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As I have posted a few times before my wife and I have been struggling to get pregnant and have failed continuously. She's 42, me 40, no children in our histories. So, we had her endriomosis removed, given her fertility shots, and done insemination five times. After all this and still no baby we have concluded we are never going to get pregnant, for whatever dumb reason we're not meant to. She wants to adopt, I'm highly against it. Therefore, we've concluded what we're going to do instead: take all our money we would have spent on future fertility treatments and blow it on ourselves. We've listed lots of places to travel to. We figure if we can't have a child, then we're going to do all the things you can't take a child with you. I think this is a good conclusion. If you can't have children, then do everything you ever wanted where you wouldn't have been able to take children anyway. At least some part of our lives can work out, not to mention spending the money in this way at least gives some results. All that money from before: gone. Too bad you can't get a refund when the treatments don't work.
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 | gmh - February 2 |
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Filmmaker, I am sorry to hear your news, I think your traveling idea sound great. I do have a question though and hope it is not to personal. I am in the same boat and my dh and I have agreed on three more injection and IUI cycles and we are done... He is not to interested in adoption and we have had a few loud discussion on it. I guess I am trying to understand his side so what I am asking if you don't mine is why are you against it ??
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filmmaker i dont mean to bud in but why are you so against this adoption. if the two of you really want a kid and it might not happen naturally for whatever reason, so why not adopt a child who is less fortunate that needs loving family and a good home, i hate to see your wife especially deprived of ever having a baby. you have to alos undetsand that this fertility issue if very stress and overwhelming for the women and if she liked to adopt i'd hate to see you throw the whole idea away.
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gmh and tanner789,
I'm against the whole adoption idea because I have always wanted to have a biological child. If I can't have it, then I don't think I want to take on someone else's child that I didn't get to create. That may sound selfish, but it's how I feel. I have always wanted the full experience of seeing the labor occur and my child coming into the world. If this can't happen, I don't want anything else. I think traveling will make up for the loss. I also can't help but feel that by my not being able to get my wife pregnant that I'm a failure. She keeps telling me it's not my side that's the problem, but I still feel if my sperm were any good it would have done something.
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filmaker24. it is a very sad situation. i knew---i am ttc for almost 2yrs with no result. but i guess we just have to let loose a bit. my aunt gave birth at 42 years old after 16 years of ttc. they did not think about it anymore and BAM . it happened...dont lose hope. that is the only thing we have left. ---it is like the LOTTO saying....you have to be in it to win it !
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i will still say not to loose hope...and i know you are sick of hearing it...but good idea to travel around and stuff but is'nt that what you do before settling down for a family...anyway its your call.....always remember either you believer or not and i am not accusing you of something it is totally upto you .in a time like this may be if you turn to god and try to get little closer to him a miracle could happen....see i am not religious either but i do have a faith which was lost long time ago but slowly working for me again......and nothing will happen before time only when ever it is decided for you!!!!! GOD IS GREAT..BABY DUST
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