partners kids
2 Replies
Donna - April 19

I am 33 w with my 4 child (not including 2 that I have miscarried) they are 7, 4, and 3. I went into premature labor 2 weeks ago and was put on modified bed rest. My midwife told me to take it easy and not to push myself. I am also a full time college student. I use all my enegry to go to school. I live with my boyfriend who has a 10yr old and 12 yr old. (I know 6 kids, we will be the brady bunch) I can get my younger kids to help with the household chores but there is only so much that they can do with out making a bigger mess to clean up. I can not even get the older ones to take their dishes to the sink and it is a battle for the trash to get taken out. I have tried explaining to them that I can not do it now. And what could happen if I push myself too hard. They must help out. i have tried giving extra game time, even punishing them if they do not do it. But they do not seem to care. They yell at me with attitudes, talk down to the younger kids, try and tear up the stuff that belongs to the baby and the other kids. I do not know if I can take anymore of this treatment. They are having a harder time with the new baby coming than the younger kids are. They will not act like this infront of their dad, so when I tell him how they act when he is not there. he makes me feel like i am blowing it up and it is just my hormones. If dad does say anything to them, the next day is worse until he gets home. Sometimes I wonder if they are trying to hurt me. If they get mad, they will do little things like dumping a bottle of shampoo in the bottom of the bath tub just before I get in the shower, then try to blame the younger kids for it (they younger ones can not reach the shampoo). i need some advice


honeyHBD - June 10

you need to have a heart to heart talk with your husband/the whole family. gather them around in a dinner and open up the issue. tell them what you feel and that they need to work hand in hand with you. i know it sounds simple but it's effective. if it still doesn't work, then seek professional help or counselling. good luck!


natalika2017 - November 30

Hello! I read your message, and it really interested me. I have little experience as a psychologist. It really interests me. This is a very big problem for such families. Very often such families do not survive the asphalting and part. I think that everything will be fine with you.
Avoid immediately making many changes in the lives of children. You can do this gradually. It is necessary to spend some time alone with each of the children separately. When talking with children, encourage them to be as frank as possible. Feel free to express your feelings and empathize with them. Share your problems with children. Let them know about your emotional unrest.
Discuss common problems during family gatherings. Give children the right to vote and always listen to them. Children often come up with very good solutions. They can tell you how, for example, to correctly allocate the time of visiting the bathroom or how to solve other issues of time sharing.
Avoid manifestations of anger or discontent in the presence of children.
Strive to be consistent in establishing common family rules. Distribute household duties - use of common things, cleaning, etc. This will help children quickly get used to a new family. Establish new family traditions and support them. For example, a joint evening tea or Sunday walks. Find positive traits and benefits in the specifics of your family. Create traditions around this property.
Do not rush events. If conflicts continue, then consult a psychologist for advice. This is a very difficult path. Be patient and wise. I wish you all the best.



New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?