early miscarraiges
29 Replies
Becca D - January 18

Thanks KJ, I appreciate the well wishes. I'm still in disbelief and still trying not to get too excited! I think once I hit the 20 week mark and have the u/s to find out what we are having it will sink in full on!! Again I am so so sorry for your loss. It will definitely get better...I promise..not that you'll ever forget, but as time moves forward the pain lessens. As far as the HCG levels...ya know, they never took mine. I had my D&C on Jan 25th last year and by March 1st, which was exactly 5 weeks later, I had my first period. The bleeding after the D&C lasted about 1 1/2 weeks I'd say. There was like nothing really at first and then it started like 2 days post op. I would think your levels should go down soon though. It is the hardest thing, and I am so sorry you or anyone ever has to go thru it. I really am...I don't think other people really understand the loss a woman feels at any stage of pregnancy, whether it be 4 1/2 weeks or later...the loss is still very significant...like my husband said...it's not just the loss of the baby we had for a bit, it's the loss of that dream you had going on in your mind of how the rest of your life had been changed, in a good way. I totally understand. Sorry for going on and on, I don't think I really helped you at all...but I just feel for anyone who has gone thru this.


KJ - January 19

Becca, Your response did help...a lot! Your husband and you are right - it is the loss of a dream. My husband and I had already discussed what color to paint the baby's room, what furniture would need to be moved, and a million other things. We'd talked about soccer practice, PTA meetings, and all the other things only Mommies and Daddies can do. I also agree that only a woman can understand the depth of grief felt by a loss by miscarriage. I appreciate this forum so much because you all REALLY understand how I feel. Don't get me wrong, my husband is so sad and he has been very supportive, but his grief is not as deep as mine. Unfortunately, it's a women's only group.


nan - January 19

Well girls, my dreams of another child was shattered today when I found out that i have anti-nuclear antibodies ANA in my blood. This is why i can't hold a pregnancy. My body is turning on itself and treating the pregnancy as foreign. This ANA is also associated with autoimmune disorders such as Lupus and Rhumatoid Arthritis. Have to wait 2 WEEKS to find out which stupid disease i have and what the next step for me is. Im devastated!!


KJ - January 19

Nan, I am so, so sorry. There aren't words enough to tell you how sad I am for you. Keep us informed of your next steps and know that you remain in my prayers.


Christy D - January 20

Hello, as I read all of your stories I cannot help but feel sad and comforted at the same time. Two weeks after finding out I was pregnant I had some light spotting and was told to go the ER - at the ER they sent be home with a diagnosis of a possible blighted ovum or possible silent miscarraige and was told to f/u w/ the OBGYN - I was devasted, but then when I saw the OBGYN I was sent for follow up blood work and a f/u ultrasound - and my hcg levels rose, and their was develoment inside the sac. I was sent for another ultrasound the following week and I was them able to see the embreyo. With no more spotting, and presenting with syptoms of pregnancy I was told everything looked healthy and normal. I then made the mistake of telling my family over the holiday b/c a week later at a ultrasound I was told that things stopped developing and I needed to get a D&E. I was devastated, but tried to remain positive and optomistic infront of my family. The worst thing is someone close to me found out they were pregnant at the same time and I can't even talk to her, and I'm already thinking of excuses to not go to her shower. I know it's selfish, but when I talk to her I can't help but be reminded of my loss b/c all I think is that should be me too, experiencing all the same joys. Anyway, I am comforted knowing that I'm not alone in the way I'm feeling. People who have not experienced a miscarrage have no idea how much it hurts. I wish you all good luck , and hope that a healthy baby is in your near future.


DS - January 20

Thanks for your posts. I have a healthy two year old son. My pregnancy was easy and uncomplicated. I got pregnant soon after my husband and I decided to try again. I was supposed to be due next month. I miscarried at 91/2 weeks. Dr. said it was a fluke. I got pregnant again in Dec. and just miscarried this week. I am devastated. The dr. is doing genetic testing to try to determine what went wrong. She is not hopeful that we will get any answers. She thinks its just bad luck. I really want to get pregnant, but I'm not sure that emotionally I can handle another loss.


