Husband not wanting children but I do
20 Replies
Ashley - December 14

Hi. This is the first time I have ever done anythinglike this but I am feeling awfully alone. I am not even sure if this is the right place to ask. At the young and not so smart age of 14 I got pregnant. My darling baby girl Sarah was born at 26 weeks and weighing in at 1.14. Then at 15 Little Emma was born full term and pink! Here is my problem. My husband, who is not there father but is there daddy and the only dad they know, dones not want more children, but I do. Being so young I was never aloud to enjoy my pregnancy or my infants. I was told to say in the house where no one would see me and when the girls where born I was pulled from school to raise them. I want to feel that glow again and not feel bad for loving it. IS that wrong of me? Before we got married we both agreed on no more children. But then we found out I was pregnant. We were thrilled! But within 6weeks I lost the baby. We both relized at the time we did want just one more child. NOw he has changed his mind. Did or is anyone going through this ?


hopeful - January 1

I don't know what that person is saying, but you should really talk to your husband and show him your perspective. And if that doesn't work, now don't take this as dishonesty, but you can try to get pregnant without him knowing. I'm kinda doing the same. My husband wants to wait till May to start trying, but I want to be pregnant right now, so here is my advice. Check your cervical Mucus. dry is usually after your period, and not fertile. that will usually last 3-5 days or so, then it gets gooey, that will last a few days, then it gets the consistency of eggwhites. those 4 days are when you want to have unprotected sex. Also check your cervix in the morning or so. Stick your middle finger inside you after your period and see how low that wall is. When its low like that, its very hard for sperm to get up there, when it starts to move up higher towards the middle of your cycle, youre more firtile. You can also use the rythym method. if your period is usually every 28 days, then between 11-15 days from the day you started your period is when you should have sex. Now if you do all of these in conjunction with eachother, its easier to see when youre most fertile. Let me know how it works out.


Ashley - January 4

Thanks Hopeful! I really was starting to think I was the only one who was going through this! I have been trying to get pregnant now for 6 months but my husband has always used the pull out method. (Even when we used condoms) Its just so frustrating!!! I just talked to him about it again bevause he told me last year maybe this year but he said no and acts like I am crazy for even talking about it. He keeps asking my why I want to have a child. I have no answer. It is something inside me. I guess it lis like my clock! I am really starting to lose hope


roxyttandme - January 13

I have a friend who has been trying to trick her dh to knock her up. Sorry if the following is TMI... But, her HB likes the back end more then the front end (if you get my drift) and she lays on her stomach and he thinks that he is in the right whole and ejactulates. I know this is a rotten thing to do. I advised her to stop... But, deserpate times call for desperate measures, I guess... She even plans her cycle around this... She cracks me up! Anyways, just throwing that out there...


Ashley - January 13

Thanks for writing. I am trying to talk hime into just giving me(us) a few months at trying. I hate to trick him into it. But I don't know what else to do. I thought about putting a pin hole in the rain coat but he stopped wearing them when we got married.He just pulls out now. I know there is still a chance with that but I dout it. We have been doing that now for 6 months. any ideas on how to talk him into it


wanting - February 2

I have been married for a long time and both of us always wanted a child. For so long the doctor had told him that have low sperm count. I am 35yrs old and you now woman reproductive system works.
He is not trying to do anything. What should I do? Dispret!!!!!!


JessicaG. - February 17

miZz uTahZ -what are you talking about, I could hardley read that but anyway Ashley you need to sit down and tell him what you feel, let him know that you really want it and see if you can figure out why????? he wants it like that does he have personal reasons or what? No matter what he is your DH and should be there and support any desition that you have.


Ashley - February 19

thanks JessicaG. I have had many talks with him but it seems It always ends the same way.I tell him my point of veiw and he just shots me down then gives me werid looks for a few days. the last talk though made me feel a little better. He did kinda agree to give me 3 months to try. ( June, July, Aug) That is if he does not back out.


Ashley - March 9

Don't know if anyone is really reading this anymore. But if are here is a sad update. D/H said no again. Said the only reason he even said he wantedmore kids was so we would get married. and now that we are married I could not leave(due to our religions). SO I now am living with my mother. As I tell my friends. It is one thing to just not want children but toget married so I will not leave because of the issue!


K - March 10

Ashley, what religion are you? Try outsmarting your smart*ss husband. In some religions you only have sex to reproduce. Is your relgion like this? His lie was part of the decision to marry him. Does he realize how his deception is hurting you? If you lied about something major how would he feel. Good luck working it out and hopefully your DH will come to his senses.


ASHLEY - March 11

He is southern baptist. I was raised Methodist. Before we got married we talked about kids and I said yes I wanted more and if he does not want more I don't think we could get married.So I guess he said he did just so I would still marry him. I am confuse. Do I give up the man I love or give up my hope and dream of being having another child. My D/H is alland all a good loving manbut how can i stay with him if he is acting like a jerk!!


Ashley - March 11

Oh yah. He does know it was part(not all) of why I married him.We have had talks like what if I lies about something and he said he would be beyond mad. I guess he does notlook atit like a 2way street


K - March 12

You are definately in a difficult situation. I would weigh my options. But first I would tell him how I am feeling about his lie. If you are still young, you have time. He could change his mind but feels he is too young now. You are going to have to do what is best for you and your children. Goodluck.


Ashley - March 13

Thanks K. I know we are still young(23&25). I guess i also did not want my kids to be so far apart that they never got close.(my 5 brothers are 20,18,9&6 years older than me) He went online and went to my favs. ( and my diary) and went to this site. He was really upset. Said he might change his mind. He just wants make sure have a big bank account first. the time is right. Well I am sorry but there is never going to be the perfect time. + how do I know he is not lieing


Ashley - March 13

Also,I only "O" every 3months or so.So to wait 5+years to even try who knows how long it will take


Ashley - March 22

Just wanted to say I think I justmight be preggos. I am now 3 days late and 4days ago i had slight dark brown spotting only when I wiped w/ sticky CM sorry if tmi! took PT but came out -. Some websites say might be too soon.Crossing my fingers!!!


SerineMali - April 16

Hey Ashley,
I'm sorry you are going through a difficult time like that. I know husband problems are the hardest ones because they need to be part of the process. Just remember you have two children already and you've been truly blessed. I know everyone says to talk to your DH and they're saying the right thing, but something DH's don't listen! You need to get to the core of the problem and ask why he would lie to you and trick you into marrying him if he truly loves you. Another girl mentioned about how deception is what really hurts. I can't imagine you suffering through this. If you're young enough just realize you can children again maybe he's not the right person. I don't like divorce myself but do you really want to trap yourself in a marriage that evolves around a lie? I just want to help you, because having a baby is a beautiful thing, do you want to be alone in the journey or with someone who's going to love you and share it with you?



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