~()~() Fertility Journey~()~()
140 Replies
Shawna1 - September 19

All of us visit this site daily because we all have one thing in common, fertility issues. It is very reassuring to know that there are others just like you, going through the same problems, facing the same unknown futures. This thread is called Fertility Journey because we all have one, some may be longer than others, but it is our common thread and I invite you to share yours with us. In case you were unable to decipher my illustrations, but it is a sperm travelling to an egg! Pretty clever, I know! So I' ll greet my "old" friends: Kristi, Mel, Shauna and Elena and welcome everyone new to our thread and encourage you to share your story with us!


Shawna1 - September 19

OOPS, I forgot to put the heads on my little spermies! They should look like this ~o~o~o (). No wonder I'm not pregnant yet, they can't see where they are going!! Just kidding, I know they don't have eyes! Anyway, for those of you who are new, I have been ttc for 17 months for my second child (the first is almost 7). I did 4 cycles of clomid during this time, but decided to stop taking it after realizing I am a crazy psycho when I am taking it! I had an hsg in August and now I am just waiting to ovulate. Have a great day everyone!


Kristi1 - September 19

Hi ladies! Love the new thread...we were needing one! Well, the lap went good I guess....my Dr got called away to deliver a baby just as they were getting ready to give me the first round of sleepy drugs, so had to wait another hour...I think they finally wheeled me in around 215 and I was home by 530. Got some good drugs though! ;-) I am very very sore today, still a little sick to my stomache when I stay upright too long, my lower abdomen is extremely bloated and I cant even imagine putting on a pair of pants other than my loose elastic waist shorts and workout pants I am wearing now! Well, I did not get to talk to my Dr after the procedure as her baby delivery put her behind schedule, and she was to talk to my parents - they went with me so my dh could sleep and be awake when I got home as he works nights - and my parents had stepped out to get something to drink, so no one got to talk to her. I have a call into her office, so am hoping to hear from her soon. But the nurse read off what the Dr had written down and she removed the polyps - yes she said plural, i thought there was only the one, anyway, i did have some endometriosis and some adhesions, but not sure what that means. I wonder if the endo and the adhensions were the same thing as she first said adhesions, then I asked about the endo, so I am not sure if she was talking about two different things or not. But they got me all cleaned out. I have 3 incisions, one directly into my belly button, and two more around my bikini area, I knew there would be two, so dont know why they had to do a third one. The one around bikini area is where they insert an instrument they use to move all the "stuff" around so they can look at everything. Anyway, that is all I know, I will let you guys know what the Dr says when I talk to her and get more details. Hope everyone is doing great, but I need to go lay down again! ;-)


stepmommel - September 19

Hey there! Cute little spermies Shawna! Thanks for starting the new thread. Kristi, I had no idea that the lap was as intense as it sounds. I hope you're feeling okay. Sounds like it wasn't much fun - especially the belly button part. UGH. Well, it turns out I didn't O after all. Not sure why AF was showing I did, but the good news is today is also CD1, so I'll be on my increased dosage of clomid in another couple of days. It worked the first round, let's hope it works the third!


Shawna1 - September 19

Ouch Kristi, that sounds really painful and invasive. A girl I know was trying forever to have a baby and had a lap done, found out she had endo and they cleared it all out. She went on to have 2 healthy babies one after the other. So hopefully this is what your body required to conceive! I'll keep my fingers crossed! I am also hoping to receive some more pictures through email from my cousins wedding this past weekend, if I find a good one of me I'll send it out to all of you. Take care everyone! I have to finish planning Alexander's 7th birthday party. His bday is Sept 26!


Shawna1 - September 20

Pretty quiet so far today. How are you feeling Kristi? I came across this neat website: www.zazzle.com/herveryown
My favourite saying is "I'm not angry because I'm infertile, I'm angry because you're an idiot!" How true is that. People say some prettty stupid things. Friends of ours have a 2 year old son and decided to start trying for another. They stopped bcp in May and are now very concerned because they haven't conceived yet. They asked who my specialist is because they are thinking of getting a referral?!? I told them no specialist will see you until you have been trying more than a couple of months. My God, we've been trying for 17months and they think they are in the same situation as us. How is everyone else doing?


