THE VENT CORNER - SICK OF PEOPLE TELLING YOU TO RELAX??
40 Replies
Mrs Vent - August 15

I need to vent badly! We have been trying for a baby for as long as I can remember! And I am sick to death of people saying, don't think about it and it will happen!!! The more you think about it, the more it won't!! I can't take this crap anymore! I have to chart my temps, check my ovulation etc etc due to problems I have had. I sometimes feel I should have kept my gob closed and not told anyone about us trying for a family! It would have been much easier to say "we are leaving it in Gods hands" because they normally shuttup then. I feel like my heart is breaking as I see pregnant woman everywhere!! Not to mention the friends and family members that are and say "I feel so yuk with this pregnancy" & "oh, you know what it's like to be pregnant" when they complain about something...Actually..NO, I DON'T!! So give it up!! I have this thing lately that if i see 2 pregnant ladies, I say God, if I see a 3rd one today let me be pregnant soon... and I normally spot a 3rd..My life is at a point where somethings got to give, I've done what I have wanted to do and now I want begin the journey of a family to love and raise! Sorry to blab on and on... but when is enough really enough??

 

KellyN - August 15

Oh, Mrs Vent! I know exactly where you are coming from. We have been at it for well over a year now! The main reason I come to this web site is to talk to people like you who actually know what it is to be this frustrated! I just hate the "just relax" speaches I seem to get everywhere from co-workers and family members (who already have kids). I try to be nice back, but there is only so many times you can hear "it will happen when you lease expect it". I've had months when I really expected it, and months I have not expected it at all, and neither of them were my month. You are not alone, Mrs Vent! -kelly

 

chicks - August 15

Man Mrs Vent! You took the words right out of my mouth! I too am sick to death of people saying, "relax, you're young (I'm 28, I don't think that's young at all..), it'll happen when it happens, don't think about it and it will happen".. Balls! Right now it doesn't feel like it will ever happen.. I was just recently DX with PCOS and put on Metformin. I have to take OPK's because my DR wants to know when I start to O because I don't O on my own and I've been taking BBT which doesn't make any sense to me because my temps are so screwed up. So, the past year of heartbreak could have been solved if only they had found this out sooner. It's BS if you ask me.. I was out with friends on the weekend and instead of having a good time, all I could think about was the pregnant woman that was there and I found myself staring at her contstantly and playing with her two year old daughter. It just makes me even more sad than what I was! I just don't understand.. I, like you, have done everything properly in life and now that we want to share our love with another little human being and it's just not happening but some girl that doesn't even want a baby nor can they afford it, gets pregnant simply by opening their legs. Don't worry girl, I'm sure that you'll get a lot of responses here because a lot of us feel the same way! Good luck to you and lots baby dust your way..

 

Jamie - August 15

You guys all said what I feel. I too came to this website to find people like you who truly understand the pain and heartache that we go through month after month. The people who say don't worry about it and relax are the people who didn't/don't have problems conceiving. They don't realize the work we have to go through month after month - meds, charting, tests, bloodwork, procedures, etc. We cannot stop worrying and forget about it - or we will never get pregnant!! If one of those people actually went through what we do, I don't think they would be so eager to give advice. Thank you ladies for making me not feel alone in this journey - we need to stick together!! The struggles we have gone through will only make the end product that much sweeter - and we will appreciate the whole experience even more! Good luck and * baby dust * to all!!!!

 

Lisa - August 15

Mrs Vent I know just how you feel dh and I have been trying for 5 years. I was just wondering if your and your dh have had any testing done to see if there is a problem with any of you I after 5 years finally went to see a RE and found out that my dh has a problem and we will not get pregnant without IVF so that is our next step.

 

Jen - August 15

Hey Ladies- I just have to say amen!! We've been trying for a little over two years with no luck yet and it has been hell!!! I hate how everyone who has kids tell you that you worry too much and that you should enjoy being able to get a good night sleep. I would gladly give up sleep to finally have that little bundle of joy. My husband and I have had all the tests and they can't find anything wrong with either of us. We've tried iuis and clomid and follistum, so now we're looking ahead to doing ivf. Although we still pray that it will just happen on its own. Hang in there everyone!

 

Hannah - August 16

I've been trying for ever as well. I cant stand seeing pregnant women it drives me nut, two of my cousins are pregnant and my husbands sister just had a baby. I just keep thinking I wish that was me. My husband says he not sure that he want to try any more because I'm obsessed with wanting a child. Oh and I had three miscarriages. I wish he could understand my heartache. I pray that god will answer us all soon.

 

cranky lady - August 16

you know whats worse, people that are cheating on their partners, or on drugs or welfare always seem to be pregnant! and it also seems that everytime im most down my pregnant best friend sends me a pic of her belly, wats with that! how cruel!