BrendaW - January 20

I have had multiple miscarriages, all very early in pregnancy. The first couple ones I carried longer but after that they have been very early. The last time i miscarried a week after taking a positive test. No matter how early it was that was still my baby and i dont think some people understand that. It is really hard. After that one, i got really serious into finding out what was wrong with me. I went to a doctor, Dr Beer and he did some testing and has diagnosed me with elevated Nk Cells and he says that in some cases these cells can misinterperet the embryo and attacks it. Causing early miscarriages and the more you have the worse it is. It is a horrible thing to loose a baby you want soo much, and it is sooo horrible to know the reason is because my own body is killing something i want and would love so much. I am to start taking medication for this in a couple of months and go from there. We will see. If anyone else out there has had this happen as well and has gone through taking medication please tell me how it helped or didnt. Thank you very much and my heart really goes out to you all.


BrendaW - January 20

Hi DS- I really hope that you find the answers you are looking for. I know for me the not knowing why this was happening was very frustrating because you dont know what to do to stop it from happening again. I did all the genetic testing as well and they found nothing. I had done a lot of research on the internet and knew that there are also immunological reasons as well that could cause miscarriages. That is when I went to Dr. Beer. Good luck and I wish you the best.


Christy D - January 21

Hi Brenda, I just read your entry and am so sorry to hear about your multiple miscarriages. Your right, many people don't understand how hard it is. I just wanted to let you know that a close friend of mine also had multiple miscarraiges - I'm not sure what the exact cause was, but when she got pregnant again her doctor put her on a medication called prometrium (I believe that is the correct spelling) and she told me it was to strengthen the placenta. It worked, she had two healthy babies that are only a year apart and had no miscarraiges in between. Again, I don't know if this will help in your situation, but it's good to know that their is hope out there.


nan - January 22

Brrenda, I was just reading your posts and was wondering what NK cells are. As you know i have the elavated anti-nuclear antibodies (ANA) and that is also attacking the embryo in a sense. I was wondering if the two problems are related.


BrendaW - January 23

Christy- Thank you for the response and the advice. I know there is still hope out there but after so much it just is kind of hard to find sometimes, but thank you and i will look into prometrium. I really am sorry for your loss as well and wish you luck in the future and I really understand about the part of someone else being pregnant at the same time thing. This last time me and my sister would have been only a week or so apart and throughout her whole pregnancy until this day i still think about that. This is where i wouldve been at, this is how old my baby would be and etc. It is really hard to except but, with me other people having babies does give you a little hope and a little happiness i think. The best of luck to you.

Hi Nan- NK cells are Natural Killer cells that are found in all women and play a certain role in any pregnancy. But, in some cases, and not everone supports this from the research I have done- they say it is possible but not proven- they instead attack the embryo, not recognizing it for what it is.
This has been happening over the past 9 years and before i ever knew of any of this 'NK cell' stuff, i always thought it was something like that going on. But then of course I didnt really know for sure and kept trying only to have it keep happening.
I do not believe that the NK cells and the ANA are related but they do have the same effect and end result. If you would like to look it up you can go to Dr. Beer's website. I wish you the best of luck and am really sorry you have to go thru this.


nan - January 24

Brenda, I appreciate your response to my question. I am sooooo sory for your losses. I understand your frustration and feel guilty for being so worried about myself when i am so blessed to have 2 healthy children already. I feel guilty and selfish for wanting another after reading yours and the other girls posts. I have this longing that is the same as when i was trying for my first though and i can't help it. I am devastated! Good luck to you.


BrendaW - January 25

Nan- Please dont feel guilty. You lost babies and now may not be able to have another one. Just because you already have two children doesn't lesson the pain. It may eventually help though once the shock and anger fade. I am very happy for you that you already have two children. I still am going to try, though at times i dont even want to go thru it anymore just in case it will not work but a baby would be worth it if it did. The worst is the waiting and hoping and not knowing but i just trust in god and what he decides though at times it is hard to except. Even seeing pregnant women and new babies with happy mommies and happy daddies bothers me sometimes and i cant even look at them. But then they are such a miracle and i am happy for anyone that can have that and I will be okay. :)


pepe - January 25

hey ladies, ever try folic acid? i mean of course some multi vitamins have 100% of it in it. but i mean for yall to try a folic acid pill also. my mom had a series of early miscarriages. And she took everything they told her. Then she tried a daily folic acid tablet along w/ it (as dirrected by her dr). Within a month or two was preggo and carried to term. Now I have a bouncing 7 year old kid brother. Hope this helps some.



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