lovemy3 - September 20

Hi there, was reading this post, thinking of joining in with my journey. I am 37 and ttc#4, I guess I would fit into the category with your friend who has been trying since May. (have been trying 6 months) I too have gotten BFN's and it is upsetting to me as well. I think when you are trying, negatives are disappointing no matter how long you have been trying. I understand that you have been trying for much longer, but it is disappointing regardless, we are all women and all on our own journies that can be very disappointing. Pls try and remember that, everyone has their story, there is no qualifiing length of time. Good luck to you.


ginger6363 - September 20

Hello ladies. Like all of you, I have had more than my fair share of reproductive issues and I am only 27 (dh is 30; married 6 years). I have endometriosis (had a lap to remove it in 2002) and I was born with a genetic anomaly (I had a septated uterus and vagina---basically two uterine cavities inside one uterus and 2 internal vaginal canals with 2 cervices) so I had surgery to "correct" that about a year ago. I had a horribly traumatic surgical experience---they told me my kidneys were failing but they did the kidney tests wrong and it turns out my kidneys were fine----a bleeding incident, a 2nd emergency surgery to stop the internal bleeding, and a collapsed lung. In the end, a two hour day surgery turned into a week in hospital, and two weeks of bed rest. Worst part is, the surgery fixed the uterus but the vagina part was botched and I still have a "partial" wall of scar tissue from the surgery. To look on the bright side, IF I get pregnant, my "fixed" uterus should be able to carry the fetus to term and I could always have a C-section---so I guess the surgery was a success in that regard.

Even though I had not ttc before (I’ve been on BCP for 13+ years b/c of irregular cycles) I opted for the surgery to correct my anatomical issues before we started ttc. I didn’t want to risk m/c. After my surgery, it became clear that my partial wall made sex was almost unbearable. The pain and bleeding was too much. For the past 9 months, I had to see reconstructive specialists and wear vaginal dilators to try to "push" the wall back, and with this treatment sex is gotten a little easier (but still unpleasant) I was even considering a 2nd surgery to fix it. After seeing doc after doc, I saw a doc that recommended that I just ttc. He thought that a 2nd surgery would be too risky. He felt that it might cause scar tissue to grow back worse. His rec was to conceive and during a vaginal birth the scar tissue would “more than likely” be torn out of the vagina (nice imagery, right?). I have only been off BCP for a little over 3 months, and as you can imagine sex is quite precarious, but we are trying. :) As I mentioned this is really the first time I have ever tried ttc (I was always dealing with just trying to get well), so it's all pretty new to me. This is my first month charting and temping, so we’ll see. I got a new RE/ob/gyn because, as you can imagine with my traumatic surgical experience with my last RE, I wanted a fresh start. I saw him yesterday and had an U/S, he said my uterus was looking really good, no more septation. He did recommend that I not be off BCP for more than six months b/c of my history of endo. As I mentioned, I've been off for almost 4 months now. Thus, he recommended that my husband and I seriously consider IUI. It seems like an option, but I am a bit nervous about it.


wendi77 - September 20

My husband and I have been trying for 6 years and we are on our 3rd doctor. We've tried Clomid and 2 attempts at AI. Our new doctor is great! She was the only one that brought up about having a laporoscopy, so I had one last Wednesday. They found endo and scar tissue and took care of it. I got sick on the anesthesia and was in recovery for over 5 hours. Thursday, I was fine - a little discomfort, but all in all I feel good. I go back on Monday to discuss what we do next. As you all well know, It has been an emotional and frustrating journey to have a baby. It is amazing how we spend those years - trying NOT to get pregnant - and then when we desperately want a child, it doesn't happen. I am lucky to have a cousin who is going through the same thing and has been a great support! Shawna, you are so right when you say "I am not angry because I am infertile, I am angry because you are an idiot." My brother and sis-in-law just had their second and had problems conceiving with both children. When they got pregnant the second time, my brother made sure I knew within several hours of her taking the test and of course it is always all about them. They should be fortunate to have 2, I have 0! Good luck to everyone out there. It is important for us to have support and to know there are others out there and we aren't alone.


