advice needed!!!!!!
11 Replies
Lucy - July 6

Hi everyone, We have been married for 2 years and together for 7 years, TTC for 7 months now. The advice i need is, all my neighbours have had baby's and most of my freinds, some took years to get there and some months, but what i cannot stand is them all telling me to relax and forget about it and it will happen!!! every single person i talk to says the same thing. How it happens when you least expect it! I need to know if there is anyone out there that got pregnant while wanting to and charting and taking vitamins? i am not geeting stressed about things as i understand it can take along time to happen, plus im 30 so im not spring chicken. But its driving me insaine trying not to think about it when it is all we want to make our lives compleat. I feel now that if i think about it it wont happen and im getting negative and i know that is bad. please help.


Heather - July 6

Lucy, Trust me when I say I know how you feel. Your family and friends are trying to keep you positive because chances are they also know exactly what you are going through. Stress plays a huge part in conceiving that’s why couples who have been ttc for years finally adopt a child and BANG they are pregnant. I’m doing everything same as you, vitamins, charting, fertility drugs, the whole deal. I’ve been married for 3yrs, ttc for the past year. I sometimes feel like it’s never going to happen and I have no one to talk to about it (except the 1 million people on this forum. LOL) You are doing everything right!!! Just keep going at it and enjoy. Try to have the attitude that if it doesn’t happen this month, there is always next month (easier said then done…I know). As far as you age (30) that should be the furthest thing from your mind. It will happen to you, just like it will happen to me!! KEEP POSITIVE!! You mentioned that you are not stresses, but it sounds like you are way more stresses then you think!! Don’t make ttc a chore, and don’t let it be the only thing you think of every minute of every day. (I’m bad for that as well!) I really hope this helps, please, please try to relax and stay positive….it will happen. All the best and good luck!!


Lucy - July 6

Thankyou Heather, Your advice has helped loads. I know what you mean about not having anyone to talk to and i am glad i found this forum if it has people like you in it. I used to talk to my best freind but after i went out with her last night she and her hubby have desided kids are not for them. I understand her point but i feel im more alone now, she is still there for me but i always had the feeling she didnt want children as much as me but now i know for sure i find it hard to talk to her. It will happen for you and me and i will be more positive. I was told by a doctor "see your period as a sign you are fertile not as a negative thing" Thanks agian, Baby wishes to us both xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


kc - July 6

I did the charting, the opk, cp the timing every month. It took us two years. I'm right there with ya. It really urks me when relatives and friends say just relax. Its easier said than done when the months of disapointment keep passing by. We have been ttc for 14 months with this one. (still doing the counting of days and opk)


Joby - July 7

I'm there with you too! At least charting bbt will put my mind at rest that I am actually oing. Good luck to us all!


Erica - July 7

Gee Lucy-It sounds like we are in the same boat. My dh and I have been married for 2 years and together for 9 years. Everyone I know seems to get pregnant rather easily and sometimes when they are not even trying to or even wanting kids. It gets rather discouraging, so I know exactly how you feel. We have been ttc for 9 months...just started OPKs, BBTs, and CM charting 3 months ago, but it feels like we have been waiting very impatiently for our BFP for years! My friends also try to be supportive by saying "It will happen...just don't worry about"...easier said than done if you ask me. Each month your hopes get SOOOOOOO high, and then they come crashing down when AF shows up yet again. I do have to say that there unfortunately might be some truth to what people say. My sister-in-law and her husband were trying for a year and two months and had just given up hope and bam!...BFP. She is now 5 months pregnant and is as happy as can be. I was really hoping that I might get pregnant soon, so we could be preggers together since we are pretty close. I wish I could trick myself into not worrying or thinking about it, but that is just not going to happen. When you want something so bad, you tend to become a little obsessed with it, and then it becomes impossible to not think about it. Best of luck to you. I am on here pretty often, Lucy, so I will continue to look for your posts since we seem to have a lot in common. Where are you from? I am from Minnesota. Baby dust to all!!!!!!


Lucy - July 8

Thanks everyone for sharing, it has made me feel better that others are going through it to. well i ovulated 3 days ago so im at the waiting stage now, the dreaded 2 weeks of waiting and wishing. Everytime i start to think about it i start singing my favorite song in my head, "i had the time of my life" from dirty dancing. At least at the moment im thinking about the bombs in london, my husband was at Kings cross and i am just so thankfull he is ok. My mind today is on all those that lost loved ones, i feel a bit bad for thinking my life is so bad as i dont have a baby!!! My heart goes out to them all and it has sort of put things in perspective. I would still do everything for a baby but im more appreciative about my life and what i have got.
Thanks also to Erica who i am naming my conception buddy as we have lots in common, my sister in law is trying to so im hoping like you we fall together as we are close. She has only been trying for 3 months. I am from Essex, I have never talked to anyone from abroad before. I wish you all luck, Fingers crossed for two weeks time. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


christine - July 8

yeah I hate the you just have to relax. Like its MY fault we dont have children yet. The meaningful advice was never asked for! People shouldn't give advice when we haven't even asked for it. It's hard to share about TTC as that's usually the first response "relax" sometimes (like now!) we just want to vent and release our feelings.


Lucy - July 8

At least we have found this web site so we have each other to talk to. I am taking each day as it comes this week trying not to get stressed. i even had a Mc Donalds today!!!! I havent eaten junk in months and it tasted GOOD. A little bit of what you fancy does you good my mum used to say.


Shells - July 8

I am going through the same thing right now.My husband and I are going through the same thing,my husband is very positive and tells me not to stress and I try it is just so hard not to stress.I don't know how to relax either.


Audrey - July 8

My husband and I have been together for 7 years, and married for one year. We have been ttc for 7 months too. What you are going through mirrors what I am going through too. I get SO frustrated when people tell me " will happen when you least expect it, etc..." EVERYONE says that! I know it is probably true, but I am so obsessed with having a baby. Everywhere I go I see babies and pregnant women..... I went to a baby shower last weekend and it almost killed me! How can you relax and not stress about ttc when it is all you think about, dream about, and plan for? Anyone have any advice? I am 27, so I know I still have "time" ... but I want a baby now! Arghh... :)


Lucy - July 8

Thanks all for sharing, I now what its like to see pregnant women and babies everywhere. I wanted to go away and relax so hubby and i hired a boat and crused around for 4 days thinking this is the place to not see any one pregnant or with babies. Well i saw 2 pregnant women and 4 small babies I could have screamed! I have taken to not going out much now as i feel better at home and when we do go out its late so the chances of seeing anything that upsets me is less. Crazy i know but im alot less stressed now. I have also told my family to stop asking "hows it going" im feeling better. Thanks again to everyone. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx



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