NEW HOPE AND POSITIVE THOUGHTS-PART13
127 Replies
Toni - May 25

Hey Keeli! What is your update. Hi Amanda and Becky! Not much new here. I only have 4 more days of work!! Jillian is doing the army crawl. I hope everyone checks in soon.

 

isa - May 28

I found out on Saturday my beta was negative (yet again). We are now done with the fertility clinic and also no longer trying to conceive. If it happens it happens but no more bbt’s no more checking cp, cm, or anything. I will not even be checking what day of the month it is and if we feel like being intimate we will and if we don’t no more forced bd’ing if you know what I mean. I’m 41 ½ and have an extremely low to no chance naturally due to age, genetic condition, male factor etc etc so we are now getting on with our life anticipating it to be a childless future. Due to my chronic sleep disorders and fibroymyalgia which is chronic and not curable even if we wanted to adopt and had the money we would not qualify (anyone with anything chronic is not eligible to adopt) but we have no more money for that anyways. We spent way more than we ever thought we would just for that "1 more try" and I just dont produce enough follies anymore to try ivf again and theres no more money for it anyways. We have to cut our loses. I'm ok about it.....mostly. It's been a long 2 1/2 years trying (ever since we got married)and luckily unlike some couples it has not affected our relationship. I'd rather have my dh and no child than to be in an unhappy (or single) relationship with a child. My dh is my God send and I've believed that from the beginning. Good luck to all of you still trying, and wonderful prayers and wishes to those of you lucky enough already to have 1 or more children or expecting now. You are the chosen ones and one day maybe I'll find out why I wasnt but I'm ok with that (most of the time). Love and hugs to all of you over the past 2+ years, for your support and love and just getting me through the days sometimes.

 

Becky - May 29

Isa I am so sorry to hear about neg beta and your stopping ttc. I do understand giving up and if it happens great. I pray you guys get your baby. My sister has fibroymyalgia so I know all about that. I don't think I can adopt with my health history either. Toni I can just picture Jillian doing the army crawl how cute they are.. Tonya and Amanda how are things going. Hope everyone is doing great

 

Keeli - May 30

Hi Toni. My story is still the same. Things have slowed down in China so much. I'm still waiting. So sorry about the negative beta, Isa. Also, I just want to add that there is no rule out there that would prevent a person with a chronic illness that would not be able to adopt for that reason. Where did you hear this? My husband was in a wheel chair when we signed up for our adoption. He has since had a knee-replacement and is able to walk again, but we didn't know at the time that he would not spend the rest of his life in that chair. He has (chronic) arthritus. As for the cost of adoption, the fees are spread out over a long time, so they are not really as bad as you may think. The average cost for international adoption or the adoption of an infant here in the states is around $20,000 to $30,000, so its about the cost of a new car, and I know that at least for international adoption you get a $10,000 tax credit when the adoption is complete. There is also financial aid available to finance adoptions. I too was worried about the cost until I started looking into it. We are in debt up to our eyeballs, but the adoption costs, so far, have been managable. The cost significantly decreases if you adopt an older child here in the states, or if you locate a birth mother without an agency. I think I know where you are coming from, feeling like there is no hope. I went through that too. Just know that there really is hope. If/when you are ready, this option is out there. If not, just enjoy your time with your dh. He sounds like a dream!! Good luck!

 

isa - May 31

Hi Keeli thanks for your thoughts but I guess things are different in Canada regarding adoption because it states you must be physically fit and mentally fit and due to my condition i am not categorized as physcially fit due to my condition which is incureable and causes limb problems but to name a few(item f disqualifies me) and because my dh suffers from anxiety and is on medication he doesnt qualify under the new regulation "k. anxiety" .
Those are under the new qualifications from China (at least for Canada to adopt from there). We need to get on with our lives. Our whole married life has been trying to have a baby. We need to move on and thats what we're trying to do and hope that maybe it will occur naturally and if not we pay the bills and just move on together.

 

Keeli - June 4

Yes, China's new rules are rediculous. We barely squeeked in before the new rules were enacted on May 1, 2007. We would not qualify due to dh's physical ailments under the new rules. You may look into Vietnam. I've been really interested in that program, especially since our China adoption is taking sooooo long. I'm thinking about adopting a little boy their for our second child since we won't be able to go back to China with the new rules.

 

Toni - July 16

Hope somebody still checks this. Keeli I hope your adoption happens quickly. I know it's hard to wait. Not much going on here. Jillian is still just crawling and getting more teeth! But she is such a great baby!! Happy summer!!

 

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