***Baby Hopes 2006 Part 2***
85 Replies
MO - March 14

Hey Ladies – How goes it?! It has been a LONG time ‘eh?! I am sorry to have banned the board – needed to try & push the TTC mission out of my head as well, you need sex to be successful in such an endeavor & I wasn’t getting any for 9+ weeks! DH just got back from Australia last Wednesday – WooHoo!! I was so thrilled! Although, he came home with bad jetlag & the flu – so naturally, I tried to take care of him & got sick as well… We’ve both been laid up in bed on meds & antibiotics – hacking, spitting, coughing, wheezing, whining & watching movies – despite the miserable sickness – it was nice to snuggle for 4 days & be together again! Although, ladies as we know all too well – potent antibiotics = yeast infection!!! Great!!!! Just Great!!! Lol – & would you guess it, Friday afternoon that blasted AF came & got me! Damnit, sometimes you just can’t win!!! So…. we had that night of amazing reunion sex on Wednesday, again on Thursday – got sick towards the evening – woke up miserable Friday - started AF & a course of Levaquin antibiotics – Felt the yeast coming on Sunday & have been supplementing with acidophilus. Thinking of buying stock in Activa I’ve been eating so much! LOL!! Ahh… so yeah, today is day 5 – I have a full course of Clomid – I’m thinking about it…. Should I start it?! After all, DH leaves again on April 10th for another months & a half…. So if I don’t try this month – I’m $h!t out of luck until June so again – the crucial sex schedule lies in front of me, thus the problem…. I feel that the stress of hoping & praying & timing & hoping & praying & timing may be my biggest stress factor so a part of me wants to say you know what – God is telling me that I am just not meant to have a family… My body is telling me that I will go crazy before I give up & my heart is almost telling me that maybe I need to reconsider my marriage…. I know that sounds awful but all the time totally ALONE & INFERTILE recently has me almost resenting my husband & thinking depression induced resentment based thoughts… That maybe DH & I just aren’t meant to be…. It will be coming on 2 years of TTC w/ no success & an “unexplained infertility” diagnosis…. I think of all the time I sit alone. All the time, money & emotion I have invested into this – the completion of our family & I get so depressed. I think about the fact that he has a child already, from a one-night stand 3 years ago & I think about how some 19 year old girl can be successful in a mistake of TTC & I just feel like a failure as a woman…. I know it pains him to see each month how we are making no progress. He is getting fed up with the temps & the charts & the sex days & the supplements & the talks about it & the tests & the meds & the Dr’s & the “lack of sex appeal of the whole baby-making process” -He told me the other day “don’t worry about it sweetie, maybe we should just look at adoption down the road since this just isn’t working out. I have a bloodline to extend my family in my daughter & your sister & brother between their 5 kids have a bloodline to extend your family so, maybe we should just focus on other things because I am tired of trying.” –I mean, sure thanks for the support – it’s big of him to be open to alternatives but at the same time it’s a slap in the face!!! I have AF monthly, my tubes are open & clear & there & my ovaries produce follicles, & I ovulate & my hormones are in-line etc…etc… Nobody ever told us that I have a problem?! –Maybe I am just being too sensitive but it’s just that the more I go on the more I change my perspective – the further he gets disenchanted with our sex life, with me, with this whole thing… The schedule gets booked & the months go by & I just sit & sulk & question if things really do (or don’t) happen for a reason….

 

MO - March 14

So all that aside,,,,,, I am doing great!!! Thank god the weather is warming up – work is killing me with non-stop meetings, conferences & day trips. I am planning for a big event at NYU at close of the month & am under serious deadlines– God, Friday just doesn’t come fast enough! Shawna, I feel for you as you are approaching the one-year mark & I am praying that you get that BFP! Watch out for the Clomid as the side effects can be much like PG symptoms – here’s to your success!!!! Elena – hope you are having an enjoyable pregnancy – congratulations & take care of yourself, keep the girls posted! Kristi, Hey girlie! Glad you are back in the game & again I am sorry for your unfortunate experience – your outlook is an inspiration! Here’s to your success!! Jamaica?!??! I can dig it! I have a site I use for Caribbean travel – they have smoking hot deals on packages for air & hotel & best part = they are all inclusive so all meals & drinks are covered! You can go for about $750 a person including air (at least from NY at that rate) definitely check it out;;;; http://book.changes.com/index.php --------BABY DUST TO YOU ALL!!

