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I reread what I typed above--I hope I didn't sound like I don't like comparing some of that stuff w/other pg or ttc people. I like to know about the weight gain, clothes fittiing, body changes, etc. Just some of the people that have made those comments to me at the office have come across a little rude to me. It is odd, because I like to see my pg tummy, but maybe I am more sensitive to it than I realize. I really don't think that is it though. I think it has just been the nature and context of the comments from a few people. Anyway, I am going to take off from work now. I will be checking my BB for your beta numbers and will likely post to you tomorrow when I get online!! Our numbers were pretty close. Since I had 313 at 14 or 15dpo (depending on how you count O day), my beta would have been very close to yours at 17dpo. I guess mine would have been at least 626 at 17dpo. I am curious to see if yours comes back at like 8,000 or something that would indicate twins! From your initial number, it seems like a singleton. I guess you will know for sure next week!!

bad news-my hcg level went down to 91. My Re says its a miscarriage. Will stop the progesterone tonight and get af sometime next week.

I guess our posts crossed! I wish yours would've had your beta in it!!! I know what you mean about being a woman. Sometimes I just can't relate. Wow, your bbs are going to be huge. I am normally a 36B. None of my regular bras fit now. I bought a 38B, which helped kind of spread things around, but now I am out growing that. I hope they stop. They feel much harder than normal too, and my word that you hates stick out. It seems like the maternity stuff is sort of low cut (I dress pretty conservatively anyway), and I don't like feeling like I have cleavage at the office!! Yes, I got What to Expect... Honestly, I don't think that book is very well-written, but it is a guide! Another weird thing about all the weight being in my belly--normally I will prob my elbows on my hip bones, because the bones are right at the surface if you know what I mean. Even now, my hip bones are still right there at the surface. All the weight is not only in my belly but in the middle of my belly! It is odd. I look like I have almost half of a basketball sitting on my stomach or maybe a volleyball. I can so relate to what you said about the end result. I think about that when I've thought those comments were rude. After all the heartbreak with ttc that I have been through (of course no one knows about that), I would pretty much be happy even with an 80lb weight gain and looking like Jabba the Hutt from Star Wars to just be able to have a healthy baby!!! The bloating is very annoying, but it is a good pg sign for you at the same time. I also was gassy at first (sorry tmi), which was awful. My dh would ask, "Why do you keep going in the other room?" I just couldn't bring myself to every say, "Because I need to fart!!" I was hoping he would just figure it out, but he never did. Luckily, it went away after a few weeks.

Our posts crossed again. OMG, CC. I am so so sorry!! I am crying right now for you. That is completely devastating and unfair. If you need anything over the weekend, let me know. I will check the thread and you have my cell# if you want to call and talk. You are in my thoughts.

Hey CC... I read all your posts and iam totally heart broken. i really want to know what happened to you. i will keep my fingers crossed for you. plz do not give up... all the luck

Thanks Ann/Kotkot. Not sure what else to say..My lack of sore bbs all of a sudden probably meant something. Who knows. Im back to the drawing board, with no answers to any of my questions. Funny that we were just talking about how we felt like IVF would help everyone else in the world but ourselves. I think thats where I am right now. My RE talked about doing a FET in Nov. but I cant even think about that right now. Im trying to figure out a way to take it all in, and get it all out fast. I wish I could fast forward this whole thing. It would have been nice having a bfn from the get go, rather then have a bfp for a week and then have it taken away..Im rambling now. Anyway-just wanted to pop in out of habit and say hello.

Hi CC!! I am so glad you made it through the weekend ok. I know you probably have too much on your mind to plan everything out, but November sounds great. That is just awful that you got the bfp first only to have that happen. Like I said, it just isn't fair. Does your dr have any explanation for anything or does he/she just have the usual thought that it doesn't always work the first time? When you do the FET, they are 5-day blasts, aren't they? I am glad you at least won't have to go through the surgery again. I am so relieved to hear from you!!! I have worried about you all weekend.

Hi Ann-just stopping in to say hi. I think about you every day. Still struggling with everything. Not sure what Im going to do. My RE is now suggesting PGD to check each embie we have frozen for abnormalities. I have been spending my time researching that and trying to learn as much as I can. Im confused really, and not sure if its the right thing to do. I dont think November is going to work for us, schedule/holiday wise, and if we do the PGD its an extra cost that Im not sure we want to have during the holidays. For now, we are on hold and undecided. I just hate that Im in this place again. Anyway-I hope that you are doing really well. I know you dont have another appointment for a week or so, but I will look forward to hearing your update (I think its on the 25th?) I hope you and Zane are well.

