Why does this happen to some people?
10 Replies
shellster - August 7

I just really don't get life sometimes. My husband and I have been TTC for almost 2 years now with no luck. We actually had a miscarriage about a year ago. During that same time, a very close family member (who by the way is 17) was pregnant and of course had a healthy baby. Now she is pregnant with her SECOND child! For some unknown reason, her parents seem to do nothing about it. They just let her do whatever she wants and everything's just fine. She doesn't have a job, she's a HS dropout and just lives at home and is a leach. Her family can barely make ends meet and she manages to get knocked up AGAIN! It's unbelievable that I have to sit here and live through this. I wish that I had never met this idiot of a human being, and I cannot believe that my family has to be involved in this. (She's a step-daughter to a close relative). Of course it makes it worse that the hubby and I are having problems TTC. I just don't understand why God is playing such a cruel joke on me. Oh and of course every friend I've ever had in my entire life has been pregnant in the last 2 years, with healthy babies now. Does anyone else feel this way? Has anyone out there ever gone through a similar situation? I just want to move far away and never communicate with anyone again. I hate feeling this way.


xana - August 7

i no what you are saying!! me and hubby have been ttc for 18months now and i feel the same everybody in pg or getting pg or having babies! people who are not trying and make it really obvious and dont even think that other people have been trying 4 ages!!!! and then they always say it will happen when it is the right time SO PATRANISING!!! i no where ur coming from. xx


Tracy88 - August 7

Here's one for you. I was an elementary school teacher until October '05. Since I quit while school was still in session, I decided to leave my classroom intact and come back at the end of the year to clean it out. School ended in June, so I went to my old classroom and it was locked. I went to the office and asked where everybody was (I could find no teachers), and they said everybody's in the library for a baby shower. I ran into two old friends of mine and they made me come with them to the library. Lo and behold there was indeed a baby shower happening, not for one teacher, but for four!!!! Three of whom got married after I did and who apparently got PG just as I was leaving. Talk about hard! I had to sit for two hours with a smile on my face while I felt tears welling up inside of me. I felt left out, humiliated, hopeless, helpless, and very sorry for myself. I was also angry and just wanted to run away....move somewhere else...start over. I even thought of leaving my beautiful husband so he could move on and have kids. I know how hard it is and hope for peace to come to each of us.


mmelo - August 8

Heres a story for you. About 3 years ago I was at a local mall and needed to go to the bathroom. When I exited the stall there were 2 teenage girls looking at what was a pregnancy test. They were debating as to whether it was positive or not so they asked me to take a look at it. Yup, it was positive alright. I thought, things like this only happen to me. I almost gave her my business card and wanted to tell her when the novelty wore off to give me a call, but all I did was walk away.


marymo - August 9

I totally know what your saying. ttc for 2 years, I can count 7 people I know personally who have been pg and have had their babies already. It is always the ones who are not trying. I know its hard, but theres alot of people here for support who knows exactly what you are going through.


Tracy88 - August 9

Mmelo, that story you gave was not funny per se, but it made me laugh. That is a bad situation to have been caught in!!!


waiting-4-my-angle - August 10

I know how you feel. The place I work has alot of young girls that don't need no child but guess what it took them no time to get preg. It just makes me so mad. I have a friend that is 21 with 3 kidss and have had 2 abortions. She slipped up and told me this. I got so pissed that I have not talked to her in like a week. It made me feel like she took my chance on having a baby. I know that sounds stupid but when am I going to get my precious gift? We have been trying it seems like for ever and it seems like it is taking alot out of our relationship. Well I wish you girls all the luck in the world!! ******BABY DUST TO YOU ALL******


shellster - August 10

Thanks everyone for sharing. It helps to know there are people out there in the same situation...even though I don't know any of them personally. I hate feeling like I'm being so selfish, thinking only of myself and not being able to just be happy for others, but I just can't help it. I wish I could. I wish I could be a better person. At least I'm good at pretending I am.


linds99 - August 10

Just think about what an awesome mother you will someday be because you are designing your life to accomodate a healthy upbringing of a child in the future. But nonetheless, there are some things we just can't control entirely, and they are out of our hands. I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage last year. The likelihood of you not being able to get pregnant may be a hormone problem, or sometime of imbalance. You may just need a little tweaking hormonally to give things a jumpstart. Are you seeing an RE right now? How about DH? He's alright? I'm in the same boat as you...but have been trying for a year now. It seems so unfair to go through this heartache, month after month. I saw a teenage girl at the grocery store a few weeks ago, she didn't have enough money to buy two bags of diapers for her new born baby, so she had to put one back. My husband paid for the other pack for her before we left the store. I was so pissed he did that because I was like "she got herself into that situation being young and having a baby without having her stuff together first, why should we finance her diapers?" I also pointed out to him all the money we are spending on fertility treatments, and we are not rich, and nobody out there has ever offered to throw us a bone. My husband just looked at me and said "That young girl is definitely learning her lesson, how hard it must be to have a baby with no money, just like we are learning about how bad we want a baby and how hard that is." I saw some validity to what he said, but I was still pissed. Not that I am a heartless lady or anything, I was just irritated that this girl likely got pregnant on accident. I was probably more envious. So, i guess we all go through these "weird" emotions as a result of not yet conceiving. It is so frustrating.


Ann1 - August 10

shellster, don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. Everyone on the board can relate! I don't know anyone in "real life" that has gone through what my dh and I have been through, either. This board has helped me keep motivation and keep things in perspective (and likely helped keep my sanity:)). There have been lots of times where I just wanted to leave my dh and move to Europe (or anywhere else where I know no one) to escape life!! One of my best friends started ttc after dh and I. She has given birth TWICE now. Also, one of my nieces got pg, married, divorced, and had a baby (in that order) since we have been ttc. I know it is frustrating. Try to hang in there and vent when you need to. This board is great for that. Good luck!


mmelo - August 10

Hi ladies,
Yes, all these stories sound more familiar than we realize. It is true that sometimes we get angry at all the "easy conceptions" out there when we are struggling for years and years for what it takes some a blink to achieve. I too appreciate having these boards to vent. Many a time have I been angry or cried over things that I have seen. Yes, we must continue to have faith, but I agree, it is soooooo difficult sometimes. Maria



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