 

MO - March 14

Thanks for keeping the group alive despite the folks we've lost & the communication gaps - I appreciate you girls & wish you the very very best in completing your families! Like I said. I have the Clomid. Part of me wants to say f&c% it – it wont work & I will be more torn up all over again a month from now when AF shows up – the other part of me says, why not – it’s day 5 & DH will be home all month, we can BD everyday & try to relax (easier said than done) – you never know unless you try right!? But like my first post, I am almost resentful & bitter & angry about the whole thing…. However, as we all know the vicious TTC game – weather I do or don’t take the Clomid – the 2WW will take a toll on my mind anyway… Who am I kidding?!? The mere knowledge of sex during a potential time-frame is enough ot have you stressing all the way until AF! You know, there just isn’t any “relaxing” in this! So it’s either; start Clomid today – grit & bear it & BD & prepare for the BFN or don’t & BD au-natural & grit & bear it & prepare for the BFN & know that I will be out of the game again until June…. I just feel like quitting – Argh! I guess I will hash it out & let you know how things end up - Cheers to you all!

 

mommymcblue - March 14

Good luck to all of you! I had no trouble getting pregnant with my ex-husband the first time around. I have a 3-year-old dd. I am now remarried and ttc #2 and having one heck of a time. I have crazy cycles and this month I don't even think I o'ed at all. I have been reading your posts for a long time, but this is the first time writing. Thanks for letting me intrude.

 

Shawna - March 14

Welcome back Monica! You almost made me cry. This is so frustrating! Have you had your cm analyzed? I think it is a post coital test. They test your cm after having sex. Sometimes it can become hostile and kill off the little spermies! Keep strong Monica. If you choose to do the clomid this week, I'll be right along side of you. AF showed up this morning. I was so dame sure I was pregnant. I've never been so shocked as I was this morning when she showed. So I will go pick up some more clomid. Obviously the 50 mg didn't work. Perhaps when I go to the pharmacist, I'll ask her to give 2 months worth and double it. The dr prescribed me 6 months of 50 mg of clomid, so if I double it, it will be 100mg, do you think it is alright if I do that? I will follow the same schedule as last cycle. After this month coming up of trying, we are tatking a break. Taylor is an accountant and Jan to March is tax season, so he doesn't want any babies being born then. So I guess we'll be taking a break for 3 months, but hopefully this next round will work and we'll have a Christmas baby. I always said I never wanted a Christmas baby, but who would have thought it would be so hard to make one! I'll take what I can get! Thanks for your answers Kristi! Hopefully this is your month! We'll be two and a half weeks apart! Take care everyone! Sorry if there is any spelling mistakes, but this has been too long and I don't feel like reading it through again!!!

 

Elena - March 15

Hi ladies just came back from the doctor and actually saw the baby this time. The baby was moving around like crazy and it was sucking on its finger and kicking it was amazing. My husband was in SHOCK to see how much the baby has grown in the past 3 weeks. Today I'm 12 weeks and 2 days. Everything with the baby looked normal. But they did find out that I have placenta previa which they said really is not a big deal about 50% of pregnant women get it and for some it goes back to being normal. If it does not go back to normal then I will have to have a c-section. We will see but wanted to catch you ladies up. Well really tired had a very exciting morning. talk to you later**baby dust**

 

Kristi - March 15

Hi ladies!! Glad to hear from you Monica! Wow, I wish there was something I could do for you....I say take the Clomid, if you dont your always going to wonder what if.... As far as dh and bding, maybe dont tell him you took the Clomid and just try to make the bding as casual and spontaneus as you can.... I am taking this round alot lighter and not obsessing about it, i think the mc has been being alot more cautious, but also i am just trying to take on the attitude that if not this month, then maybe next month and just take it one Clomid cycle at a time ;-) i know that is much easier said than done, but that is what i am doing to get through it.... Be happy your dh is open to adoption, mine says he does not want to adopt, soooo....lets hope the clomid works! Let us know what you decide and how things go! Shawna, sorry about AF, i was pullig for ya!! i would just stick with the 50mg...this only your second round right? or is this your 3rd?? my Dr had me go two rounds before upping to 100mg which i ended up not doing becuase of the pg/mc, and am starting back with the 50mg...and it was the 2nd month on 50mg that i got pg.... Elena, how exciting and so glad to hear from you!! Mommymcblue, welcome and join in anytime!! I bet kellie got a bfp, thats why shes not back!! Congrats if she did!! Well, talk to you ladies later and good luck with everything!! Mo, thanks for the website, I will check it out!

