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Oh, by the way Rachel, a good friend of my dh also met his girlfriend on eharmony. I think they will end up getting married. I met my dh through an in-person dating service. They can and do work! |
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First to Dana - I think of you all the time and keep wishing I had something to do or say that would help you. For whatever it's worth my heart is just broken for you. I know it's tough to hear that eventually it will hurt less, but history has proven that that is true. Feel all the sadness, then one day when you wake up and realize that you actually thought of something else first you might be heading towards a better place. I hope for your sake that that time comes sooner than later for you. Karen, I'm with the girls, just keep hoping and praying for now - I'll hope and pray for you too. Natasha - thank you - I know it sounds crazy, but you guys have helped me more than you know! Tracy - I swear I think we must have met in a past life - you always say just the right thing. This was a difficult thing for me - I just hope I can stay strong - there are still doubts. Dating my husband was quite different than being his wife. He's a good guy, just for someone else. I want a baby so much and at the same time was so worried that he would never be around. I would not ever want to do that to a child. This decision leaves me in quite a bind, but I have to believe in myself and take care of me. I don't mean to make this into the "leaving your husband" link, but I can't give you guys up :) Tracy - how could I go on without hearing the rest of your story! May is just around the corner. I hope all test results come back ok - I know they will. Stacie - I can't wait to hear the good news!! Meme, how are things?? Kristie - I did the ovudrel shot and it's no big deal - just a little shot in the belly :) Laurie, I'm pretty tenacious - I am working on getting a clearer understanding of what I want and need out of my life and not settling for anything less! I apologize - I find myself somewhat self absorbed these days - I hope I didn't miss anyone :) Rachel PS - I trust you all implicitly - I will definately give e-harmony a shot one day! |
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Rachel, I would pissed if you left us now. Stick around, maintain your friendships, talk about your feelings and we will support you. I felt like an ass posting on here when I got PG, but everybody told me to stick around and I'm so glad they did. Life isn't all about infertlity is it? |
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Thank you Tracie! |
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I mean - Thank you Tracy!! |
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I agree Tracy - life is rich and full and having children is just one aspect (the one that brought us all together) but now our friendships are about everything we all go through - the joys and the sadness. Dana - I can't imagine how you are feeling except I can tell you - I've got a lot of fight in me for you - we've got to get your doctors looking into this and figuring out what the heck is going on. It is absolutely cruel that you have lost 3 pg's - something is going on. When you get your fight back let us know and perhaps with our collective wisdom we can help you get to the bottom. Natasha and Tracy - thanks for staying on during your pg's you are helping the rest of us! Stacie - good news about how things are going "grow, babies grow"! Kristi - I had my u/s yesterday - have 5 follicles 2 on the left, 3 on the right. But 2 on the right are too small, so what's left and should be viable are 3 (21, 16 and 17mm) and so they expect they will be 23, 18 & 19 by tomorrow which is perfect. I triggered last night (ovidrel in the belly, the easiest, no big deal thing ever). I'm a little twingy today but fine otherwise. Lining was good at 9mm. So we go in tomorrow am for the IUI - yeah, we are so excited! Karen - I'll be thinking of you, just keep taking it easy and see what happens on Monday - expect good things! Laurie - you doing ok? Rachel - glad you are doing well. I am really proud of you - I know you can do it! |
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Dana, I agree with Meme. At this point I would make sure they study every aspect they can on you. Were you on progesterone supplementation? |
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Thanks Meme. I am trying hard to stay positive, but since I nearly have a panic attack each time I have to use the bathroom, just terrified of seeing spotting or bleeding, it isn't easy. I also got bad cramps again last night. I was just so convinced I would start AF I couldn't fall asleep. They are better today, and no signs of blood. I thought the 2ww was horrible. This waiting until the next test is much worse. And I only have to wait until Monday. Dana, you are scheduled for Wednesday, correct? Dana, my maternal aunt had a syndrome that caused her to have repeat miscarriages for years due to clotting factors. I will get you the name of it, but she ended up using aspirin and heparin during her last pregnancy, and it resulted in the birth of my nephew. We have GOT to find some answers for you. Tracy, how did your ultrasound go? And Rachel, I agree with Tracy...do not dare leave us. Strange as it may seem to others, I care about each and everyone of you so much, despite never having met. |
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Hi ladies, even though there are some difficult times going on with all of us, I truly enjoy reading the posts because I can FEEL the love and caring in each one, and the support that we have for one another. It warms my heart... Dana, I know for a fact that I wouldn't be at work, nor would I be talking to people. Allow yourself to grieve, it's the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. I agree that this is so unfair to happen to you three times..my heart goes out to you. I have a friend who mc'd over 5 times, and she says she now has a beautiful dd thanks to baby aspirin. Allow time to heal, but please don't give up - you will be a mom! Oh, and KAREN! Do not despair my dear... Look back in time on these threads, and you'll find that I said the same thing. My #'s did not double, (they went up by 60% only) and I too was worried. Honestly, if I had to do it again, I don't think I'd have taken the hcg, it only worried me. Aaand, I had spotting (light brownish for about 4-5 days), aaand a weird tummy ache. I'm now 13 weeks pg, heard a healthy heartbeat last week, and feeling pretty good! Hope that helps... Tracy, great that your fluid is not leaking..phew! meme, all the best on your iui my dear - I'm sure that all your positive thinking will create a life for you this cycle! Stacie, everything sounds like it's going great - praying for your embies to grab hold, grow and flourish! :) Laurie, hope you're doing okay... Kristi, how are you doing? Rachel, I know how you feel about these women, it's very hard to let them go, and the good news is..you don't have to. Like Tracy, I wondered if I should stop posting here once I got my bfp because part of me felt guilty, but we're in this together, so that's why I'm still here. :) |
