I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE!
466 Replies
me - October 27

Thanks Justine, you're sweet. As of right now, they are not going to do anything for this cycle since I had the cyst only a week ago. I was supposed to start clomid this month, but that is on hold until next cycle due to the cyst. :( I was SO looking forward to the clomid to help me out. They used this month as the testing month. My glucose test came back normal, so no Met for me. Hubby tests are all normal, from semen analysis to blood work. I can have sex tonight if I want to even though I had the HSG today. This month seems like it is timing only. Clomid begins next month, cyst permitting that is. If it doesn't go away in a month or so, then I will need to get it surgically drained. I will definitely try the acupuncture before I have the surgery. How about you? What are you doing to help TTC? Thanks again for the kind words. Who knows, maybe next month I will be wanting to vent again. Ah what a tangle web we weave when we are trying to conceive.

 

Justine - October 27

me - i understand the need to vent. i post regularly on another thread too and if you were to read through all of my posts you can see that with each passing month my vents get louder and stronger! i'm just starting my 9 month ttc and have a first appointment with an RE on november 8. i decided not to wait too long as i'm almost 35 and ttc #1. i'm looking to try acupuncture too as this book that jcr recommended explains that it really can be very beneficial in terms of your own health and ttc. other than that i'm doing all the usual stuff, ie. temping, opks, cm and bd lots! do you mind if i ask where you live?

 

H - October 27

yes..I got da sperm and she got da egg..but how to get them to meet up..So hard...yet so easy for some people..

 

jcr - October 28

Me, congrats on today you must be soooo relieved! I am happy for you. Just got a call from my RE, she said I probably didn't ovulate from the look of my blood tests. I am quite bummed but not totally convinced. I had the ewcm, the pain on the right side and a drop in temps. My temps haven't gone up yet, which is not a good sign. At this point I am not sure what to do. I am torn between trying something more with an RE I like, or sticking with acupuncture for a while longer. Like you Justine, the old clock is ticking, I am going to be 38 in December and would love to be pg by then, but then again wouldn't we all???? I wish this whole thing was so much easier, everyone in my family got pg at the drop of the pants except me. I have 21 nieces and nephews and 2 grand nephews and a grand niece. Why me?? I am sorry I guess I am just blowing hot air now, have a goodnight all and fingers crossed for my Dr being wrong.

 

Justine - October 28

jcr - what options has the RE presented you with? i know i read in that book that many women have found that once they've started to use the acupuncture and herbs that they have much better results with assisted therapy with the re. i know that i'm torn between giving the acupuncture and herbs time to become effective once i start them and the desire to see something definite being done by the re. it's a tough one for sure. cd 7 for me today and almost time to get the opks out for another month and get dh prepped for another cycle...lol!

 

me - October 28

Justine - I currently live in Eastern PA, about a hour north of Philly. How about you? If you have any questions about your first trip to the RE, feel free to ask away. JCR - I understand how you feel. Just because the tests aren't in your favor right now, listen to your body. In my experience, temping didn't help much. I only confirmed O through a vaginal ultrasound. I also felt the pain in the side, and it was the result of ovulation, albeit the huge cyst I am talking of. Have you guys thought of IVF or anything? H - If it was only that easy right? :)

 

Justine - October 28

me - i'm english but now living in colorado with my dh who is american. with respects to the re, i'd like to know what is going to happen on the first visit, what types of questions they'll ask and what tests they'll run. i really don't think that i have a problem with ovulation as af has always been regular, i always show a surge on the opk and i get the ovulation dip and next day sustained temp rise when charting. so i'm at a loss as to what the problem is. i try not to worry too much but sometimes my mind goes haywire and that's when i start obsessing and getting down but that's usually only when af shows up each month. for the rest of the cycle i'm usually much better. how about you? how do you cope with it all?

 

jcr - October 28

hi all, Justine a good RE should take a complete history and do all the bloodwork. I just got off the phone witih the new one I met with on wed. She said my progesterone was too low for me to have ovulated. YEEEEEESH! She also said she didn't think I was typical pcos either, said it may be more hypothyroid due to stress? I don't believe I could have been stresses out for sooo many years!! 8 years no b/c plus previous marriage of 3 years?? That is a lot of years to have lots of stress?? Plus the no cycles I just don't understand. I feel like I am back at the begining. At least with pcos I had reasons. I am really confused now. I guess I better go clean my messy house to deal with the stress of stress. Go figure, just when I think I got it figured out it all changes on me again. Me, I guess today is my day to cry and feel like a woman with too many puzzle pieces missing. Have a good weekend everyone.