 

MO - March 15

Hey girls! Elena - good for you girl - I bet you are thrilled!! Do we know the sex yet?! Shawna, I am with you on double doing to 100mg - Honestly, funny that you mention it - that’s exactly what I was thinking!! Honestly on my first round - if you recall, I was concerned that the 50 mg wasn’t working!!! I had, at worst - a mild headache & random shooting ovarian pain here & there - a hot flash maybe 4-5 times throughout the cycle... My Dr. actually suggested I up the dose going forward "depending on how aggressive I wanted to approach this” –hmm, funny to me how she would hint at PCO’ish pearl-strand ovary appearance & then suggest I go ahead & double up to 100mg & chance over-stimulation… I don’t know – at this point I can pretty well say I’d risk a couple of cysts for the chance to be successful so…. I am doubling up to 100 – let me know if you do the same. Are you on the 3-7 or 5-9 – I spoke to my Dr again yesterday with my dilemma & she suggested that since I naturally O late – I start today CD6 thru CD10…. I’ve never heard of this range but – I guess I can see her point as I typically wont O until CD23+… I guess I’m taking Kristi’s advice & am going to take the Clomid before bed & behind DH’s back – I mean, I know I will end up telling him after CD10 but I don’t want his performance anxiety pressure sex tactics to set in not do I want him baby-ing me into being whiny & emotional - then we end up talking / obsessing about it way to much.. He is exhausted after all the traveling & I understand – we want to try & relax & take it back to the spontaneous lust we once had early in our marriage so – okay, let’s just hope I can mask the emotional roller coaster long enough to get thru this cycle of Clomid (hopefully this time no strep throat at the end!) –I will pair it up with Guafasin to thin out 7 help produce more CM… You might be on to something w/ the CM question – I am not without CM but it is most always creamy / runny & will be egg white & stretchy once a month for a day or so but never around my O – strange eh?!?! Well – here’s to all of our next rounds – Kristi, keep me posted doll - & do tell about your vacation once you have it booked! Cheers!!!

 

Shawna - March 15

Elena, I'm so freaking jealous of you right now!!! Just kidding!! Actually I am jealous, but not in a a green-eyed monster kind of way! Are you going to find out what you are having? Have you brought in a videotape to an ultrasound yet. Congratulations on making it to the second trimester, now the fun really begins! Kristi and Monica thank you so much for giving such honest and sound and conflicting advice! You were both supposed to agree with me! I am thinking I might just do the 50mg since I already have a small cyst on my right ovary. I had weird ovary pains right up until last week, so I have no idea when I o. We'll just have to have lots and lots of sex! This past cycle was 34 days which has me excited since my last one was 57 days. I even got this af on my own which I am taking as a good sign. So according to an ovulation calendar I was looking at, I should o around April1-3 and if a baby is conceived the estimated due date is December 25. There is no way I am going to share that bit of news with Taylor, otherwise there will definitely be no baby! I have my fingers crossed for you Kristi! Monica, take the clomid, have some wine, buy something soft and see through, get some whipped cream from a spray can and have a great time! Sorry, that is horrible advice, but what I am trying to say is keep it fun and romantic! If men are given too much information, they spend all their free time trying to process it. Just let Chris think he is the stud muffin he hopes you think he is?!? Did that make sense? Time to get off the computer! Have a great afternoon and evening ladies! I'll check back tomorrow!

 

Shawna - March 16

Have any of you noticed your period is shorter after being on clomid. Mine started on Tuesday and it is pretty much over. It usually lasts 5 days. I am definitely not complaining! I will start the clomid tomorrow, so hopefully things will progress positively from there. This group is so funny. One day everyone posts, sometimes a couple times during the day and then the next day, nobody! It makes me laugh! That is it for me now, I hope everyone is having a great fertile day! Baby dust and diaper pins!*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Kristi - March 17

Hi ladies! Glad to see you are going for the Clomid MO!! I would try to wait to tell hubby after all the bding is done and just make it fun like Shawna suggested...I wouldnt feel like your doing something behind his back...you just are trying to take some pressure off of him, i mean hes with you on the ttc so its not like your going off the pill and trying to get pg w/out his knowledge ya know... when are you supposed to bd? I take the Clomid cd 3-7 then we bd cd 10-20 every other day... Shawna, I think my AF's are a little shorter on Clomid as well, but they have never really been very long anyway so not for sure. I am on the tww, so should start AF next week, so I guess we will just see. David and I are having trouble agreeing on weather or not to go to Jamaica....we both want to go, but on the other hand with trying to get pg again he thinks we should not be spending the money on the trip when there is stuff we want to do on our house and witht here possibly being a baby coming and he may be changing jobs this summer.....yada yada yada.....which all the reasons I think we should go!! We can always do stuff on the house later, none it of it is necessary, just stuff we want to do, and becuase there may be a baby next year and he may have a new job next year, then we should go now while we can!!!! Argghhhh!!!! He wants to go to Memphis....boring!! But I went to Hawaii last summer with a girlfriend for her sisters wedding and he didnt go with me, so I told him he could pick the trip this year....geez.... Jamaica...Memphis....Jamaica.....Memphis.... doesnt seem like it should be much of a choice to me!!! ;-) Oh well, I had better get to working, will check back later!! If I do not get back on before Monday everyone have a great weekend!!