Shawna1 - September 20

Wow, hello everyone! I am really excited to see some new names and hear your stories. Lovemy3, I apologize if what I said about my friend came off as being harsh, I guess I didn't include all the information. Since my dh and I started ttc, I would discuss certain things with her (girl talk) and she was always saying things like it will happen when you're ready, or you're trying too hard, just relax. I found it really frustrating trying to make her understand that there is so much more to it than that. She was aware that I was not ovulating and that I had a cyst, but figured if I just relaxed about it I would start ovulating again and my cycles would become normal. I agree that we all have a personal fertility journey to travel on and getting bfns is always devastating, I didn't mean to say that because we were trying longer that my struggles are more important, but I want to say to her, just relax, it will happen! My specialist won't see anyone unless they have been trying for at least 6 months. Especially since she was on bcp, it takes a few months to regulate your cycles. Thats' all. I love her dearly and wish her the best of luck, but secretly I will be upset if they conceive before we do. Anyway, Ginger6363, I'm really sorry you've had to go through so much. I pray that everything will work out for you. Right now I think you are one of the bravest women I know. It will make everything you've gone through worth it, when you get to hold your little bundle! If you are looking for support, you've come to the right thread (I'm sure they are all good, though). These girls have helped me through a lot and I hope I have been able to offer something as well. Wendi77, I totally agree with you regarding bcp. My son was not planned and as soon as he was born I started popping those pills. Sure enough, once I stopped it took 8 months to get a period. From April 2005 to Feb 2006, I only had 3 periods. So needless to say, I hate those little things! I don't know anything about AI, but hopefully you will get some good news regarding your lap. Kristi, just had one on Monday, so the 2 of you have something in common. Well, I think that is enough for now. I was very excited to see new names here and I hope you continue to join in. Take care! PS I am not going to proof read this because I have taken up enough time already, so if there are any errors, I apologize. I am educated, just lazy!! Just kidding!


stepmommel - September 20

WOW! Three new people in one day! That's exciting! Your cute little pictures must've been popular Shawna! Welcome Wendi, Ginger and Lovemy3. Wendi, I hope the lap works for you after all this time of trying. I hear sometimes it does the trick right away! Ginger, that's quite an ordeal you went through! You sound quite brave if you were willing to go through a second surgery after all that. Amazing what we'll do to have a child, isn't it? I hope it works for you in the next month or so so you won't have to go back on the pill. Lovemy3, it's true that no matter how long you've been trying, a BFN is a BFN and it's always upsetting. I don't think Shawna at all intended to say that her friend's 3 mos of BFNs were any less disappointing than those that we get month after month (sorry to speak for you Shawna). Sometimes people can be so insensitive to what we've been going through and can say stupid things, and that was a perfect example of how something that meant no harm can actually cause a lot of pain. Somehow when people who have just started TTC get frustrated and want to call it infertility (while for months/years we've been trying anything and everything possible to have a child) say something to us about being in the same shoes, it can be infuriating. Somehow, whether right or wrong, it takes our experiences and invalidates them. I can't explain why it is that it feels this way, but it's unfortunately true. ... anyway, I just thought I'd give my two cents worth. ANYWHOOOOO, I'm glad to see that there's more of us here now and I hope everyone enjoys this thread as much as the rest of us have. It's a great place and these women are the best! Hi Kristi, Shauna (where are you girl, are you okay???), Elena and Shawna!!


Shauna - September 20

Hi all. NOPE NOT HIBERNATING!!! YEAH.....NEWBIES!!!!! Welcome the the new people. I would like to make this short as possible sooooo....Everything Shawna said to Ginger and Wendi, totally agree!!! I have been TTC for 66 months. Married 4 years and have a 8 1/2 year old son. These ladies have been my rock and my soft place to fall for the past 6 months....Dont know what I would do with out them. Oh and my email address is [email protected] so email me all you funny stuff...I love junk mail!!!! Hee hee. So lots of baby dust!!!


mrshorse - September 20

Hi everyone! I am new to the site, but I really wanted someone to talk to about ttc. I have been trying for over 6 years now. Wow it seems so unreal to say that, I always said I'd give up at 5. I just can't seem to give the dream up yet. We have tried everything except IVF which we are planning now. It's hard for us because my husband is in the Air Force and have lived in North Dakota for the last two years. There aren't exactly a lot of options up here. So, we're planning to do it in DC at Walter Reed, but are still testing for it. The testing seems silly to me at this point, but I suppose it's worth it. So far they have been unable to find any problems with either of us, but that surprises who. I am just really sad. I watch everyone around us, and it seems like they snap their fingers and nine monthes later have a baby. This summer was really hard on both of us, because our neice whom got married 2 years ago had her first baby. Aren't grand babies suppose to come before greatgrand babies? It feels good to know that there are other women out there feeling some of the same things. I hope that we can become friends and I wish you all the best of luck!


