We're just giving up!
7 Replies
Molly - March 2

Okay, so I had sex on my expected date of ovulation and a few days prior to it and a few times after ovulation.But, today I started my period.I don't have endometriosis because my periods have been crampless for the past 3 to 4 months I just get minor pressure in my abdomen and !!BAM!! my period is there.My husband and I have been trying to conceive since October neither of us are infertile.I just started to take prenatal vitamins in February because I "thought" I was pregnant.We, are timing our intercourse correctly, but I'm getting my period.I just feel like giving up.What are we doing wrong?


Valerie - March 2

Molly, please don't get so frustrated yet!
My husband and I have been trying for years. Nothing worked, it then turned out he had a vain in his testicles that had to be removed. All that trying for years was a waste. Now we are starting again, it's from scratch and like we are just starting but so far no baby. I just had my second IUI who even knows if it worked. I am not giving up. I have a friend who had 2 cervixs (spelling?) and she lost three pregnancies but she is now the proud mother of twins. She found religion to get her through. She even had to have chemo due to one of her pregnancies which didn't totally flush out from the D&C so they had to treat it like it was cancer, she lost all of her hair, she was so ill.
She never gave up. For years and years she tried until she had invitro and now has twins. She also had arough pregnancy and they were born premature at one pound each, but they are now so healthy and happy and they were just a year old in February!

I hope that you now see people have been trying for much longer than you. I don't down play your frustration, but you need to understand that most couples are told to try for a YEAR before they seek help from a infertilty specialist. You are SO in the beginning of this long ride.

I wish you all the baby dust in the world, just save a little for me too.


michelle - March 2

molly don't give up,like valerie said its justbeginning for you, i've been trying for over 3 years now with miscarriages and eptopics. don't stress, its all to do with timing, we only get one egg a month which lives for 12 -24 hours, its just catching it.
they its best to have sex day 12 or 13(sperm lives up to 72 hours),if you ovulate on day 14?? how long is your cycle? have you tried ovulation tests ? they do work! (not for me as i don't ovulate) they are worth a try and also ask your doctor for a blood test on day 14 and 21 to check if you are ovulating.


Mythili - March 2

Molly you should not give up that fast. You have to be strong and just keep trying. My husband and I have tried to get pregnant over 2004 and were unsuccessful now we are seeing a specialist


Estee P - March 3

Molly, I've been through what you're feeling right now, a couple of times. You've been trying 5, 6 months. I've been trying 26 months. It's almost like it build up to a point where you just feel like giving up rather than keep trying. I think it's happened to me about 4 times now, so that would mean your really "low" times are about every 6 months. But DON'T lose faith! You're on your very low point now, but you will see you will grow out of it again, and you'll become hopeful again. Right now you have to really coach yourself. TALK to yourself, ENCOURAGE yourself. On my low times I talk to myself all the way to work as I drive (20 minutes). I reason with myself like I'm two people, and I always end up talking myself into a positive state of mind. J.U.S.T K.E.E.P T.R.Y.I.N.G Don't miss even one month if you can help it. It happens to 90% couples eventually, even if they have to wait a while. But the minute you give up, this thing has beaten you. Don't allow for that to happen. FIGHT this girl!!! Good luck!


kc - March 3

MOLLY how could you say you are thinking of giving up you've only been trying for 5mths, in uk you have to try for a yr before a doc will even entertain helping you. 5 months isn't long don't get down hearted I lost a tube 26mths ago after trying for a yr I've now been trying for 25mnths with no joy in feb this yr I was told that I have PCOS and I was given clomid to try just doing my first month. So don't give up and remember have fun while you pratice and try to relax.


Jen - March 3

Estee, that is wonderful advice. It made me feel better also. You are right that it comes in cycles and I just need to keep reminding myself "this too shall pass". Thank you for putting out there such thoughtful advice.


claire - March 8

I know how you feel, Molly. My dh and I have been trying since October too and so far nothing. It does get you down each time your period arrives and you think 'what can i do differently??!'. We've got to keep positive (although this month I was feeling like you are now) but just think as soon as you get your period it's day 1 of your cycle again another new chance of conceiving. Just keep at what you're doing - a few days before and a few days after - every other day. Keep in touch - I'd love to hear how you're getting on. Good luck!



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