Husband getting frustrated
7 Replies
waitinforalittleone - March 20

We have been trying for about 15 months now , started on clomid,estradiol,and prochieve last month but i guess ( doc said) i just didn't have a cycle this month- didn't get my period but start provera today after going through hell with clomid!! Anyways, talking to dh - said he didn't really want to do another round of it b/c he's tired of clockwork sex and on a schedule for over a year now - i told him that even if i din't take the medicine i would still be trying - you know- anyways going through with another month of all the medicine and we will see what happens but this is really stressing out our marriage and starting to think he is just fed up with the whole idea which makes me upset that i can't give him a baby- all his stuff is fine and i did ovulate and have regular cycles till now and tubes clear but i just want a baby so bad and it seems now that we've been trying this long friends are getting pg and some have already had their babies since we've started trying - it is sooooo devastating - the one thing i want the most won't happen for whatever reason!!! he also works on a drilling rig so it is very hard to hold all those feelings in a week at a time b/c i can't talk to him except a short phone call here and there and have no one to talk to who feels the same way and knows what i am going through!!


ConfusedMom2B - March 21

I understand what you are going through. There are other options if you cannot conceive. Adoption is the best option. You are giving a baby a life that a mother didn't want or couldn't afford. I know that you would be a great mother to your own flesh and blood or an adopted baby. The only other option that I colud suggest is to take it easy. Don't let your husband think that he is on the schedule to have sex with you when the time is right. I've read from other woman that they say if you just take it easy and make it fun, then you could conceive even faster. I don't know if my suggestions are any use to you, but I thought I might try to help. I know everything is going to be alright.


LB - March 21

Hello waitin, i totally understand what you are going through, it is hard on my dh as well because he can't stand to just "perform" and as he puts it just "used" sometimes we get into arguments about it so i told him i just won't tell him anymore but he is smarter then i think because i get quite affectionate around that time and he justs knows. I have also taken provera 5 days past the last pill and still no period, i havn't had one since january and it is very fustrating i don't know what the heck is going on with me and why i can't even get a period even with medication. I also have pcos and am supposed to start clomid once i have my period, it feels like a catch 22 because no period no clomid, and i can't stand my body sometimes!


Lynn - March 21

Well Girls...Just thought I would offer my 2 cents. We have been TTC for almost 3 years. I have had success...June 2004 pregnant, July 2004 miscarried and August 2005 pregnant, Sept. 2005 ended in an ectopic (which had surgery) but have yet to carry one to term. I completely understand what each of you say about your dh's. I have also had 3 IUI's and each time, dh talks about needing to "perform" and when we are trying alone, he hates the "pressure". So, I know my husband is smart enough but I decided to try to mask when it is the "right" time. I took some advice from other girls on here and began requesting BDing on off times. I basically ask for BDing before the O and after the O to keep him guessing. Maybe you all can try that. One gilr mentioned different clothes to keep it alive and guessing. I hope something works. Just keep in mine, TTC is a stressful time. Hope something works for you.


waitinforalittleone - March 21

maybe one of you can help- around the time my period was supposed to come my boobs did get real sore and still are and i got some cramps but period never showed up - we'll see what the provera does but why did i get the symptoms i normally do and then doc gives me medicine to make me start- i am very confused- thanks for all the support and we do plan to adopt in the future if we do or don't have children of our own - we both have agreed upon that already but i will be 21 in july and i don't think it should be this hard for us to concieve- it makes me worry about when i am older and how we will have babies then hopefully


mg - March 21

My DH is the same way, sometimes I think he actually picks fights with me around that time so we dont have sex!!LOL. My OB said it is the most common and normal thing she hears, her husband was the same way. We used to fight about it so much!!! What I realized was that it want the sex on demand that bothered him, it was the constant talking about it that did. This is what I did I just broke it down to him, OK if this is going to happen we need to have sex X amount of days. The the rest of the time I just dropped the whole subject. When I get close to the big O, I just joke with him "sweety I know your going to hate this but we need to have sex for the next couple of days, so be strong and take one for the team!" It keeps things light and fun.


ConfusedMom2B - March 21

That is great that you are planning to adopt. You are going to be a giving a baby girl or boy the opportunity that they would never get without loving support of a mother and father. Great! I hope that everything works out for you. I'm 20 years old, and I just tried one month and I didn't get pregnant. So, I'm just beginning this wonderful time of trying to conceive! Best Wishes and Baby Dust to you!


Ann - March 21

I understand you guys' frustrations and it is really warranted. It seems like we women do almost all the work in ttc, but we need the sperm to complete this thing!LOL Both we and DHs have to deal with scheduled BDing, which is awkward, but we have to do so much more. I have a needle phobia yet I have given blood countless times, have gone through feeling like my insides were being ripped out from the HSG, had a hysteroscopy for a polyp and fibroids, had a laparoscopy where they discovered endo, have taken numerous meds to try to get pg, and now last cycle (to add to the trauma of needles) had to give myself 22 shots in the stomach (am in the 2ww now from that). Frankly, if my DH ever expressed frustration with having to have sex every once in a while or having to do his thing in a cup, I would lose it!! That is nothing compared to the stress I had of holding a needle over my stomach and the crying I did after. I think our DHs all need to suck it up and do their parts!! I talked to my DH about this post last night, by the way, and he totally agrees that they have the easy part! Sorry if this is harsh, but I had to vent...



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