Another failure. Could it be the drugs in the past?
4 Replies
Nikki - February 23

Hi everyone! This is my first post, so I don't know all the pregnancy-slang yet.
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for six months. I have tried to stay calm but since this time is our 6th "failure" I am starting to feel extremely frustrated.
I had a check up with my doctor a few weeks ago, and he said that it takes a lot of couples six months to get pregnant. Why didn't that make me feel better? I am young and I've even seen a statistic saying that only 3-4% of all women in my age group would have infertility issues. It just doesn't help if I am one of those few. We have actually been having sex every day, with no luck. So when I get my period, I go back 14 days, and sure enough, every single time I should have ovulated, we had had sex.
My periods haven't been irregular before, but this time I am 12 days late and I just tested negative on a home pregnancy test. I haven't stopped crying. My husband doesn't know yet, and I hate having to tell him that it was another minus.
We both used to smoke cigarettes, but we quit. He also used to smoke weed and do meth. All that is in the past, but I fear that this is the "punishment." If it is, it's not fair. I see all his former friends, who are still doing drugs, get one poor girl after the other pregnant, while my husband and I can't have a single baby. Now I see myself turning into this bitter woman who can't look at babies without getting depressed.
I am sorry for all the self-pity, but I just needed to talk to someone and there's no one I can face right now.


kos - February 23

i wish i had an answer about whether doing drugs in the past has an effect on your fertility in the future, but i dont really. i do know that fat cells store any chemicals that were introduced into your system from 1 month to 2+ years (depending on how active you are). i read that marijuana stays in your system for about 3 months, cocaine stays in your system for up to 2 years, and acid and ecstacy stays in your spinal cord for life. when i was 15 i ran away from home because my step father was abusing me and i got into A LOT of drugs- i have literally taken every drug except acid and i can tell you that i have had A LOT of trouble getting pregnant. my hubby and i have been trying for over 2 years and haven't gotten pregnant at all. so from my experience i would say that yes, drugs do effect your fertility...but for others it may not-everyone is different. all i can say is go to a reproductive endocrynologist (i think that's how you spell it) and get yourself and your husband checked out and make sure you are completely honest with your doctor because they cant help you if they dont know what may have caused your infertility. i hope this helps a little...if you need to talk or vent i'm always here.


Nikki - February 23

Thank you for the honest answer. It helps just knowing that I am not alone with this problem. I just feel like such an idiot, thinking that I might have brought this on myself.
I guess both me and my husband could still have drugs in our system. For me it would only be the weed, but my husband has pretty much the same story as you. He tried it all at one point. I am mostly worried about his meth use, since he took that for almost two years. If there is a problem, I almost hope that it is me. He has been through more than enough and I fear that he wont be able to handle something like this.
Did you see that endo-thing yourself? If you did, may I ask what he could tell you?
As if this isn't bad enough, no fertility tests or treatments seem to be covered by our insurance.


Melissa - February 23

I don't know about the drugs at all, but I'll just assure you that it does take some couples at least a year. In fact "infertility" is defined when a couple has unprotected sex for 1 year. My only advice is that my doctor told me NOT to have sex every day during my fertile time of the month. She recommends every other day.


kos - February 23

trust me you are not alone! a friend of mine smokes weed everyday, drinks, and used to smoke cigarrettes (she quit cigarrettes and drinking though) and she has 2 children...that's why i said it depends on the person. not that i agree with it, but she's a good mom to her children so i cant say anything bad about her. i quite smoking weed in Nov. 05 because we are really going to try hard now, but it has been hard since weed helped with my gastritis. it will be worth it though and i figure it's better for me to have quit before i get pregnant than after anyways. we all make mistakes, but atleast if we try to right our wrongs we're taking a step in the right direction. i have not gone to see an RE yet, i'm having problems with my stomach right now and have to fix that first and then my hubby is going to go in for a sperm analysis. if his sperm quality and quantity are good then i'll be going in to see if there's anything wrong with me. i figure i'll send my hubby for testing first since it's easier for him and go from there. it sucks that your insurance doesn't cover anything...i notice a lot of insurance companies dont cover infertility treatments and i dont understand why not. infertility usually stems from a problem in a persons' health, so you would think they would cover it. well i hope everything works out for you and your husband...just like melissa said-doctors dont consider a healthy couple under the age of 35 infertile until they have been trying for 12 months with out a pregnancy, so you still have a chance. just remember that everything that goes into your body effects the way it works, so if you want to give yourself a good chance start taking prenatals, eat healthy, drink less caffine, and dont take any more drugs. i wish you good luck!



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