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Karen, I am 28 weeks tomorrow and STILL look for blood on the toilet paper every time I go potty (which is all the damn time now!). For some reason we just never let go of trauma or fear of experiencing it again. Dana, I agree with Natasha, I would shut down too if the same thing happened to me. I also agree that you need to go through the grieving process in order to heal, as opposed to, keeping it inside and going about business as usual. Take all the time you need to feel however crappy you want to. |
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OK, if any of you want to see some of my U/S pictures from yesterday go to maymommies(dot)piczo(dot)com and click on Tracy88. I also put more pictures up of my fur babies. |
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Tracy - both you and your baby girl are BEAUTIFUL! I can't believe how good the u/s pics are - she is PERFECT! OK - ladies let's start getting those bfp's - it's going to happen for everyone. Karen & Stacie - I'm looking forward to lots of good news! Meme - this IUI is going to be it - I know it's time! Natasha - are you ready to announce a due date for us - I can't remember what month you are. Dana - still lots of caring wishes sent your way. Please don't get discouraged - we just can't. Like the girls said - we're all here for you :). Kristie - isn't your IUI this week too? You and Meme will be expecting at the same time!! Now for anyone who doesn't have anything to do other than listen to my problems here it goes...I'm struggling - dh (of course) is the most attentive, loving husband ever lately. The problem is that (obviously) I would rather not go through a divorce - I love my life and still love my husband. Please bear with me - if afraid I'm a bit crazy these days. It drives me bananas that he knows how to be a husband, but neglects to do so. We've been in therapy for about 6 months and while it seems to help, I now have all these doubts about us as a couple. I don't want to make the wrong decision. Please don't think of me as "the ttc'r who cried wolf" - I have an apartment picked out and everything, it's just that it's hard to leave a marriage. I really wanted this marriage and this life - I'm just afraid all dh's kindness will fade and I'll be back where I started. He's never been cruel to me - he just doesn't treat me as well as I know I should be treated. Sorry for the really long post - the store is slow today and I'm left here all alone with my rambling thoughts. Love, Rachel |
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Rachel, it is hard to leave relationships and your fears are completely justified. I had never been married, but I have had those boyfriends who are the same way......attentive when under the gun, but then revert back to "normal" when the pressure is off. Whatever you choose to do, don't settle. If you are not happy, get out. If you have complete faith in this person, then stay. If the faith is not solid and complete, then I'm not sure it ever will be. Does that make sense? I was with a guy for quite a while who just wasn't the one for me, even though he was nice and funny, etc....It took our relationship to end, for me to realize that we never even talked and that he knew very little about me, yet I was so determined to make it work and believe we had something that we did not. I was determined to believe he was something he was not, which was attentive to me! I realized after the fact that everything was always about him. He would buy me gifts and take me out, I even lived with him, but there was nothing holding us together. He never made comprimises for me, never wanted to be with my friends or my family, etc.... take your time with this decision. The answers will come to you. Talk to him and ask important questions like:"Where do you see us in 5 years, 10 years?" and if you are uncomfortable or not moved by what you hear then move on. Think back to those therapy sessions....how did you feel when you left? Confident? or just refreshed because you got crap off your chest? OK< have to go look at our favorite house again. Be back later. |
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Oh, and thank you for the compliment on my "perfect" baby. That is so sweet. My favorite picture is the one of her feet criss crossed. |
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Hi ladies! Karen--I am sending positive beta vibes your way...double, beta, double. I will definitely keep you in my prayers. Rachel--first off, you are not allowed to go anywhere! There would be a hole here if you left! I am sending you lots of love and support to help you through this time. Friends help each other through good and bad times, happiness and sadness. I wish I had all the right words to say to ease the pain for you...all I can say is I am sending my love your way. Natasha--how are you and your little bean? I miss the updates on your little one. You are my inspiration, so please update us with your milestones! Meme--how did the iui go? I am so excited for this cycle. Everything seems to be going so well! Good luck! Tracy--the pics are so cute. I like the crossed legs too! Is that the house you are thinking of getting? It is gorgeous! I am totally jealous! How is the bed rest going? Kristi--good luck with the u/s tomorrow. Hope your follies are getting nice and big! Dana--I completely retreated from everyone when I had my mc in early Jan. I didn't answer the phone and didn't see anyone for about a week. I was on winter break from school so I didn't go anywhere or see anything. Know you are not alone. I got through it because I was determined to find out why it happened in the first place. I definitely suggest going to your dr and demanding the recurrent mc tests that they do. Most drs do them after three mc (which I think is awful to wait for three) so that you don't have to go through this again. Hugs. Laurie, hope you are doing well. Update us on what is happening with you! Miss you! As for me, I did my bw today and my prog. is 55 (compared to 15 last ivf cycle) and estrogen is 581. I am to continue taking the same meds I am now. I am not sure what these levels mean, and I am sure they are only meant to continue the 2ww torture. Now my beta seems even farther away...how am I going to last until Friday? I am still experiencing twinges every now and then and have a pulling sensation around my belly button on occasion. I am not feeling anything at the moment except really sore bbs. Oh and a very sore butt from the prog. shots. Well, I guess that is all. I actually started this earlier, but fell asleep before I finished it so this is attempt number 2 at this post! Hope it makes sense! Take care wonderful ladies. Stacie |
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Okay, here is a strange question for you. Has anyone noticed that their pee smells different? This is the second day that my pee smells different (not bad, just different) and it has made me curious. To alleviate any fears you might have, no I do not stick my head in the toilet to smell my pee! :-) Nor do I usually talk about such things with people! I have just noticed a change and am wondering. Maybe I should just go to bed and stop embarrassing myself. TTYL Stacie |
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