping. I'm starting to feel a little guiltly though, you know, planning my (sex)life around when I'm ovulating. My husband understands that there's more to it than just wanting a child but I'm Catholic and we excell in guilt. Anyone else have this issue? And I plan on ignoring the few that said I don't have a right to feel this way. The way I see it, I want this so much and feel this to my very core everytime that I turn out to not be pregnant that I just feel kind of like a failure when I'm not. The one thing that we as women have the God given right to do and it turns out to be such a heartbreak when you're not. Otherwise why do we have to put up with the mess each month : ) So I greatly appreciate any good thoughts I can get. Baby dust to cw, Brooke and Molly. Let me know how things are going for you. I can listen as well as I can rant.


cw - November 9

well thank you diane..and baby dust to you as well.. maybe this will be our lucky mnth to get the BFPs that we want so much!! i am really keeping my fingers crossed that the femara works for me this month. i am having little pains on my left side the past couple of days though.. hopefully it is just getting readyto produce a nice egg :) keep me posted on your progress as well :)


To Diane - November 10

Keep your head up and don't listen to any negative remarks.I also had been ttcing for 5 months and I got pg. At 6w (Oct 23rd)I lost the baby. I am already ttcing again and O'd Nov 6th.So I am playing the waiting game too. I am suppose to have AF Nov 21st. I used an OPK this month and have tracked my temps and everything seems hopeful so far.All I can tell you is that it will happen. I know it is so hard waiting and trying to be patient but your turn will come and you will be blessed with a beautiful baby of your own. Stay positive and maybe try an OPK. Keep us posted and I'll do the same!!Tons of baby dust your way!!


Brooke - November 10

...gosh I know exactly what you mean, about feeling like a failure! I too have friends that drink water and ohhh they're pregnant! I feel guilty planning "big fun" around the days I ovulate.....my poor hubby, I know it is wearing him down as well....but he is a trooper! I pray to God and I try to hand it over to him and believe it is in his timing....and I am sure my constant worry does not help.....I even look at the new season of maternity clothes! :) I just want one....and I am so very ready.... I like the "baby dust" to all, so I will end with that...Diane, CW, and Molly! :)


Molly - November 10

Hi girls, well you are all reading my thoughts! I began by not telling anyone, then i told my 2 best friends - who have also just started trying, and my Mum. It is really nice to have people to talk to, people who are encouraging and positive and won't keep asking you about it. My friends and my Mum ask me every now and then, but more to see that I am doing ok and to offer support. i think it is important to tell a few people close to you - its so hard to go through this alone! Diane i know the 'failure' feeling - every month it doesn't work I feel like i have a broken body, like it doesn't work properly. Brooke I know what you mean about planning the day to bd. Its ironic that poeple tell you'don't think about it', but you still have to cound what cycle day you are on, check cm, check temps, lay in bed for 30mins after.... blah blah blah!! How can you do those things and 'not think about it'!!!! At least we are all in this together!!! Good luck this month girls!


Diane - November 10

Oh my God Brooke! I know what you mean about looking at new maternity clothes. But mine hasn't been clothes, its been baby stuff. We have this Target outlet across the street from my office and some days on my lunch hour I'll go shop. And buy. But only non gender specific things : ) The first was a classic Pooh curtin set...for $4. Then it was the Moses basket for... $20. You know...things you would buy anyway, but that are just too good of a deal to pass up. But the worst thing I've done has been reading stroller reviews. One of the 2 friends that I've told one has this really crappy stroller that her mother in law bought. And I thought, I can't have that happen to me. So I'm sort of ashamed to admit that I've looked at all of the strollers they have out there and started a wish list on Target. Sad, I know but it helps me cope. To not give up hope. I'm glad I found this website. It's great to have someone to talk to and they don't think that your too crazy: ) Baby dust to CW, Brooke & Molly.


Mega - November 10

Good luck to everyone on this thread! It is tough, no matter how long it's been since you've been TTC. Because mainly we don't know how long it will take us til we're holding our darling baby. But I actually had to respond to the comment about the baby stuff & maternity clothes. I can totally relate! I look at maternity clothes online & fantasize about my own future preggo belly! And I also will occassionally stroll through the baby section of Target or Walmart. Just to look. It, too, helps me in some odd way that I can't explain. I know it'll happen, but til then I need to do something in the way of planning. I guess since in the end I can't truly control this whole cycle of trying. Just wanted to add my 2 cents. Glad to know I'm not the only one out there who does that. I knew people on this board would understand! Baby dust to all!!!!


cw - November 10

lol i do all those things! i even had to stop myself from buying really cheap summer materinity clothes yesterday. i was afraid that i would jinx something. :) if you think about it we picked a really fun time to get our BFP spring and summer clothes are always the cutest!!


Diane - November 10

So where is everyone from? I'm in Southeast Tennessee.


Mega - November 10

That's right, CW. In winter we'd hardly show & can wear baggy clothes. I told my DH I was going to steal his shirts & sweaters! Then when we start showing we can wear all those really cute maternity sundresses I'm always seeing. This would be a perfect time for that BFP! Diane, I'm from Ohio.


Diane - November 10

Actually, in a perfect world, I won't be waddleing around 9 months preggers in the middle of August out here. I also realized another downside to not being pregnant this month as I aimlessly wandered the mall looking for a Christmas present for my Mother in Law the other night. If I were pregnant I could have just given her the news and then a box of rocks and she still would have been happy.



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