I am sorry to hear that you are in such a quandry. Is there any other testing that can be done regarding implantation that would be covered by your insurance? I know you were on progesterone, but is it possible there is still an issue with implanting? I know you probably can't even think straight right now and you don't even want to think about it. I also wondered if it could be the difference between a 3-day transfer and a 5-day. I didn't know if one worked better than the other. I was always under the impression that the 5-day was better, because maybe the embies would show a difference if given 2 more days to grow. I don't know. I have been thinking about you constantly and have all this stuff running through my head. I hope I am not taxing your brain even more w/too much too soon. I tend to over analyze...I wouldn't try to make any decisions right now. I would just give yourself another week at least to regroup a little. This wound is really fresh. Is the pgd really expensive? I know you feel tapped out on $$, but that would sure be a good holiday present to you and your dh! At the same time, ivf doesn't work for everyone on the first try. Pgd may be jumping the gun a little in my opinion. Like I said, I wouldn't make any decisions right now while your head is still swimming with everything. I hate that you are in this situation again. Let me know how you are doing when you can. Or just chat about non-ttc stuff anytime. I miss you! Post when you feel like it and I really hope you are ok.

Hi Ann-was thinking about you yesterday and today, and thought I would say hello. I hope you and Zane are doing well. I miss talking to you, but a break is what I needed. Whats going on w/ you? After a lot of research, dh and I have decided not to do PGD at this point. We will do a FET in Dec (maybe?) and if that doesnt work, we will do another fresh cycle, and maybe think about PGD at that point. You have an appointment on Monday right? I bet you are really excited!

Hi CC. I check for you every day to see if you have posted! I totally understand that you needed a break from all this madness. I am fine aside from having a stomach virus last weekend. I couldn't keep anything down and lost 2.5lbs from Wednesday to Saturday. Now I have gained it all back! Work has been pretty bad this week, too, and missing Monday from being sick sure didn't help. I am super glad to hear that you are going to do a FET. I think having a plan in place really helps. Yes, my appt is Monday. I had a check up this week on Tuesday. My ob/gyn did an u/s for the heck of it (no charge--she had a surgery cancel and extra time). Zane was looking down with legs crossed, so I still don't have "boy" confirmation. I hope I get that Monday. They took blood for the AFP screen and I should have results back in about a week. What have you been doing? Did you take some time off work?

A stomach virus, that sounds yucky! Im sorry you were feeling so horrible, but glad you are back up and running. How nice, a free u/s!! I would think a peek in there is always nice to have, whenever you can get it. AFP screen, what exactly are they screening for? My brother is in town visiting from Colorado w/ his roomate (he is 23) so that has kept me busy this week. Last weel was horrible, and I felt like I was in a fog or daze all week. I am doing much better then last week, thats for sure. No time off from work, Im trying to really bank hours ago. I exhausted so much time off, from my Dad passing away in Feb, and all the time off for my cycles, etc. I will take about a week off over Thanksgiving, and then need time off, whenever I cycle again, so Im trying not to miss any work. Overall, mentally, I am in a much better place, and that is a good thing. I have missed you : (

I am pretty sure the AFP is the spina bifida test. That is cool that your brother is visiting. It should keep you busy in a good way! I am sure it was hard, but that is good you didn't miss work and can save your time off. I am soooo glad you are feeling better. I have really missed talking to you!! I got some football tix to go to see a Chiefs game in KC. We go the first weekend in October. It should be fun. My dss has fall break that week, so we can get away for a few days. I am going to stop by and see my dad on the way and a high school friend of mine that I only see every couple of years. Do you have any plans coming up?

Hi CC. I hope you are doing ok and had a good visit with your brother! I had my level 2 this morning. I got to see the parts of the brain, the kidneys, stomach, all 10 fingers and toes, the lips, the spine, the ribs, all the chambers of the heart, and the blood pumping all over. It was so neat. I didn't get to see any 3-D pics like some drs do, though. As suspected at 12 weeks, it is a confirmed boy!! The dr said that everything looks completely normal. I am so happy and relieved! We celebrated dss' bday yday. I cooked penne w/a spicy cajun/chipotle cream sauce and sausage and chicken. I also baked a chocolate cake (per dss request). Needless to say, I didn't get my chores done...let me know how you are doing when you can!!