mrshorse - September 20

Wendy, I am sorry about the pain you have felt. My sister has 5 kids, I understand. After #4 her husband had a vasectomy, but they decided they wanted another. So he had it revesed. I was in town visiting and was running errands with my sister. We went to the base hospital and guess what. I was with her when she found out about #5. We had been ttc for about 3 years at that point. That was probably one of the hardest moments of my life. I was so happy for her, but my tears that day were not tears of joy. It completely crushed me. My neice is beautiful and I love her dearly, but sometimes I think of that moment with such anger. I feel so sad that that should have been me and my sister should have been celebrating with me. Instead I was celebrating with her on one of the hardest days. I'm sorry if I rambled about this, but I've never really talked about it. I always feel guilty. Like if I was so sad at that moment will anyone believe that I love that beautiful little girl. By the way, they named her after me.


Tink - September 20

here's another newbie! i'm michelle and have posted on a few other threads. we've been ttc for about a year and a half. the first year was with treatment from my ob/gyn- did bbt charting, then 4 months on clomid (50mg), did the die test etc. Finally got tired of her and realized she wasn't an expert and saw an RE a friend was seeing (and she is pregnant now!). just did my second IUI with him. it's a great doc, very well known in dallas. did 100mg of clomid and trigger shot in month 1. had 7 follies all appropriate size. 4 ovulated according to the day after u/s. my lining was thin and had to take estrace and it thickened up. month 2 went the same- 7 follies, 4 eggs ovulated. i am 6 days away from being able to test. Dh has good sperm, although slightly below average shape. they discovered i have a narrow cervix, the nurse almost gave up trying to do the IUI- she couldn't find the hole/entrance to my cervix. she said it was the tiniest she has seen. so maybe that is the problem- the poor swimmers can't get in there or find it. if this month doesn't work, i will consider doing a lap to check for endo. i have irregular periods (18 day cycle on month, 30 day cycle the next etc.) and only have 3 day periods max with light bleeding. i have terrible PMS/cramping too. i've been off BC for 5 years. no BC methods in all that time and no 'accidents'. so that's how we figured something was wrong. DH's counts are good- so we think it is me.

anyone have experiences with the lap to share? how soon after can you ttc again?


Kristi1 - September 20

WOW!!! All the newbies, how great is that!!! Welcome everyone, I read all your posts and would just end up saying all the same things everyone else said, so I am not going to repeat them...just want you all to know that this is a wonderful website and an awesome thread and we are here to help and be supportive as well as be helped and supported! Dont ever feel guilty about feelings you think maybe "wrong" or whatever, they are all natural and we have all had the feelings about other people getting pg when we are not, no dont feel bad! Well, Wendi, I just had a lap this last Monday, and I hope it worked for us both! I finally talked to my Dr this afternoon and she said they removed 2 polyps from my uterus, endometriosis from somwhere ;-), and one of my tubes had an adhesion that was causing it to kinda wrap around the ovary, so she sniped that and freed the tube! I also have two small fibroids on the outside of my uterus that they just left alone since they were small and not protruding into the uterus. So that is what I know. I am to try for another couple months on the Clomid and then she said she may put me on Lupron to stop the endometriosis from growing back and shrink the fibroids and that would be for about 3-6 months and then we would start the whole Clomid process over again....so I am praying for good things these next couple months becuase that would put us into another whole year of tcc!!! Anyway, that is what I know for now....hope you are all doing great and hope all of you new people stay with us!


stepmommel - September 21

Since I have to head to work, I won't have time to greet everyone as I'd like too, but I thought I'd at least welcome the newest of the newcomers! This is a great month of meeting new people, huh girls? WOW, must be something in the air... I hope you all enjoy coming here to talk. It's truly a great place, and I do consider these women dear friends, as they are here for us in the best and the worst of times, as true friends should be. So... welcome Tink and Mrshorse and HELLO everyone else... Happy Thursday, and BABYDUST....



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