 

Sue - August 16

I'm hearing everyone! The line I really hate is "the best things come to those who wait" How damn long do we all have to wait. It sux! Without sounding really rude I see alot of ferals through my line of work and one lady the other day got to me so bad I ran into the staff room crying. She was 6 months pregnant and while she was sitting there talking to me she started swearing at her tummy and then started punching it calling the baby a f.ing little shit. How on earth can you accept the fact that people like that end up with children everywhere and the people like us who would love a baby and who can provide for a child just can't get there. It stinks.

 

Mari - August 16

HI girls, what I really hate are people who tell me, When are you going to begin a family? You are not getting any younger. It's time you begin a family.. Ahhhh Well if they only knew i've been trying for 4 years. I have had 3 iui's, used repronex and follistim. I have charted etc. We both (dh and I )have gone for tests and they can't find anything. I do have endo but after 6 months of awful treatments it cleared up and the re believes it is not the cause. Well then what is, i am going crazy i don't understand why i can't get pg. I hate seeing my dh so sad as well. Thank god for this web site it's the only place i feel comfortable expressing my feelings.

 

Sheila - August 16

I totally understand. I went through the same thing and went through a bad miscarriage. I cried everyday for over a year. Still makes me sad to think about it. Tried to get pregnant for a few years. But then someone recommended this machine and it finally happened. I know this is the venting section, but I want to help. I highly recommend the ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor great for women with cycles 42 days or less. After using it for a couple months, I got pregnant.....and yes, doctor did say to relax and forget about it. What I did was a combination of both. I just did the tests in the morning and let the monitor do the thinking. I dove into my work and other projects and kept busy and tried to have fun. Again, I know this is the venting section....but I really know how it feels. In the last year I was trying, I would just break down and cry. I couldn't even stand to be around children. It was so heartbreaking for me. I just wanted to post this information because the monitor really help me.....no guess work, it's 99% accurate. Using the sticks alone is just too much guess work. Yes, it's pricey, but spend the money, it's well worth it! Good Luck!

 

To Shelia - August 16

Do you work for the company that makes Clear Blue Easy, or something? Because most of us have already tried all of this stuff but still no success. That's why we are venting.

 

Sheila - August 16

No, I do not work for the company. I just wanted to recommend the monitor because it has worked for me. And actually, has worked for a couple people I told. I know I sound like a commercial, but if you have not tried using the monitor, it's well worth a try. The sticks alone are absolutely useless! I wasted my time using them and in the end, it cost as much as the monitor. I saw this section by accident. I am trying to research for my friend and looking for some other monitor that would suit her and her irregular cycles that come every 3 months. The monitor I suggested was only good for people with cycles of 42 days or less. It even says on the box, that if nothing happens within 6 consecutive cycles, to then contact your physician. Hopefully, this information will help some of you.

 

Susan - August 16

I totally relate to everything you're saying. we've been trying for a year and are just starting fertility testing. I can't stand seeing pregnant women and live in fear of hearing that friends or relatives are pregnant. I especially relate to Mrs. Vent's comment that she wishes she had never told anyone that she was trying in the first place. i can't stand everyone knowing that I've been trying for so long. People have now stopped asking me about it which somehow makes it even worse. Now i know they've given up on any chance for me. I wish I could just feel like a normal person again instead of the pathetic woman who can't get pregnant :(

 

Mari - August 16

Hey Susan, I know what you mean, We told our mother in law and some of my dh family so they (especially my mother in law) could get of my back but it has made it worse. And to put salt on my injury my sister in law just gave birth and i had to organize the baby shower two weeeks ago, it was horrible all i wanted to do was cry and hide under a rock. I was told to relax and that that is the reason i can't get pg according to what they heard in the news!! Could any one believe the nerve. Oh well as you can tell i am upset and starting to lose hope. And Susan I don't think your pathetic none of us are, we are just a bit depressed (some more than others) and anxious hopefully we will have good news soon. Baby dust to all!!!

 

Anna - August 16

Mind if I vent, too? I just went in for the my blood test to check if I'm PG and the person drawing me must have thought I was nervous about the test results and didn't want to be PG. Actually, I was nervous about being stuck-I don't care for needles very much. And she said " you know you do have other options but you have to make that decision". I was mortified! All I wanted to do was tell her about all the women on these forums who are trying so hard so get PG and can't! And she has the nerve to suggest getting rid of my child! I quickly answered her that this is a good thing for me and I hope to be PG! It just makes me sad to think of those who carelessly throw away a human life like it were nothing important! I'm not bashing anyone who has made that decision, but just look at everyone here and you may think differently about it. Thanks, for letting me get that off my chest.

 

kc - August 17

Exactly how I feel. The worst is seeing pregnant women or young girls smoking. How they can knowingly put their unborn baby in danger I have no clue. Just plain selfish. Sorry if I offended any smokers.

 

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