 

Kristi - March 20

Hi there...hows it going with everyone?? I am almost done with the 2ww...AF should arrive by Wednesday, but could really come in day now....so I guess I am still just waiting. How are things for everyone else...?? I just posted on another forum called "where is everyone from" or something like that...looks like MO posted on it last week....it was really interesting to see where poeple are from that are on here and kinda of disturbing to see how many people are having trouble tcc all over the world!!! You should all check it out, no one really talks on it, just posts where they are from....Well have a great week all!!

 

Shawna - March 20

Kristi, I hope af doesn't show up. How have you been feeling? Anything different? I have 2 days of clomid left. I had my first hot flash last night, which I see as promising because I never had them with the first round of clomid. How are you doing Elena? Monica, when do you take the clomid? What dose are you taking? Have a great day girls!

 

Kristi - March 21

Shawna, no signs of pg or AF....howver my temp dropped below 98 this morn, which is usally means I start AF that day but so far nothing and my temps have been screwy anyway. I have not spotted at all which I ALWAYS do 2-4 days before AF, so if AF comes this will be the first time in probably a year or two that I have not spotted first, which is good. Will you get you informed, if I stay of track, tomorrow should be the day AF shows....Good luck with the Clomid this month!! Stay cool ;-)

 

Elena - March 22

Hi, Shawna I'm so sorry AF showed up. We will keep our fingers cross that the clomid you take will work for you. Kristi keeping my fingers cross for you.** baby dust to you and shawna**. Well I went to doctors on monday and we just discussed blood work results and my last ultrasound everthing looks good. I even got to hear the heart beat it was great. I go back in 4 weeks and I will find out if I'm having a boy or girl.. I got a name for a girl but not a boy yet. If it's a girl we will name her Victoria no middle name yet Smith .We will see, going crazy.. can't wait. I already picked out the type of nursery's I want for either sex. Its all by Wendy Bellissimo she is awesome designer for baby nursery's. Thats all so far with me. So what happen to Kelly?? Hi mommymcblue welcome aboard!! Hi Mo good to have you back!! Well ladies we will chat later. Kristi lets pray NO AF TOMORROW***TOODLES AND BABY DUST***

 

Shawna - March 22

Well Kristi, I hope the witch stayed away. I hate this wating game! Elena, I'm so happy for you. You and your family must be over the moon! Feel free to bounce some names off us if you want. I like the name Victoria. We were thinking of it when we were pg with Alexander, but my cousins girlfriend had her baby first and named her Victoria, and Alexander turned out to be a boy so Victoria was no longer appropriate. Have you decided to get an epidural? I have mixed feelings about them. I never had one with Alexander, it was completely natural. However, before I put myself out there as super mom I will admit the choice was not mine. When I asked for one the paged the guy to do it and he said he was with someone else, but would be there next. They paged him a second time and he never called back and never did show up. Thank goodness my labour was only 4 hours 5 minutes from start (first contraction I felt) to finish. If we have another child, I'll probably go natural again. Alexander was so alert and he nursed right away, which they want newborns to do. He was very content. He slept for the next 6 hours which allowed me to sleep for 6 hours. But it is a personal choice. Have you decided to take any prenatal classes? Taylor hated them, but I found them helpful. Also, our hospital offers tours to all expecting moms and dads, that too was very helpful. If you have other questions, please ask! Well it is official for me.... I hate clomid! I don't know how many times I woke up last night from a hot flash, uncover, falll back to sleep, then wake up again because the hot flash has come and gone and I am freezing! I never had any hot flashes last time. I took my last pill last night, Thank God! So far no weird ovary twitches or pulsations! Monica, how are things? Please remeber we are here for you! I have to go lay down, too sleepy. Thank goodness I didn't get called to teach today! Take care Girls, will check in later!

 

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