 

miranda - October 28

i have pcos and have a 1year old son with no meds and am now pregnant more than likelly with twins because i had 2 corpus luteum cysts( i o'd 2 eggs) with the help of clomid....you can have babies with pcos...just hang in there and you are in my prayers!!!

 

Justine - October 28

Miranda - congratulations that's fantastic news, and twins too, how happy and excited you must be. jcr - thanks for the re info. i'm getting a little excited (and nervous) about it now but hope that i can get some answers (hopefully good ones). so what's next for you now are they going to test your thyroid function? i bet your house is spotlessly clean now if you're anything like me. normally i hate doing the house but if i'm stressed or annoyed then i'm like a whirlwind cleaning and scrubbing until i either get bored or the stress wears off, then i just stop! ok well time to go cook dinner for me, then the gym and then vegging in front of the tv as dh is out working late tonight. have a great evening all.

 

me - October 29

She is correct. When I went to the RE, he took a total history of me, my spouse and family background. Answer everything honestly, even if it is embarrassing, like an std or something. Since I fasted the night before and in the morning, we got some preliminary bloodwork done the same day as the appointment. You may get a vaginal ultrasound to see where you are in your cycle and to check things out. I did. Not to be graphic, but it feels like your hubby inside you, nothing painful at all. I think it is kind of cool to see your body from the inside. I actually saw the classic string of pearls associated with PCOS for the first time. Anyhoo, that was it for my first appt. Ask questions if you have them, but write them down because they will probably talk about a lot of stuff and you will forget them. Depending on your diagnosis and treatment, they will tell you when to call and start treatment. With mine, I was supposed to do the clomid challange test, but due to my cyst, it is on hold this month. Instead, I got my HSG on CD 8, and some more bloodwork to rule out insulin resistance. Everything came bakc normal for me. Basically, I am normal except for PCOS.

 

me - October 29

I TOTALLY know how you feel kiddo. I know it is sounds silly, but having a good cry can make a world of difference. I am assuming the hubby is normal with his tests? You know, it could just be something as simple as the sperm not getting through the cm, whether is it due to the wrong ph or just too thick. Have you tried robitussin to thin it out? Hopefully this new RE can point you in the right direction. I know it may not be much consolation right now, but my RE said that PCOS can manifest itself is a variety of ways. The "typical" signs of PCOS are not really accurate. I am not a typical case either. I just don't ovulate. The most important thing is to get your hormones back in balance and get you regular. How is the acupuncture going? We are here for you so vent away! Go hug your daughter and try to have a good weekend. You did it before and you will do it again! (get pregnant that is :)

 

jcr - October 29

Thanks me for the kind words. I just don't ovulate and if not for metformin I wouldn't have periods either. No one has been able to give me an answer, since I was young I have always worried about not being able to have children. I guess sometimes we just know things. I am just holding out hope that we can figure out what is up with me. I have been pg 2 x naturally so I can't be that messed up can I???? My daughter is running around half naked playing "big sister" to her doll. Too much Dora the Explorer, I just hope she doesn't want a monkey!! Thanks for your kind words me. I hate unloading too much on my hubby, they try to fix instead of just letting you vent. Love them tho!

 

SHERY - October 29

I HAVE HEARD AFTER HSG IT INCREASES YOUR CHANCE OF BECOMING PREGNANT IN THE FEW CYCLES, THEREAFTER, IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER. I GOT PREGGO 2 MONTHS POST HSG, BUT I WAS ALSO USING CLOMID, HOWEVER I BELIEVE THAT IT DID HELP, AND ME..IAM GLAD YOU ARE ALL CLEAR! GREAT NEWS:) STAY +++'VE IT WILL HAPPEN, HUGS SHERRY

 

me - October 29

If you can have monkey, and not a child, than we have bigger issues we need to talk about ;) Have a great weekend!

 

Justine - October 30

me - that was a funny comment about the monkey, it made me smile. congratulations sherry, it always gives me more hope when i hear about someone getting pg especially if it's been somewhat of a struggle to do so. jcr - i've read that book and i've now started it again so that i can try and work out my own profile. i've also contacted a local acupuncturist who specialises in women's issues so i'm waiting to hear back from her too. i'm very fortunate as dh is very supportive and will basically support whatever i choose to try and has even begun to change his own diet to make it healthier...yey! however, i have had a stomach bug the last couple of days so i'm thinking it may delay when i ovulate this week, does anyone know if this might be true? enjoy the rest of your weekend all.

 

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