FertilityFactor.com Home

Jennifer......I can relate to a MIL from hell but I do not think mine can top that (or at least she better not). I am with the girls and dh should most definitely take a stand with her. Sometimes I do not think they understand how much it hurts. I have had to confront mine a number of times. Dh was married before and has 2 kids. She makes it a point to make comments. She also has gone even to the length of teeling me we would never have a child seeing my husband was "fixed". She had no clue I was already pregnant and had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. So I blasted her out of the water and told her she should really get her facts together before spreading a rumor. She did not talk to me for a while (no big deal). I never did tell about pregnancy and it was not until ectopic in Sept of 05 when she figured out my husband was not "fixed" as she thought. UGH!!! I would talk to her and tell her how much that hurt. I am sorry you had to be put in that situation. Hey EMM and d. Lori, is that you?

yeah lynn it is me!!!!!!!!!!

ahh- Lynn that is me over on the MIL from Hell!!!!!! wow.. why are they so damn harsh. Like i said in there. My MIL thanks god and prays everyday that she doesn't hear that i am pg. She said "Good" the last time we thought. I have gone to her house maybe twice since then.. she always has a comment for one thing or another. And some days I wish i had my ex's mother as a mil. My ex's mother was the best. When my mom wasn't there for me she was for 5 years. But MIL will be MIL. Dh should be happy my mother has and will not every make a negative comment about him. When she saw my christmas tree this year decorated. she looked at it and said "well if you like this sort of stuff". what the hell I grew up in a different time than you. She is also very old fashioned. But I do know that she does try to mean well and she really isen't that bad. She just cares.

d....lol, I read your post first on our other thread. LMAO....you are so funny. I would be pissed and mouthing off if my MIL said good when she found out I was not pregnant. Mine only knew we were trying after my ectopic surgery. She now thinks we are just taking some time off to heal.

What a witch! I guess I should be glad my mother-in-law isn't quite that evil. How can women like that produce the men we love?
Mine isn't mean because she wants to be, she just has a real talent for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
Well, she might be a little mean. She did punch my husband's girlfriend in college...

Perhaps you are being a little hard on the woman. I mean she wants grandchildren and unless its her sons fault then its yours. I dont mean to sound rude, but everyone always thinks that infertility is a bubble, but relatives are affected as well. She is probably relizing that she may never have grandchildren and somewhat wrongly is blaming you, give her a break.

that witch doesn't deserve grandchildren! If I had her grandchild I wouldn't let that beach even see my child. I really would kick her azz! Sally...are you a mil from hell?

Sally - don't take this the wrong way... there is no "fault" in infertility. Perhaps just a poor choice of words on your part? I mean it's kind of like blaming a blind person for not being able to see the color red! We can all appreciate the ripple effect of infertility, but that doesn't mean the disappointment should be announced at a family gathering. No matter how many ways we want to flip it around and look at it, that was just the wrong thing for jennifer's MIL to do!

I really don't think it is possible to be too hard on a woman like that! What she said was so wrong that it shouldn't even have to be explained. Sure, the woman wants grandkids, but Jennifer wants children too. Its probably harder on her than it is on her mother in law, who already experienced the joy of being a mother. Oh, and I don't think there should talk about fault either. There's no point in trying to hold anyone responsible for infertility.

Sally... at the risk of sounding rude, Are you a bit touched in the head? 90% of infertillity is unexplained! That 10% is actually lucky sometimes to find an explanation, I mean if it's something that can be addressed. No one has a right to belittle your problems. I'm afraid I can't relate to MIL issues, I have Mother issues! She kept telling me to give up as God only grants children to the deserving! After 15 yrs together & multiple miscarriages we are now blessed to be welcoming twins this summer. We even moved across the country to see yet another doctor. I live him! Now my Mother keeps tellling me to pray for my babies as they were not conceived in the "natural way"! Don't let anyone stop you or make you feel "abnormal". If someone doesn't support your struggle, they don't support your life! I hope your hubby stands up for you!

To sally: in no way shape or form is this Jennifer's "fault" and I really don't see how you can find a way to excuse her mil behavior. It was unacceptable to put it lightly and even if that is truely how her mil feels, it was extremely inappropriate and hurtful for her to verbalize those thoughts!

I am going to jump ur MIL wagon! My MIL said to my husband years back - You love kids so much you won't have any of your own - Can you believe that s**t. I guess she cursed us as we have been trying for 6 years. Then one day we were going over (i hate their dog) she said to my FIL put the dog outside otherwise Toni will lose the baby!!! My FIL thought I was pregnant!! How cruel was that!! To even say such a horrible thing knowing full well that is my worst nightmare. My husband keeps telling me she doesn't think at times but her heart is in the right place. To be honest, if it wasn't for my husband I'd have nothing to do with the MIL and the SIL.. come to think of it..the whole demented family!

Wow jennifer! That is about the rudest thing I've ever heard! It sucks that you were treated like that. What a horrible thing for your MIL to say! I have in law problems, too. So I can relate. But I've never had any of them say anything as ignorant, rude, or harsh as that. It's bad enough that those things were said to you, but then for your DH to be unsupportive of you and your feelings! You have every right to be upset and he should be the one comforting you and having words with his mother. Hang in there sweetie and don't give up! I think the best thing for you to do is stay away from the MIL and her rude comments and negativity. It will only add more stress and anxiety on top of the stress of ttc. When my DH and I were ttc, my in laws had all negative things to say about it. They kept saying that we weren't ready for a baby and they didn't want a grandchild until they were 50, so they wouldn't feel old-plus many more things). Give me a break! They acted like the child's life would revolve around them. Well, I'm now 35 weeks pregnant and due to have my beautiful little girl next month! I barely talk to the in laws because of the continued negativiy and rudeness. It has been such a relief not to have to be around them. Of course, now they can't understand why I don't kiss their butts and don't come around to see or talk to them anymore. Oh well. They choose how they want to act and now they're reaping the consequences. Do what's best for you sweetie! Good luck with ttc!

Wow- what a psycho your MIL is! And Sally - what you said is really ridiculous. Yes, it is true that the MIL i probably very sad about not having grandchildren, but that is no excuse for what she said, and saying it publicly is even worse. She didn't just let a secret slip - the witch called her "half a woman, " and assumed the whole problem was Jennifer's "fault." IT unbelievably rude and inexcusable how she went out of her way to insult her, drunk or not. I so agree with everyone that you not see her until she apologizes, or better yet not see her at all. Some peopel are just bitter toxic human beings and we are better without them in our lives.